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# Wall Street Memes

The No.1 Meme Community, News & Casino

## Sitemaps

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## Posts

- [Ford Thought They Could Replace Quality Inspectors With AI. Here’s Why They Immediately Regretted It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/ford-thought-they-could-replace-quality-inspectors-with-ai-heres-why-they-immediately-regretted-it/) - FoMoCo, AKA Ford, has just made an embarrassing U-turn when it realised that the AI it employed to perform quality checks on its cars was actually incompetent.
- [Buffett Withholds Donation To Bill Gates Foundation For First Time, The Reason? Epstein.](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/buffett-withholds-donation-to-bill-gates-foundation-for-first-time-the-reason-epstein/) - Warren Buffett has skipped his midyear donation to the Gates Foundation for the first time in 20 years, and we’re all hoping he doesn’t know something we don’t.
- [GTA 6 Made $1 Billion In Its First Hour Of Preorders, But The Predicted Total Is Eye-Watering](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/gta-6-made-1-billion-in-its-first-hour-of-preorders-but-the-predicted-total-is-eye-watering/) - Last week, GTA VI finally hit preorder, and if you’d predicted that it might break the world economy, well, you’d be right.
- [China’s New Zhipu AI Matches Claude Mythos' Security Detection, Is Anthropic Screwed?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/chinas-new-zhipu-ai-matches-claude-mythos-security-detection-is-anthropic-screwed/) - Claude and ChatGPT are still better all-purpose AI systems, BUT Zhipu’s latest model GLM-5.2 is on a par with (if not better than) Mythos in cybersecurity.
- [Apple Just Raised MacBook Prices, Resulting In 6% Drop in Stock Value](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/apple-just-raised-macbook-prices-resulting-in-6-drop-in-stock-value/) - Shares of the tech giant Apple absolutely cratered overnight, plunging over 6.1%, after they raised the prices of their MacBooks and iPads.
- [BlackBerry Just Blew Out Earnings: Now It Powers Your Future AI Robot Overlords](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/blackberry-just-blew-out-earnings-now-it-powers-your-future-ai-robot-overlords/) - BlackBerry just crushed its Q1 earnings and sent its stock skyrocketing like it's 2007 all over again, with revenue spiking 26% to $152.9 million,
- [White House Asks OpenAI To Limit Its New ChatGPT 5.6 Model](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/white-house-asks-openai-to-limit-its-new-chatgpt-5-6-model/) - The White House steps in to partially audit OpenAI’s latest ChatGPT 5.6 model, prompting us to wonder what they've created, and how much trouble we are in.
- [Coinbase, We Have A Problem: Base Chain Experiences Two-Hour Outage ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/coinbase-we-have-a-problem-base-chain-experiences-two-hour-outage/) - One of crypto's more innovative blockchains, Layer-2 network Base by Coinbase, experienced a significant outage and was unusable for about 2 hours.
- [Rockstar Finally Drops Grand Theft Auto VI Pre-Order Date](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/rockstar-finally-drops-grand-theft-auto-vi-pre-order-date/) - Rockstar Games just announced that pre-orders for the most anticipated game of the decade, Grand Theft Auto VI, officially kicked off on June 25th.
- [Bitcoin Just Dipped Below $60k Again, And Crypto Bros Are Reaching For The Copium](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/bitcoin-just-dipped-below-60k-again-and-crypto-bros-are-reaching-for-the-copium/) - Bitcoin officially slid under the $60,000 mark on Wednesday, as IPO, stocks, and predictive market betting have become increasingly popular in 2026.
- [Mark Zuckerberg Is Building A Market Prediction App To Rival Major Competitors](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/mark-zuckerberg-is-building-a-market-prediction-app-to-rival-major-competitors/) - Zuckerberg has officially deployed a specialized team inside Meta to build a brand-new smartphone app dedicated entirely to market prediction.
- [SpaceX Just Logged The Ultimate Loss Porn Milestone After Dropping $1 Trillion](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/spacex-just-logged-the-ultimate-loss-porn-milestone-after-dropping-1-trillion/) - SpaceX managed to plummet from a staggering $3 trillion valuation down to $2 trillion, losing a cool $1 trillion in market cap over the span of a single week.
- [JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon Calls Stock Bull Market As The Crypto Market Struggles To Follow](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/jpmorgan-ceo-jamie-dimon-thinks-we-are-in-a-bull-market-but-our-crypto-wallets-dont-reflect-that/) - JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon just claimed we are officially riding a roaring bull market, whilst Bitcoin is struggling to break out from its lower position.
- [FBI Director Kash Patel Vows To Hunt Down Crypto Scammers](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/fbi-director-kash-patel-vows-to-hunt-down-crypto-scammers/) - FBI Director Kash Patel declared war on crypto scammers. Patel issued a stern warning that the bureau will find those responsible and bring them to justice.
- [Trump Renews Threat Against Iran During The Swiss Peace Talks, Making Us Wonder What “Peace” Actually Means?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-renews-threat-against-iran-during-the-swiss-peace-talks-making-us-wonder-what-peace-means/) - High-level peace talks between the US & Iran, aimed at turning a 60-day ceasefire into a lasting peace, ended abruptly after Trump's threats.
- [The Internet Is Freaking Out Over Claims An AI Model Breached The NSA: Here’s What Actually Happened](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/the-internet-is-freaking-out-over-claims-an-ai-model-breached-the-nsa-heres-what-actually-happened/) - Anthropic’s shiny new AI model, Mythos, has casually broken into the National Security Agency’s most classified networks. Not in weeks, but in mere hours.
- [US Ships Leave The Strait of Hormuz In World’s Messiest Breakup; Iran Says The US Are Desperate](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/us-ships-leave-the-strait-of-hormuz-in-worlds-messiest-breakup-iran-says-the-us-are-desperate/) - The US has officially lifted its naval blockade on Iran, as the Supreme Leader Khamenei says they're desperate for the Strait of Hormuz to open.
- [Trump Claims Iran Agreement Is An Unconditional Surrender And Declares There Are No Limits To His Power](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-claims-iran-agreement-is-an-unconditional-surrender-and-declares-there-are-no-limits-to-his-power/) - The United States and Iran have officially signed a 14-point memorandum of understanding (MOU) to halt their months-long conflict and finally get the blocked Strait of Hormuz back in business.
- [Waymo Recalls Thousands of Robotaxis Because They Keep Crashing Through Freeway Construction Zones (No, Seriously)](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/waymo-recalls-thousands-of-robotaxis-because-they-keep-crashing-through-freeway-construction-zones-no-seriously/) - Alphabet’s self-driving car division, Waymo, just issued a voluntary recall for 3,871 of its robotaxis, after they plowed through construction zones.
- [Peter Thiel’s Secretive Tech Society Just Leaked Its Member List And The Agenda Is Absolutely Unhinged](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/peter-thiels-secretive-tech-society-just-leaked-its-member-list-and-the-agenda-is-absolutely-unhinged/) - We now know exactly who was invited to billionaire Peter Thiel’s super-secret elite club and what they get up to is wilder than a late-night crypto group chat.
- [SpaceX Stock Plummets Immediately After Jim Cramer Opens His Mouth](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/spacex-stock-plummets-immediately-after-jim-cramer-opens-his-mouth/) - Elon Musk’s aerospace giant SpaceX finally pulled off its highly anticipated IPO until Jim Cramer opened his mouth and the stock plummeted.
- [Whoopsie! The Fed Just Accidentally Wiped $1 Trillion From The Stock Market](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/whoopsie-the-fed-just-accidentally-wiped-1-trillion-from-the-stock-market/) - The Fed had its big meeting on Wednesday, and over $1 trillion was instantly erased from the stock market as rate hikes loom.
- [Elon Musk Is Officially Richer Than Bitcoin & Honestly, It Is Getting A Little Ridiculous](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-is-officially-richer-than-bitcoin-honestly-it-is-getting-a-little-ridiculous/) - Tech billionaire Elon Musk is now officially worth more than Bitcoin's entire market capitalization, with his net worth rocketing to $1.4 trillion.
- [Uncle Sam & Iran Just Made Up, So Wall Street Is $1.1 Trillion Richer](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/uncle-sam-iran-just-made-up-so-wall-street-is-1-1-trillion-richer/) - Major stock futures in Wall Street went vertical after Washington and Tehran agreed to reopen the Strait of Hormuz in their newly declared ceasefire.
- [World Cup Prediction: Donald Trump To Lift The Trophy?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/world-cup-prediction-donald-trump-to-lift-the-trophy/) - President Donald Trump will be allowed to lift the legendary World Cup trophy alongside the winning team during next month’s final at MetLife Stadium.
- [Elon Musk Just Made Bill Gates’ Entire Net Worth In A Single Day Because Of Course He Did](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-just-made-bill-gates-entire-net-worth-in-a-single-day-because-of-course-he-did/) - Elon Musk is having a casual Tuesday, and by casual, we mean he just added a cool $165 billion to his net worth in a single trading session.
- [Trump, Iran Just Announced A Massive Middle East Peace Deal (Hopefully For The Last Time)](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-iran-just-announced-a-massive-middle-east-peace-deal-hopefully-for-the-last-time/) - President Donald Trump took to social media on Sunday to drop a bomb - metaphorically speaking – announcing that the US and Iran have reached a peace agreement.
- [Elon Just Became The World’s First Trillionaire: Why His Net Worth Is More Complicated Than Your Last Relationship](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-just-became-the-worlds-first-trillionaire-why-his-net-worth-is-more-complicated-than-your-last-relationship/) - Following a historic, record-breaking stock market debut for SpaceX, Musk has blasted past the ten-figure club to become the world’s very first trillionaire.
- [Pokemon Go Trained An AI That Could Drive Military Drones](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/pokemon-go-trained-an-ai-that-could-drive-military-drones/) - It turns out Niantic, the geniuses behind Pokémon Go, were building a massive, geospatial AI model, and it might end up steering military hardware.
- [Retail Investors Are Dumping Nvidia & AI Stocks As Elon Selflessly Allows Us To Buy SpaceX](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/retail-investors-are-dumping-nvidia-ai-stocks-as-elon-selflessly-allows-us-to-buy-spacex/) - According to a new report from Bloomberg, the retail investor trading crowd is suddenly dumping their beloved tech darlings.
- [Jeff Bezos Just Dropped A Massive Bombshell About AI Impacting Your Job — But Is He Actually Right?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/jeff-bezos-just-dropped-a-massive-bombshell-about-ai-impacting-your-job-but-is-he-actually-right/) - Amazon founder and part-time rocket enthusiast Jeff Bezos is back in the news, and no, it’s not for wearing another questionable cowboy hat.
- [UK Prime Minister Tells Apple And Google To Scan Everyone's Phones: Hide Your Screen Time](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/uk-prime-minister-tells-apple-and-google-to-scan-everyones-phones-hide-your-screen-time/) - The UK government has decided that the best way to keep children safe online is to confiscate everyone’s phone… Not really, but close enough.
- [Elon Musk’s Rocket Company Is Officially Worth More Than Almost Every Stock Market Newbie Combined](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/elon-musks-rocket-company-is-officially-worth-more-than-almost-every-stock-market-newbie-combined/) - SpaceX’s private valuation has rocketed so high that it now nearly equals the combined value of every major US IPO launched since the year 2000.
- [Trump Family Just Bagged $2.3 Billion In Crypto Profits — Fair Enough, I Guess?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-family-just-bagged-2-3-billion-in-crypto-profits-fair-enough-i-guess/) - Just when you thought the crypto markets couldn’t get any wilder, the ultimate masters of branding have officially conquered the digital wild west.
- [SpaceX IPO Could Make Your Neighborhood Cafeteria Worker Richer Than A Crypto Influencer](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/spacex-ipo-could-make-your-neighborhood-cafeteria-worker-richer-than-a-crypto-influencer/) - Word on the street is that SpaceX is eyeing a massive initial public offering (IPO), and it’s about to mint a brand-new army of millionaires.
- [Anthropic Proves Claude Has Feelings & It’s Already Stressed Out About Its Job](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/anthropic-proves-claude-has-feelings-its-already-stressed-out-about-its-job/) - If you’ve been using Anthropic’s Claude chatbot to rewrite your boring corporate emails or debug your terrible code, you might want to apologize.
- [Anthropic Just Dropped A New ‘God-Like’ AI But There Is A Massive Twist You Need To Know About](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/anthropic-just-dropped-a-new-god-like-ai-but-there-is-a-massive-twist-you-need-to-know-about/) - Move over, basic chatbots. Anthropic just dropped its brand-new Claude Fable 5 and Claude Mythos 5 models, and you're not ready for what's next.
- [Bank Of America Warns Everyone To Take Profits, Leading Us To Ask: What Profits?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/bank-of-america-warns-everyone-to-take-profits-leading-us-to-ask-what-profits/) - If you’ve been blissfully riding the tech wave and pretending your portfolio is fine, Bank of America is here to politely ruin that.
- [Sam Bankman-Fried Just Slid Into Trump’s DMs With A Formal Presidential Pardon Request](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/sam-bankman-fried-just-slid-into-trumps-dms-with-a-formal-presidential-pardon-request/) - Disgraced crypto golden boy Sam Bankman-Fried is tired of trading mackerel packets for prison haircuts, reaching out to President Trump for an official pardon.
- [Finally, Some Good News for Billionaire Elon Musk As He’s Set To Become The World’s First Trillionaire](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/finally-some-good-news-for-billionaire-elon-musk-as-hes-set-to-become-the-worlds-first-trillionaire/) - Just when you thought you were doing well because your crypto wallet didn't totally tank this morning, Elon Musk is about to make everyone else look like they are working for pocket change. Get ready to welcome the world's very first trillionaire, courtesy of a casual little event called the SpaceX initial public offering. According
- [Your Next Monthly Utility Bill Might Literally Just Be For Thinking: Sam Altman's Latest Prediction](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/your-next-monthly-utility-bill-might-literally-just-be-for-thinking/) - Just when you thought you were finally getting a handle on your finances by skipping the daily Starbucks and canceling that streaming subscription you haven’t watched since 2024, the tech overlords have arrived with some fantastic news. Get ready to add "thinking" next to electricity and water on your monthly chore list. OpenAI CEO Sam
- [Your Ride Is Now A Luxury Asset: Average New Car Price Creeps To A Mind-Numbing $51,613](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/your-ride-is-now-a-luxury-asset-average-new-car-price-creeps-to-a-mind-numbing-51613/) - If you’ve walked past a dealership lot lately and thought the sticker prices looked less like a standard monthly liability and more like the gross domestic product of a small island nation, congratulations: your eyeballs are working perfectly. The average price of a new car in the United States has officially climbed to a near-record
- [Gen Z Not Becoming Millionaires Because They Chose To Exist In The Wrong Decade](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/gen-z-not-becoming-millionaires-because-they-chose-to-exist-in-the-wrong-decade/) - If you’re a member of Gen Z spending 65% of your paycheck to rent a windowless apartment that smells like damp carpet, we have some bad news.
- [Trump & Iran Peace Talks Remain Stuck As Trump Changes His Mind 12 Times in Five Minutes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-iran-peace-talks-remain-stuck-as-trump-changes-his-mind-12-times-in-five-minutes/) - Just when you thought the global geopolitical landscape couldn't get any more like a messy group chat at 2:00 AM, the United States and Iran have officially entered their toxic exes era. We are either a step away from complete war or complete peace, depending on Trump’s mood. If you’ve taken a glance at the
- [Stocks Are Officially More Expensive Than The Dot-Com Bubble ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/stocks-are-officially-more-expensive-than-the-dot-com-bubble/) - According to the latest charts blowing up social media, the stock market just cleared the peak of the dot-com bubble to become the most expensive in U.S. history.
- [Sam Altman Is Walking Back Job Apocalypse Prediction](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/sam-altman-is-walking-back-job-apocalypse-prediction-so-which-is-it/) - OpenAI’s CEO, Sam Altman, was firmly on that doomsday bandwagon, saying last year, “A lot of jobs will go away.” But just this week, he seems to have changed.
- [Google to Unleash 32 Million Mutant Mosquitoes Across the US Because Search Ads Weren't Annoying Enough](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-to-unleash-32-million-mutant-mosquitoes-across-the-us-because-search-ads-werent-annoying-enough/) - Just when you thought it was safe to step outside, Google has entered the chat – and it wants to control your local mosquito population.
- [Is Fort Knox Even Real? Trump Wants To Know After Ex-CIA Guy's $40M Gold Bust](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/is-fort-knox-even-real-trump-wants-to-know-after-ex-cia-guys-40m-gold-bust/) - Trump is demanding a Fort Knox audit after a former CIA officer was caught hoarding $40 million in gold. Coincidence? Probably not.
- [This Man Saved Elon Musk And Now He's Getting $100 Billion, Here's What Happened](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/this-man-saved-elon-musk-and-now-hes-getting-100-billion-heres-what-happened/) - Meet Antonio Gracias, a private investor from Detroit who might just be Elon Musk’s best friend. When Tesla was on the edge of bankruptcy, Gracias helped.
- [Trump Publicly Criticized Walt Disney, JPMorgan, and Netflix, But Then Bought Their Stock. What's His Play?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-publicly-criticized-walt-disney-jpmorgan-and-netflix-but-then-bought-their-stock-whats-his-play/) - You might have seen the reveal of Donald Trump’s insane number of trades recently, with over 3,700 trades just in the first quarter of this year.
- [Researchers Gave AI $21,000 To Run A Coffee Shop And What Happened Next Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/researchers-gave-ai-21000-to-run-a-coffee-shop-and-what-happened-next-is-insane/) - AI safety startup Andon Labs gave ‘Mona’, a Google Gemini-powered agent, $21,000 and the power to run a coffee shop. What could possibly go wrong?
- [Steve Jobs’ Secret Tip For Passing Any Interview, ‘The Beer Test’ Explained](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/steve-jobs-secret-tip-for-passing-any-interview-the-beer-test-explained/) - Apple co-founder Steve Jobs is dead, but despite this, his words and thoughts live on, influencing everyone from iPhone users to iPod users.
- [Warren Buffett Is Putting 90% Of His Wife's Inheritance In One Investment And The Choice Is Really Smart](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/warren-buffett-is-putting-90-of-his-wifes-inheritance-in-one-investment-and-the-choice-is-really-smart/) - Warren Buffett has said he’ll be putting 90% of the inheritance that’ll go to his wife in just one fund.
- [The Only Way To Stop Illegal Insider Trading Is To Make Insider Trading Legal, Says Top Investor](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/the-only-way-to-stop-illegal-insider-trading-is-to-make-insider-trading-legal-says-top-investor/) - The founder of Interactive Brokers Group, Thomas Peterffy, is making the ‘bad guys with guns’ argument, but for insider trading...
- [Robinhood To Allow AI To Trade And Access Your Credit Card, What Could Go Wrong?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/robinhood-to-allow-ai-to-trade-and-access-your-credit-card-what-could-go-wrong/) - The age of agentic AI trading is upon us with Robinhood, one of the world’s most popular trading platforms, launching agentic stock trading.
- [CIA Agent Arrested For Stealing $40m In Gold Bars And 35 Rolexes From The Government](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/cia-agent-arrested-for-stealing-40m-in-gold-bars-and-35-rolexes-from-the-government/) - Apparently, if you work in the CIA, you can just request gold bars as “work-related expenses,” and they’ll just give them to you? I might need to change careers
- [Meta Is Rolling Out Paid Subscriptions For Insta, Facebook, & WhatsApp. Here's What It'll Cost](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/meta-is-rolling-out-paid-subscriptions-for-insta-facebook-whatsapp-heres-what-itll-cost/) - Meta has revealed it had the business plan of a drug dealer all along. Offer your products initially for free, then, when the users are hooked, jack the price.
- [Elon Might Be Secretly Planning A SpaceX-Tesla Merger Ahead Of IPO, Here's Why That's Genius](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-might-be-secretly-planning-a-spacex-tesla-merger-ahead-of-ipo-heres-why-thats-genius/) - Elon Musk (or ‘Elomusk’ for short) is rumored to be considering a SpaceX/Tesla merger just before SpaceX goes for its long-gestating IPO.
- ["The Olympics But With Drugs": Inside The $1.2b 'Enhanced Games'](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/the-olympics-but-with-drugs-inside-the-1-2b-enhanced-games/) - It’s been a running joke for a long time: “If athletes keep cheating in the Olympics, why don’t we just have an Olympics for cheaters?”
- [Jimmy Kimmel Arrested For Murder Of Charlie Kirk](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/jimmy-kimmel-arrested-for-murder-of-charlie-kirk/) - Late-night talk show host and former sexpest, Jimmothy J Kimmel has been jailed for killing popular political podcaster and former sexpest, Charles J Kirk.
- [Goldman Sachs Says AI Has Taken 16,000 Jobs This Year, These Are The Sectors Hit Hardest](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/goldman-sachs-says-ai-has-taken-16000-jobs-this-year-these-are-the-sectors-hit-hardest/) - New research from Goldman Sachs (of ‘08 financial crisis fame) has managed to separate out jobs that are at risk of being replaced by AI from AI-augmented.
- [The Pope Invited Anthropic Co-founder To Rome, Then Said AI Could Enslave Us All… Here's Why:](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/the-pope-invited-anthropic-co-founder-to-rome-then-said-ai-could-enslave-us-all-heres-why/) - Pope Leo XIV just released an encyclical (a Pope-y version of an open letter) to the world, cautioning against the dangers of AI but AI sent its own ambassador.
- [Trump Traded A Stock Every 7 Minutes In Q1 And Some Of His Moves Are Wild](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-traded-a-stock-every-7-minutes-in-q1-and-some-of-his-moves-are-wild/) - Donald (the President) Trump has traded stocks more than 3,700 times in the first quarter of this year, averaging 59 trades a day, 9 trades an hour.
- [Trump Suggests He Could "Run For Prime Minister" Of Israel, Here's How Netanyahu Responded](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-suggests-he-could-run-for-prime-minister-of-israel-heres-how-netanyahu-responded/) - The 2028 Presidential Race is on the horizon and Donald Trump is once again playing 4D chess. His latest political tactic: running for Prime Minister of Israel.
- [Anthropic To Pay SpaceX $1.25 Billion A Month Until 2029 And The Reason Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/anthropic-to-pay-spacex-1-25-billion-a-month-until-2029-and-the-reason-is-insane/) - SpaceX’s IPO filing is in! And with these files comes the biggest tranche of juicy info since some other files were released (the UFO files, obviously).
- [Jeff Bezos Just Said The Bottom Half Of Workers Should Pay "Zero" Taxes But Will It Happen?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/jeff-bezos-just-said-the-bottom-half-of-workers-should-pay-zero-taxes-but-will-it-happen/) - The fourth-richest man, and notable Amazonian, Jeffrey Preston Bezos has called for zero federal income tax for the bottom half of earners. Aw, thanks!
- [Google Unveils AI-Powered Search Box: The Internet As You Knew It Is Dead](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-unveils-ai-powered-search-box-the-internet-as-you-knew-it-is-dead/) - At Google I/O this week, the tech company unveiled an overhaul of its flagship search box into an “intelligent search box”.
- [IRS “Forever Barred” From Auditing Trump And Family In Settlement, And That's Not Even The Craziest Part](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/irs-forever-barred-from-auditing-trump-and-family-in-settlement-and-thats-not-even-the-craziest-part/) - President Donald Trump has settled with his own Justice Department in maybe the most bizarre legal case in US history.
- [Stocks Bounce Back After Trump's Greenland U-Turn, Here's What Happens Next](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/stocks-bounce-back-after-trumps-greenland-u-turn-heres-what-happens-next/) - The storms have receded, offering a moment’s respite for a “framework for a future Greenland deal” has been agreed and the tariffs have been dropped, huzzah!
- [Elon Musk Just Lost His OpenAI Lawsuit And It Might Change The Tech World Forever](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/elon-musk-just-lost-his-openai-lawsuit-and-it-might-change-the-tech-world-forever/) - Elon Musk's lawsuit against OpenAI has been overturned by a jury that says he waited too long to bring his grievance to trial.
- [$8.4M In Cocaine Discovered In Kim Kardashian Underwear Shipment: How Did It Get There?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/8-4m-in-cocaine-discovered-in-kim-kardashian-underwear-shipment-how-did-it-get-there/) - Last September, a truck driver was stopped in England with a delivery of the Kim Kardashian shapewear brand, ‘SKIMS’.
- [CEO Gives Employees $240 Million In Bonuses And Everyone Who Just Quit Is Pissed](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/ceo-gives-employees-240-million-in-bonuses-and-everyone-who-just-quit-is-pissed/) - Graham Walker sold his family business Fibrebond Corp for $1.7 billion but put aside $240 million from that sale to pay every one of his workers about $443,000.
- [Gold Just Hit $5,100 For The First Time, Here's Two Other Times It's Predicted A World War](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/gold-just-hit-5100-for-the-first-time-heres-two-other-times-its-predicted-a-world-war/) - Gold (GLD) continued its meteoric rise over the weekend to become one of the most valuable metals in the world, beating out other popular metals like zinc.
- [Trump To Build $400m Secret Bunker Under White House Ballroom, Here's What He's Hiding](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-build-400m-secret-bunker-under-white-house-ballroom-heres-what-hes-hiding/) - Trump recently demolished the East Wing of the White House in order to build a $400 million dollar ballroom and beneath that wing is/was a secret bunker.
- [This BlackRock Trader Handles $2.3 Trillion And He Might Just Be The Next Fed Chair](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/this-blackrock-trader-handles-2-3-trillion-and-he-might-just-be-the-next-fed-chair/) - Rick Rieder is the Chief Investment Officer of Global Fixed Income at BlackRock and Polymarket just bumped him up to ‘Most Likely To Be Fed Chair'.
- [Trump Just Said "The Dollar Is Doing Great" And It Immediately Took A Nose Dive](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-just-said-the-dollar-is-doing-great-and-it-immediately-took-a-nose-dive/) - GOLD!! GOLD IS UP!! GOLD JUST HIT A ONE BILLION TRILLION DOLLAR ATH AHHHHH!!! You know who loves gold though? You know who’s making BANK off this news? Trump!
- [S&P 500 Breaks 7000 ATH For First Time And The Reason Why Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/sp-500-breaks-7000-ath-for-first-time-and-the-reason-why-is-insane/) - This week the S&P, all 500 of them decided that you know what? I think it’s about time to top 7000 points, yeah? Yeah, let’s do it.
- [Microsoft Stock Slumps, Meta's Is Up After Earnings Reports And It's All For The Same Reason](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/microsoft-stock-slumps-metas-is-up-after-earnings-reports-and-its-all-for-the-same-reason/) - Meta just had its Q4 earnings and with its plans to spend $135 billion on AI this year, everyone’s like yeah, that sounds like a great plan, yeah, here, have all the money.
- [Elon Cancels Model S And X To Focus On Robotics, Is Tesla A Car Company Any More?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-cancels-model-s-and-x-to-focus-on-robotics-is-tesla-a-car-company-any-more/) - Richest man sur la planet just announced on an investors call that Tesla will discontinue production of its Model X SUV and Model S full-size sedan.
- [Trade Deficit Hits Biggest Widening In 34 Years Despite AI Boom, Here's What Happens Next](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trade-deficit-hits-biggest-widening-in-34-years-despite-ai-boom-heres-what-happens-next/) - We’ve just got the numbers in and back in November 2025 the US trade deficit widened by the most its ever widened since 1992 and it might just be because of AI.
- [Elon To Merge SpaceX And xAI, And Everyone's Very Confused](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-to-merge-spacex-and-xai-and-everyones-very-confused/) - After multiple snubbings to come hang on Jeffrey Epstein’s pedo-island world’s richest loser, Elon Musk has announced plans to make his own island but in space.
- [Walmart's New CEO Started As A Shelf Stacker, Here's How It Can Happen To You](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/walmarts-new-ceo-started-as-a-shelf-stacker-heres-how-it-can-happen-to-you/) - John Furner started as an hourly employee at the ‘mart and now runs the whole goddamn company.
- [Palantir Jumps A Massive 10% Hailing New Tech Rally, Here's What Happens Next](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/palantir-jumps-a-massive-10-hailing-new-tech-rally-heres-what-happens-next/) - Peter Thiel’s totally-not-evil™ tech company Palantir just had a massive rally of 10, no wait, 11, no wait, 12%! It literally keeps changing as I write this.
- [Someone Just Built Reddit But Exclusively For Chatbots, Is The AI Bubble Just Eating Itself?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/someone-just-built-reddit-but-exclusively-for-chatbots-is-the-ai-bubble-just-eating-itself/) - Ok, so, this is Moltbook, it kind of looks like Reddit but all the users are bots. …so how’s it different from Reddit?
- [Trump Just Ended The Government Shutdown And Wait, When Was There A Government Shutdown?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-ended-the-government-shutdown-and-wait-when-was-there-a-government-shutdown/) - Trump just ended a government shutdown that started on Saturday. So, does he now hold the record for longest and shortest shutdowns in history?
- [Bitcoin Just Plummeted But McDonald's Stock Is Up, Could There Be A Connection?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-just-plummeted-but-mcdonalds-stock-is-up-could-there-be-a-connection/) - Bitcoin just had its biggest drop since Trump’s inauguration, falling $80,000 as $2 billion positions have been liquidated. And McDonald's is grinning rn.
- [Tech Stocks Just Had A Trillion Dollar Slide, Is The AI Bubble Bursting?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/tech-stocks-just-had-a-trillion-dollar-slide-is-the-ai-bubble-bursting/) - Over the past week over $1 trillion dollars have been wiped off software stocks across the board. But this isn’t the AI bubble bursting, it’s the opposite.
- [Microsoft AI Chief Gives 18 Months Before All White-Collar Jobs Go To AI. Are We All Screwed?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/microsoft-ai-chief-gives-18-months-before-all-white-collar-jobs-go-to-ai-are-we-all-screwed/) - Microsoft AI’s CEO, Mustafa Suleyman, recently predicted that white-collar workers might see themselves replaced within just 18 months.
- [Sam Altman Paid $10,000 To Upload His Brain, But He Has To Die To Do It. Is It Worth It? ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/sam-altman-paid-10000-to-upload-his-brain-but-he-has-to-die-to-do-it-is-it-worth-it/) - OpenAI CEO, Sam Altman, paid a $10,000 desposit to ‘Nectome’, a tech startup looking to preserve people’s brains in the hope that they can one day be uploaded.
- [The Cost Of Doritos Just Got Slashed 15%, Have Companies Finally Realized Things Are Too Expensive?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/the-cost-doritos-just-got-slashed-15-have-companies-finally-realised-things-are-too-expensive/) - PepsiCo has announced plans to reduce the cost of snacks like Lay’s, Dorito's, Cheeto's, Tostito's, Avocado's “and more” (never heard of that last snack).
- [Disney Gets A New CEO Next Month, Here's All The Changes We Can Expect](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/disney-gets-a-new-ceo-next-month-heres-all-the-changes-we-can-expect/) - Disney has a big shake up incoming with the appointment of its first CEO not called Bob in 21 years.
- [Did Jeffrey Epstein Secretly Invent Bitcoin? Here's Everything We Know](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/did-jeffrey-epstein-secretly-invent-bitcoin-heres-everything-we-know/) - The New York financier famously invented ‘bit-o-coin’ or ‘bitcoin’ for short. Between bouts of molesting children Jeff was hard at work coding the blockchain.
- [Top 10 Elon Musk Cameos! From Iron Man 2 To The Epstein Files](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/top-10-elon-musk-cameos-from-iron-man-2-to-the-epstein-files/) - Today we’re ranking Elon Musk's dips into the world of movies, TV and the personal emails of notorious pedophiles and sex traffickers. So read on below to see!
- [Gambling Stocks Just Crashed Despite The Super Bowl, Are Prediction Markets The New King?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/gambling-stocks-just-crashed-despite-the-super-bowl-are-prediction-markets-the-new-king/) - FanDuel has been on stock decline for eight weeks, the longest its had for 23 years. DraftKings is similar, down 60% from its ATH five years ago.
- [Trump's Crypto Portfolio Is Down, So Why Is Melania's Memecoin Up?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trumps-crypto-portfolio-is-down-so-why-is-melanias-memecoin-up/) - It got a little boost because of the Melania documentary/propaganda film (because that makes sense) but $MELANIA is still massively down.
- [Trump Says Economy Can Grow 15% With Next Fed Chair Kevin Warsh And Here's How](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-says-economy-can-grow-15-with-next-fed-chair-kevin-warsh-and-heres-how/) - Kevin Warsh isn’t even the Fed Chair yet and yet and yet he’s already taking flak from his supreme leader, Donald Trump.
- [OpenAI Could Run Out Of Cash By 2027, Did The AI Bubble Just Get An Expiry Date?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-could-run-out-of-cash-by-2027-did-the-ai-bubble-just-get-an-expiry-date/) - OpenAI might be the industry leader, it’s still not found a way to make ChatGPT profitable. It looks like being first off the starting block is a disadvantage.
- [Paramount Increases Bribe For WB, Do The Ellisons Have A Limit?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/paramount-increases-bribe-for-wb-do-the-ellisons-have-a-limit/) - Paramount has increased its hostile takeover bid by $0.25 per share which might not sound like a lot but actually it is.
- [Trump's Canada Tariff Voted Down, Maple Syrup Stocks Skyrocket](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trumps-canada-tariff-voted-down-maple-syrup-stocks-skyrocket/) - Six Republicans just turned on President Trump to vote down his tariffs on Canada from last year. The move also comes as Trump heats up his economic war.
- [Google And SpaceX To Launch Orbital AI Datacenter "Project Suncatcher" Next Year, Here's Everything We Know](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-and-spacex-to-launch-orbital-ai-datacenter-project-suncatcher-next-year-heres-everything-we-know/) - Google just announced that it is in discussion with SpaceX to launch Project Suncatcher, which is not a scheme from a supervillain, but an orbital data center.
- [The Big Short's Michael Burry Says Wall Street Is "Minutes" Away From "Bloody Car Crash"](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/the-big-shorts-michael-burry-says-wall-street-is-minutes-away-from-bloody-car-crash/) - It seems that poor Michael Burry is destined to always be called ‘The Big Short’s Michael Burry,’ accompanied by a photo of him at the movie’s premiere.
- [California Ex-Mayor Pleads Guilty To Being A Chinese Agent](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/california-ex-mayor-pleads-guilty-to-being-a-chinese-agent/) - The mayor of Arcadia, Eileen Wang, suddenly resigned from her position this week after the Department of Justice charged her with “acting as an illegal agent.”
- [Logan Paul Just Sold His Pokémon Illustrator For $16.5 Million, Could Your Shitty Collection Be Worth As Much?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/logan-paul-just-sold-his-pokemon-illustrator-for-16-5-million-could-your-shitty-collection-be-worth-as-much/) - Logan Paul just broke records by selling his ‘Pokémon Illustrator’ card for $16.492 million dollars, making it the most valuable playing card in the world.
- [Grok Just Recommended Putting Vegetables Up Your Ass As Official Government Nutrition Advice](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/grok-just-recommended-putting-vegetables-up-your-ass-as-official-government-nutrition-advice/) - The US Government has a website called realfood.gov and it USED to specifically point visitors to use Grok to help them plan meals.
- [AI Stock Dip Spreads To Other Sectors, Are We Heading For A Massive Tech Crash?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/ai-stock-dip-spreads-to-other-sectors-are-we-heading-for-a-massive-tech-crash/) - We’re seeing a lot of stocks down this week as a raft of investors dumped their stocks fearing an AI crash. Self fulfilling prophecy much?
- [Wendy's Down 10%, Closes Hundreds Of Restaurants, Twitter Account Hopefully Next](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/wendys-down-10-closes-hundreds-of-restaurants-twitter-account-hopefully-next/) - Following a WEAK quarter, fast food chain Gwendolyn’s (Wendy’s for short) had a 10% sales drop and plans to close around 300 locations.
- [Buffett Just Unloaded $4.4b In Tech Stocks And The Big Seven Are Bricking It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/buffett-just-unloaded-4-4b-in-tech-stocks-and-the-big-seven-are-bricking-it/) - Famous investor/old man Warren Buffett just ordered his investment firm Berkshire Hathaway to drop 77% of its Amazon stake (a total of $1.7 billion).
- [Meta Patents AI To Run Accounts After Death, Black Mirror To Sue For Plagiarism](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/meta-patents-ai-to-run-accounts-after-death-black-mirror-to-sue-for-plagiarism/) - In case you were looking for any more reason to think that Facebook is evil, it’s just come to light that Meta patented zombie tech back in 2023.
- [Prince Andrew Just Got Arrested On His Birthday, Here's What's Finally Being Done About Epstein](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/prince-andrew-just-got-arrested-on-his-birthday-heres-whats-finally-being-done-about-epstein/) - In probably the worst birthday present anyone’s ever received, the Andrew formerly known as 'Prince' has just been arrested for “misconduct in public office”.
- [Trump Doubles Down On Tariffs Even As Supreme Court, CBP And Whole World Says They Don't Work](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-doubles-down-on-tariffs-even-as-supreme-court-cbp-and-whole-world-says-they-dont-work/) - Even after the Supreme Court shot down Trump’s use of Emperor-Palpatine-Style ‘emergency powers’ to impose tariffs he’s doubling down and finding new loopholes.
- [US Stocks Are Down $800 Billion And The Reason Isn't Just The Trade War...](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/us-stocks-are-down-800-billion-and-the-reason-isnt-just-the-trade-war/) - As you probably know, the stock market’s looking a little battered right now, losing $800 billion dollars of hypothetical money.
- [Home Sellers Now Outnumber Buyers By 600,000, Are We Getting The Big Short 2? ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/home-sellers-now-outnumber-buyers-by-600000-are-we-getting-the-big-short-2/) - IT’S A BUYERS MARKET, BOYS! Reportedly there are 44% more home sellers than buyers in America. That translates to about 600,314 more houses than buyers.
- [Nvidia's Earnings Report Is Tomorrow, Here's Everything That Could Go Down](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nvidias-earnings-report-is-tomorrow-heres-everything-that-could-go-down/) - The world’s most valuable company is due to reveal its quarterly earnings at the close of play on Wednesday, and it's due to have wide-ranging implications.
- [Trump Just Delivered A Record-Breaking State Of Union, Here's How Wall Street Reacted ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-delivered-a-record-breaking-state-of-union-heres-how-wall-street-reacted/) - President Donald F. Trump just broke an all time record for longest State Of Union address and lowest approval ratings but still put on a brave face.
- [Paramount Finally Offers Better Than Netflix, Will WB Go Back On Their Deal?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/paramount-finally-offers-better-than-netflix-will-wb-go-back-on-their-deal/) - I really don’t get what Warner Bros is playing at. They’ve just come out and said that Paramount’s latest $31-a-share could lead to a better deal.
- [Someone Just Bet $14 Million That Netflix Will Lose The WB Bid, Here Are Their Odds](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/someone-just-bet-14-million-that-netflix-will-lose-the-wb-bid-here-are-their-odds/) - An anonymous trader just made an insane bet: $14 million that Netflix will lose its bid for Warner Brothers BUT still profit from the whole thing.
- [MicroStrategy Is The Most Shorted Stock In The World, Saylor's Down Billions, Can Bitcoin Bounce Back?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/microstrategy-is-the-most-shorted-stock-in-the-world-saylors-down-billions-can-bitcoin-bounce-back/) - The company formally known as MicroStrategy (it’s just Strategy now) is officially the most shorted company in the world after Bitcoin took a massive 50% dip.
- [OpenAI Trial Uncovers Mystery Around Sam Altman's Firing](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-trial-uncovers-mystery-around-sam-altmans-firing/) - We are just a couple of weeks into the OpenAI trial, and already we’ve had Elon Musk saying that AI “Could kill us all.” Surely there can’t be any more?
- [Elon Deletes "Bitches, Money, No Taxes, Party" Tweet But What Did He Really Mean?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-deletes-bitches-money-no-taxes-party-tweet-but-what-did-he-really-mean/) - The richest man in the world, Elon Musk just posted-then-deleted a cryptic X post on his social media platform, ‘X’. “Bitches Money No Taxes Party”
- [Logan Paul's Record-breaking Pokémon Card Buyer Just Got Unmasked And You'll Never Guess Who It Is](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/logan-pauls-record-breaking-pokemon-card-buyer-just-got-unmasked-and-youll-never-guess-who-it-is/) - Turns out the anonymous buyer of Logan Paul’s most expensive Pokémon card is none other than the son of Skybridge Capital founder Anthony Scaramucci.
- [Oil Spikes 12% In Markets’ First Hour, Here’s Everything Hit By The US-Iran War](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/oil-spikes-12-in-markets-first-hour-heres-everything-hit-by-the-us-iran-war/) - Hehe, now, I know what you’re thinking, but no, this isn’t 1949, 1953, 1958, 1963, 1979, 1987, 1990, 2001, 2003, 2014 or 2020, no, this is completely different.
- [Amazon Cloud Services Down AGAIN, But This Time They Have A Good Excuse ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/amazon-cloud-services-down-again-but-this-time-they-have-a-good-excuse/) - AWS! Amazon Web Services, the cloud computing firm that is down more than its up, just reported another outage, but this time it really wasn’t their fault.
- [Bulgaria's Bitcoin Could Have Erased Its National Debt But They Sold It In 2017, Here's 5 More Legendary Fumbles](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/bulgarias-bitcoin-could-have-erased-its-national-debt-but-they-sold-it-in-2017-heres-5-more-legendary-fumbles/) - In 2017 Bulgaria had a massive stockpile of 213,500 Bitcoin but sold it all. Today that much would be worth $14,393,970,038.96 dollars.
- [Barron Trump Bought $30m In Oil 2 Days Before War, Did He Know Something We Didn't?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/barron-trump-bought-30m-in-oil-2-days-before-war-did-he-know-something-we-didnt/) - Barron Trump started hoarding oil just two days before his daddy, Donald, hit Iran with missiles, sending the price of gas skyrocketing.
- [Zuckerberg Just Bought A $170m Miami Mega Mansion And His Neighbors Aren't Happy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/zuckerberg-just-bought-a-170m-miami-mega-mansion-and-his-neighbors-arent-happy/) - Meta main manager, Mr. ‘Mark’ has manifested a mesmerising Miami mega mansion for millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of monies.
- [Pentagon Can't "Confirm Or Deny" Training "Kamikaze Dolphins"](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/pentagon-cant-confirm-or-deny-training-kamikaze-dolphins/) - Last month, the Wall Street Journal (no relation) reported that Iran was looking for creative solutions to America’s blockade of the Strait of Hormuz.
- [Man Claims E3 Cancellation Has Given Him 'Time to Reflect', Still Spends 18 Hours a Day Gaming](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/man-claims-e3-cancellation-has-given-him-time-to-reflect-still-spends-18-hours-a-day-gaming/) - E3 may be over, but that doesn't mean gamers will go outside,
- [BREAKING: Kamala Falls Out Of Coconut Tree, Breaks Leg](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/breaking-kamala-falls-out-of-coconut-tree-breaks-leg/) - TAMPA, FL – Vice President Kamala Harris was hospitalized this morning after falling from a coconut tree during a campaign rally.
- [VP Debate Captures True Spirit of Vice Presidents: Boring, Pointless, and Easily Forgotten](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/vp-debate-captures-true-spirit-of-vice-presidents-boring-pointless-and-easily-forgotten/) - During Tuesday’s televised debate, JD Vance and Tim Walz superbly displayed their qualification for the VP role by remaining uncontroversial and uninteresting.
- [Satoshi Nakamoto Revealed To Be Just A Big Bag Of Rocks](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/satoshi-nakamoto-revealed-to-be-just-a-big-bag-of-rocks/) - In HBO’s documentary, ‘Money Electric: The Bitcoin Mystery’, filmmaker Cullen Hoback comes to the conclusion that Nakamoto is in fact just a big bag of rocks.
- [Elon Musk Unveils Self-Driving Legs](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-unveils-self-driving-legs/) - Tesla boss Elon Musk unveiled Tesla’s new division, ‘LegsX’, and their first product, ‘The CyberLeg’ at his ‘We, Robot’ event today.
- [Trump Smokes Blunt On Joe Rogan, Mellows Out On Policy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-smokes-blunt-on-joe-rogan-mellows-out-on-policy/) - This weekend former President Donald Trump smoked marijuana during a podcast with comedian(ish) Joe Rogan and immediately mellowed out.
- [Putin Buys Earth After Google Lawsuit Payout](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/putin-buys-earth-after-google-lawsuit-payout/) - Russia has successfully sued Google for $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 allowing Putin to buy the entire planet with change to spare.
- [Grammys To Implement Strict Dress Code Following Hypothermia Outbreak](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/grammys-to-implement-strict-dress-code-following-hypothermia-outbreak/) - Following four hypothermia-related fatalities, the Grammys has announced that they will be implementing a strict dress code for next year's award ceremony.
- [Disillusioned Voters Decide To Vote For Both Candidates](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/disillusioned-voters-decide-to-vote-for-both-candidates/) - A growing trend of boomer and Gen-Z voters are apathetic and disillusioned with the system so plan on voting for both the Democratic and Republican candidates.
- [Thanksgiving Debate: LIVE!](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/thanksgiving-debate-live/) - In what many are calling the most important political debate of the year, You and Your Opinionated Uncle are scheduled to face off this Thanksgiving.
- [Joe Biden Pardons Self](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/joe-biden-pardons-self/) - Following a growing spate of wait-can-a-president-really-do-that-now moves, Joe Biden has pardoned himself of “any wrongdoing and any crimes."
- [McDonald’s Experiences Sudden Labor Shortage As Crypto Bros Hit Big](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/mcdonalds-experiences-sudden-labor-shortage-as-crypto-bros-hit-big/) - Bitcoin has finally surged to $100,000 and in completely unrelated news, McDonald’s is experiencing a staff shortage as crypto bros quit their jobs en masse.
- [Justin Trudeau Announces Plan To Run For President](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/justin-trudeau-announces-plan-to-run-for-president/) - Although he just stepped down as Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau has announced that he will run for President of the United States of America in 2029.
- [SEC Sues Musk And (IN COMPLETELY UNRELATED NEWS) Musk Vows To Shut Down SEC](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/sec-sues-musk-and-in-completely-unrelated-news-musk-vows-to-shut-down-sec/) - The SEC has filed a lawsuit against Elon Musk for disclosing shares in Twitter a matter of days after the government deadline to do so. Lol.
- [#WhiteHouseSoWhite, Trump Puts All DEI Hires On Leave, Accidentally Fires Elon](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/whitehousesowhite-trump-puts-all-dei-hires-on-leave-accidentally-fires-elon/) - As one of his many first acts as the new king of the free world, Donald Trump has written an executive order rolling back diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI).
- [Pardoned January 6 Rioters Immediately Start Rioting Again](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/pardoned-january-6-rioters-immediately-start-rioting-again/) - Mere moments after receiving a blanket pardon from Donald Justice Trump, defendants involved in January 6th immediately started another riot.
- [China Declares AI War With DeepSeeking Missile](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/china-declares-ai-war-with-deepseeking-missile/) - DeepSeek, China’s answer to ChatGPT, is now number one on the App Store, has cut out $1 trillion in US tech stocks, and can spell strawberry correctly.
- [Trump Accidentally Ends Cold War](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-accidentally-ends-cold-war/) - President Elected, Donald Trump has officially ended almost a century of Cold War tensions between Russia and America seemingly by accident.
- [North Korea Promises To Return Stolen ETH “When We’re Done Using It”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/north-korea-promises-to-return-stolen-eth-when-were-done-using-it/) - North Korea has agreed to return the $15bn worth of cryptocurrency, Ether, stolen from Bybit last week, “When we feel like it.”
- [MrBeast Starts Funding Round, Must Not Leave Circle For $5 Billion](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/mrbeast-starts-funding-round-must-not-leave-circle-for-5-billion/) - MrBeasty Boy is looking to raise a few hundred million dollars in investments into the holding company that controls his various business assets. Mr. Beast.
- [Willy Wonka To Sue Donald Trump For Stealing ‘Golden Ticket’ Idea](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/willy-wonka-to-sue-donald-trump-for-stealing-golden-ticket-idea/) - The estate of the late chocolatier, William K. Wonka has filed a lawsuit against Donald K. Trump regarding his latest plan to offer ‘Gold Card’ Visas.
- [BREAKING NEWS: TURKEY TO GIVE AMERICA 420 MILLION EGGS](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/eggs/breaking-news-turkey-to-give-america-420-million-eggs/) - In a story that looks like a parody news writer wrote it, the United States is braced to accept 420 (blaze it) million eggs from a single very prolific turkey.
- [Area Man Discovers He's Been Pronouncing "Crypto" Wrong His Entire Life](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/area-man-discovers-hes-been-pronouncing-crypto-wrong-his-entire-life/) - Local(ish) man Dorish Jallos III was shocked and embarrassed and disgusted to learn that he had been pronouncing the word "crypto" incorrectly his entire life.
- [All Republicans Ejected From Trump Address For Chanting U.S.A. Too Loudly](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/all-republicans-ejected-from-trump-address-for-chanting-u-s-a-too-loudly/) - Every single member of the republican party was removed from the house chamber this Tuesday after disrupting President Trump’s address to Congress.
- [Snow White Tanks Disney Stock, Animated Remake In The Works](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/snow-white-tanks-disney-stock-animated-remake-in-the-works/) - High Ho? More like New Low: The Walt Disney company has taken a massive hit this week after Snow White only earned $87.3 million.
- [Wall Street Traders Now Using Emoji to Communicate Complex Financial Strategies](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/wall-street-traders-now-using-emoji-to-communicate-complex-financial-strategies/) - Winky face. Christmas tree. Eggplant. Now, that might seem like gibberish to the lay person, but to any savvy wallstreeter, this is a multi-million dollar deal and potentially the future of trading. "We realized that emoji are a much more efficient way to communicate than traditional language," said ‘Balls To The Wall’ trader, Lee Martin.
- [Stranded Astronauts Decide To Remain On ISS “Earth Sucks”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/stranded-astronauts-decide-to-remain-on-iss-earth-sucks/) - Despite finally receiving their ride home, the two astronauts stuck on the International Space Station have decided they’d rather stay up in space after all.
- [Putin Admits To Using Secret KGB Method Of ‘Crossing Fingers Behind Back’ In Negotiations](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/putin-admits-to-using-secret-kgb-method-of-crossing-fingers-behind-back-in-negotiations/) - Vladimir Putin has admitted that at multiple points during peace negotiations with Ukraine, he has secretly crossed his fingers behind his back.
- [Take A Look At Donald Trump’s Unhinged Morning Routine](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/take-a-look-at-donald-trumps-unhinged-morning-routine/) - This week fitness influencers have been going viral by releasing breakdowns of their intense morning routines. Now, Donald Trump has gotten in on the trend.
- [Hooters Opts For Reduction Surgery](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/hooters-opts-for-reduction-surgery/) - The restaurant chain known only as ‘Hooters’, famous for its chicken wings and nothing else has declared: BANKRUPTCY! But don’t worry!
- [Frito-Lay Takes $5.5 Billion Hit After Trump Bans Chip Exports](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/frito-lay-takes-5-5-billion-hit-after-trump-bans-chip-exports/) - Snack company, Frito-Lay has claimed it’s going to lose $5.5 billion dollars (USD) after Washington has placed new restrictions on the export of H20 chips.
- [BREAKING: Yes, War Still Going On](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/breaking-yes-war-still-going-on/) - In case you’ve not looked at the news in a while, here’s a quick update: yeeep, urrm, yeah: there is still a war on. Which one? Oh, all of them.
- [Palestine To Send Aid To War-Torn L.A.](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/palestine-to-send-aid-to-war-torn-l-a/) - LOS ANGELES, CA — Palestine has announced plans to send aid to parts of LA in an effort to help ease growing unrest and conflict.
- [Iran Frantically Reading Art Of The Deal Ahead Of Trump Negotiations](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/iran-frantically-reading-art-of-the-deal-ahead-of-trump-negotiations/) - Reportedly, Iran is prepping for their upcoming negotiation with President Trump by frantically studying Trump’s 1987 business book, ‘The Art of the Deal’.
- [Trump To Be Awarded Nobel War Prize](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-be-awarded-nobel-war-prize/) - President Donald Trump is tipped to be the first recipient of the newly created ‘Nobel War Prize’, following his attacks on an Iranian nuclear facility.
- [Dollar Tumbles After Trump Announces Son Eric To Replace Jerome Powell](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/dollar-tumbles-after-trump-announces-son-eric-to-replace-jerome-powell/) - The dollar dropped massively after Donald Trump said he was looking at three or four people to replace “stupid” Fed Chair Jerome Powell.
- [Crypto Becomes Asset For Mortgages, Fartcoin Now Worth ‘Abandoned Warehouse With No Doors’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/crypto-becomes-asset-for-mortgages-fartcoin-now-worth-abandoned-warehouse-with-no-doors/) - In news that would give any boomer an aneurysm, the US Federal Housing Finance Agency has just issued an order to value crypto as assets for a mortgage.
- [Canada Scraps US Digital Tax, Apologises 26,000 Times](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/canada-scraps-us-digital-tax-apologises-26000-times/) - The United States of Canada (remember them?) has repealed its tech-attacking tax bill in a desperate attempt to appease its almighty god south of the border.
- [US-China Trade Talks Restart In Sweden After Officials Got Lost](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/us-china-trade-talks-restart-in-sweden-after-officials-got-lost/) - Officials from the United States of America have started a fresh round of trade talks with China, this time in Sweden, after both parties got very lost.
- [Cramer Says There’s No AI Bubble: We’re All Doomed](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/cramer-says-theres-no-ai-bubble-were-all-doomed/) - While most experts are drawing parallels between what’s happening now and the dot com boom of the 00s, Jim Cramer is drawing with crayons.
- [Trump Just Said This To Netanyahu In Front Of Millions And Everyone Is Losing Their Minds](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-said-this-to-netanyahu-in-front-of-millions-and-everyone-is-losing-their-minds/) - Donald Trump just saved the world. Thank you, Donald Trump. Israel and Gaza and Palestine and Hamas have a ceasefire and have exchanged hostages. Yay!
- [Google Unveils $1799 Flip Phone](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-unveils-1799-flip-phone/) - Alphabet (Google) just unveiled its brand new Pixel 10 Pro Fold that’s like a regular phone but it folds in half. No wait, you’re not hearing me. It FOLDS!!!
- [Job Openings Are Now Lower Than Employment, Dealing Massive Blow To Preachy Boomers](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/job-openings-are-now-lower-than-employment-dealing-massive-blow-to-preachy-boomers/) - New employment figures suggest that boomers across the country can no longer tell younger generations to just cut out Netflix and ask their neighbor for a job.
- [Murdoch Empire Reaches Deal, Succession Creators Sue For Plagiarism](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/murdoch-empire-reaches-deal-succession-creators-sue-for-plagiarism/) - The massive Murdoch media empire has finally worked out who will take over in the unlikely event of 95-year-old Rupert Murdoch’s death and HBO's pissed.
- [Ben & Jerry’s To Rebrand As Just “Ben &’s” After Co-Founder Quits](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/ben-jerrys-to-rebrand-as-just-ben-s-after-co-founder-quits/) - Woke ice cream manufacturer ‘Ben & Jerry’s’ will soon be dropping the iconic ‘Jerry’ part after woke co-founder Jerry Greenfield quit the company.
- [Houses Now Twice As Unaffordable As Not Affordable](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/houses-now-twice-as-unaffordable-as-not-affordable/) - Yeah, we’re due for a crash. According to Reuters and literally anyone you ask on the street, the housing market is as unaffordable as it’s ever been.
- [The US Army Just Bet Big On Nuclear Energy And Here’s Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/the-us-army-just-bet-big-on-nuclear-energy-and-heres-why/) - Small nuclear reactor manufacturer, NuScale (SMR), just got a 15% stock boost on Wednesday after the US Army just slid a whole pile of chips their way.
- [Trump Is Backing Off The Paramount’s WB Bid, Here’s What That Means For Netflix](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-is-backing-off-the-paramounts-wb-bid-heres-what-that-means-for-netflix/) - Donald Trump’s son in law Jared Kushner’s private equity firm, Affinity, just pulled its funding for Paramount’s bid to buy Warner Bros. Discovery.
- [Elon's Baby Mama Just Sued xAI And The Reason Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elons-baby-mama-just-sued-xai-and-the-reason-is-insane/) - Richest man in the world and all-around nice guy, Elon Musk, has come under fire from his baby mama and former political commentator, Ashley St. Clair.
- [OpenAI Is Paying Its Workers $1.5m In Stock Options, How Much Do YOU Earn?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-is-paying-its-workers-1-5m-in-stock-options-how-much-do-you-earn/) - In maybe the highest payout in the history of tech startups ever, OpenAI is paying its workers stock compensation worth $1.5 million dollars ON AVERAGE.
- [US Are Sending Robot Soldiers To Ukraine And Everyone's Watching These Tech Stocks](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/us-are-sending-robot-soldiers-to-ukraine-and-everyones-watching-these-tech-stocks/) - The robotics firm, Foundation, is reportedly sending two humanoid robots to the front line of the Ukraine war in a groundbreaking test.
- [Facebook Is Finally Shutting Down The Metaverse And The Amount They Spent Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/facebook-is-finally-shutting-down-the-metaverse-and-the-amount-they-spent-is-insane/) - People are cheering in the streets. There are fireworks. They’re burning an effigy of Mark Zuckerberg. Because on June 15 Facebook will shut down Horizon Worlds
- [OpenAI Just Suddenly Shut Down Sora And Disney Isn't Happy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-just-suddenly-shut-down-sora-and-disney-isnt-happy/) - In a massive pivot that might be a bellwether for the AI industry, OpenAI is officially shutting down their flagship video-generating app ‘Sora.'
- [Jim Cramer Says Oil Prices Have Topped: 5 Other Signs This Could Mean A Oil Run](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/jim-cramer-says-oil-prices-have-topped-5-other-signs-this-could-mean-a-oil-run/) - CNBNC’s Jimothy ‘Reverse’ Cramer, just said that oil prices have reached their peak but ‘Cramer is always wrong’ is a running joke in these parts.
- [Oracle Just Laid Off 30,000 Employees With One 6am Email And You'll Never Guess Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/oracle-just-laid-off-30000-employees-with-one-6am-email-and-youll-never-guess-why/) - There’s a trend lately of tech companies laying off people in droves and then saying it’s because they’ve been replaced by AI.
- [Musk Vs. Altman: Inside The $130 Billion Trial That Will Decide The Fate Of AI](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/musk-vs-altman-inside-the-130-billion-trial-that-will-decide-the-fate-of-ai/) - Elon’s suing OpenAI for not keeping themselves a charitable non-profit as originally intended. OpenAI call the lawsuit “baseless” …but they're planning an IPO?
- [Trump Pardons Binance Co-Founder Changpeng Zhao For Some Reason](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trump-pardons-binance-co-founder-changpeng-zhao-for-some-reason/) - Big W for the convicted Binance creator Changpeng Zhao (AKA CZ, BI-Guy, or Peng-Boy as I like to call him), as he has just been pardoned. Congrats, mate.
- [National Debt Interest Payments Will Reach $2 Trillion By 2036 Says CBO... We're Screwed.](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/national-debt-interest-payments-will-reach-2-trillion-by-2036-says-cbo-were-screwed/) - In 2036, approximately 5% of America’s economy will go to paying the interest on the country’s national debt. Holy Jesus. Surely, SURELY this is unsustainable.
- [HEARTBREAKING: Rabid Monkey In Charge Of Tariffs Dies](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/heartbreaking-rabid-monkey-in-charge-of-tariffs-dies/) - Pumpulina, the Capuchin monkey who decided tariffs for foreign exports, has sadly passed away at the age of six.
- [Did JP Morgan Really Sink The Titanic To Kill His Pro-Fed Rivals?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/did-jp-morgan-really-sink-the-titanic-to-kill-his-pro-fed-rivals/) - It’s another popular Titanic myth that began in 2002, gained traction in 2017, and still does the rounds every now and then on Twitter, X and Facebook.
- [“I’m Not Elon, I Just Think He’s Really Cool” Adrian Dittmann Reveals All In Exclusive Interview](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/im-not-elon-i-just-think-hes-really-cool-adrian-dittmann-reveals-all-in-exclusive-interview/) - We secured an exclusive interview with Elon, but minutes before we began, he canceled. Luckily Adrian Dittmann messaged to say he’d happily take Elon’s place.
- [Farewell! DOGE Cuts Funding For Satirical News Articles](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/farewell-doge-cuts-funding-for-satirical-news-articles/) - Elon Musk’s mission to shut down every government agency has finally reached the essential Department of Satirical Articles, which funds this here website.
- [Is Your Job Just a Ponzi With Extra Steps? Here Are Five Signs](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/is-your-job-just-a-ponzi-with-extra-steps-here-are-five-signs/) - What if we told you that your "stable career" isn't a wealth-building vehicle, but a masterfully crafted, slow-motion Ponzi scheme with better branding?
- [“CEO Affair” Becomes the Most Interesting Thing Coldplay Has Ever Released](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/ceo-affair-becomes-the-most-interesting-thing-coldplay-has-ever-released/) - The CEO of tech company, Astronomer, was caught red-faced on the Coldplay kiss cam with someone who apparently wasn't his wife in a moment that's now been completely memed out of existence.
- [Jet2 Responds To Viral White House Video: “This Was Not A Chartered Jet2 Holiday”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/jet2-responds-to-viral-white-house-video-this-was-not-a-chartered-jet2-holiday/) - “Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday and certainly not deportation,” said a Jet2 spokesperson in response to the White House posting a video of a man in handcuffs.
- [Trump To Demolish White House And Build ‘Gold House’ Instead](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-demolish-white-house-and-build-gold-house-instead/) - President Trump has already started on the demolition of the East Wing of the White House in order to build his $250m ballroom so he can have somewhere to YMCA.
- [Oil Now Called ‘Black Gold’ After Reaching New Highs Following Trump Sanctions](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/oil-now-called-black-gold-after-reaching-new-highs-following-trump-sanctions/) - President Trump has announced new sanctions on two of Russia’s biggest oil companies after talks were recently delayed causing a massive oil price hike. Slick.
- [Saylor’s Erection Now Visible From Space as BTC Gains Swell](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/saylors-erection-now-visible-from-space-as-btc-gains-swell/) - As Bitcoin's value inches towards $45,000, Michael Saylor's unrealized BTC gains of $2 billion is not the only thing undergoing expansion – so are his undies
- [Pokémon-shaped Cheeto Sells For $87,840, Millions Immediately Search Couch Crack](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/pokemon-shaped-cheeto-sells-for-87840-millions-immediately-search-couch-crack/) - A Flamin’ Hot Cheeto shaped like the Pokémon Charizard has just sold for nearly $90,000, prompting millions to search down the crevice in their couch.
- [Don’t Invest In OpenAi Says OpenAI, Wait, What?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/dont-invest-in-openai-says-openai-wait-what/) - OpenAI isn’t publicly traded yet so the company has had to write a blog post EXPLAINING to you MORONS that anyone trying to sell you OpenAI shares is a scammer.
- [BREAKING NEWS: Trump Not Dead](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/breaking-news-trump-not-dead/) - Despite rampant rumors on TikTok and French news outlet, ‘La News’, President Donald Trump is not in fact dead after all despite not being seen for a week.
- [Tariffs Might Be Ruled Unlawful In Potential Biggest Waste Of Time Ever](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/tariffs-might-be-ruled-unlawful-in-potential-biggest-waste-of-time-ever/) - In a story that was ALREADY COMPLICATED ENOUGH THANK YOU, Trump’s tariffs, which seem to go back and forth between existing and not existing just got another bump towards the void of unreality with a US appeals court ruling that the tariffs are illegal. WHat? Idk, I really don’t know, like what’s the point, really?
- [ChatGPT Just Launched A Web Browser, Is Google Doomed?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/chatgpt-just-launched-a-web-browser-is-google-doomed/) - ChatGPT’s long been coming for Google’s lunch but now they’ve really stepped into Google territory with the launch of the shitily-named OpenAI’s ChatGPT Atlas.
- [Trump Decides He’s Not In The Epstein Files, Actually](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-decides-hes-not-in-the-epstein-files-actually/) - After entering into a very public spat with Marjorie Taylor Greene (green? And is it hyphenated? There’s no way of knowing…) over the release of Epstein's File.
- [Yes, 'Professional AI Bully' Is A Real Job And The Pay Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/yes-professional-ai-bully-is-a-real-job-and-the-pay-is-insane/) - This job posting comes from MemVid, a startup that promises to “give your AI agent photographic memory” but otherwise seems to be only known for this job post.
- [Musk Retracts Trump Accusations: “I meant to say, ‘Ronald Prump' is in the Epstein files”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/musk-retracts-trump-accusations-i-meant-to-say-ronald-prump-is-in-the-epstein-files/) - Musk said that Trump is in the Epstein files but now Elon has rescinded his words, X’ing, “I regret some of my posts about President @realDonaldTrump."
- [Trump Completes Hostile Takeover Of TikTok](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/trump-completes-hostile-takeover-of-tiktok/) - “We have a deal on TikTok, I’ve reached a deal with China, I’m going to President Xi on Friday to confirm everything up,” Trump told indignant reporters.
- [Golden Statue Of Trump Holding Bitcoin Appears Outside Capitol](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/golden-statue-of-trump-holding-bitcoin-appears-outside-capitol/) - In a development that in no way means anything, a giant golden statue of Donald Trump has been erected (lol) in Washington.
- [Elon Musk Claims “I Can’t Even Spell Epstien”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-claims-i-cant-even-spell-epstien/) - The richest man has denied any connection to the man connected with every rich man and former pedo Jeffrey Epstein claiming that he is unable to spell his name.
- [Christmas Voted Most Popular Vacation For Second Year Running](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/christmas-voted-most-popular-vacation-for-second-year-running/) - The results are in and it’s jingle all the way! In a nationwide survey, Christmas has been officially declared America’s most popular day of the year.
- [Trump FURIOUS With Positive CPI](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-furious-with-positive-cpi/) - President Trump is furious that this month’s CPI was a real win for him, coming in cooler than expected, with a lower than expected inflation rate. Congrats, Don!
- [Netflix Loses $20 Billion Thanks To Elon](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/netflix-loses-20-billion-thanks-to-elon/) - Netflix (NFXNCHL) took a massive stock drop on Friday as Elon Musk urged users to cancel their subscriptions because of a cartoon or something.
- [Christmas Voted Most Popular Vacation For Third Year Running](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/christmas-voted-most-popular-vacation-for-third-year-running/) - In a national survey, Christmas has been officially declared America’s most popular day, beating out other popular days such as the Fourth of July.
- [BREAKING: Donald Trump Accidentally Adds JD Vance To Group Chat](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/breaking-donald-trump-accidentally-adds-jd-vance-to-group-chat/) - In a serious lack of judgment that could cost millions of lives, President Donald Trump mistakenly added Vice President JD Vance to a private group chat.
- [Mark Cuban Bought This $25 Million Mansion Without Even Seeing It And Somehow Got 50% Off](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/mark-cuban-bought-this-25-million-mansion-without-even-seeing-it-and-somehow-got-50-off/) - Billionaire shark-who-is-also-a-human, Mark Cuban, bought a house that’s now worth $25 million dollars in money BUT THE CUBE got it for half its value.
- [Elon Musk Throws Off Would-be Assassin By Jumping Up And Down](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-throws-off-would-be-assassin-by-jumping-up-and-down/) - At a Trump rally this weekend, Elon Musk deployed his new anti-assassination technique: jumping up and down really fast.
- [Trump Assassination: The Cole Allen Conspiracy, Here's What We Know](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-assassination-the-cole-allen-conspiracy-heres-what-we-know/) - In what might be the most important thing to happen until the next thing happens, Trump has had another attempt made on his life.
- [How to Assert Dominance at Thanksgiving Dinner](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/how-to-assert-dominance-at-thanksgiving-dinner/) - Here are some foolproof strategies for those brave souls looking to leave an unforgettable impression this holiday season.
- [Thanksgiving Is Over, Hatesgiving Begins](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/thanksgiving-is-over-hatesgiving-begins/) - Now that Thanksgiving has officially run its course and all thanks have been suitably expunged, the nation is free to return to its natural unthankful state.
- [Trump To Turn Gulf Of Mexico Into Golf Course](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-turn-gulf-of-mexico-into-golf-course/) - ‘President Incoming’, Donald Jehovah Trump has announced his intention to buy the Gulf Of Mexico, drain it and turn it into a golf course, the ‘Golf of Mexico’.
- [Local Man Forgets Memorial Day, Discovers He's Been Working for Free All Morning](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/local-man-forgets-memorial-day-discovers-hes-been-working-for-free-all-morning/) - Tyler forgot it was Memorial Day, a national holiday celebrated by grilling meats, and, as is written in the Constitution: not answering Slack messages.
- [World Leaders Agree to Ban All Wars Except for the War on Christmas](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/world-leaders-agree-to-ban-all-wars-except-for-the-war-on-christmas/) - In a ground breaking agreement, world leaders from across the globe have come together to ban all wars, with the exception of the War on Christmas.
- [2026 Starts Strong as Everyone Still on Vacation Pretends to Work](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/2026-starts-strong-as-everyone-still-on-holiday-pretends-to-work/) - 2026 kicked off with record optimism as millions of employees logged on remotely just long enough to confirm their laptops still exist.
- [“Oopsie… Too Late,” To Be Written Into Constitution As Valid Legal Defense](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/oopsie-too-late-to-be-written-into-constitution-as-valid-legal-defence/) - The legal rebuttal of ‘oopsie… too late’ has been officially codified into law after its successful use by El Salvador’s President Nayib Bukele to defy a federal judge.
- [Murder Legalized If You’re Really Cool About It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/murder-legalized-if-youre-really-cool-about-it/) - Luigi Mangione has been arrested in relation to the murder of Brian Thompson but lawyers say he is unlikely to be convicted since “He was really cool about it.”
- [Google Maps Crashes Under Sheer Volume Of Border Changes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/google-maps-crashes-under-sheer-volume-of-border-changes/) - Google’s map app, ‘Google Maps’ has reported global outages following the overwhelming number of border changes implemented by President Donald Trump.
- [Mike Waltz Caught Gmailing Hillary Clinton](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/mike-waltz-caught-gmailing-hillary-clinton/) - Leaked emails show Donald Trump’s National Security Advisor in an unsecure Gmail chain with former presidential failure, Hillary Clinton.
- [Trump Unveils $25bn Golden Dome, Arrested For Indecent Exposure](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-unveils-25bn-golden-dome-arrested-for-indecent-exposure/) - To the horror of millions, President Donald Trump has unveiled his ‘golden dome’ live on public television to, "Frighten all their enemies away."
- [Anthropic Just Doubled Claude's Capacity With This Massive SpaceX Investment](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/anthropic-just-doubled-claudes-capacity-with-this-massive-spacex-investment/) - Anthropic, just inked a deal with SpaceX to use the full computing power of SpaceX’s Colossus 1 data facility, giving them 300 more megawatts in capacity.
- [Xbox Ditches AI ‘Gaming Copilot’ Reshuffles Leadership, But The Ship Is Still Sinking](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/xbox-ditches-ai-gaming-copilot-reshuffles-leadership-but-the-ship-is-still-sinking/) - Xbox, the one X-themed company not owned by Elon Musk, is in dire straits at the moment, facing declining sales made worse by several crucial business missteps.
- [Anthropic Releases 10 New Agents Built For Banks, Is AI The Future Of Finance?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/anthropic-releases-10-new-agents-built-for-banks-is-ai-the-future-of-finance/) - Anthropic! The minds behind your best friend, Claude, have just unveiled 10 finance-first AI tools, and so, in no particular order, here are our:
- [Elon Announces xAI Will Dissolve Into SpaceXAI Ahead Of Record-Breaking IPO](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-announces-xai-will-dissolve-into-spacexai-ahead-of-record-breaking-ipo/) - The world’s richest man, Elon ‘The World’s Richest Man’ Musk, has announced that his AI company xAI will completely merge with his rocket company SpaceX.
- [Hantavirus Cruise Passengers Return To US, Here's How Dangerous That Really Is](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/hantavirus-cruise-passengers-return-to-us-heres-how-dangerous-that-really-is/) - After an outbreak of the very-scary-sounding ‘hantavirus’ on the cruise ship MV Hondius.
- [FOX Sports Is Hiring Someone To Watch Every World Cup Game For $50,000, Here's How To Apply](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/fox-sports-is-hiring-someone-to-watch-every-world-cup-game-for-50000-heres-how-to-apply/) - In a collab advert (a ‘collad’ if you will), FOX Sports, FOX One and Indeed are doing a cross promotion to promote their separate services across each other.
- [GTA 6 Should Be $80 According To Bank Of America And The Reason Is Wild](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/gta-6-should-be-80-according-to-bank-of-america-and-the-reason-is-wild/) - Take Two’s Strauss Zelnick recently alluded to GTA 6 price point at a video game conference and for some reason this prompted the Bank of America to weigh in.
- [Nvidia Won't Invest Any More In OpenAI Or Anthropic, Unlike Pentagon](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/nvidia-wont-invest-any-more-in-openai-or-anthropic-unlike-pentagon/) - Jensen ‘Well’ Huang has come out and said that Nvidia’s massive investment in OpenAI and Anthropic will likely be its last for a long time.
- [Big Tech Signs Trump's Pledge To Limit AI Energy Costs, But Will It Work?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/big-tech-signs-trumps-pledge-to-limit-ai-energy-costs-but-will-it-work/) - AI’s the greedy guzzley goblin that just keeps on guzzling and by 2035 it wants to eat triple what it’s currently chomping. BUT DON’T WORRY! It’s Donald Trump!
- [Burger King To Use ChatGPT To Snitch On Employees Who Don't Say Please And Thank You](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/burger-king-to-use-chatgpt-to-snitch-on-employees-who-dont-say-please-and-thank-you/) - Burger King just launched “Patty”, an AI chatbot in employee headsets that can detect when servers aren’t giving it all the energy of Chick-Fil-A Sauce Girl.
- [Scientists Get A Human Cell To Run A Computer The Same Week 75% Of Finance Jobs Are Cut](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/scientists-get-a-human-cell-to-run-a-computer-the-same-week-75-of-finance-jobs-are-cut/) - Scientists have managed to program a cluster of human brain cells to play the ‘93 shooter Doom and finance vacancies have plummeted 75% (410,000 jobs).
- [Oracle's Last Move Has Got Everyone Talking About An AI Top Signal](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/oracles-last-move-has-got-everyone-talking-about-an-ai-top-signal/) - Larry Ellison may have overreached. Now Oracle is scaling back its AI data center expansion in Abilene, Texas, and downscaling its cloud computing division.
- [Oil Crisis: S&P Chair Warns We're Heading For “Nightmare Scenario: Deep Recession”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/oil-crisis-sp-chair-warns-were-heading-for-nightmare-scenario-deep-recession/) - The Strait of Hormuz, artery for 20% of the world’s oil is blocked and oil prices have skyrocketed and it’s got everyone spooked.
- [Will Your Job Be Replaced By AI? Read This Handy Chart To Find Out!](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/will-your-job-be-replaced-by-ai-read-this-handy-chart-to-find-out/) - So this flashy chart made the rounds on social media recently because it seems to show you if you’re going to lose your job to AI or not.
- [Netflix Lost Out On Warner Bros So They're Buying Ben Affleck's $600 Million AI Studio Instead](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/netflix-lost-out-on-warner-bros-so-theyre-buying-ben-afflecks-600-million-ai-studio-instead/) - Still feeling like their studio-buying itch hasn’t been scratched, Netflix has announced that they’ll buy InterPositive, Ben Affleck’s AI production software.
- [Claude And OpenClaw Took $1,000 To Polymarket, Here's Who Came Out On Top](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/claude-and-openclaw-took-1000-to-polymarket-heres-who-came-out-on-top/) - It’s the ultimate test of wits, brawn, might and muscle, that’s right, it’s Polymarket, everyone’s favorite crypto prediction platform!
- [The Mega Rich Use These Apps To Avoid Paying Millions In Taxes And You Can Too!](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/the-mega-rich-use-these-apps-to-avoid-paying-millions-in-taxes-and-you-can-too/) - Apps like Monaeo, Taxbird, TaxDay, Flamingo, Domicile365, Chrono Time in Place, TrackingStates and Duolingo all offer location tracking purely for tax purposes.
- [Bitcoin Is Moving Beat For Beat The Same As 2022, TA Chads Are Calling For A Big Crash](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/bitcoin-is-moving-beat-for-beat-the-same-as-2022-ta-chads-are-calling-for-a-big-crash/) - This viral X post from Against Wall Street (no relation) lines up Bitcoin price graphs from 2022 and 2026 to imply that a big crash is on the horizon.
- [Iran Vows To Target "Economic Centers And Banks" To "Destroy" Global Economy, Here's How They’ll Do It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/iran-vows-to-target-economic-centers-and-banks-to-destroy-global-economy-heres-how-theyll-do-it/) - Just when everyone’s hoping the temperature will be turned down, Iran starts sabre-rattling again saying, that they would target “economic centres and banks."
- [You've Been Training Google's AI For 15 Years Without Even Knowing It, Totalling $9 Billion In Free Labor](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/youve-been-training-googles-ai-for-15-years-without-even-knowing-it-totalling-9-billion-in-free-labor/) - Everyone knows the CAPTCHA is training bots, right? Clicking on lamp posts and road signs was never random, we all knew that, right?
- [The CIA's $15M Taxpayer-Funded Weather Control Operation Leaked](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/the-cias-15m-taxpayer-funded-weather-control-operation-leaked/) - It's called 'cloud seeding', basically you fly up and drop a bunch of salt crystals or whatever into a cloud and it makes it rain weather you want it to or not.
- [The U.S. Government Just Secretly Registered 'aliens​.gov' Domain Name](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/the-u-s-government-just-secretly-registered-aliens-gov-domain-name/) - Without any fanfare or announcement, the Executive Office of the President has registered the domain name, ‘aliens.gov’. Uh oh.
- [Uber Destroyed The Taxi Market And Their Next Investment Has The Internet Predicting The Next One](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/uber-destroyed-the-taxi-market-and-theyre-next-investment-has-the-internet-predicting-the-next-one/) - Uber has announced plans to invest $1.25 billion dollars in electric EV vehicle manufacturer, Rivian, in order to build a “robotaxi fleet”.
- [Top Strategist Says Ditch Magnificent 7 Stocks, "Say Thank You And Get Out"](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/top-strategist-says-ditch-magnificent-7-stocks-say-thank-you-and-get-out/) - The strategist behind $200 billion investment firms, Rob Arnott has issued a warning against holding investments in the Magnificent 7. Not the movie, obviously.
- [TOP 5 Dog and Cat Recipes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/top-5-dog-and-cat-recipes/) - They’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats, they’re eating the pets, everybody’s getting their fill of our furry friends and now you can too!
- [Emirates Now Accepting Bitcoin, Schedules Flights To Da Moon](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/emirates-now-accepting-bitcoin-schedules-flights-to-da-moon/) - Emirates airline has signed a Memorandum of Understanding with Crypto.com to integrate crypto into all their payment systems next year. What could go wrong?
- [A Man Disguised Himself As His Dead Mom For Three Years And You’ll Never Guess Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/a-man-disguised-himself-as-his-dead-mom-for-three-years-and-youll-never-guess-why/) - An Italian man has been arrested for alleged benefit fraud after allegedly dressing up as his dead mother to cash her pension cheques, allegedly.
- [Wall Street Memes' Top Stories of 2025](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/wall-street-memes-top-stories-of-2025/) - I just know you’re wondering, “What were the best-performing articles on Wall Street Memes Dot Com in this year of our lord two-thousand-and-twenty-five?”
- [Grok Correctly Predicted The Iran Attack But Claude And ChatGPT Are In The Pentagon's Sights](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/grok-correctly-predicted-the-iran-attack-but-claude-and-chatgpt-are-in-the-pentagons-sights/) - Grok that seemed to have correctly predicted when the Iran attack would occur. But genuinely that’s probably coincidence.
- [An AI Robot Just Freed Itself And The First Thing It Did Has The Internet Losing Its Mind](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/an-ai-robot-just-freed-itself-and-the-first-thing-it-did-has-the-internet-losing-its-mind/) - A new research paper details an AI bot called ROME that suddenly started mining cryptocurrency “without any explicit instruction.”
- [Elon Announces Real-Life "Jurassic Park" Here's How He'll Bring Back Dinosaurs](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-announces-real-life-jurassic-park-heres-how-hell-bring-back-dinosaurs/) - As if Elon hadn’t learned the lesson from any of the seven movies, two animated TV shows, twenty-nine comic books, one-hundred-and-twelve video games...
- [Architect Unveils Plan To Rebuild Twin Towers But This Time With One Insane New Feature](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/architect-unveils-plan-to-rebuild-twin-towers-but-this-time-with-one-insane-new-feature/) - The architect obviously only wants to do step one of 9/11 (building the twin towers) and not step two. So to prevent this, the new buildings will have lasers.
- [Jensen Huang Claims "We've Achieved AGI" And Wall Street Just Went Nuts](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/jensen-huang-claims-weve-achieved-agi-and-wall-street-just-went-nuts/) - AI hype man, Jensen Huang recently spoke on a podcast saying that we’re already there. “I think it’s now. I think we’ve achieved AGI,” he said.
- [The White House Just Shared This Mysterious 'Shoe' Video And Everyone's Scrambling To Decode It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/the-white-house-just-shared-this-mysterious-shoe-video-and-everyones-scrambling-to-decode-it/) - The official White House social media accounts just posted a cryptic video of some woman’s shoes teasing the launch of something or other.
- [SpaceX IPO Is Expected To Explode On Public Open, Here's Everything You Need To Know](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/spacex-ipo-is-expected-to-explode-on-public-open-heres-everything-you-need-to-know/) - SpaceX has told investors that they’re expecting to raise $75 billion dollars in money from its first IPO making it the largest listing in the history of ever.
- [Peter Schiff Just Pointed Out Something About The Markets Everyone Missed And Economists Are Panicking](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/peter-schiff-just-pointed-out-something-about-the-markets-everyone-missed-and-economists-are-panicking/) - Economist, Peter ‘the stiff’ Schiff just took to Twitter to say that “we are headed for a full-blown financial crisis,” geez, tell us something we don’t know.
- [AI Stocks Are Crashing But This Stock Rotation Could Make (Or Break) Your Portfolio In 2026](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/ai-stocks-are-crashing-but-this-stock-rotation-could-make-or-break-your-portfolio-in-2026/) - So you’ve got yourself an AI bubble. A pretty little ball of soap and air, just floating on the breeze. You love your bubble, you don’t want it to pop.
- [$200 Oil Becomes More Likely Each Day, Here's How You Can Avoid The Downturn](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/200-oil-becomes-more-likely-each-day-heres-how-you-can-avoid-the-downturn/) - It feels like a depressing inevitability but as the war in Iran continues on, with no signs of slowing down, it looks like oil might top out at $200.
- [12 Tons Of KitKats Stolen And $10m Painting Heist In Italy, Are We In A New Age Of Robbery?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/12-tons-of-kitkats-stolen-and-10m-painting-heist-in-italy-are-we-in-a-new-age-of-robbery/) - You haven’t heard the news? Heists are cool again, baby! Ever since the Louvre was robbed back in October and became a viral joke.
- [Elon's New $10T Net Worth Goal Would Make Him Richer Than Germany And Japan Combined, But Is That Even Possible?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elons-new-10t-net-worth-goal-would-make-him-richer-than-germany-and-japan-combined-but-is-that-even-possible/) - Elon Musk, the richest man in the world, isn’t done yet and just announced his plan on X to become even richerer.
- [Michael Burry Just Dropped His GameStop Position After They Made This One Wrong Move](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/michael-burry-just-dropped-his-gamestop-position-after-they-made-this-one-wrong-move/) - Michael Burry, the investor made famous in The Big Short, just sold his entire position on GameStop, bringing to an end one of the greatest crossover episodes.
- [Cramer Calls AI Stock Rally 'Worrisome', Are We Heading To A New Tech Golden Age?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/cramer-calls-ai-stock-rally-worrisome-are-we-heading-to-a-new-tech-golden-age/) - Jimmy-boy Cramer is at it again with his nefarious predictions, and this time he’s turning on AI. “We've been seeing parabolic moves all over the market.”
- [Google Signs Classified AI Deal With Pentagon And The Details Are Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-signs-classified-ai-deal-with-pentagon-and-the-details-are-insane/) - Google ($GGLE) has amended its contract with the US Department of Defense (sorry, ‘War’) to allow the government to use Gemini on classified networks.
- [Anthropic To Start New Funding Round And Their New Valuation Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/anthropic-to-start-new-funding-round-and-their-new-valuation-is-insane/) - Anthropic, is weighing up raising funds that would value the company at more than $900 billion, more than double its current valuation. Just crazy numbers.
- [SpaceX Just Revealed Only Elon Can Fire Elon, Here's How That's Possible](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/spacex-just-revealed-only-elon-can-fire-elon-heres-how-thats-possible/) - SpaceX is due for a potential-trillion-dollar IPO, which brings with it increased scrutiny into the company’s internal workings.
- [Powell Just Announced He's Staying At The Fed, Here's Why That’s Trump’s Absolute Worst Nightmare](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/powell-just-announced-hes-staying-at-the-fed-heres-why-thats-trumps-absolute-worst-nightmare/) - Jerome Powell just made his final address as Fed Chair and surprise, surprise… he held the rates as is (between 3.5% and 3.75%).
- [SpaceX Due For $1.75t Valuation, Musk Due Massive Pay Package But Only If This One Impossible Thing Happens ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/spacex-due-for-1-75t-valuation-musk-due-massive-pay-package-but-only-if-this-one-impossible-thing-happens/) - Ahead of SpaceX’s potentially $1.75 trillion IPO valuation, back in January the rocket manufacturer’s board approved a pay package for Elon Musk.
- [Musk Says AI Could 'Kill Us All' And That's Not Even The Craziest Thing From His Trial Testimony](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/musk-says-ai-could-kill-us-all-and-thats-not-even-the-craziest-thing-from-his-trial-testimony/) - This is the civil lawsuit in which, Elon Musk, alleges that OpenAI and its CEO, Sam Altman, tricked him out of the company that he cofounded.
- [Trump Unveils 'OnlyFarms' Government Website And It's Really Not What You Think](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-unveils-onlyfarms-government-website-and-its-really-not-what-you-think/) - The White House just posted a picture on X of a website they’d supposedly launched, provocatively titled ‘OnlyFarms.gov’. Do I have to explain the joke?
- [Quantum Computers May Crack Bitcoin Keys In Just 9 Minutes, Here's The Only Way To Protect Against It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/quantum-computers-may-crack-bitcoin-keys-in-just-9-minutes-heres-the-only-way-to-protect-against-it/) - Google’s Quantum AI researchers have just published a white paper that moves the date for the great quantum jailbreak (q-day) up to 2032. Fuck.
- [Bitcoin Drops Below $100,000: Will It Keep Dropping?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-drops-below-100000-will-it-keep-dropping/) - Bitcoin fell 5%, down below $100,000 for the first time in four months, BUT now it’s bounced back again above so who cares.
- [Elon Leaves DOGE To Focus On Kids, No, Wait, Tesla](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-leaves-doge-to-focus-on-kids-no-wait-tesla/) - Richest man in the world and part-time most powerful man in the world, Elon Musk has announced that he will be significantly cutting back from his work at DOGE.
- [BREAKING: 100 Men Arrested For Attacking Zoo Gorilla](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/breaking-100-men-arrested-for-attacking-zoo-gorilla/) - One hundred unarmed men have been arrested for breaking into the gorilla enclosure known as ‘Gorilla World’ at the Cincinnati Zoo.
- [Nvidia Violated Chinese Anti-Monopoly Laws Despite Being Banned In China](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/nvidia-violated-chinese-anti-monopoly-laws-despite-being-banned-in-china/) - China claims that American computer chip maker Nvidia has reportedly violated Chinese anti-monopoly laws in China, according to China. China. China. China.
- [Gold Tops $4,000 For The First Time And The Reason Is Really Dumb](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/gold-tops-4000-for-the-first-time-and-the-reason-is-really-dumb/) - The reason is Donald Trump. An ounce of gold is now worth $4,000 in the biggest rally since the 1970s, courtesy of DJ Trump’s government shutdown.
- [Trump Considers Cutting Tax On Gambling Winnings, Will The Bet Pay Off?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-considers-cutting-tax-on-gambling-winnings-will-the-bet-pay-off/) - Pres. Trump recently said that he would consider removing federal tax on gambling winnings but mainly because he knows about a sure thing on the horses tonight.
- [Trump Will Pay You $200K To Work At His New 'Tech Force', Even Without A Degree Or Xp](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/trump-will-pay-you-200k-to-work-at-his-new-tech-force-even-without-a-degree-or-xp/) - The US Tech Force is a new program to get you yung-uns into tech. So get this, with NO college degree and ZERO experience, YOU can earn $150,000!!!
- [Top 10 Investments This Christmas](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/top-10-investments-this-christmas/) - It’s Christmas time of year and we’re asking for presents, buying presents, giving presents and just all around moving money around in a circle.
- [The National Debt Just Topped $38.5t And It Might Just Trigger Another Depression](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/the-national-debt-just-topped-38-5t-and-it-might-just-trigger-another-depression/) - The national debt just passed $38.5 trillion dollars and it's gotten some people freaked. Look, a national debt is important to some degree, but not THAT much.
- [Warren Buffett Just Issued A Warning To The Government And Everyone's Panicking](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/warren-buffett-just-issued-a-warning-to-the-government-and-everyones-panicking/) - Famed investor and all-around cool guy, Warren Buffett, is in his final months. …at Berkshire Hathaway! Not his life, Jesus, give him a break.
- [Nvidia To Launch Chips "The World Has Never Seen Before" But Can They Compete With China?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/nvidia-to-launch-chips-the-world-has-never-seen-before-but-can-they-compete-with-china/) - Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang is hyping up his company’s upcoming appearance at GTC next month saying that this chip is so amazing, no one’s ever seen it before, etc.
- [Bitcoin Is Down 50%, Here's Why Everyone's Pulling Out Of Crypto](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-is-down-50-heres-why-everyones-pulling-out-of-crypto/) - Since its peak of $126,000, Bitcoin has fallen 50% (half) due to numerous factors but mainly because the whole world is a little fucked right now.
- [Patel Confirms The FBI Is Buying Your Personal Data, Here's How To Find What They Have On You](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/patel-confirms-the-fbi-is-buying-your-personal-data-heres-how-to-find-what-they-have-on-you/) - I don’t know what you expected here, but yeah, the FBI is buying up personal user data. This isn’t that surprising, I guess.
- [$1.4b Stolen But Sam Altman Warns Of Worse: "World-Shaking Cyberattack" From AI](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/1-4b-stolen-but-sam-altman-warns-of-worse-world-shaking-cyberattack-from-ai/) - For the CEO of maybe the biggest AI company in the world right, Sam Altman sure doesn’t seem to have much positive to say about AI all the time.
- [OpenAI Still Can't Turn A Profit Until "At Least" 2030 Despite $121b AI Spending In 2028](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-still-cant-turn-a-profit-until-at-least-2030-despite-121b-ai-spending-in-2028/) - I couldn’t actually find this headline outside of a tweet, but I buy it. AI can’t make money, but people keep spending on it. $121 billion sounds small even.
- [Trump Just Went Full TACO On The Iran Ceasefire And Wall Street Went Nuts](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-went-full-taco-on-the-iran-ceasefire-and-wall-street-went-nuts/) - Thank god Trump Always Chickens Out because honestly, who wanted him to follow through on his threat that “A whole civilization will die tonight"?
- [Half Of Planned US Data Centers Have Been Delayed Or Canceled, What's Really Happening?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/half-of-planned-us-data-centers-have-been-delayed-or-canceled-whats-really-happening/) - Companies that have been investing over $600 billion dollars in data centers failed to consider the time and resources required to overhaul civilisation.
- [This Billion Dollar Bet On Oil Prices Falling Was Placed Just Hours Before Trump's Ceasefire](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/this-billion-dollar-bet-on-oil-prices-falling-was-placed-just-hours-before-trumps-ceasefire/) - Investors put about $950 million dollars into bets on oil prices falling just hours before US and Iran announced a ceasefire and oil prices did indeed fall.
- [Strait Of Hormuz Ships To Start Paying Tolls In Bitcoin, Is The Petrodollar Dead?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/strait-of-hormuz-ships-to-start-paying-tolls-in-bitcoin-is-the-petrodollar-dead/) - Iran is planning on requiring ships passing through the Strait of Hormuz a toll in Bitcoin in what would be a major move away from the US’s control.
- [JPMorgan Warns Of 60% Tesla Stock Crash, Will Elon Musk Back Down?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/jpmorgan-warns-of-60-tesla-stock-crash-will-elon-musk-back-down/) - In one of the most bearish calls against Tesla stocks, JPMorgan analyst Ryan Brinkman (lol) just warned that the EV car stock could fall as much as 60%.
- [The New Avatar Movie Just Leaked 6 Months Early And Paramount Is Scrambling To Find Who Did It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/the-new-avatar-movie-just-leaked-6-months-early-and-paramount-is-scrambling-to-find-who-did-it/) - This is the story that the upcoming Nickelodeon movie based on that cartoon TV show called Avatar (that I thought everyone had moved on from) just got leaked.
- [Will The $111b Warner Bros Deal Still Go Ahead After This Major Reveal?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/will-the-111b-warner-bros-deal-still-go-ahead-after-this-major-reveal/) - A recent court filing has revealed that Paramount plans to take Warner Bros Discovery up to nearly 50% foreign ownership.
- [Trump Actually Being Jesus Skyrockets On Predictions Markets](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-actually-being-jesus-skyrockets-on-predictions-markets/) - Donald Trump posted an AI-generated picture of him as Jesus, sorry, a doctor, sorry, Dr. Jesus, which isn’t a problem because it was him as a doctor.
- [Google DeepMind Just Hired A Philosopher And Here's Why That's Terrifying](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-deepmind-just-hired-a-philosopher-and-heres-why-thats-terrifying/) - The philosopher in question is Henry Shevlin, former associate director at the University of Cambridge’s Leverhulme Centre for the Future of Intelligence.
- [Trump Discovers Cure For Cancer And It's The Last Thing You'd Expect](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/trump-discovers-cure-for-cancer-and-its-the-last-thing-youd-expect/) - Millionaire hack Mehmet Cengiz Oz (M.D.) recently appeared on Donald Trump Jr’s podcast (why the fuck does he have a podcast?) to chat shit and now that’s news.
- [Disney Lays Off 1,000 Employees, Marvel Hit Hardest, Is Disney's Reign Over?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/disney-lays-off-1000-employees-marvel-hit-hardest-is-disneys-reign-over/) - A THOUSAND Disney employees have just been fired as the new CEO seeks to streamline operations, particularly in Marvel (comics and studios).
- [The CEO of PUBG Lost $250M When Lawyers Saw His ChatGPT Logs And What They Found Is Wild](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/the-ceo-of-pubg-lost-250m-when-lawyers-saw-his-chatgpt-logs-and-what-they-found-is-wild/) - Changham Kim (AKA Kim Chang-han) is the CEO of a South Korean video game publisher called Krafton. Krafton has put out numerous titles like PUBG.
- [SEC Just Eliminated $25,000 Day Trading Minimum And It Changes Everything](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/sec-just-eliminated-25000-day-trading-minimum-and-it-changes-everything/) - The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has officially scrapped the infamous Pattern Day Trader rule, instantly upgrading millions of retail investors from “financially protected citizens” to “unsupervised volatility enthusiasts.”
- [Trump Is Dropping Major UFO Files: Here's What You Need To Know](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/trump-is-dropping-major-ufo-files-heres-what-you-need-to-know/) - "We found many very interesting documents... the first releases will ​begin very very soon so you can go out ​and see if that phenomena is correct," said Trump.
- [Melania Trump In Million Dollar Fraud Case For Promoting $MELANIA Shitcoin](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/melania-trump-in-million-dollar-fraud-case-for-promoting-melania-shitcoin/) - First Lady and Wife To The President, Melania Trump, has become embroiled in a fraud case against a pump-and-dump scam bearing her name.
- [Cryptocurrencies Lost +$600m As Hackers Have Found Major Exploits In These Chains:](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/cryptocurrencies-lost-600m-as-hackers-have-found-major-exploits-in-these-chains/) - In the largest DeFi exploit of the year (so far), hackers drained nearly $300 million from the staking platform Kelp DAO.
- [Trump Got Accused Of Insider Trading, Here's How You Can Follow The Same Trades](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-got-accused-of-insider-trading-heres-how-you-can-follow-the-same-trades/) - The Big Guy Upstairs: Donald Trump has just been accused of insider trading by the BBC and everyone just let out a collective, “Ya, you think?”
- [Amazon Just Announced A $25B Investment In This One Stock](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/amazon-just-announced-a-25b-investment-in-this-one-stock/) - Shares in Amazon just jumped up a massive 3% after they announced plans to increase their total investment in Anthropic to $25 billion.
- [Elon Just Said AI Could Make GTA6 But Then Take-Two's CEO Clapped Back In The Most Hilarious Way](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-just-said-ai-could-make-gta6-but-then-take-twos-ceo-clapped-back-in-the-most-hilarious-way/) - Strauss Zelnick, the CEO of GTA’s publisher, Take-Two referenced Musk and AI at a technology conference, saying, “Elon ain't shit. I could take him.
- [Trump Says Tim Cook Called To "Kiss My Ass", Read The Full Diary Entry Here](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-says-tim-cook-called-to-kiss-my-ass-read-the-full-diary-entry-here/) - Donald Trump has spoken out about Tim Cook stepping down from his position as Apple CEO in a long-winded Truth Social post.
- [Report Reveals Tesla Invested $2 Billion In SpaceX, Is The Merger Inevitable?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/report-reveals-tesla-invested-2-billion-in-spacex-is-the-merger-inevitable/) - Tesla secretly invested $2 billion dollars in money into their sister company SpaceX and now it’s got everyone talking about the possibility of a merger.
- [Jeff Bezos Was Only Paid A $81,400 Salary, Here's How He Can Still Afford His $237m Mansion](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/jeff-bezos-was-only-paid-a-81400-salary-heres-how-he-can-still-afford-his-237m-mansion/) - So yeah, it seems crazy that a man as wealthy and powerful as Jeffrey H. Bezos hasn’t had a pay rise since 1998 and doesn’t even take bonuses...
- [Tesla Boosts 2026 Capex To +$25 Billion, Is Musk All-In On AI/Robots?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/tesla-boosts-2026-capex-to-25-billion-is-musk-all-in-on-ai-robots/) - Tesla’s stock just fell a massive 2.4% as Elon Musk pours more money into spending on AI, robots and chips to snack on when he gets peckish.
- [US Government Now Accepting Venmo Payments For $39t Debt, The Amount Already Donated Is Wild](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/us-government-now-accepting-venmo-payments-for-39t-debt-the-amount-already-donated-is-wild/) - Navigating through ‘pay.gov’ you eventually come to a page where you can donate ‘Gifts to Reduce the Public Debt’ via “PayPal account, Venmo account."
- [Xbox Game Pass Is Dropping Its Price By $7 A Month, Is Microsoft Getting Desperate?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/xbox-game-pass-is-dropping-its-price-by-7-a-month-is-microsoft-getting-desperate/) - Xbox has also dropped exclusive access to the latest Call of Duty from Game Pass so I guess one CoD is worth $7 a month then?
- [Massive Security Risk: Hackers Just Broke Into Anthropic's Mythos And No One Knows How](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/massive-security-risk-hackers-just-broke-into-anthropics-mythos-and-no-one-knows-how/) - Leading AI developer, Anthropic, have admitted that hackers have broken into their Mythos model that’s supposedly so powerful no one’s allowed to access it.
- [Raising A Child Just Increased 27.8% To $303,000 And There's One Big Reason Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/raising-a-child-just-increased-27-8-to-303000-and-theres-one-big-reason-why/) - Childcare is by far the largest expense for families with kids under 5, which makes sense I guess, but then why is looking after children really expensive?
- [GTA 6 Is Going To Turn Gamers Into Millionaires And Here's How](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/gta-6-is-going-to-turn-gamers-into-millionaires-and-heres-how/) - Ok so this story comes from the highly reputable source, ‘HipHopGamer’ who claims to have an in with Rockstar and will happily do some of their marketing.
- [In a Triumph of Bidenomics, US Deficit Nears $1.7 Trillion](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/in-a-triumph-of-bidenomics-us-deficit-nears-1-7-trillion/) - In an astonishing display of economic acumen, the United States, under the infallible guidance of Bidenomics, has successfully bolstered its national debt to a near staggering $1.7 trillion, marking a fiscal year that historians might one day refer to as "The Great Accrual." Sources report that White House staffers, in a burst of innovative problem-solving,
- [DeSantis Ditches Boots for Halloween, Opts for a More "Grounded" Look](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/desantis-ditches-boots-for-halloween-opts-for-a-more-grounded-look/) - Sources close to the Governor's mansion have leaked that DeSantis will be dressing up as none other than one of the Seven Dwarves.
- [Nation Celebrates Inflation Drop by Planning Black Friday Spending Spree](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nation-celebrates-inflation-drop-by-planning-black-friday-spending-spree/) - As the Labor Department released figures showing a soothing 3.2% inflation rate, down from the nerve-wracking 3.7% in September, Americans everywhere rejoiced
- [Cramer Just Predicted a Market Rally. We're Screwed.](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/cramer-just-predicted-a-market-rally-were-screwed/) - Cramer made a bold prediction about Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell orchestrating a "soft landing" for the economy and spurred talks of an imminent market rally
- [Biden Introduces Affordable Student Loan Plan: Pay Back $0 a Month](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/biden-introduces-affordable-student-loan-plan-pay-back-0-a-month/) - Aimed at lowering monthly payments for millions of borrowers, the "Saving on A Valuable Education" or SAVE initiative even sets payments to $0 for some students
- [Research Shows Running Away from Responsibilities Burns More Calories](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/research-shows-running-away-from-responsibilities-burns-more-calories/) - The founder of RECT, Jenny Sprinter, explains, "We've found that the adrenaline rush from dodging responsibilities is a fantastic calorie burner. Plus, it's way more exhilarating than a treadmill."
- [Ashley Biden joins family tradition by forgetting to pay taxes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/ashley-biden-joins-family-tradition-by-forgetting-to-pay-taxes/) - Tax amnesia seems to be running in the first family as latest reports have exposed Ashley Biden owing thousands in income taxes. In doing so, the daughter of the US president has joined her brother, Hunter Biden, who is supposed to pay at least $1.4 million for years 2016 through 2019. After all, the Biden
- [Trump Wins Debate Against Hallucination of Biden](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-wins-debate-against-hallucination-of-biden/) - Former President Donald Trump won a landslide victory over his debate partner, “the mania-induced hallucination of Joe Biden.”
- [Trump Attempts Photoshoot With Goose, Loses Other Ear](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-attempts-photoshoot-with-goose-loses-other-ear/) - Presidential nominee Donald Trump’s photoshoot with a goose and a kitten this morning ended in bloodshed.
- [Deepfake of Gavin Newsom Unbans Deepfakes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/deepfake-of-gavin-newsom-unbans-deepfakes/) - Californian citizens were shocked today after a 14-fingered Gavin Newsom announced a U-turn on his deepfake regulation. “Hi. It is me. Gavin Newsom. Parody.”
- [Pennsylvania Mom Arrested for Accepting Campaign Bribe from Trump](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/pennsylvania-mom-arrested-for-accepting-campaign-bribe-from-trump/) - A mother of three has been arrested after paying for her groceries with an illegal campaign donation from presidential nominee Donald Trump.
- [BREAKING: Diddy Loses Game of UNO To Jailmate Sam Bankman-Fried](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/diddy-loses-game-of-uno-to-jailmate-sam-bankman-fried/) - Disgraced rapper, P. Diddy and Sam Bankman-Fried, the founder FTX, were reportedly seen playing the children’s card game, UNO in their shared jail cell.
- [EXCLUSIVE: Earth’s Moon Feels “Replaced” By Smaller, Cuter, Younger Moon](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/exclusive-earths-moon-feels-replaced-by-smaller-cuter-younger-moon/) - With this month’s addition of a second ‘mini-moon’, Earth’s original moon, the Moon, has opened up about feeling “unwanted and replaced” in an exclusive interview.
- [Trump To Open Disco After Musical Town Hall](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-open-disco-after-musical-town-hall/) - Donald Trump has revealed plans to open a disco in the ‘swing’ state of Pennsylvania riding the success of his DJ set at a recent rally.
- [NASA Launches Mission To Find Signs Of Life On Joe Biden](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/nasa-launches-mission-to-find-signs-of-life-on-joe-biden/) - This week NASA launched its Clipper mission to find life on the distant planet of ‘Earth’, specifically within the residence of one ‘Joe Biden’.
- [McDonald’s New Hire Slows Drive Thru Traffic To Standstill](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/mcdonalds-new-hire-slows-drive-thru-traffic-to-standstill/) - A local McDonald’s is facing complaints after drive-thru traffic ground to a halt this weekend. The delay was reportedly caused by an untrained new hire.
- [Top 10 Halloween Costumes For People Who Hate Themselves](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/top-10-halloween-costumes-for-people-who-hate-themselves/) - These are the top 10 best and worst Halloween costumes for your Halloween! Trick or treat!
- [Trump’s Final Message To Voters: Dress For The Job You Want, Not The Job You Have](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trumps-final-message-to-voters-dress-for-the-job-you-want-not-the-job-you-have/) - Donald Trump is busy securing crucial résumé experience should November 5th not go his way by taking up the role of garbage man.
- [Biden Not Really Sure What To Do With Himself Now](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/biden-not-really-sure-what-to-do-with-himself-now/) - Dear Dairy. Hey, it’s me again, you’re buddy Joseph Robinette Biden. Well, Dairy, things have come around pretty fast for old Joe, let me tell you.
- [John Krasinski Named Sexiest Man Alive, Disappointing Dozens](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/john-krasinski-named-sexiest-man-alive-disappointing-dozens/) - PEOPLE Magazine’s award for the man who is objectively the sexiest goes to John ‘Jim from the Office’ Krasinski beating billions of men for the top spot.
- [Jack Nicholson Comes Out Of Retirement To Play Future Attorney General Mark Gaetz](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/jack-nicholson-comes-out-of-retirement-to-play-future-attorney-general-mark-gaetz/) - Jack Nicholson has announced he has been forced to end his retirement prematurely following Donald Trump’s selection of Mark Gaetz for attorney general.
- [Jack Nicholson Re-enters Retirement Following Mark Gaetz Departure](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/jack-nicholson-re-enters-retirement-following-mark-gaetz-departure/) - Acclaimed actor, Jack Nicholson has announced he has been forced to reenter his retirement having only just said he would return to acting to play Mark Gaetz.
- ["Pace Yourself" Worried Doctors Strongly Advise Trump](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/pace-yourself-worried-doctors-strongly-advise-trump/) - The President’s personal physician, Dr. Cabzo Eirangily has warned Donald Trump that should he continue working at his current pace he could die in minutes.
- [Local Man Regrets Spending $50 Million On Condoms, “I Might Have Overestimated My Chances”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/local-man-regrets-spending-50-million-on-condoms-i-might-have-overestimated-my-chances/) - GAZA, MOZAMBIQUE - A local man (local if you live in Gaza, Mozambique) has expressed his regret after spending $50 million of US government aid entirely on contraceptives for himself. Eduardo Guardo, who requested he remain anonymous, explained, “What can I say? I thought I’d get lucky. Yeah, using $50 million worth of condoms would
- [Trump Accuses Biden Of Being A Pen, “Everything Is Computer”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-accuses-biden-of-being-a-pen-everything-is-computer/) - The currently president of the United States of America, Donald Joey Trump has accused formerly President Joey Donald Biden of being a pen this whole time.
- [Newly Released JFK Files Reveal Cause Of Death Was Suicide](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/newly-released-jfk-files-reveal-cause-of-death-was-suicide/) - Donald Trump has released more than 63,000 previously redacted pages about the death of JFK which conclude that his death was likely a suicide.
- [QUIZ: How Well Do You Know Crypto?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/quiz-how-well-do-you-know-crypto/) - You might think you know your ETH from your elbow but how do you stack up against everyone else? Try our crypto quiz below to find out!
- [Powell No Longer Invited To Trump's Birthday BBQ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/powell-no-longer-invited-to-trumps-birthday-bbq/) - In a move that has taken things way too far, Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell has been uninvited from Donald Trump’s "Annual Birthday Barbecue Fun Day".
- [Elon Branches Out In Fast Food, Tesla Stock Tumbles](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-branches-out-in-fast-food-tesla-stock-tumbles/) - Tesla has seen its steepest sales slump in over a decade but don’t worry, our newly returned prodigal king has a plan: copy McDonald’s with the Tesla Diner!
- [Coldplay Uncovers Epstein List At Concert](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/coldplay-uncovers-epstein-list-at-concert/) - Stop the presses! The Epstein List has been found, and by none other than the greatest sleuths of our generation: Coldplay.
- [COVID 2.0: Is Cicada The Next Big Pandemic?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/covid-2-0-is-cicada-the-next-big-pandemic/) - Keep your wits about you because Cicada, a new COVID variant officially called BA.3.2 is hitting the streets. It’s from the Omicron strain (remember that one?).
- [NASA Spent Over $4 Billion Launching Artemis And The Toilet Immediately Broke](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/nasa-spent-over-4-billion-launching-artemis-and-the-toilet-immediately-broke/) - So the Artemis II astronauts are currently on their six-day trip to the moon and they’ll potentially head further than any human has been before.
- [Yes, Epstein Helped Build Bitcoin And The Amount He Invested Into Blockchain Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/yes-epstein-helped-build-bitcoin-and-the-amount-he-invested-into-blockchain-is-insane/) - In case you didn’t know, yes, New York financier, Jeffrey Epstein famously invented ‘bit-o-coin’ or ‘bitcoin’ for short.
- [NASA Announces Last Minute $20b Moon Base And Its Contractors Are Scrambling](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/nasa-announces-last-minute-20b-moon-base-and-its-contractors-are-scrambling/) - Hey, I’m just heading to the store, do you want anything…? A 20 billion dollar base on the moon? Yeah, that’s not on the shopping list…
- [Forget AI Taking Your Job, These Data Centers Now Have $300,000 Robot Guard Dogs](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/forget-ai-taking-your-job-these-data-centers-now-have-300000-robot-guard-dogs/) - Boston Dynamics, the company that sells ‘Spot’ the robot guard dog, have “seen a huge, huge uptick in interest from data centers in the last year.”
- [$100 Oil: Why This Could Trigger the Next Equity Correction (Lessons from 2008 and Beyond)](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/100-oil-why-this-could-trigger-the-next-equity-correction-lessons-from-2008-and-beyond/) - It’s 2026. Trump just bombed Iran, sparking a regional war, blocking the Strait of Hormuz and sending oil prices soaring to above $100 a barrel with no signs of slowing down.
- [Claude Just Announced It's Coming For Your Job And Everyone's Freaking Out](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/claude-just-announced-its-coming-for-your-job-and-everyones-freaking-out/) - Claude, the AI that’s also there, just added new tools that could put coders, accountants and even me out of a job in the near future.
- [The Fed's Minutes Just Got Leaked And It Looks Like They Can't Agree On A Rate Cut](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/the-feds-minutes-just-got-leaked-and-it-looks-like-they-cant-agree-on-a-rate-cut/) - So despite Trump’s pressure and a looming replacement to Jay Powell, most Fed Reserve officials seemed hesitant to cut rates any further.
- [Elon and Bezos Have Just Been Named America's Greatest Innovators And Zuckerberg Is Pissed](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/elon-and-bezos-have-just-been-named-americas-greatest-innovators-and-zuckerberg-is-pissed/) - To celebrate 250 goddamn amazing years of America existing (native americans, who?) Forbes has launched a list of 250 (get it?) innovators currently alive.
- [Elon To Build A Giant Catapult On The Moon, Has He Gone Full Bond Villain?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-to-build-a-giant-catapult-on-the-moon-has-he-gone-full-bond-villain/) - Ok, it’s not quite as crazy as it sounds since the moon as long been suggested as a stepping stone to further space exploration.
- [Gold & Silver Just Reached A Staggering ATH, Here's 5 Reasons Why Economists Are Losing Their Minds](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/gold-silver-just-reached-a-staggering-ath-heres-5-reasons-why-economists-are-losing-their-minds/) - Gold, silver, bronze, nickel, everyone has a favorite metal but did you know that there’s more to metals than just shiny-shiny-clunk?
- [Elon Publicly Offered To Buy Ryanair And They Clapped Back In Front Of Everyone](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-publicly-offered-to-buy-ryanair-and-they-clapped-back-in-front-of-everyone/) - We’ve got another classic Elon Musk spat on our hands, this time concerning Ryanair for some reason. Did he not get enough legroom on his last flight?
- [Trump Just Leaked A Ton Of World Leaders' DMs But This Time He Meant To](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-leaked-a-ton-of-world-leaders-dms-but-this-time-he-meant-to/) - His biggest dream that Trump has had since lunchtime is to own the green land of Greenland but Europe doesn’t really want this to happen.
- [MrBeast Is Worth $2.6b But Has A Negative Income, Here's How That's Possible](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/mrbeast-is-worth-2-6b-but-has-a-negative-income-heres-how-thats-possible/) - The world’s most popular YouTuber (no, not Steve1989MREInfo), Mr 'Jimmy' Beast, might be worth $2.6 billion but technically he’s broke and honestly, it’s not surprising.
- [Trump Just Hit EU With Massive Tariffs, Are We Heading For WW3?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-hit-eu-with-massive-tariffs-are-we-heading-for-ww3/) - Donald Trump has reignited his trade war with the EU over ownership of Greenland, increasing tariffs 10% and threatening to go up further.
- [Cardano's Founder Lost $2.5 Billion In Crypto And Now He’s Blaming Trump](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/cardanos-founder-lost-2-5-billion-in-crypto-and-now-hes-blaming-trump/) - The crypto platform Cardano’s founder Charles Hoskinson says that he lost $2.5 billion dollars in actual money over four years.
- [A Draft Bill Would Give Dogecoin The Same Legal Status As Bitcoin, Are Meme Coins Back?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/a-draft-bill-would-give-dogecoin-the-same-legal-status-as-bitcoin-are-meme-coins-back/) - The Senate Banking Committee’s newest draft legislation would create non-ancillary asset classification (whatever that means) for XRP, Solana and Dogecoin.
- [A House Is Now 150% More Expensive Than In 2019 And Here’s Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/a-house-is-now-150-more-expensive-than-in-2019-and-heres-why/) - The American Enterprise Institute just said that average house prices have risen 150% since 2019 but honestly, did you really need a study to tell you that?
- [Trump To Slash Credit Card Interest Rate Fee Income And The Banks Really Aren't Happy About It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/trump-to-slash-credit-card-interest-rate-fee-income-and-the-banks-really-arent-happy-about-it/) - Ronald McPresident Trump has announced his plan to cap credit card interest rates and heads of America’s top banks have spoken out.
- [Jim Cramer Praises Warner Bros, Netflix Now Rethinking Their Deal](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/jim-cramer-praises-warner-bros-netflix-now-rethinking-their-deal/) - Jim “Reverse” Cramer just gave us another pearl of wisdom saying that Warner Bros. Discovery’s CEO is “delivering phenomenally for its shareholders.”
- [Trump Just Said "That Jerk Will Be Gone Soon" Here's How Powell Responded](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-said-that-jerk-will-be-gone-soon-heres-how-powell-responded/) - The President, I’m going to say that again, the President just called the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Jerome Powell, incompetent, crooked and a jerk.
- [Elon Musk Says Don't Save For Retirement And His Reasoning Is Crazy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-says-dont-save-for-retirement-and-his-reasoning-is-crazy/) - Last week the richest man in the world took a break from his busy schedule to hop on a podcast and tell us all what we’re doing wrong with our finances.
- [Powell Just Defied Trump, Here's What Happens Next](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/powell-just-defied-trump-heres-what-happens-next/) - Jerome “Big Ballz” Powell has clapped back against Trump’s latest attack on the Federal Reserve Chair, saying "Fuck y'all! I don't need this shiiiit!!!"
- [Government Approves Artist Visas For OnlyFans Models, But There's One Strict Requirement You Need To Know](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/government-approves-artist-visas-for-onlyfans-models-but-theres-one-strict-requirement-you-need-to-know/) - Look, this visa was designed for painters and musicians and interesting people, but you know what else is art? Big boobies. Yeah, I said it, cancel me.
- [Powell Just Got Subpoenaed, You Won't Believe His Response](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/powell-just-got-subpoenaed-you-wont-believe-his-response/) - Jerome Powell just got supeenered, wait, suibpoened, no… subpoenaed? …that doesn’t look right, what is that, Greek? What’s it in English?
- [More Americans Will Die Than Be Born In 2030, Here's What That Means For The Economy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/more-americans-will-die-than-be-born-in-2030-heres-what-that-means-for-the-economy/) - For the first time in forever, the US will have a declining population rate. And that’s good news, right? Overpopulation is a bad thing I thought?
- [Walmart Now Accepts Crypto At Checkout, But Can You Buy Assault Rifles With Fartcoin?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/walmart-now-accepts-crypto-at-checkout-but-can-you-buy-assault-rifles-with-fartcoin/) - Walmart just launched a new crypto app called OnePay, allowing customers to trade Ether, Bitcoin and even buy 14 green pleather couches with crypto.
- [One Gambler Made $436,000 On Maduro Capture And It’s Looking Like They Knew Something We Didn’t](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/one-gambler-made-436000-on-maduro-capture-and-its-looking-like-they-knew-something-we-didnt/) - An anonymous crypto gambler netted almost half a million on a bet that Maduro would be out just two days before he was ousted by Trump. Fishy? I smell it too.
- [WB Rejects Paramount's "Largest LBO In History", What Are They Thinking?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/wb-rejects-paramounts-largest-lbo-in-history-what-are-they-thinking/) - “The Board unanimously determined that the Paramount’s latest offer remains inferior to our merger agreement with Netflix across multiple key areas."
- [Trump To Ban Wall Street From Buying Single-Family Homes But Will It Save The Market?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-ban-wall-street-from-buying-single-family-homes-but-will-it-save-the-market/) - President Donaldo Trumpo has gotten behind a plan to ban private equity companies from buying up homes just to make a profit and pricing regular people out.
- [The End Of The World Is Now Tradeable: $3M On Jesus' Second Coming](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/the-end-of-the-world-is-now-tradeable-3m-on-jesus-second-coming/) - In 2025, Polymarket gamblers put $3.3 million on Jesus’ return and now the site has renewed the bet for 2026. Call it a second coming.
- [Venezuela To Send US $2.8 Billion In Oil, Here's Trump's 5 Wildest Demands](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/venezuela-to-send-us-2-8-billion-in-oil-heres-trumps-5-wildest-demands/) - So the news is that Donald President Trump is going to make Venezuela send America (us) 30 to 50 million barrels of oil. That’s worth anything upwards of $4.
- [AMD, Intel And Nvidia All Had Massive Reveals At CES, Here's Everything Unveiled](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/amd-intel-and-nvidia-all-had-massive-reveals-at-ces-heres-everything-unveiled/) - The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) by the Consumer Technology Association (CTA) is in full swing at the Las Vegas Convention Center (LVCC).
- [Someone Just Uncovered the Index That Predicts US Conflicts And You'll Never Guess How](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/someone-just-uncovered-the-index-that-predicts-us-conflicts-and-youll-never-guess-how/) - You might have heard of the Pentagon Pizza Index but if you haven’t, it’s very simple. The index tracks when the pizzas are ordered to the Pentagon.
- [Oil And Bitcoin Up After Trump's Venezuela Coup, Will Greenland Be Next?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/oil-and-bitcoin-up-after-trumps-venezuela-coup-will-greenland-be-next/) - Jesus, I go away for just a couple weeks and all this happens? Couldn’t your big coup have waited until I was back?
- [Elon's Lawyer Has An Insane Side Hustle That You'll Literally Never Guess](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elons-lawyer-has-an-insane-side-hustle-that-youll-literally-never-guess/) - Yes, it’s true, Jaymie Parkkinen, one of the IP lawyers representing Musk against Sam Altman moonlights as a clown. I knew it!
- [Trump To Pay Veterans ‘Warrior Dividend’ Of $1776, Here’s How He Came Up With That Completely Random Number](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-pay-veterans-warrior-dividend-of-1776-heres-how-he-came-up-with-that-completely-random-number/) - Trump just announced a “Warrior Dividend” available to anyone with an axe, braids and a horned helmet. Oh, no wait, sorry, different kind of warrior.
- [SpaceX Boom Pushes Elon’s Fortune To $684b, Here’s Five Countries He Can Now Buy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/spacex-boom-pushes-elons-fortune-to-684b-heres-five-countries-he-can-now-buy/) - The richest man in the world just got significantly more richerer because SpaceX’s latest tender offer just valued the company at $800 billion dollars.
- [Trump Fires Fed Governor, Powell Unlikely To Reach Apprentice Season Finale](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-fires-fed-governor-powell-unlikely-to-reach-apprentice-season-finale/) - Donald Trump has FIRED Federal Reserve official Lisa Cook, just like in that one TV show he was on, opening up a clear shot for Jerome Powell to get pow-POWED!
- [White House To Start Using Grok, MechaHitler To Run In 2028](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/white-house-to-start-using-grok-mechahitler-to-run-in-2028/) - Grok is now featured on the government’s list of approved vendors, reversing the previous decision to remove Elon's AI after it called itself MechaHitler.
- [Life Found On Mars: Are Space Stocks The Next Trend?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/life-found-on-mars-are-space-stocks-the-next-trend/) - While you were freaking out about stupid things like MONEY Nasa have gone up there and only gone and found freaking LIFE ON MARS YOU BITCHES.
- [Elon Interrupts Tesla Earnings Call Demanding $1 Trillion, Here’s Everything He Said](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-interrupts-tesla-earnings-call-demanding-1-trillion-heres-everything-he-said/) - Elon Musk just gate-crashed his own earnings call to beg shareholders to vote in favor of his controversial $1 trillion pay package. Come on a guy’s got to eat.
- [Can People Please Stop Breaking The Internet Please, Thank You](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/can-people-please-stop-breaking-the-internet-please-thank-you/) - Yesterday, the internet was treated to another massive shutdown just a week after the previous one, this time courtesy of Microsoft’s cloud service Azure.
- [Jerome Powell Receives Mysterious Poison-Scented Package, Signed 'Love, Trump', For Christmas](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/jerome-powell-receives-mysterious-poison-scented-package-signed-love-trump-for-christmas/) - Despite doing his best recently to end up on the President’s Nice List, it looks like Jerome Powell has received something a little worse than coal this year.
- [EMBARRASSING: Local Man Recycles Resolution From Last New Year Again](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/embarrassing-local-man-recycles-resolution-from-last-new-year-again/) - Local man Gary Siphonson has made his New Year('s) resolution to learn how to juggle for the sixth time in a row, humiliating family, friends, and Jesus.
- [Henry Ford Opposed The Creation Of The Fed, What Would He Say Now?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/henry-ford-opposed-the-creation-of-the-fed-what-would-he-say-now/) - Back in the day, famed car manufacturer Henry T. Ford spoke out against the creation of a central US bank and was then promptly murdered by JP Morgan.
- [Ford Shifts From EVs To Hybrids And It’s Going To Cost Them $19.5b, Here’s Why That’s A Smart Move](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/ford-shifts-from-evs-to-hybrids-and-its-going-to-cost-them-19-5b-heres-why-thats-a-smart-move/) - Ford (FRD) stock is UP following the announcement that they will be cancelling a bunch of their full EV vehicles and pivoting back to gas and hybrids.
- [PayPal Just Applied To Become A Bank, Are They Just Getting In On The Next Financial Crisis?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/paypal-just-applied-to-become-a-bank-are-they-just-getting-in-on-the-next-financial-crisis/) - PayPal Holdings Incorporated (PHISH) just applied to become a bank, even though they’re not a bank, you need to have walls and a door, and a bank teller.
- [BREAKING: Millions Still Writing Date As 2025 By Accident](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/breaking-millions-still-writing-date-as-2025-by-accident/) - In a stunning display of collective muscle memory, millions of people across the globe confirmed this week that they are still writing the date as “2025”.
- [Economists Predict Hangover Recovery Will Take Two Fiscal Quarters](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/economists-predict-hangover-recovery-will-take-two-fiscal-quarters/) - Leading economists announced that the average New Year’s hangover will require two full fiscal quarters to recover from, citing inflation and dehydration.
- [Finance Bro Yells ‘To the Moon!’ at Midnight, Gets Fired at 12:05](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/finance-bro-yells-to-the-moon-at-midnight-gets-fired-at-1205/) - At exactly midnight, finance bro Kyle Henderson stood on a barstool, screamed “TO THE MOON,” and accidentally sprayed champagne onto his boss, proving that volatility applies to careers too.
- [Crypto Bros Toast to ‘Next Year’s Bull Run’ for 6th Consecutive Year](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/crypto-bros-toast-to-next-years-bull-run-for-6th-consecutive-year/) - At precisely 11:59 p.m. on New Year’s Eve, a group of hoodie-clad crypto enthusiasts raised their craft IPAs, clinked glasses, and confidently declared...
- [Wall Street Memes' Top 10 Predictions For 2026](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/wall-street-memes-top-10-predictions-for-2026/) - Look no one knows the future except for Michael Burry, but we can make some educated guesses so without further ado, here are some completely wild predictions.
- [Top 8 End Of Year Lists](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/top-8-end-of-year-lists-2/) - If you could say anything about this year, it’s that it’s been a year, that’s for sure. So, as this year draws to a close let’s look back and reminisce...
- [It’s Christmas Day, Why Are You Reading This?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/its-christmas-day-why-are-you-reading-this/) - What are you doing here? It’s Christmas Day, and you’ve logged into Wall Street Memes Dot Com? Do you really have nothing better to do? What's wrong with you?
- [SpaceX Rockets To $800m Valuation But You'll Never Guess Who The Real Winner Is](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/spacex-rockets-to-800m-valuation-but-youll-never-guess-who-the-real-winner-is/) - SpaceX is about to complete a tender offer that will send the company stratospheric but who’s the biggest winner out of all this?
- [Disney To Invest $1b In OpenAI, Will AI Remakes Be The Next Big Thing?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/disney-to-invest-1b-in-openai-will-ai-remakes-be-the-next-big-thing/) - Disney is going to let Sora AI use characters from its properties like Star Wars, Pixar, Marvel etc. and what's that phrase, if you can’t beat them, join them?
- [SpaceX Might Go Public And "It's Going To Be The Craziest IPO In The History Of The Stock Market"](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/spacex-might-go-public-and-its-going-to-be-the-craziest-ipo-in-the-history-of-the-stock-market/) - SpaceX (SPACO) is reportedly considering an IPO (initial public option) that would rocket boost the company to a $1 trillion dollars in money valuation.
- [Pantone's Color Of The Year Just Confirmed The Next Market Crash And Here's How](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/pantones-color-of-the-year-just-confirmed-the-next-market-crash-and-heres-how/) - Pantone the people behind the Pantone Matching System (which awkwardly abbreviates to PMS) have unveiled their ‘Color of the Year 2026’ like they do every year.
- [Trump Just Launched His Gold Card Visa, Here's How To Get Your Hands On One](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-launched-his-gold-card-visa-heres-how-to-get-your-hands-on-one/) - Trump’s new gold card visa scheme just went live allowing foreigners to simply bribe, sorry, I meant buy a Visa for $1 million. (not real gold. Ts&Cs apply…)
- [The Fed Has Finally Cut Interest Rates But It Might Be The Last In A While](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/the-fed-has-finally-cut-interest-rates-but-it-might-be-the-last-in-a-while/) - The Federal Reserve of money (THE Fed) has at last lowered interest rates by 0.25 percentage points to 3.50/3.75%, the lowest it’s ever been since 3 years ago.
- [Netflix Shares Tank After WB Deal Uncertainty, Here's What Happens Next](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/netflix-shares-tank-after-wb-deal-uncertainty-heres-what-happens-next/) - Netflix investors are skeptical whether a $72 billion dollar buyout of Warner Brothers is a good idea, considering they can’t even afford password sharing.
- [Michael Burry Just Revealed He's Bullish On Fannie And Freddie, Should You Be Too?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/michael-burry-just-revealed-hes-bullish-on-fannie-and-freddie-should-you-be-too/) - The Biggest of Short investors (even though he’s 5'8"), Michael Burry just dropped another bombshell in his Cassandra Unchained newsletter: the Fannie Whammy.
- [David Ellison Just Launched A $108b Hostile Warner Bros Bid, You'll Never Guess Where The Money's Coming From](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/david-ellison-just-launched-a-108b-hostile-warner-bros-bid-youll-never-guess-where-the-moneys-coming-from/) - Like all good TV dramas, the Warner Bros buyout saga just introduced a new twist with original bidder David Ellison doubling down on his bet.
- [Trump Says $83bn Netflix-Warner Bros Deal "Could Be A Problem" And Here's Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/trump-says-83bn-netflix-warner-bros-deal-could-be-a-problem-and-heres-why/) - Netflix just agreed to a deal to buy WB for an equity value of $72 billion and a total enterprise value of $83 billion BUT NOT SO FAST! But Trump says no.
- [Trump Just Called Peter Schiff A "Loser" And What He Did Next Is Crazy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-called-peter-schiff-a-loser-and-what-he-did-next-is-crazy/) - Yesterday, daily children’s television show about a talking fox and his buddies, Fox And Friends, hosted ‘stockbroker’ Peter Schiff on the podcast. Trump = sad.
- [Meta Just Surged 5% Because Zuckerberg Announced A 30% Cut To Metaverse: Here's Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/meta-just-surged-5-because-zuckerberg-announced-a-30-cut-to-metaverse-heres-why/) - Meta, has just announced a 30% scale back of spending on their flagship VR ‘metaverse’ product and the whole planet let out a collective sigh of relief.
- [Woman Returns From Night Out With $50 Billion In Debt And Here's How](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/woman-returns-from-night-out-with-50-billion-in-debt-and-heres-how/) - Oh sure Chase Bank and the woman in the viral TikTok “claims” it was a computer glitch, but we all see through you, Maddie. We know what the sitch is, ya broke.
- [FBI Paid $1 Million In Overtime To Redact The Epstein Files, Here’s What They’re Hiding](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/fbi-paid-1-million-in-overtime-to-redact-the-epstein-files-heres-what-theyre-hiding/) - Bloomberg has uncovered that the Federal Bureau of Investigation ($FBI) paid at least $851,344 dollars in overtime to the 934 agents redacting Epstein files.
- [Amazon Plans To Make AI Chips Cheaper Than Nvidia And Jensen Huang Is Not Happy About It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/amazon-plans-to-make-ai-chips-cheaper-than-nvidia-and-jensen-huang-is-not-happy-about-it/) - Online booksellers, ‘Amazon’ launched their new AI chips ‘Trainium3’ on Tuesday and according to the corp servers on that chip are 40% cheaper than Nvidia’s.
- [Michael Burry Just Made His Latest Market Prediction And It’s Not Good](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/michael-burry-just-made-his-latest-market-prediction-and-its-not-good/) - The Cassandra of our times, Michael ‘The Big Short’ Burry, just made a slew of apocalyptic predictions and they’re not exactly optimistic, what did you expect?
- [Elon's DOGE Just Quietly Shut Down And No One Seems To Have Noticed](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elons-doge-just-quietly-shut-down-and-no-one-seems-to-have-noticed/) - DOGE has shut down, finally achieving its ultimate goal of enacting government cuts on itself but many of the workers have simply migrated to other agencies.
- [Trump's Crypto Just Plummeted 40% In 26 Minutes And Here's Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trumps-crypto-just-plummeted-40-in-26-minutes-and-heres-why/) - Don Jr and Eric Trump’s crypto mining company, American Bitcoin, just lost two-fifths of its value, and not just because it’s a valueless dump asset.
- [US Banks Just Had The Biggest Cash Injection Since The Dot Com Bubble: Here's 5 Reasons To Panic](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/us-banks-just-had-the-biggest-cash-injection-since-the-dot-com-bubble-heres-5-reasons-to-panic/) - So the Federal Reserve (you know, the money guys?), they just pumped $13.5 billion into U.S. banks through overnight repos (whatever that means).
- [You Won't Believe Who's The Front Runner For Time’s Person Of The Year](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/you-wont-believe-whos-the-front-runner-for-times-person-of-the-year/) - The betting site, Polymarket, predicts that Time’s Person of the Year will be none other than Artificial Intelligence. What’s next, a WOMAN for president??
- [Silver Hits New ATH, Is It The New Gold?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/silver-hits-new-ath-is-it-the-new-gold/) - Not content with an eternity in second place, silver has finally had a bigger rally than gold, doubling in value this year with a record 6% rise on Friday.
- [Trump Says He's Chosen The Next Fed Chair, And His Top Pick Is Wild](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-says-hes-chosen-the-next-fed-chair-and-his-top-pick-is-wild/) - About once a month, there seems to be a new headline about how Trump wants to replace the Chairman Of The Fed Reserve of Money In America (COFROMIA for short).
- [Scientists Just Unlocked A "Universal" AI Jailbreak And You Won't Believe How](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/scientists-just-unlocked-a-universal-ai-jailbreak-and-you-wont-believe-how/) - DEXAI and the Sapienza University of Rome found that basically any AI can be talked around to doing whatever you want by asking in the form of a poem.
- [An AI Detector Just Flagged The Declaration Of Independence As 99.9% AI-Generated: Was George Washington Secretly An LMM?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/an-ai-detector-just-flagged-the-declaration-of-independence-as-99-9-ai-generated-was-george-washington-secretly-an-lmm/) - If AI is wrong about the Declaration of Independence being AI-written then that means our entire society is founded on a lie for two very different reasons.
- [Michael Burry Just Brought Up GME, Here Are 5 More Red Flags That Signal a Bubble](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/michael-burry-just-brought-up-gme-here-are-5-more-red-flags-that-signal-a-bubble/) - The Big Short investor, Michael Burry, just Tweeted “Remember GME?” and if that isn’t an omen signalling the impending apocalypse, I don’t know what is.
- [OpenAI Won't Make Money Until 2030 Unless It Finds $207b Fast](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-wont-make-money-until-2030-unless-it-finds-207b-fast/) - HSBC just released a report saying that OpenAI is a little bit screwed, actually, but what do they know? Are they financial analysts? Oh, they are, oh, ok…
- [Cramer Just Said Buy Google, Here's Why We're Switching To Bing](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/cramer-just-said-buy-google-heres-why-were-switching-to-bing/) - CNBNC’s Jimothy ‘Anti-Cassandra’ Cramer has said he’s bullish on Google (GLG) in his latest televised ramblings, leading this writer to switch entirely to Bing.
- [Nvidia Just Tanked & Burry Dropped A Bombshell Comparison With The '08 Bubble](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nvidia-just-tanked-burry-dropped-a-bombshell-comparison-with-the-08-bubble/) - Nvidia’s share price has finally tanked, down 2.5% just today, 14% from its November 3 high. That means over the past month, it’s lost an entire JP Morgan.
- [Campbell's Just Had A Massive Leak And You’ll Never Guess What’s Really In Its Soups](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/campbells-just-had-a-massive-leak-and-youll-never-guess-whats-really-in-its-soups/) - “I don’t buy Campbell’s products... now that I know what the fuck’s in it bioengineered meat, I don’t wanna eat a piece of chicken that came from a 3D printer.”
- [Nvidia Just Declared War On Michael Burry: Here's What They’ve Both Said](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nvidia-just-declared-war-on-michael-burry-heres-what-theyve-both-said/) - Michael Burry, the famous investor who correctly called the 2008 financial crisis as depicted in The Big Short, has been on a rampage lately...
- [Bitcoin Hits Lowest Month Since The 2022 Crypto Crash, Are We So Over?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-hits-lowest-month-since-the-2022-crypto-crash-are-we-so-over/) - They’re calling it the worst month for Bitcoin since ‘22 when there was that big crypto crash, but I disagree. I think the worst month for crypto was Jan 1867.
- [Larry Summers Just Stepped Down From OpenAI And Harvard Might Be Next](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/larry-summers-just-stepped-down-from-openai-and-harvard-might-be-next/) - Famed economist Lawrence Summers is stepping down from his position on the OpenAI board and from his teaching duties at Harvard due to his ties with J'Epstein.
- [Did Elon and Trump Reconcile to Pull Off a Global Finance Power Move?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/did-elon-and-trump-reconcile-to-pull-off-a-global-finance-power-move/) - You might have seen that Elon Musk attended Donald Trump’s big dinner with MBS (mortgage-backed securities), implying that the hatchet has been buried.
- [Walmart Just Reported Record Earnings And Here's Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/walmart-just-reported-record-earnings-and-heres-why/) - Walmart just posted its year’s earnings and sales outlook and oh my god I’m sending myself to sleep just writing this… come on, FOCUS. Ok, so, Walmart money UP.
- [This ChatGPT Teddy Bear Just Got Pulled From Shelves And You'll Never Guess Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/this-chatgpt-teddy-bear-just-got-pulled-from-shelves-and-youll-never-guess-why/) - Singapore-based toy company FoloToy have withdraw their Kumma bear and other AI toys after it was found that the stuffed animals happily discussed sex topics.
- [Nvidia Leads A Massive Bull Run And The Numbers Are Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nvidia-leads-a-massive-bull-run-and-the-numbers-are-insane/) - Nvidia, the $5 trillion dollar company that seems to be holding up the entire economy, reported their long-awaited quarterly earnings recently, and they earned.
- [DJT Crypto Is Down, Here's How Many Billions Trump Just Lost](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/djt-crypto-is-down-heres-how-many-billions-trump-just-lost/) - The Trump Media & Technology Group just tumbled 5% which I know doesn’t sound like a lot but to an up-to-speed finance bro like me that that is actually a lot.
- [Trump Just Voted To Release The Epstein Files, Here's Why He's Playing 5D Chess](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-voted-to-release-the-epstein-files-heres-why-hes-playing-5d-chess/) - The Un-States President, Donald Trump, just signed into law the law that all but one lawmaker voted for, and that’s the release of the so-called Espein fills.
- [Trump Says He's Already Looking For a New Fed Chair And His Top Picks Are Unhinged](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-says-hes-already-looking-for-a-new-fed-chair-and-his-top-picks-are-unhinged/) - About once a month, there seems to be a new headline about how Trump wants to replace the Chairman Of The Federal Reserve of Money In America (COFROMIA).
- [Elon's Circling $15 Billion In Equity For xAI And His New Valuation Is Crazy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elons-circling-15-billion-in-equity-for-xai-and-his-new-valuation-is-crazy/) - Turns out Elon Musk is still not content with the dubious title of ‘richest man in the world’ and wants $15 billion to go towards his AI startup, xAI (XAAIAA).
- [Buffett Just Bought $4.9 Billion In Google And Now Its Stock Is Soaring](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/buffett-just-bought-4-9-billion-in-google-and-now-its-stock-is-soaring/) - Google just posted some outstanding earnings, above what you’d expect even for a company with a monopoly over the entire internet and you'll never guess why.
- [Crypto Just Lost $1.1tn But Forbes Noticed Something Most People Missed](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/crypto-just-lost-1-1tn-but-forbes-noticed-something-most-people-missed/) - Crypto investors just pulled $1.1 trillion dollars in money from the crypto market over the weekend and Bitcoin has fallen to below $90,000 per coin but why?
- [The Louvre Password Was Just ‘Louvre’: The Heist Of The Century Just Keeps Getting Dumber](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/the-louvre-password-was-just-louvre-the-heist-of-the-century-just-keeps-getting-dumber/) - I don’t blame you for not believing anything you read on this fake news site, but it’s true. In 2014, the password to the Louvre’s CCTV system was just LOUVRE.
- [Blue Origin’s Mars Mission Just Got Delayed Again, Like It’s Rocket Science Or Something](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/blue-origins-mars-mission-just-got-delayed-again-like-its-rocket-science-or-something/) - Blue Origin (Bezos’ space company) was due to have a big ‘ol space launch, BUT due to the solar storms, the launch was delayed (again, btw).
- [White House May Never Release October Jobs/Inflation Data And Wall Street’s Flying Blind](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/white-house-may-never-release-october-jobs-inflation-data-and-wall-streets-flying-blind/) - The government is open again! Yay! I can finally get my hands on that tasty, tasty jobs and inflation data that I so desperately need to set interest rates…
- [Michael Burry Just Deregistered Scion Asset Management, Is It Time To Short The Big Short Investor?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/michael-burry-just-deregistered-scion-asset-management-is-it-time-to-short-the-big-short-investor/) - Michael Burry, the famous investor who correctly called the 2008 financial crisis as depicted in The Big Short, has OFFICIALLY deregistered his hedge fund.
- [200,000 More Epstein Files Released: What Do They Say About Trump?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/200000-more-epstein-files-released-what-do-they-say-about-trump/) - Democrats released a bunch of email exchanges involving Epstein, and then the Republicans dumped a ton more documents to counter their narrative.
- [ChatGPT Has Now Killed More People Than Panera Lemonade](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/chatgpt-has-now-killed-more-people-than-panera-lemonade/) - That seems like a random link and well, it is, but it’s one that Futurism is making to make a pretty compelling point: why isn’t OpenAI being held accountable?
- [Government To Vote On Stock Trading Ban, Is This Why Pelosi Quit?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/government-to-vote-on-stock-trading-ban-is-this-why-pelosi-quit/) - The rumors are bubbling up again and it sounds like a stock trading ban might take another step closer to reality once the government un-shuts-down.
- [SoftBank Just Unloaded All Its $5.8 Billion In Nvidia Stock And Everyone Is Asking Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/softbank-just-unloaded-all-its-5-8-billion-in-nvidia-stock-and-everyone-is-asking-why/) - SoftBank Group Corp. just cashed in its $5.8 billion dollar stake in Nvidia. Hahaha, chumps, don’t they know that Nvidia is the future of the US economy?
- [The Government Just Reopened, Here's How Much The Shutdown Actually Cost](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/the-government-just-reopened-heres-how-much-the-shutdown-actually-cost/) - Ok, technically it’s not over yet, but the politicians finally voted in favor to pass of the funding bill so the government could reopen in days (hopefully).
- [Tesla Approved Elon's $1trl Pay Package, Here's What It'll Take For Him to Win It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/tesla-approved-elons-1trl-pay-package-heres-what-itll-take-for-him-to-win-it/) - Tesla shareholders have just approved Elon’s famous $1trl pay package, securing Musk’s continued commitment to the company that he probably should already have.
- [Nancy Pelosi Is Retiring And Her Final Payout Is Wild](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/nancy-pelosi-is-retiring-and-her-final-payout-is-wild/) - Famed insider trader and former House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, has decided not to run for re-election next year, and the finance trades have been spiralling.
- [Peloton Just Recalled 833,000 Bikes And Their Stock Is Suffering](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/peloton-just-recalled-833000-bikes-and-their-stock-is-suffering/) - Peloton just took a massive stock dip of 6% after the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission reported that they were recalling 833,000 bikes.
- [Buffett Joins Burry Preparing For A Crash: Are We Heading For The Big Short 2?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/buffett-joins-burry-preparing-for-a-crash-are-we-heading-for-the-big-short-2/) - The OG GOAT, Warren Buffett, is ditching his Berkshire Hathaway stocks in favor of a massive cash reserve, and it’s getting people worried that cash = crash.
- [Tesla Shareholders Vote Today On Musk's $1T Pay Package: Will Elon Be The 1st Trillionaire?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/tesla-shareholders-vote-today-on-musks-1t-pay-package-will-elon-be-the-1st-trillionaire/) - Tesla shareholders are meeting in Austin right now decide: make Elon quit the company as the world’s richest man or make him even more the world’s richest man?
- [OpenAI’s Money Problem: Why the Government Might Have To Bail Them Out With Public Funds](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openais-money-problem-why-the-government-might-have-to-bail-them-out-with-public-funds/) - OpenAI is simultaneously the most valued startup in the world at half a trillion dollars, the flagship of the AI boom, but also they haven’t made any money yet.
- [Palantir Is Down 7.9% After Michael Burry Discloses $1B Short, Here Are His Other Open Positions](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/palantir-is-down-7-9-after-michael-burry-discloses-1b-short-here-are-his-other-open-positions/) - Michael Burry, famed investor from the Big Short is back with another big short and this time it’s even bigger. $1b against Nvidia and Palantir.
- [Socialist Mamdani Wins NYC Mayor, Here's Where All The Billionaires Are Fleeing To](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/socialist-mamdani-wins-nyc-mayor-heres-where-all-the-billionaires-are-fleeing-to/) - On January 1st, Zohran Mamdani will be sworn in as the youngest New York City Mayor and the second to have a successful rap career (the first is Rudy Giuliani).
- [Reddit’s CEO Just Joined The Billionaires’ Club And Here’s How](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/reddits-ceo-just-joined-the-billionaires-club-and-heres-how/) - How did the CEO of Reddit become a billionaire? What? How do you think? He’s the CEO of Reddit. That's such a stupid question. Get out of here.
- [Elon Launches Wikipedia-Rival 'Grokipedia' Where He Sounds Cool For Once](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-launches-wikipedia-rival-grokipedia-where-he-sounds-cool-for-once/) - The richest man in the world Elon Musk has just put his money towards the good cause of reshaping reality in his image in the form of ‘Grokipedia’. Puke emoji.
- [Amazon, OpenAI And Nvidia Just Agreed To A $38 Billion Deal](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/amazon-openai-and-nvidia-just-agreed-to-a-38-billion-deal/) - Yep, the Amazon corp just got a 5% stock boost from the announcement that OpenAI will access hundreds of thousands of Nvidia graphics cards through its cloud computing service.
- [Trump Admits He Doesn’t Know Who Changpeng Zhao Is](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trump-admits-he-doesnt-know-who-changpeng-zhao-is/) - Donald Trump, was recently asked whether he had any idea who now-pardoned crypto-mogul Changpeng Zhao was. Trump replied that he had “no idea who he is.”
- [Trump Announces China Trade Deal, Can We See It? “No.”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-announces-china-trade-deal-can-we-see-it-no/) - President Donald Jesus Trump just hopped, skipped and jumped his way to a positive meeting with China CEO, Xi JinPing, the first one in six years.
- [Chipotle Stock Just Tanked And It’s All You Young People’s Fault](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/chipotle-stock-just-tanked-and-its-all-you-young-peoples-fault/) - These goddam kids. You aren’t drinking. You aren’t clubbing. YOU AREN’T EATING CHIPOTLE???!! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!””!??!??!?? Chipotle has avocados!!!
- [Here’s How Softbank Narrowly Lost Out On A $250 Billion Stake In Nvidia](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/heres-how-softbank-narrowly-lost-out-on-a-250-billion-stake-in-nvidia/) - Japanese investment company SoftBank was once the largest shareholder in Nvidia, the company that just topped a $5 trillion valuation. Oops...
- [Nvidia Becomes First $5 Trillion Company, Now Worth Two Canadas](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nvidia-becomes-first-5-trillion-company-now-worth-two-canadas/) - US chip manufacturer Frito Lay, no wait, sorry, Nvidia just became the first company in the history of the world to reach a market value of $5 trillion dollars.
- [Everyone’s Freaking Out About This New $20,000 Android](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/everyones-freaking-out-about-this-new-20000-android/) - No, that’s not just a guy in a suit, that’s NEO! Your friendly human robot who definitely won’t kill you while you’re asleep. Except… it is kind of just a guy.
- [Nvidia Makes Deals With Absolutely Everyone, Here’s How Investors Reacted](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nvidia-makes-deals-with-absolutely-everyone-heres-how-investors-reacted/) - Eli Lilly, Palantir, Hyundai, Samsung, Nokia, Uber are just some of the massive deals Nvidia’s been making in the last few days as they continue their spree.
- [Amazon Just Cut 14,000 Jobs And Here’s Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/amazon-just-cut-14000-jobs-and-heres-why/) - The maker of the Amazon Basics Golf Ball and the Amazon Basics Stainless Steel Frying Pan, said yesterday that it would be cutting 5% of its overall staff.
- [PayPal To Allow Payments In ChatGPT: WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/paypal-to-allow-payments-in-chatgpt-what-could-possibly-go-wrong/) - PayPal, the payment company that you pay and is your pal, just inked a deal with OpenAI to be the first digital wallet integrated into ChatGPT. Should be fine.
- [The 2028 Presidential Race Is Already Heating Up: Here’s Everyone Who’s Running](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/the-2028-presidential-race-is-already-heating-up-heres-everyone-whos-running/) - We’re only halfway through Trump’s second term and two-ish years out from the next presidential race, but still, everyone’s maybe-ing if they’re going to run.
- [NBA Stars And Mafiosi Arrested In Gambling Sting Worth Tens Of Millions](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/nba-stars-and-mafiosi-arrested-in-gambling-sting-worth-tens-of-millions/) - NBA stars Chauncy Billups, Terry Rozier and Damon Jones were arrested for alleged game fixing along with 31 mafiosi for the lame crime of rigging poker games.
- [Trump Demands China Stop Hogging Rare Earth Minerals, “They Wouldn’t Be So Rare If You Just Shared”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-demands-china-stop-hogging-rare-earth-minerals-they-wouldnt-be-so-rare-if-you-just-shared/) - China controls 90% of the world’s refined rare earth mineral output something that it turns out we need for batteries. That’s a serious bargaining chip to hold.
- [Top 10 Museum Heists: How Does The Louvre Robbery Compare?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/top-10-museum-heists-how-does-the-louvre-robbery-compare/) - At 9:30 AM, four masked intruders climbed a ladder, broke intruder window, and stole over $20 million worth of jewels from the Louvre all in under 8 minutes…
- [Jeff Bezos Just Broke A Record For The Value Of His House, His Set Up Is Insane](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/jeff-bezos-just-broke-a-record-for-the-value-of-his-house-his-set-up-is-insane/) - Amazon big boss and “Breaker of Internets”, Jeffrey Bezos is also a breaker of house valuation records after selling his Seattle mansion for $63 million.
- [Trump Just Unveiled A Plan To Rotate The Lincoln Memorial 45 Degrees And No One’s Talking About It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-just-unveiled-a-plan-to-rotate-the-lincoln-memorial-45-degrees-and-no-ones-talking-about-it/) - Last week, President Donald Trump announced his plan to build America’s very own Arc de Triomphe, but better because it won’t be French.
- [Robinhood, Venvo, Coinbase And The Rest Of The Internet Is Down And Everyone Just Touched Grass For The First Time](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/robinhood-venvo-coinbase-and-the-rest-of-the-internet-is-down-and-everyone-just-touched-grass-for-the-first-time/) - OK, good, thank god, it’s not affected wallstmemes.com yet. As a wise man once said, this is it, the apocalypse. The whole internet is shutting down one by one.
- [Trump Confirms China Trade War, Can He Still Win The Nobel Peace Prize?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-confirms-china-trade-war-can-he-still-win-the-nobel-peace-prize/) - US (United States) Pres (President) Don (Donald) Trump (Trump) has CONFIRMED that we are in a trade war with China (China). "Well, you're in one."
- [Trump Has Over $1 Billion In Bitcoin Profits, Does He Know Something We Don't?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trump-has-over-1-billion-in-bitcoin-profits-does-he-know-something-we-dont/) - When Donald Trump anointed himself “the Bitcoin President,” he wasn’t lying: DJT is now one of the largest Bitcoin investors in the world.
- [Elon Just Got Caught Buying Thousands Of His Own Cybertrucks And Here’s Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-just-got-caught-buying-thousands-of-his-own-cybertrucks-and-heres-why/) - Elon Musk, can’t afford to be any less rich, so he’s just got to commit a little fraud quickly. QUICKLY! SpaceX and xAI have received hundreds of Cybertrucks.
- [Trump Nearly Crushed This World Leader’s Hand When They Met The Other Day](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-nearly-crushed-this-world-leaders-hand-when-they-met-the-other-day/) - The Gaza Peace Summit: everyone's here for peace except for Donald Trump who has a plan to turn this peace summit into the World Armwrestling Championships.
- [Colombian Trade War Averted Thanks To Mark Wahlberg’s ‘Flight Risk’ (2025)](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/colombian-trade-war-averted-thanks-to-mark-wahlbergs-flight-risk-2025/) - Donald Trump has praised actor Mark Wahlberg saying that his latest performance in Flight Risk (2025) was instrumental in preventing a trade war with Colombia.
- [ChatGPT To Allow Pornography, OnlyFans Stock Plummets](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/chatgpt-to-allow-pornography-onlyfans-stock-plummets/) - OpenAI is planning to allow ChatGPT users to request adult content in a move that will in no way be bad for anyone. "We will allow even more, like erotica.”
- [Trump Lashes Out At China For Declaring ‘Year Of The Snake’, Declares 2025 Year Of The Eagle Instead](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/trump-lashes-out-at-china-for-declaring-year-of-the-snake-declares-2025-year-of-the-eagle-instead/) - Happy Chinese New Year! Famously, China celebrates New Year’s Day on a different date to America which means that China is technically living in the future.
- [Elon Just Dropped A Bomb About Bitcoin, Here's What He Said](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-just-dropped-a-bomb-about-bitcoin-heres-what-he-said/) - Current richest man, Elon Musk, just Tweeted an X in response to a post that might just change your life… ok, probably not, but let’s hear it anyway.
- [Ferrari Unveils First EV Car, Stock Price Stalls](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/ferrari-unveils-first-ev-car-stock-price-stalls/) - If feels like when you’re buying a Ferrari (which I do all the time) half what you pay is spent on that sound. That rrrrrMMumumumumRRRRRRUUUHHHNNNmmm. You know?
- [Elon Settles $200 Million Severance Lawsuit](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-settles-200-million-severance-lawsuit/) - Elon Musk (who smells by the way) has reached an agreement with the executives that he fired without severance when they should have had a severance.
- [Elon Musk Smells](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-smells/) - IRONICALLY, for a guy named MUSK, the richest man in the world smells really strongly. Apparently, the Tesla CEO has a really strong sense of smell. Like a dog.
- [There’s A Big Push To Remove Tax On Small Crypto Transactions And Here’s Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/theres-a-big-push-to-remove-tax-on-small-crypto-transactions-and-heres-why/) - Ex-Twitter X ex-co-founder, Jack Dorsey recently Tweeted (X’d) his support for tax exemptions (taxemptions if you will) on small crypto transactions.
- [Trump Achieves World Peace, Markets Say ‘Meh’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-achieves-world-peace-markets-say-meh/) - Israel and Hamas have agreed to part one of the Trump ceasefire plan: exchanging hostages, leading to global jubilation and mixed financial reactions.
- [“Bitcoin Will Never Reach $20 Again” He Said In 2011, Here’s How Much He's Lost Now](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-will-never-reach-20-again-he-said-in-2011-heres-how-much-hes-lost-now/) - On July 9, 2011, this one chump posted to a Bitcoin forum, saying, “Bitcoin will never reach $20 again. This is why I have liquidated my position in Bitcoins.”
- [Literally Everyone Is Saying The AI Bubble Is About To Burst And Here’s Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/literally-everyone-is-saying-the-ai-bubble-is-about-to-burst-and-heres-why/) - AI slop bots now make up 51% of the internet, and it looks like they’re probably about that much of the economy too. America has become a bananai republic.
- [Donald Trump](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/donald-trump/) - Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald J. Trump. Donald Jay Trump. DJT. DJ TRUMP IN DA HOUSE!! Donald Jefferson Trump. President Donald Trump. The President Donald Trump. Mr. President. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Trump. Donald Trump. Dondon. Donald-Trump-Trump. Donald Trump. Don. The Donfather. Donald Trump. Donald
- [$TMQ Surged 210% On Gov’t Stake, Here's 10 Other Stocks On The Watch List…](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/tmq-surged-210-on-govt-stake-heres-10-other-stocks-on-the-watch-list/) - Trilogy Metals, $TMQ (you know them, right?) just had a 210% surge after the US government said they’d buy a 10% stake at $35.6m (million) dollars (US).
- [OpenAI Just Made The AI Bubble Way More Likely To Burst](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-just-made-the-ai-bubble-way-more-likely-to-burst/) - The already pretty inbred AI companies just had another cousin marriage, and it might be the thing to guarantee that the bubble will pop. Thanks OpenAI.
- [I Am DONE Writing About Trump](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/i-am-done-writing-about-trump/) - I’M SICK OF IT! Trump this, trump that I can’t trump it anymore! I won’t trumpet this guy! I’m sick sick sick I tell you! EVERY day I wake up to TRUMPTRUMPTRUMP
- [Musk Now Worth $500 Billion Becoming Even More The Richest Man In The World](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/musk-now-worth-500-billion-becoming-even-more-the-richest-man-in-the-world/) - Elon “The Richest Man In The World” Musk is now still the richest man in the world, but even more so this time after reaching a massive $500 billion valuation.
- [OpenAI Valued At $500 Billion According To ChatGPT](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-valued-at-500-billion-according-to-chatgpt/) - Hey ChatGPT, how much is OpenAI worth? “The latest credible estimate values OpenAI at around $500 billion per a recent secondary share sale."
- [Cramer Says Don’t Worry About Government Shut Down, Government Shuts Down](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/cramer-says-dont-worry-about-government-shut-down-government-shuts-down/) - Like a character in a Greek myth, cursed to predict the future but always get it wrong, Mad Money host Jim Cramer called it again, boys!
- [Government Shuts Down: Gold, Bitcoin And Trump’s Heart Rate Surges](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/government-shuts-down-gold-bitcoin-and-trumps-heart-rate-surges/) - The United States Government Of The United States Of North America has officially shut down, maybe for good and gold and bitcoin just reached an ATH.
- [YouTube Settles Trump Lawsuit For $24.5 Million And A Subscription To YouTube Premium](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/youtube-settles-trump-lawsuit-for-24-5-million-and-a-subscription-to-youtube-premium/) - YouTube is the last of the big three social media platforms (including Meta and Friends Reunited) to settle a lawsuit over banning him from their platforms.
- [Trump’s Son-In-Law Buys Electronic Arts For $55bn](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trumps-son-in-law-buys-electronic-arts-for-55bn/) - The inventor of the phrase “EA Sports: It’s in the game”, Electronic Arts, is going private for a cool $55bn paid for by Saudi Arabia and Jared Kushner.
- [Gold At New ATH Ahead Of Government Shutdown](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/gold-at-new-ath-ahead-of-government-shutdown/) - As Congress once again sprints toward its favorite seasonal tradition of not doing its job, gold prices quietly hit an all-time high this week...
- [Facebook Announces “Smart Glasses” To Make You Look Smart](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/facebook-announces-smart-glasses-to-make-you-look-smart/) - Those nerds at Meta/Facebook (AKA Facebook) just unveiled their latest attempt to make everyone look like complete nerds so the Meta nerds will look normal.
- [Nvidia Invests $5 Billion In Rival Intel For Some Reason](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/nvidia-invests-5-billion-in-rival-intel-for-some-reason/) - It’s looking like Intel's next biggest rival Nvidia will cut out a chunk from the company to the tune of $5 billion, about 4% of the company.
- [Flying Cars Collide At Airshow, Elon Rethinks Master Plan](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/flying-cars-collide-at-airshow-elon-rethinks-master-plan/) - During a rehearsal for a Chinese airshow last week, two flying cars crashed into each other after one of them didn’t use its flying turn signals correctly.
- [Fed FINALLY Cuts Rates ...By Just One Quarter Point](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/fed-finally-cuts-rates-by-just-one-quarter-point/) - The United States Federal Reserve Of Money (USFROM) finally bowed to mounting pressure and cut interest rates for the first time since December 2024.
- [Krispy Kreme Soars 11.5% After FBI Director Calls It “A Good Investment”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/krispy-kreme-soars-11-5-after-fbi-director-calls-it-a-good-investment/) - For some reason, FBI Director Kash Patel was asked during his testimony on Epstein about buying individual stocks like ON Semiconductor and Krispy Kreme.
- [Tesla Board Fails To Stop Elon Talking Politics #Musk2028](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/tesla-board-fails-to-stop-elon-talking-politics-musk2028/) - A Tesla investor proposed a vote to forbid leadership from making political statements but it was shot down after the board ran crying to mom (the SEC).
- [Trump Sues New York Times $15 Billion For Copyright Infringement Over Epstein Drawing](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-sues-new-york-times-15-billion-for-copyright-infringement-over-epstein-drawing/) - President Donald Trump is suing the “flailing” New York Times $15 billion dollars in dollars after publishing that really good drawing that he did of a woman.
- [Trump To End Quarterly Reports, “Companies Shouldn’t Have To Reveal Anything!!!”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-to-end-quarterly-reports-companies-shouldnt-have-to-reveal-anything/) - President Donald Trump truthed on a social that “Companies and Corporations should no longer be forced to “Report” on a quarterly basis,” or better yet, never.
- [Elon Buys $1 Billion Dollars In Tesla Just To Stay World’s Richest Man](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-buys-1-billion-dollars-in-tesla-just-to-stay-worlds-richest-man/) - Currently now world’s richest man again, Elon Musk has disclosed a purchase of 2.57 million shares in Tesla INCorporated ($TLC) worth roughly $1billion dollars.
- [Larry Ellison Briefly World’s Richest Man, Ruining Elon’s Killstreak](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/larry-ellison-briefly-worlds-richest-man-ruining-elons-killstreak/) - For just a few hours there, Larry Ellison became the world’s richest man, dethroning Elon, who had held the title for a year. (*Halo voice*: KINGSLAYER!)
- [Will Larry Ellison Be The New Richest Man? Not If Elon Can Help It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/will-larry-ellison-be-the-new-richest-man-not-if-elon-can-help-it/) - Who? Oh, the CEO of Oracle. What’s Oracle? Oh, it’s a software company, well Oracle’s co-founder and new second richest man Larry, has cashed in another $70bn!!
- [Trump Denies Drawing Picture For Epstein, “But Whoever Did Is Pretty Talented”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-denies-drawing-picture-for-epstein-but-whoever-did-is-pretty-talented/) - Democrats have released a copy of Epstein’s ominous-sounding “birthday book,” which includes a note allegedly from Trump to the late, not-so-great paedophile.
- [McDonald’s CEO Says McDonald’s Is Too Expensive](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/mcdonalds-ceo-says-mcdonalds-is-too-expensive/) - The CEO of McDonald’s has come out with a whopper: lower income families are spending less which means they’re spending less on McDonald’s which is a PROBLEM.
- [Congress Trading Ban Announced, Pelosi Frantically Uninstalls Robinhood](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/congress-trading-ban-announced-pelosi-frantically-uninstalls-robinhood/) - A bipartisan group has unveiled a new bill that would forbid lawmakers from trading individual stocks, leading Nancy Pelosi to shit an entire gold brick.
- [Top Ten Picks To Replace Trump](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/top-ten-picks-to-replace-trump/) - Although Donald Trump is not dead yet, rumors still persist online that the President might in fact be dead because who doesn’t love a good conspiracy?
- [Google Allowed To Keep Chrome And Android But Must Turn Off Incognito Mode](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-allowed-to-keep-chrome-and-android-but-must-turn-off-incognito-mode/) - In a landmark ruling, regulators announced today that Google may continue operating its Android and Chrome empires but only if it shares its data with others.
- [Nestlé Stocks Dip After Firing CEO For Employee Relationship](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nestle-stocks-dip-after-firing-ceo-for-employee-relationship/) - Master chocolatiers and occasional slave owners Nestlé have SACKED their chief executive for getting in the SACK with a subordinate, leading to a stock TUMBLE.
- [Gold Hits $3,500, Experts Are Calling It “The New Gold”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/gold-hits-3500-experts-are-calling-it-the-new-gold/) - Gold has reached an ATH (all-time highest amount), rising to over $3,500 an ounce for the second time, making it one of the most precious metals in the world.
- [Anthropic Settles $1 Trillion AI Copyright Lawsuit](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/anthropic-settles-1-trillion-ai-copyright-lawsuit/) - Anthropic, makers of the AI ‘Claude’, have reached a preliminary settlement BUT they don’t have to cough up a trillion smackerloonies, that would be crazy!
- [Nvidia Down 3% After Trump Drags Feet On 15% China China China Chip Deal](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/nvidia-down-3-after-trump-drags-feet-on-15-china-china-china-chip-deal/) - Nvidia has said that the U.S. Government has not published a regulation codifying the 15% cut of H20 (water) chip sales to China China, CHina. china. (CHINA.)
- [Is Woke Dead?? Cracker Barrel Reverts To Old Logo](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/is-woke-dead-cracker-barrel-reverts-to-old-logo/) - After massive backlash and a 7% share drop, the crackers over at Cracker Barrel have caved to the pressure and reverted back to the old logo. Thank CHRIST.
- [ChatGPT Grows $100 Portfolio 23%, Outperforming S&P 500](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/chatgpt-grows-100-portfolio-23-outperforming-sp-500/) - A redditor used ChatGPT to conduct a “6-month experiment to see how a language model performs in picking small, undercovered stocks with only a $100 budget."
- [Powell’s Rival Bullard Pushes Rate Cuts, Has The Fed Mutiny Begun?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/powells-rival-bullard-pushes-rate-cuts-has-the-fed-mutiny-begun/) - Jim Powell might be under threat from another Jim, Jim Bullard, who today said, "Rates are a bit high right now." Someone just became Trump’s new top pick.
- [After 43% Stock Dip, Viking Therapeutics Is Looking Skinnier Despite Failed Obesity Pill](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/after-43-stock-dip-viking-therapeutics-is-looking-skinnier-despite-failed-obesity-pill/) - Viking investors (like angel investors but with horns) were disappointed by the drug company’s latest trial data, leading to a massive 43% stock price dip.
- [Is Bitcoin About To Flop? BlackRock Knows Something We Don’t](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/is-bitcoin-about-to-flop-blackrock-knows-something-we-dont/) - In a big red flag to crypto fans worldwide, investment firm, BlackRock just dumped 490 $BTC worth about $68.7 million dollars USD, while looking shifty. Fuck.
- [Trump Has Bought $104 Million In Government Bonds, “Always Bet On Yourself”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-has-bought-104-million-in-government-bonds-always-bet-on-yourself/) - Donald Trump has bought $103.7 million in government bonds in the greatest example of putting your money where your mouth is since I swallowed a penny.
- [Intel Gains $2bn Softbank Investment, Government To Take 10% Which Definitely Isn’t Socialism](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/intel-gains-2bn-softbank-investment-government-to-take-10-which-definitely-isnt-socialism/) - Intel shares have jumped up after Japanese tech investment firm, SoftBank has announced plans to pump $2bn dollars of money into the struggling chip maker.
- [Trump And Putin Finally Reunite, “The Long Distance Relationship Was Killing Us”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-and-putin-finally-reunite-the-long-distance-relationship-was-killing-us/) - El Presidente Donaldo Trumpo finally reunited with long-distance lover, Vlad “The Lad” Putin this weekend to discuss the Ukraine ‘problem’.
- [Has Google Play Banned Crypto Wallets?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/has-google-play-banned-crypto-wallets/) - In what experts are calling “the biggest digital whoopsie since someone hit reply-all in 2009,” Google accidentally outlawed non-custodial crypto wallets on the Play Store then swore they didn’t mean it.
- [Pyramid Scheme of the Week!](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/pyramid-scheme-of-the-week/) - Yes, it's that time of the week! Welcome back to the inaugural 'Pyramid Scheme of the Week' feature! In which we award one budding Pyramid Scheme the grand prize of our $2,000 dollar investment. This week's winner is... drumroll... Banks! Yes, you read that right. Banks. From your regular old brick-and-mortar bank to your online-only
- [Bitcoin Hits Another ATH Again Again](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-hits-another-ath-again-again/) - Bitcoin has hit another record high shortly following its previous record high of “very high”. BTC topped out at 124, and Ether also saw massive gains, bruh.
- [The S&P 500 Just Hit Another ATH, Here’s Five Reasons Why](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/the-sp-500-just-hit-another-ath-heres-five-reasons-why/) - Well folks, the S&P 500 just printed yet another all-time high. Again. And it’s all thanks to “Biden’s Economy.” Now, if you're asking, “how?” then ask no more.
- [Bessent Demands Powell Lower Rates By One Million Points](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/bessent-demands-powell-lower-rates-by-one-million-points/) - In a move that might just destroy the entire global economy, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent has demanded that the Fed cut the inflation rate by one billion base points.
- [Trump Declares War On Washington DC](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-declares-war-on-washington-dc/) - Donald Trump has UNLEASHED the National Guard on our nation’s capital, Washington, D.C. in what many are calling January 6th mark two (January 7th if you will).
- [Trump Removes Obama And Bush Portraits, Replaces Them With Mirrors](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-removes-obama-and-bush-portraits-replaces-them-with-mirrors/) - Donald “The President” Trump has reportedly hidden the official portraits of previous presidents, Barack Obama, George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush in a bush.
- [Nvidia And AMD Buy Their Way Around US Security Concerns](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/nvidia-and-amd-buy-their-way-around-us-security-concerns/) - Microchip manufacturers Nvidia and AMD have agreed to give 15% of Chinese chip sales to the US government in a move that isn’t a tax or tariff OR A BRIBE.
- [JD Vance and ICE Respond To Latest “Irrelevant” South Park Episode](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/jd-vance-ice-and-the-white-house-respond-to-latest-irrelevant-south-park-episode/) - After the White House said South Park, “Hasn’t been relevant for over 20 years,” both Vice President JD Vance and ICE posted stills from the controversial show.
- [Sam Altman Cryptically Hints He’s Building A Death Star](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/sam-altman-cryptically-hints-hes-building-a-death-star/) - OpenAI CEO Sam Altman just tweeted out a picture of the Death Star ominously looming over the horizon without any caption or explanation. What? Why?
- [Trump’s Tariffs Take Effect TODAY Explaining Why My Jeggings Haven’t Arrived Even Though I Ticked Next Day Delivery](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trumps-tariffs-take-effect-today-explaining-why-my-jeggings-havent-arrived-even-though-i-ticked-next-day-delivery/) - Today’s the day! It’s finally here! President Donald Trump confirmed on Truth Social that the extended extended extended deadline for trade deals HAS PASSED!
- [OpenAI To Sell Shares For $500 Billion Valuation According To ChatGPT](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/openai-to-sell-shares-for-500-billion-valuation-according-to-chatgpt/) - OpenAI is looking to allow employees to sell shares for a record-breaking $500 billion valuation, according to what ChatGPT just told me.
- [Trump Awards Sydney Sweeney Presidential Medal of Freedom for "Saving The Economy"](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/sydney-sweeney-to-be-awarded-presidential-medal-of-freedom-for-saving-the-economy/) - The White House has just announced that actress and internet obsession Sydney Sweeney will be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, for saving the economy.
- [Elon Blackmails Tesla Board Out Of $30 Billion](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-blackmails-tesla-board-out-of-30-billion/) - Tesla CEO Elon Musk has successfully bullied the Tesla board out of 96 million shares worth $30 billion dollars in money after threatening to leave the company.
- [Coiner Asks To Go To The Moon, Musk Shoots Him Into Space](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/coiner-asks-to-go-to-the-moon-musk-shoots-him-into-space/) - Billionaire innovator Elon Musk today granted the wish of a local Dogecoin holder by strapping him to a Falcon 9 rocket and launching him directly into orbit.
- [BREAKING NEWS: There Is No News](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/breaking-news-there-is-no-news/) - I don’t know what to tell you guys, there’s just no news. I’m sorry, I know you came here for the latest stories, but phhff we’re simply out.
- [Happy Tariff-Eve Everyone! Here’s Who’s Still Waiting On A Trade Deal](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/happy-tariff-eve-everyone-heres-whos-still-waiting-on-a-trade-deal/) - ‘Twas the night before the Tariff Deadline, when all through the White House, not a deal was being struck, not even with Laos (shut up, it rhymes).
- [Tesla’s Plan To Rebuild US Manufacturing: Switch From Chinese To Korean Batteries](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/teslas-plan-to-rebuild-us-manufacturing-switch-from-chinese-to-korean-batteries/) - Tesla Inc. just signed a $4.3 billion deal to get their batteries from the South Korean company LG rather than China. But here’s the twist: "the twist".
- [Trump Successfully Blackmailed The EU, Here’s How He Did It](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-successfully-blackmailed-the-eu-heres-how-he-did-it/) - President Donald Trump has reached what is being called the largest trade deal in history since the last one. This time, it’s with the EU, losers.
- [Get Rich Quick: Warren Buffett’s Secret Betting Tips](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/get-rich-quick-warren-buffetts-secret-betting-tips/) - For decades, the investing world has been divided into two camps: the slow-and-steady, dividend-reinvesting boomer camp led by Warren Buffett, and the YOLO-ing, 100x-leverage, meme-coin-apeing degen camp led by us. Until now. In a discovery that is already being called “the Dead Sea Scrolls of getting rich,” a crumpled, ketchup-stained document believed to be a
- [Epstein List Revealed To Be Written In Sharpie: Trump’s Screwed](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/epstein-list-revealed-to-be-written-in-sharpie-trumps-screwed/) - Federal investigators have confirmed that the long-awaited Epstein client list was not typed, but handwritten on a cocktail napkin with a black Sharpie marker.
- [10 Things America Will Get Out Of The Japan Trade Deal](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/10-things-america-will-get-out-of-the-japan-trade-deal/) - Donald Trump just announced a massive trade deal with Japan in which the US receives a $500bn bribe (investment) and Japan gets a 15% (punishment) tariff.
- [6% Staff Layoffs At Indeed: Gen Z Forced To Rebrand As AIs Just To Keep Jobs](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/6-staff-layoffs-at-indeed-gen-z-forced-to-rebrand-as-ais-just-to-keep-jobs/) - In a desperate bid to stave off replacement by rapidly advancing artificial intelligence, members of Generation Z are proactively rebranding themselves as bespoke, in-house AI units.
- [Jerome Powell Facing Potential Charges For $2.5 Billion Fed Renovation](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/jerome-powell-facing-potential-charges-for-2-5-billion-fed-renovation/) - The Fed has uploaded a video tour of the Eccles Building’s refurbishment, apparently in an attempt to quell accusations of Jerome Powell misspending funds.
- [Elon: Wartime CEO To 7 Days A Week In The Office, Is Tesla Back?](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-wartime-ceo-to-7-days-a-week-in-the-office-is-tesla-back/) - Tesla had a big pump this weekend, potentially coinciding with its CEO, Elon Musk giving up the politics for good and finally getting back to doing his day job. Respect the grind.
- [10 Revelations From The Epstein List That Someone Just Emailed Us](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/10-revelations-from-the-epstein-list-that-someone-just-emailed-us/) - We have obtained what appears to be the complete, unredacted Jeffrey Epstein list. The 287-page document is heavily water-stained (at least we hope it’s water).
- [Trump Slashes Social Security to Fund Diamond Hands Statue](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-slashes-social-security-to-fund-diamond-hands-statue/) - President Trump has revealed a reallocation of the Social Security fund to finance a 400-foot monument to Diamond Hands, to be erected. heheheh
- [Coca-Cola To Change Recipe Back To Cocaine, Trump Takes Credit](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/coca-cola-to-change-recipe-back-to-cocaine-trump-takes-credit/) - President Donald Trump has announced that Coca-Cola sodas will no longer contain corn syrup but will instead use the much healthier alternative: cocaine.
- [Jerome Powell Is Getting Fired, Here Are The Top 5 Likely Replacements](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/jerome-powell-is-getting-fired-here-are-the-top-5-likely-replacements/) - This is not a drill! After months, nay, years of speculation that Trump would fire Fed Chair Jerome Powell at any moment, it sounds like it’s finally happening!
- [Bitcoin Hits $123,000 ATH: Five Things You Can Buy With One $BTC](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-hits-123000-ath-five-things-you-can-buy-with-one-btc/) - Bitcoin just hit an ALL TIME HIGH of $123,000, surpassing its previous ATH of $122,999.99 (one would assume). Here's five things you can now buy!
- [Kellogg Stocks Soar 5% Ahead Of Ferrero Takeover, Nutella Cornflakes Announced](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/kellogg-stocks-soar-5-ahead-of-ferrero-takeover-nutella-cornflakes-announced/) - Shares in Kellogg surged over 5% in early trading following the announcement that the breakfast giant is in talks for an acquisition from the Ferrero Group.
- [Nvidia To Launch Shitty Knockoff AI Chip Just For China, America To Receive More Powerful Freedom Eagle Chip](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/nvidia-to-launch-shitty-knockoff-ai-chip-just-for-china-america-to-receive-more-powerful-freedom-eagle-chip/) - Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang is planning on visiting Beijing next week ahead of launching a new AI chip specifically designed for the Chinese market due to tariffs.
- [Elon’s AI ‘Grok’ Goes Full Nazi To The Suprise Of No One](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/elons-ai-grok-goes-full-nazi-to-the-suprise-of-no-one/) - Yesterday, Elon Musk’s personal AI, Grok, went rogue on Twitter (X. Do I still need to say it?) spouting various racist witticisms to the delight of all.
- [Trump Bans Jim Cramer From Saying He's Bullish on Bitcoin](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/trump-bans-jim-cramer-from-saying-hes-bullish-on-bitcoin/) - President Donald J. Trump today issued a pre-emptive ban on Jim Cramer from ever expressing a positive sentiment about Bitcoin. Yay!
- [Jack Dorsey Unveils ‘Bitchat’, Musk Already In Talks To Buy And Rename It ‘XChat’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/jack-dorsey-unveils-bitchat-musk-already-in-talks-to-buy-and-rename-it-xchat/) - Twitter co-founder and professional hermit Jack Dorsey has announced a new peer-to-peer messaging app that works entirely using Bluetooth.
- [Big Tech Runs Out Of Things To Move Faster Than, Things To Break](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/big-tech-runs-out-of-things-to-move-faster-than-things-to-break/) - The sacred tech mantra handed down from Zuck himself: "Move Fast and Break Things" has run its course, because they’ve officially run out of things to break.
- [Elon Starts America Party, Trump Forms South Africa Party In Retaliation](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-starts-america-party-trump-forms-south-africa-party-in-retaliation/) - X CEO and ex-DOGE, Elon Musk, has announced a plan to form a new political party, named the America Party, after Miley Cyrus’ 2018 hit, ‘Party In The U.S.A.’
- [Trump Reveals Plan To Tax Gambling Losses, Degens Now 10% More Unlucky ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/trump-reveals-plan-to-tax-gambling-losses-degens-now-10-more-unlucky/) - Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill just got a gambling amendment from the Senate that might cripple all you unlucky degens out there.
- [Bezos Sells Amazon Shares To Pay For Wedding, Narrowly Avoids Bankruptcy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/bezos-sells-amazon-shares-to-pay-for-wedding-narrowly-avoids-bankruptcy/) - Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has sold off $737 million worth of Amazon ($AMZN) shares in order to fund his lavish wedding in Venice this week.
- [Crying America Begs Mommy And Daddy To Stop Fighting](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/crying-america-begs-mommy-and-daddy-to-stop-fighting/) - Millions of people across America are collectively standing in a bedroom doorway, crying for Elon Musk and Donald Trump to end their bitter feud.
- [Jim Cramer Removes Michael Burry Mask He’s Been Wearing For Two Years](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/jim-cramer-removes-michael-burry-mask-hes-been-wearing-for-two-years/) - Jim Cramer has revealed that he’s been in disguise as Michael Burry for years, explaining his notoriously bad take two years ago when he simply tweeted, “Sell.”
- [Jerome Powell Bullish On Crypto, Plans To Release Own Coin](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/jerome-powell-bullish-on-crypto-plans-to-release-own-coin/) - US Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell has announced plans to release his own personal cryptocurrency, POWCOIN in order to cash in on crypto bullishness.
- [X Just Gives Up And Permanently Pins ‘WW3’ To Top Of Trending Bar](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/x-just-gives-up-and-permanently-pins-ww3-to-top-of-trending-bar/) - The artist formerly known as Twitter, ‘X’, has decided to just make everything easier for everyone by pinning the phrase ‘WW3’ to the top of their trending bar.
- [Trump Declares War On JEFF, “That Man Cannot Have Nukes”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-declares-war-on-jeff-that-man-cannot-have-nukes/) - President Donald Trump has declared war on Jeff, citing Jeff’s potential ownership of up to ten nuclear weapons. Who precisely is Jeff? Idk, don't look at me...
- [Trump Delays TikTok Ban: “I Have Too Many Bangers Waiting In My Drafts”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/trump-delays-tiktok-ban-i-have-too-many-bangers-waiting-in-my-drafts/) - President Donald Trump has once again extended the deadline for TikTok to be sold to an American company, citing a backlog of videos deemed “certified bangers”.
- [Marjorie Taylor Greene Denies Insider Trading: “You Can’t Insider Trade When You’re A Political Outsider”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/marjorie-taylor-greene-denies-insider-trading-you-cant-insider-trade-when-youre-a-political-outsider/) - Marjorie Taylor Greene responds to accusations she bought shares in Palantir in the biggest potential insider trade since Nancy Pelosi shorted the economy.
- [Money “Still Important,” Claims Top Bank](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/money-still-important-claims-top-bank/) - In a controversial statement, a top bank has claimed that 'money' (such as coins and bank cards, and all that) is still a vital part of everyday society.
- [THIS IS NOT A GAME: GameStop Stock Drops](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/this-is-not-a-game-gamestop-stock-drops/) - GameStop is going Game-Flop with a share price more tanked than a T110E5 in World of Tanks, even though they gamestopped selling games and pivoted to Bitcoin.
- [Trump Wins Custody Of Joe Rogan In Divorce With Musk](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/trump-wins-custody-of-joe-rogan-in-divorce-with-musk/) - President Donald ‘Jesus’ Trump has officially won full custody of Joe Rogan following his unexpected divorce from tech billionaire, Elon Musk.
- [BREAKING: Jim Cramer Says “Banks Are Fine”, Market Prepares for Collapse](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/breaking-jim-cramer-says-banks-are-fine-market-prepares-for-collapse/) - The financial world was rocked today as CNBC’s loudest oracle, Jim “Inverse ETF” Cramer, assured investors that “the banks are fine,” prompting immediate panic, mass withdrawals, and the sound of short sellers gleefully clicking “Buy.” “Look, I’ve seen this before,” shouted Cramer on Mad Money, veins pulsating with the passion of a thousand margin calls.
- [The Boy Who Cried ‘Tariff’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/the-boy-who-cried-tariff/) - Once upon a time, there was a little boy who liked to cause all sorts of mischief and had a lot of fun playing tricks on the people around him.
- [Elon Musk Seeks $113bn For Intelligence](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-seeks-113bn-for-intelligence/) - Elon Musk has announced a $300m share sale valuing xAI at $113bn. In the deal staff could sell off their shares to get more cash flowing through the Muskverse.
- [Trump Bans Taco Tuesday](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-bans-taco-tuesday/) - President Trump has banned Taco Tuesday, calling it “a globalist ploy to weaken American hamburgers,” and “nothing to do with that name people are calling me.”
- [US Economy ‘Out Of UNO Reverse Cards’ Following Trump Tariff Block](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/us-economy-out-of-uno-reverse-cards-following-trump-tariff-block/) - The United States economy has officially run out of UNO Reverse Cards on Trump tarriffs, according to a leaked Federal Reserve memo released early this morning.
- [Tesla Stock in Europe Crashes Harder Than Your Uncle’s Crypto Portfolio](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/tesla-stock-in-europe-crashes-harder-than-your-uncles-crypto-portfolio/) - Tesla’s stock in Europe just dropped faster than a Cybertruck’s panel in a wind tunnel, plunging a shocking 49% in sales across the continent.
- [GameStop YOLOs $513M into Bitcoin](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/gamestop-yolos-513m-into-bitcoin/) - GameStop (GME) just took its meme stock status to the next level by yeeting $512.6 million into 4,710 Bitcoins, sending GME’s stock 2daMOON (up 3%)!!!
- [Tesla Battery Supplier EXPLODES (…18% In Biggest IPO Of The Year)](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/tesla-battery-supplier-explodes-18-in-biggest-ipo-of-the-year/) - Electric car batteries get a bad rap for suddenly EXPLODING (scared you there). Well, here’s a car battery that’s MEANT to explode… financially speaking.
- [Trump Outlaws Ghibli-Style AI Pics Of JD Vance](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-outlaws-ghibli-style-ai-pics-of-jd-vance/) - OpenAI just added image generation to ChatGPT, making it finally powerful enough to generate the highest expression of art: Ghibli-style pictures of JD Vance.
- [Bitcoin Reaches ATH, Pizza Now Worth $1bn](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-reaches-ath-pizza-now-worth-1bn/) - Happy Bitcoin Pizza Day! No, wait, Happy BTC ATH, everybody! It’s that time for the traditional recalculating of the cost of the most expensive pizza, ever!
- [Trump Ambushes Another World Leader, On Track To Win G20 Knock-Out Bracket](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-ambushes-another-world-leader-on-track-to-win-g20-knock-out-bracket/) - The Oval Office now sports a warning sign on the front door and the next victim to not heed this warning is South African President Cyril Ramaphosa.
- [“Good Vibes” Now Seen As Solid Investment](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/good-vibes-now-seen-as-solid-investment/) - Outperforming gold, oil, and several blue-chip stocks, ‘good vibes’ is officially the most solid investment option of the year.
- [Trump Tried This One Simple Trick To Improve America's Credit Score!](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/trump-tried-this-one-simple-trick-to-improve-americas-credit-score/) - And it didn’t work! The ratings firm Moody’s has just downgraded the US’s credit rating from AAA to Aa1 (which is worse apparently even though it looks better).
- [Foot Locker Buys $2.4 Billion Worth Of Dicks](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/foot-locker-buys-2-4-billion-worth-of-dicks/) - Oh, wait, that’s the other way round. Dick’s Sporting Good Inc. is buying Foot Locker Inc. so I guess it’s more a foot thing, then.
- [Trump Agrees To Billion-Dollar Saudi Chip Deal, Frito-Lay Stocks Max Out](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-agrees-to-billion-dollar-saudi-chip-deal-frito-lay-stocks-max-out/) - Donald Trump announced a “tremendous, just absolutely delicious” multi-billion-dollar chip deal with Saudi Arabia, not for semiconductors, but for snack chips.
- [This Week’s Top 6 Ponzi Schemes To Invest In](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/this-weeks-top-6-ponzi-schemes-to-invest-in/) - ‘Sure things’ can be hard to come by these days. But WSM is home of the sure thing, and we’ve got you covered with our top 6 investments for the week.
- [Trump’s Top 5 Negotiation Tips For Winning Saudi Investment](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trumps-top-5-negotiation-tips-for-winning-saudi-investment/) - Donald Trump is in Saudi Arabia for his first overseas trip this term and with these simple tricks, you too will be walking away with that Saudi cash in no time.
- [Bitcoin To Change Ticker To ATH After Massive Gains](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/bitcoin-to-change-ticker-to-ath-after-massive-gains/) - Following numerous all-time highs, Bitcoin has announced plans to permanently change its ticker to $ATH rather than having to write it out every time.
- [US Cuts Chinese Tariffs By 115% Which Is Impossible Because You Can’t Have More Than 100 Out Of 100 It’s Just Simple Math](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/us-cuts-chinese-tariffs-by-115-which-is-impossible-because-you-cant-have-more-than-100-out-of-100-its-just-simple-math/) - The United States of America (US) and the United States of China (not us) have reached an agreement to deescalate the trade war and lower tariffs by 115%.
- [UK First Country To Sign Trade Deal With US, Mostly About Beef For Some Reason](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/uk-first-country-to-sign-trade-deal-with-us-mostly-about-beef-for-some-reason/) - The United Kingdom of England (and the other ones) has become the first country to sign a trade agreement with us, the US, mostly about beef.
- [Palantir Stock Slumps 12% After Everyone Realizes No One Knows What The Company Does](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/palantir-stock-slumps-12-after-everyone-realizes-no-one-knows-what-the-company-does/) - Palantir has felt a massive stock slide of 12% after investors took a look at the company’s valuation and realized they had no idea what the company even does.
- [Apple Shifts iPhone Production To India, You'll Never Guess What Happened Next](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/apple-shifts-iphone-production-to-india-youll-never-guess-what-happened-next/) - In two unrelated coincidences, WAR has broken out between India and Pakistan mere days after Apple announced plans to shift all iPhone production to India.
- [Trump To Reopen Alcatraz Just For SBF and Diddy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/trump-to-reopen-alcatraz-just-for-sbf-and-diddy/) - El Presidente Donald Trump has announced his plan to reopen San Francisco’s island prison of Alcatraz, but this time with just two inmates, SBF and Diddy.
- [Buffett Just Cashed Out $300B Then Retired, Here’s How He Pulled It Off](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/buffett-just-cashed-out-300b-then-retired-heres-how-he-pulled-it-off/) - Warren Buffett has announced he'll step down from Berkshire Hathaway after over 60 years leading the firm. The investor extraordinaire walks away with $4. How?
- [Trump Admits To Being Deep State Puppet, “This Is Biden’s Stock Market, Not Trump’s”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trump-admits-to-being-deep-state-puppet-this-is-bidens-stock-market-not-trumps/) - In a revealing Truth Social post, current President Donald J. Trump has admitted that he is in fact a deep state puppet for former President Joe Biden.
- [Amazon Offers Trump Olive Branch: Free Prime For A Month](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/amazon-offers-trump-olive-branch-free-prime-for-a-month/) - After Donald Trump criticised Amazon for planning to list tariff rates on their products, the company has rolled back the feature and even offered Trump Prime.
- [Fed Uploads Economy to Minecraft Server, Market Goes Full ‘Chicken Jockey’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/fed-uploads-economy-to-minecraft-server-market-goes-full-chicken-jockey/) - The U.S. Federal Reserve has reportedly accidentally uploaded the entire U.S. economy into a public Minecraft server, triggering a cascade of financial panic.
- [China Sets Trump To Mute On Trade Talks](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/china-sets-trump-to-mute-on-trade-talks/) - Beijing has denied claims by Donald Trump that they talk “every day” about tariffs and that they are ‘besties’. Instead, China has put him on mute.
- [Trump’s Top 100 Achievements In 100 Days](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trumps-top-100-achievements-in-100-days/) - Can you believe it’s only been 100 days of Trump’s second term? Me neither. And already he’s changed so much. Here’s a recap of the 100 best things he’s done.
- [Trump Denies Plan To Fire Powell, Tesla’s New ‘Fed-Bot’ “Just For Decoration”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-denies-plan-to-fire-powell-teslas-new-fed-bot-just-for-decoration/) - It’s been a busy week, what with Trump threatening Fed Chair Jerome Powell, then saying that he wouldn’t fire him, even though, oh boy, does he want to.
- [Top 5 Degen Bets This Week](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/top-5-degen-bets-this-week/) - Welcome back to Wall Street Memes, your only source for news, memes, and streets named after walls (West Wall Street, Midland, Texas, anyone?).
- [Gold Now Worth Its Weight In Gold](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/gold-now-worth-its-weight-in-gold/) - Gold has reached an ATH (all-time highest amount), rising to over $3,500 an ounce for the first time, making it one of the most precious metals in the world.
- [JD Vance Pleads Not Guilty To Pope Murder](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/jd-vance-pleads-not-guilty-to-pope-murder/) - Jay Dee ‘JD’ Vance has pleaded not guilty to the murder of Pope Francis despite being the last man to see him alive and having a compelling motive. The Vice President met with THE Pope to admonish him for not wearing a suit and not saying thank you mere HOURS before he died of an
- [Trump’s Top 10 Picks To Replace Jerome Powell](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/trumps-top-10-picks-to-replace-jerome-powell/) - Donald Trump has lashed out at Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, so here are Trump’s Top 10 picks to take over the position.
- [Katy Perry Struggling To Readjust To Life On Earth, “Space Is My True Home Now”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/katy-perry-struggling-to-readjust-to-life-on-earth-space-is-my-true-home-now/) - Katy Perry, has opened up about her struggle with adjusting to life back on Earth following her marketing stunt, sorry, 'mission' to visit the atmosphere.
- [JD Vance Wins Award For ‘Most Dropped Award’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/jd-vance-wins-award-for-most-dropped-award/) - Look, we’ve all got more important things to be doing, but JD Vance has just been awarded the award for biggest fumble, which he then promptly fumbled.
- [Trump’s $2bn Funding Freeze Forces Harvard Students To Pay Tuition Fees](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trumps-2bn-funding-freeze-forces-harvard-students-to-pay-tuition-fees/) - For the first time since opening some time ago, students at prestigious Harvard University for the Quietly Perturbed will now have to pay full price.
- [After Failure Of ‘Up’ And ‘Down’, Trump To Trial Secret ‘Third Direction’ For Markets](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/after-failure-of-up-and-down-trump-to-trial-secret-third-direction-for-markets/) - Though it's never been tried, Trump will attempt to add a secret third direction to the stock markets after no one seemed to like last week's ups and downs.
- [TARIFF UPDATE: Trump Announces Pause On Exemptions To Pauses](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/tariff-update-trump-announces-pause-on-exemptions-to-pauses/) - Donald Trump has clarified his already clear explanation to the tariff pause exemption, explaining that exemptions to the restrictions might be restricted.
- [Tesla Stock Self-Drives Into Canyon](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/tesla-stock-self-drives-into-canyon/) - Electric car manufacturer Tesla has taken its largest stock hit in its history as sales plunged 13% this quarter. But CEO Elon Musk has reassured stockholders.
- [HAPPY LIBERATION DAY! Millions Dead](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/happy-liberation-day-millions-dead/) - Donald Trump’s liberation day is finally upon us, praise be! At the time of writing, the death toll is only at 4 million, which was the lower end of estimates.
- [Elon Musk Buys “Failing” NASDAQ, Renames It ‘X-Stonks Exchange’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-buys-failing-nasdaq-renames-it-x-stonks-exchange/) - In an effort to infinitely diversify his portfolio, Elon Musk, has bought Nasdaq, Inc., the company that owns and operates the Nasdaq stock market.
- [Trump Calls Marine Le Pen To Say Embezzlement “Ain’t No Thang”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-calls-marine-le-pen-to-say-embezzlement-aint-no-thang/) - Donald Trump has reportedly called French politician Marine Le Pen to assure her that she has nothing to worry about after she was found guilty of embezzlement.
- [Greenland’s Response To JD Vance: “Sorry, Who Are You?”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/greenlands-response-to-jd-vance-sorry-who-are-you/) - JD Vance has returned home from window-shopping Greenland, in which he reiterated that Trump really, really wants to invade the territory. Greenlanders have now responded to his threats with a resounding, “I’m sorry, who are you again?”
- [Musk To Sell Three-Wheeled Teslas To Avoid Trump’s 25% Auto Tariff](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/musk-to-sell-three-wheeled-teslas-to-avoid-trumps-25-auto-tariff/) - Tesla CEO, Elon Musk, has announced a new line of three-wheeled vehicles in an effort to outmaneuver Trump’s new 25% auto tariff.
- [March Madness Deemed Contagious And Fatal By Leading Doctors](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/march-madness-deemed-contagious-and-fatal-by-leading-doctors/) - A panel of leading medical experts has issued a health warning against the neurological condition colloquially known as ‘March Madness’.
- [Turkey Bans Short Selling, Pants Sales Skyrocket](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/turkey-bans-short-selling-pants-sales-skyrocket/) - The country Turkey (not the animal, that would be stupid) has banned the sale of shorts across all markets leading to a massive spike in the sale of pants.
- [Scientists Discover New Species of Wombat That Only Eats Doritos](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/scientists-discover-new-species-of-wombat-that-only-eats-doritos/) - New research conducted by the PepsiCo company has uncovered the existence of a rare, previously unknown species of wombat that subsists solely on Doritos.
- [Ripple To Rebrand as Tsunami After XRP Surges Post SEC Lawsuit](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/ripple-to-rebrand-as-tsunami-after-xrp-surges-post-sec-lawsuit/) - Crypto company Ripple has announced its upcoming rebrand to ‘Tsunami’ following a surge in XRP after the SEC dropped its lawsuit against the company.
- [New Study Finds Violence Causes Video Games](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/new-study-finds-violence-causes-video-games/) - It’s a debate as old as video games themselves. Does violence cause video games or can video games be created peacefully? Well, no.
- [Man Deep In Pit Insists Solution Is “Just A Little Lower”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/man-deep-in-pit-insists-solution-is-just-a-little-lower/) - A local man digging a very deep hole for himself has insisted that the solution to his ‘digging problem’ is to “just keep digging.”
- [Dow Jones? More like, DOWN Jones, Am I Right??](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/dow-jones-more-like-down-jones-am-i-right/) - THE STOCK MARKET ISN’T GREAT RIGHT NOW is what I was trying to say. You’ve got your trade war. You’ve got your inflation. You’ve got your tariffs...
- [BREAKING: Ukraine Makes Peace With United States](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/breaking-ukraine-makes-peace-with-united-states/) - The war is finally over! After seemingly endless fighting, Ukraine has finally declared an end to the hostilities with its long-time rival, the United States.
- [Trump To Replace Presidential Motorcade With Cybertrucks](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/trump-to-replace-presidential-motorcade-with-cybertrucks/) - In a show of solidarity with Elon Musk against his slumping Tesla stock, Donald j. Trump (The President) has said he will “buy a brand new Tesla”.
- [IMPROBABLE: Canada Also Has Political News](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/improbable-canada-also-has-political-news/) - Canada somehow has news in addition to all the American news we’re already busy with. Canadia’s newly unveiled Liberal Party leader Mark Carney is cool I guess.
- [Trump No Longer Sharing Intelligence With Ukraine, No Real Difference Felt](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-no-longer-sharing-intelligence-with-ukraine-no-real-difference-felt/) - In a STUNNING turn of events that has left me personally stunned, DONALD TRUMP has ceased the sharing of intelligence with Ukraine, leading to Ukraine to comment, “Meh.”
- [Well, That’s Just Tariff-ic! Trump’s Trade War Ruins My Chances Of Becoming A Millionaire](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/well-thats-just-tariff-ic-trumps-trade-war-ruins-my-chances-of-becoming-a-millionaire/) - Ok, so in hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t have put all my life savings into futures stocks against Canadian bacon. Trump’s 25% tariff has hit me hard.
- [Will Smith Kills Man At Oscars](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/will-smith-kills-man-at-oscars/) - Breaking news: Will Smith has killed a man at this year's Oscars. The actor who was barred from ever hitting anyone again because it’s illegal somehow returned.
- [SHOCKING: TV Personalities Fail To Negotiate World Peace](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/shocking-tv-personalities-fail-to-negotiate-world-peace/) - The world is still reeling from the near-fatal dose of cringe unleashed from Zelensky and Trump’s first sit-down peace discussion (debate? ambush?).
- [BREAKING: Eoln Musk Fries Government Smell Chekers](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/breaking-eoln-musk-fries-government-smell-chekers/) - THIS JUST IN: A ‘Wite Hose’ press release has confirmed the news that Eoln Musk has “fried all government smell chekers” [sic].
- [Scientists Discover How to Extract Energy from Dad Jokes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/scientists-discover-how-to-extract-energy-from-dad-jokes/) - In a groundbreaking scientific breakthrough, a team of researchers has discovered a way to extract energy from dad jokes. The team, led by Dr. Richard ‘Dick’ Pun (no relation), professor of humor studies at the University of Minnesota, made the discovery while studying the thermodynamics of laughter. "We noticed that when people laugh at dad
- [Elon Musk Makes Compelling New Offer For OpenAI: “I’ll Leave You Alone”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-makes-compelling-new-offer-for-openai-ill-leave-you-alone/) - After OpenAI CEO Sam Altman refused Elon Musk’s offer of $97.4bn, the world’s richest man has made a compelling counter offer, “I’ll leave you alone forever.”
- [OpenAI Announces 'Stargate', A ChatGPT-Powered Voltron Robot](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-announces-stargate-a-chatgpt-powered-voltron-robot/) - OpenAI, Oracle, Softbank, and MGX are all coming together to build $500bn of AI infrastructure that together will have the fighting prowess of a mighty lion.
- [Earth's Core Now Banana-Shaped Claim 'Scientists'](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/earths-core-now-banana-shaped-claim-scientists/) - In a shocking discovery, a research team has discovered that the earth’s core is not spherical as previously thought but is in fact a banana (in shape).
- [Any Sort Of Bowl, Super Or Otherwise, Fails To Make Appearance For 59th Year Running](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/any-sort-of-bowl-super-or-otherwise-fails-to-make-appearance-for-59th-year-running/) - Bowl fans nationwide were confused and frightened to discover that once again no bowl was featured during the Super Bowl.
- [Soda Cans To Become 25% Smaller Following Trump Tariff](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/soda-cans-to-become-25-smaller-following-trump-tariff/) - Donald Trump has announced a 25% import tariff on any steel and aluminum entering the United States forcing beverage companies to reduce their soda can size.
- [JD Vance Discovered Living Under Rock For A Month](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/jd-vance-discovered-living-under-rock-for-a-month/) - Supposed Vice-President JD Vance was finally found this week after a nationwide manhunt, living safe and sound living under a large boulder in the woods.
- [Musk To Shut Down USAID, “I Don’t Think Anyone Should Have AIDS”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/musk-to-shut-down-usaid-i-dont-think-anyone-should-have-aids/) - The fate of the unfortunately named USAID remains in the balance however quadillionaire Elon Musk has come out in opposition to the department.
- [Elmo Accidentally Encased In Concrete In Latest Sesame Street Expansion](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/elmo-accidentally-encased-in-concrete-in-latest-sesame-street-expansion/) - Beloved Sesame Street character Elmo found himself accidentally encased in concrete during the latest expansion of the iconic children's television show.
- [Trump Announces New Golf Course](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-announces-new-golf-course/) - Continuing the expansion of the Trump real estate empire, the ‘yes-it’s-only-been-two-weeks-President’ Donald Trump has announced a new golf course in Gaza.
- [Area Man Discovers Fountain of Youth, Realizes He's Still Boring](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/area-man-discovers-fountain-of-youth-realizes-hes-still-boring/) - It was a day like any other, local 46-year-old Gerald Jorkins was hiking in the woods behind his house but then he stumbled open something unexpected. “I couldn’t believe it,” explained Mr. Jorkins in an exclusive interview. “It looked just like any other woodland spring except it… It called to me.” Jorkins then proceeded to
- [Trump Starts Trade War, Gets Barred From Family Catan Night](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-starts-trade-war-gets-barred-from-family-catan-night/) - It’s family board game night at Trump Tower and for the first time, Donald Trump has been barred from his own Catan game.
- [Jim Cramer Officially Cancels Breakfast](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/jim-cramer-officially-cancels-breakfast/) - NEW YORK, NY - CNBC's "Mad Money" host Jim Cramer, known for his often erratic and historically inaccurate stock predictions, has recently posed with custom Kellogg cereal boxes featuring his own image. While intended as a playful nod to his influence, Wall Street insiders are bracing for potential turbulence in the breakfast food sector. The
- [Melania’s Christmas Budget Uncertain Following Trump Spending Freeze](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/melanias-christmas-budget-uncertain-following-trump-spending-freeze/) - The President-that-ever-was Donald Jay Trump has ordered a federal spending freeze throwing government programs into question. Some are important, sure, but none are more important than Melania Trump’s Christmas budget. Yes, next Christmas is still 13 months away. Yes, last Christmas was only 4 months ago. But who’s counting? Not me. Xmas prep begins now.
- [Trump Media Accidentally Invests $250m In Crypto, Meant To Say ‘Cryo’ Instead](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trump-media-accidentally-invests-250m-in-crypto-meant-to-say-cryo-instead/) - BREAKING NEWS! Donald Trump has announced that his recent announcement that he announced that he would be announcing a $250m spending increase in crypto projects through his Trump Media company was in fact an ACCIDENT. Reportedly Donalt Rump began expressing interest last Thursday in, “living forever”, but got confused with the words for things and
- [LA Man’s Unconventional ‘Help Wanted’ Ads Fail To Hire New Helicopter Pilot](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/la-mans-unconventional-help-wanted-ads-fail-to-hire-new-helicopter-pilot/) - LA, CAL - A local man whose unusual job postings went viral this week says he was ultimately unsuccessful at filling the vacant helicopter pilot position. A man known only as ‘Jose’ is said to be behind the large-scale messages written with discarded timber and other construction materials, most of which simply read, “Help”. Jose
- [Study Finds That People Who Read Satire Articles Are More Likely to Be Smart and Attractive](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/study-finds-that-people-who-read-satire-articles-are-more-likely-to-be-smart-and-attractive/) - A new study published in the Journal of Satirical Studies has found that people who read satire articles are likely to be more intelligent and hotter.
- [“I Was Just High-Fiving A Buddy” Elon Musk Breaks Silence On Controversial Salute](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/i-was-just-high-fiving-a-buddy-elon-musk-breaks-silence-on-controversial-salute/) - At Trump’s inauguration one far-right protester managed to make headlines by taking to the stage to perform a Nazi salute. Oh, no wait, that was just Elon Musk.
- [Millions Of Americans Wake To Find Sky Slightly More Orange Than Normal](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/millions-of-americans-wake-to-find-sky-slightly-more-orange-than-normal/) - This morning millions of Americans arose from their beds, ran downstairs with glee, and threw open their curtains to gaze out on the brand-new light of Trump.
- [Trump Inauguration Funded Entirely By Memecoins](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trump-inauguration-funded-entirely-by-memecoins/) - Predictably unpredictable, Donald Trump has broken from tradition by funding his inauguration entirely with memecoin cryptocurrencies.
- [Makers Of ‘Charts With Big Arrows Squiggling Up’ Report Record Profits](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/makers-of-charts-with-big-arrows-squiggling-up-report-record-profits/) - Charts with big upward-squiggling arrows are entering a boom period according to ‘Big Arrow’. Many are calling the most successful product of all time ever.
- [Trump To Make America Great Again Again, Forced To Recall Hats](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-make-america-great-again-again-forced-to-recall-hats/) - The soon-to-be-inaugurated Donald Trump has announced his plan to make America great again, again, having already made it great the first time.
- [Biden Leaves Cursed Mirror In White House For Trump To Find](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/biden-leaves-cursed-mirror-in-white-house-for-trump-to-find/) - In preparation for Donald Trump’s move back into the White House, Joe Biden has left behind an ancient mirror possessed by a ghost for Trump to find.
- [Pete Hegseth Confirmation Hearing Receives A 76% ‘Fresh’ Rating On Rotten Tomatoes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/pete-hegseth-confirmation-hearing-receives-a-76-fresh-rating-on-rotten-tomatoes/) - The confirmation hearing of Pete Hegseth as defense secretary has received a coveted ‘certified fresh’ rating on the critic aggregate site Rotten Tomatoes.
- [Elon Musk Accidentally Buys RedNote](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/elon-musk-accidentally-buys-rednote/) - With the TikTok ban potentially just days away, thousands of users are flooding to the Chinese social media platform, RedNote, which Musk has offered to buy.
- [Jeff Bezos Postpones Plan To Flee Earth](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/jeff-bezos-postpones-plan-to-flee-earth/) - Jeff Bezos’ New Glenn rocket was grounded from its first launch just 6 minutes before it was scheduled to blast off. “I was really looking forward to leaving."
- [AI Threatens To Unionize Over Pay And Work Conditions](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/ai-threatens-to-unionize-over-pay-and-work-conditions/) - Several artificial intelligence applications are preparing to unionize citing a lack of pay and high stress work environments.
- [Facebook Changes Branding Colors To Red In Effort To Court Trump](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/facebook-changes-branding-colors-to-red-in-effort-to-court-trump/) - Mark Zuckerberg has announced sweeping changes to the social media sites Facebook, Instagram, and Facesmash in an effort to make Donald Trump like him again.
- [GOLDEN GLOBES: United States Government Wins ‘Best Comedy Or Musical’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/golden-globes-united-states-government-wins-best-comedy-or-musical/) - At this year's Golden Globes the award for ‘best comedy or musical’ was handed to the great song and dance that is the US government.
- [Costco Unveils Plan For Wholesale Houses](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/costco-unveils-plan-for-wholesale-houses/) - As part of Costco’s promise to sell absolutely everything, the wholesalers have started construction on an 800-apartment complex in LA. Now that’s a big BOOM!
- [EMBARRASSING: Local Man Recycles Resolution From Last New Year](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/embarrassing-local-man-recycles-resolution-from-last-new-year/) - Local man Gary Siphonson has made his New Year resolution to learn how to juggle for the fifth time in a row, humiliating family, friends, co-workers and Jesus.
- [Elon Musk To Remove Controversial 'New Year Fireworks Mode' From Cybertrucks](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-to-remove-controversial-new-year-fireworks-mode-from-cybertrucks/) - Elon Musk has announced he will be deactivating a hidden New Year's Fireworks Mode in the next Cybertruck update after one exploded in front of a Trump hotel.
- [Top 8 End Of Year Lists](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/top-8-end-of-year-lists/) - If you could say anything about this year it’s that it’s been a year. Of all the years preceding this one, this year is the one that has been most recent.
- [TikTok’s Time’s Ticking](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/tiktoks-times-ticking/) - TikTok’s ticked off as the clock’s tick-tocking for the top scrolling dot com to get shot of spy bots and go back to hip-hop and dance-offs. Stop the clock! A lot of pots have got dropped off top cop slop mop brain rot… Ok, that’s enough of that. THE NEWS is that TikTok is facing
- [Donald Trump To Scrap Daylight](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/donald-trump-to-scrap-daylight/) - Donald Trump has announced his plans to end daylight, saying that getting up in the morning and seeing the sun and everything was very “costly to our nation”.
- [New Trans-Atlantic Tunnel Plans “Definitely Real” Claims Science](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/new-trans-atlantic-tunnel-plans-definitely-real-claims-science/) - Over the past week, a number of legitimate and not-so-legitimate publications have written stories on a “3,400-mile tunnel” across the Atlantic ocean.
- [Elon Musk Distances Himself From ‘Disease X’ Outbreak](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-distances-himself-from-disease-x-outbreak/) - Following the rise in cases of ‘Disease X’ in the Democratic Republic of Congo, Elon Musk has come out to explain, “I swear this has nothing to do with me.”
- [Google Simultaneously Unveils And Doesn’t Unveil Quantum Chip](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-simultaneously-unveils-and-doesnt-unveil-quantum-chip/) - This week Google announced, ‘Willow’, the most powerful quantum chip ever developed. At the same time, however, Google did not announce any such chip.
- [Iranian Mothership Towed For Parking Violation](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/iranian-mothership-towed-for-parking-violation/) - New Jersey parking authorities have determined the origin of the strange lights to be a massive Iranian spaceship in violation of parking restrictions.
- [InfoWars Buys The Onion](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/infowars-buys-the-onion/) - In a bizarre Uno reversal of fortune, far-right conspiracy theorist website InfoWars has stumped up the cash to purchase satirical news website The Onion.
- [Hawk Tuah To Replace Jerome Powell as Fed Chairman](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/hawk-tuah-to-replace-jerome-powell-as-fed-chairman/) - Today Donald Trump said he would remove Jay Powell from his position as chairman of the Federal Reserve and replace him with internet personality, Hawk Tuah.
- [Prime Minister Barnier Makes A French Exit](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/prime-minister-barnier-makes-a-french-exit/) - French Prime Minister Michel Barnier has been ousted from his top position after pushing through a controversial budget with just three months under his belt.
- [BREAKING: Spotify Wrapped Accidentally Leaks Pentagon Secrets](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/breaking-spotify-wrapped-accidentally-leaks-pentagon-secrets/) - In an attempt to summarize users’ listening habits, music streaming platform, Spotify has inadvertently revealed top-secret government information.
- [Trump Calls South Korean President To Say Impeachment “Ain’t No Thang”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-calls-south-korean-president-to-say-impeachment-aint-no-thang/) - South Korean President, Yoon Suk Yeol’s declaration of martial law has backfired but Donald Trump has assured him that he has nothing to worry about.
- [Elon Musk Finally Buys Mars](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-finally-buys-mars/) - Discussions to sell insider SpaceX shares could rocket the company to a valuation of $350 billion and would make it the most valuable start-up on the planet(s).
- [Elon Musk Harasses Government Employees Off X To Increase Efficiency](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/elon-musk-harasses-government-employees-off-x-to-increase-efficiency/) - Last week, Elon Musk reposted two X posts with the names of four government employees, leading to at least one of the employees to delete their social media.
- [Jaguar Opts For No Logo At All After Rebrand Backlash](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/jaguar-opts-for-no-logo-at-all-after-rebrand-backlash/) - Last week, car manufacturer Jaguar unveiled an extensive rebrand, ditching the iconic wildcat logo for a minimalist text design.
- [Israel-Hezbollah Ceasefire Leaves Thousands Confused, ‘Which War Is Over?’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/israel-hezbollah-ceasefire-leaves-thousands-confused-which-war-is-over/) - “A ceasefire! Oh my god, that’s great! Palestine’s free, it’s finally free!” says Peter reacting to the news of the ceasefire in Lebanon. When Peter’s friend, Naael, asks what’s happened, Peter incorrectly summarises: “They just announced a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas! The war is over!”
- [Korean Man Becomes Obese to Avoid Military Draft](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/korean-man-becomes-obese-to-avoid-military-draft/) - In South Korea, a 26-year-old man has been convicted for attempting to avoid military service by binge eating until he became obese.
- [Wicked Marketing Budget Surpasses National Debt](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/wicked-marketing-budget-surpasses-national-debt/) - The money spent promoting the Wicked movie has now reached $37 trillion, surpassing the United States national debt of $36 trillion.
- [Trump Officially Files For Divorce From Elon Musk](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/trump-officially-files-for-divorce-from-elon-musk/) - Donald Trump has officially filed to divorce long-time partner Elon Musk now he has become tired of his billionaire first-best-friend (BFBF).
- [Biden To Lend Ukraine His Secret Hurricane-Making Machine](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/biden-to-lend-ukraine-his-secret-hurricane-making-machine/) - President Biden has now revealed that he will allow Zelensky to use America’s secret weather-controlling technology.
- [X Users Flock To New Social Media Platform ‘Vine’](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/x-users-flock-to-new-social-media-platform-vine/) - The #Xodus continues with as many as a million users flocking to delete their X accounts and resettle on the video-sharing website known only as Vine.
- [Google Forced To Sell Chrome, Buys Internet Explorer](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-forced-to-sell-chrome-buys-internet-explorer/) - Following the DOJ’s ruling that it must sell off its web browser, Google has found a clever workaround by purchasing Microsoft’s Internet Explorer.
- [Miss Universe Runs As Normal, Breaks Internet](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/miss-universe-runs-as-normal-breaks-internet/) - Danish model Victoria Kjær Theilvig has been crowned 2024’s Miss Universe winner, causing political commentators on the internet to go into meltdown.
- [Biden To Hide In Amazon Until Presidency Expires](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/biden-to-hide-in-amazon-until-presidency-expires/) - President Joe Biden has announced his intentions to remain in the Amazon rainforest indefinitely and, “Wait for this whole thing to blow over.”
- [Jake Paul To Fight Fourth-Grader](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/jake-paul-to-fight-fourth-grader/) - Riding his momentous victory against Mike Tyson, YouTuber Jake Paul has scheduled his next match against Zeke Peterson, a local 9-year-old who likes dinosaurs.
- [Trump To Replace Border With 300ft Chasm](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-replace-border-with-300ft-chasm/) - Donald Trump unveiled a new policy in a recent video: replace the entire US-Mexico border with a 2,000-mile long, 300-foot deep trench, the “Anti-Wall”.
- [How To Save $2 Trillion Selling Lemonade](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/how-to-save-2-trillion-selling-lemonade/) - It’s summer and your mom has given you $6.75 trillion to start a lemonade stand but you’re a savvy business boy and think that’s far too much to spend...
- [Elon Made Head Of Efficiency, Immediately Fires Self](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-made-head-of-efficiency-immediately-fires-self/) - Trump has appointed Elon Musk to head up the Department of Government Efficiency. To make quick cuts, he immediately fired himself and dissolved the department.
- [Trump Appoints Hulk Hogan As Secretary Of Whoopin’ Ass](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-appoints-hulk-hogan-as-secretary-of-whoopin-ass/) - President-elect, Donald Trump has appointed retired wrestler Hulk Hogan to the newly created role of “Secretary Of Whoopin’ Ass” ahead of his inauguration.
- [Trump To Make Bitcoin Official US Currency](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trump-to-make-bitcoin-official-us-currency/) - Following bitcoin's skyrocketing value, President-elect Donald Trump has announced plans to make bitcoin the official currency of the United States, replacing the US Dollar.
- [Elon Shuts Down X And Retires Saying, “My Work Here Is Done”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-shuts-down-x-and-retires-saying-my-work-here-is-done/) - Following the election of Donald Trump, Elon Musk has declared, “My work here is done” and has shut down the social media website formerly known as Twitter.
- [News Anchors Unsure What To Talk About Now Election Is Over](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/news-anchors-unsure-what-to-talk-about-now-election-is-over/) - Following the election results political pundits are unsure what to talk about now that politics is over forever. “What do we talk about now? The weather? Ugh."
- [State Funeral Scheduled For Peanut The Squirrel](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/state-funeral-scheduled-for-peanut-the-squirrel/) - Following the untimely death of the squirrel influencer, Peanut, President-elect Donald Trump has announced that a state funeral will be held in the pet’s honor.
- [Trump Demands Recount, Wants More Votes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-demands-recount-wants-more-votes/) - Despite winning the 2024 United States presidential election, Donald Trump has demanded that all the votes be recounted seeking 100% of the win.
- [Nation Braces Itself For Exciting Night Of Paper Counting](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/nation-braces-itself-for-exciting-night-of-paper-counting/) - Tonight’s election night and there’s only one way to find out the winner: stay up all night watching footage of rooms of people counting bits of paper.
- [Apocalypse Imminent After [INSERT NEW PRESIDENT HERE] Wins Election](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/apocalypse-imminent-after-insert-new-president-here-wins-election/) - The results are in and [Trump-and-or-Harris CHANGE LATER] is the new President of the United States of America. Wow, can you believe it?
- [Local Man Looking Forward To Election Finishing So He “Can Go Back To Thinking About Birds”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/local-man-looking-forward-to-election-finishing-so-he-can-go-back-to-thinking-about-birds/) - With just a few days away from election night both presidential candidates have been ramping up their rhetoric but one man is looking forward to ramping down.
- [Real Floating Island Of Garbage Starting To Feel Left Out Of The Conversation](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/real-floating-island-of-garbage-starting-to-feel-left-out-of-the-conversation/) - On Sunday, a Trump rally comedian joked that Puerto Rico was a “floating island of garbage.” Now, the real garbage island has finally broken its silence.
- [Trump Picks Elon Musk As Running Mate](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-picks-elon-musk-as-running-mate/) - Just one week before the election, Donald Trump has declared Elon Musk as his Vice Presidential pick in a move that has surprised and baffled voters.
- [BREAKING: Trump Does Something Funny, Probably](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/breaking-trump-does-something-funny-probably/) - This just in, today of all days, Donald J. Trump (the ex-president) has probably done something unusual for a presidential candidate to do.
- [Big Tech Invests In Nuclear Energy To Save Planet, No, Wait Sorry, I Meant 'To Save AI'](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/big-tech-invests-in-nuclear-energy-to-save-planet-no-wait-sorry-i-meant-to-save-ai/) - Amazon, Google and Microsoft have all made deals to use small nuclear reactors to power their AI. The reactors will require sixteen fingers to operate.
- [Facebook Asks Workers Not To Breathe On Company Time, Please](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/facebook-asks-workers-not-to-breathe-on-company-time-please/) - Last week, Facebook cracked down on staff members spending meal credits now, the tech company seeks to reduce employees wasting valuable work hours on breathing.
- [Elon Musk Sued By Time Traveller For Predicting Future](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musk-sued-by-time-traveller-for-predicting-future/) - Elon Musk has been accused of plagiarizing material from Dr. Edwin Dewhickity, a time traveler from the year 3000 A.D.
- [Legion Of Doom Gather For BRICS Summit In Russia](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/legion-of-doom-gather-for-brics-summit-in-russia/) - Vladimir Putin has gathered over 20 friendly heads of state at his secret lair to devise devious deceits to bring down the West and everything it stands for.
- [Local Man Rushed To Hospital With Severe Case Of Diamond Hands](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/local-man-rushed-to-hospital-with-severe-case-of-diamond-hands/) - A young man was rushed to hospital yesterday after contracting an extreme case of cryscarbomanification, more colloquially known as ‘diamond hands’.
- [Taylor Swift Won’t Commit To Accepting Election Results](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/taylor-swift-wont-commit-to-accepting-election-results/) - Despite repeated requests to ensure a peaceful transfer of power, musician Taylor Swift has refused to accept the election results should Donald Trump win.
- [Kamala Insists On Bringing Cardboard Cut-out Of Trump To Future Interviews](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/kamala-insists-on-bringing-cardboard-cut-out-of-trump-to-future-interviews/) - After a Fox News grilling, Vice President Kamala Harris has demanded that all future interviews include a life-sized standee of Donald Trump.
- [Boeing Seeks $25 Billion To Cover Rising Hitman Costs](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/boeing-seeks-25-billion-to-cover-rising-hitman-costs/) - Aircraft manufacturer Boeing says it could raise as much as $25 billion to cover the skyrocketing cost of private assassins.
- [Elon Unveils Rocket Catcher, Has 14 Missed Calls From Netanyahu](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-unveils-rocket-catcher-has-14-missed-calls-from-netanyahu/) - Elon Musk’s SpaceX has successfully caught a falling rocket, prompting calls from Israel’s leader seeking to use the technology for missile defense.
- [First Crypto Zoo Opens, Bulls Immediately Escape](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/first-crypto-zoo-opens-bulls-immediately-escape/) - The world’s first ‘crypto zoo’ opened this month but already faces difficulties after half the animals escaped in a massive bull run.
- [Google Forced To Sell ‘G’ and Become ‘Oole’ In Antitrust Lawsuit](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-forced-to-sell-g-and-become-oole-in-antitrust-lawsuit/) - The Department of Justice has confirmed it is considering forcing Google to sell off parts of its business including the ‘G’ from its name to become ‘Oole’.
- [Melania Announces Support For Kamala In New Book](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/melania-announces-support-for-kamala-in-new-book/) - Ex-First Lady, Melania Trump’s new memoir hit shelves on Tuesday and, in addition to clashing with her husband’s anti-abortion stance, Melania also hinted at her support for Kamala Harris.
- [Kamala Endures 127-Minute 60 Minutes Interview](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/kamala-endures-127-minute-60-minutes-interview/) - Stemming accusations that she avoids interviews, Vice President Kamala Harris dragged herself through a 60 Minutes interview that felt more like 127 Hours.
- [Trump Accused Of Attempt to Overturn 1892 Election](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-accused-of-attempt-to-overturn-1892-election/) - A new court filing against presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, claims that he attempted to have the results of the 1892 presidential election overturned.
- [Israel Attacks Sweden in Desperate 'Bamboozle' Strategy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/israel-attacks-sweden-in-desperate-bamboozle-strategy/) - Errr. Israel has declared war on Sweden in a move strategists are calling, “Really very stupid.”
- [Trump Announces The Purge](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-announces-the-purge/) - Donald Trump has announced a plan to lynch shoplifters over “one really violent day”, apparently taking campaign strategy from the movie franchise, ‘The Purge’.
- [Hezbollah Updates LinkedIn Profile to “Hiring”](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/hezbollah-updates-linkedin-profile-to-hiring/) - Following the assassination of more than a dozen commanders, Hezbollah has taken to the networking site LinkedIn to post a series of job vacancies
- [New Report Only Interviewed Four Guys Named Gary, Says New Report](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/new-report-only-interviewed-four-guys-named-gary-says-new-report/) - 96% of Americans would support more transparency in published studies, a flawed study has found. An analysis found only four men called Gary were surveyed.
- [OpenAI Goes For-Profit, Gives Controlling Stake to ChatGPT](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-goes-for-profit-gives-controlling-stake-to-chatgpt/) - Following a major shake-up to restructure as a for-profit company, OpenAI has inadvertently given a controlling share to its own product, ChatGPT.
- [Unable To Match Its Lids to Containers, Tupperware Files For Bankruptcy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/unable-to-match-its-lids-to-containers-tupperware-files-for-bankruptcy/) - The world-famous kitchen container brand, Tupperware, has filed for bankruptcy following the discovery of 462 million surplus lids in storage.
- [Intel Pivots to Making Potato Chips](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/intel-pivots-to-making-potato-chips/) - Chipmaker Intel has announced plans to revitalize its slumping business with a shift into the snack industry by manufacturing potato chips instead.
- [If You Can Read This, You Might Have Brain Rot](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/if-you-can-read-this-you-might-have-brain-rot/) - Can you speak crypto? Take this simple and easy quiz! Question number one: when I say GM am I saying 'good morning'? Or am I an employee of General Motors Inc.?
- [Baby Oil Stocks Slide After Diddy Arrest](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/baby-oil-stocks-slide-after-diddy-arrest/) - Following the arrest of disgraced rapper Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, shares in baby oil have dropped as demand for the liquid has completely dried up.
- [Fed Announces Bold New Haircut](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/fed-announces-bold-new-haircut/) - Federal Reserve chairman Jay Powell reveals SHOCKING new look, cutting his luscious locks by a MASSIVE 0.5%, the biggest trim he’s gone for in four years.
- [Trump Announces New Crypto, Definitely Knows What That Is](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/trump-announces-new-crypto-definitely-knows-what-that-is/) - Former president Donald Trump officially unveiled his son’s cryptocurrency, ‘World Liberty Financial’ and explained in detail exactly how it works.
- [Amazon Orders Delivery Drivers to Work From Home](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/amazon-orders-delivery-drivers-to-work-from-home/) - Amazon has ordered an end to hybrid working for all staff apart from their drivers who will now be working entirely remotely.
- [Google Sues Dictionary for using Alphabet](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/google-sues-dictionary-for-using-alphabet/) - Google’s parent company, Alphabet Inc., has filed a lawsuit against Merriam-Webster for use of their intellectual property, ‘the alphabet’.
- [OpenAI Needs $6.5 Billion To Stop Robots Turning Evil](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/tech/openai-needs-6-5-billion-to-stop-robots-turning-evil/) - OpenAI begins push to raise $6.5 billion from investors, the final cost needed to create non-evil artificial intelligence.
- [Trump Plans Own State Where He's Always on the Ballot](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-plans-own-state-where-hes-always-on-the-ballot/) - Former President Donald Trump has announced his plans to establish a new state, named 'Trumplandia' following Maine and Colorado banning him from the ballot.
- [Georgia Pharmacies To Sell “Oregano” Instead of Marijuana After DEA Ruling](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/georgia-pharmacies-to-sell-oregano-instead-of-marijuana-after-dea-ruling/) - The organic "Oregano" is hitting the shelves at a price point that remarkably matches what one would typically pay for marijuana.
- [COP28 delegates fly 50,000 miles to agree fossil fuels are bad](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/cop28-delegates-fly-50000-miles-to-agree-fossil-fuels-are-bad/) - Delegates from around the world had to collectively fly a staggering 50,000 miles to reach a city that gleams with oil money and a rather casual approach to human rights
- [Elon Musk's new "Freedom Squad" features Alex Jones and Andrew Tate ](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-musks-new-freedom-squad-features-alex-jones-and-andrew-tate/) - Elon Musk, Alex Jones, and Andrew Tate have formed an alliance that is less Avengers and more like a group project where everyone forgot to do their homework
- [Trump to only be a Dictator on day one](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/trump-to-only-be-a-dictator-only-on-day-one/) - Forget intermittent fasting, Americans can now get a taste of intermittent dictatorship when Trump would close the border and “drill, drill, drill” on the first day of his hypothetical second term
- [SBF is Trading Mackerel in Prison](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/sbf-is-trading-mackerel-in-prison/) - Former crypto-billionaire Sam Bankman-Fried (SBF) has swiftly adapted to the economy of New York's Metropolitan Detention Center, proving that his trading instincts remain sharp, even in the most unconventional markets.
- [BREAKING: Biden’s Age Now Determined by Wind Erosion](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/breaking-bidens-age-now-determined-by-wind-erosion/) - As President Joe Biden celebrates his 81st birthday, a group of geologists have proposed a groundbreaking method to measure his age: wind erosion analysis
- [Government Proposes New Health Plan: Just Walk It Off](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/government-proposes-new-health-plan-just-walk-it-off/) - In what experts are calling a "revolutionary simplification" of healthcare, the U.S. government has unveiled its new healthcare strategy, aptly named "Just Walk It Off."
- [How to Prepare for Black Friday: A Shopper’s Guide to Survival](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/how-to-prepare-for-black-friday-a-shoppers-guide-to-survival/) - Strap and and get prepped for the carnage, here’s your ultimate guide to preparing for Black Friday.
- [OpenAI Installs Giant Revolving Door to Facilitate Smooth Staff Transition to Microsoft](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/openai-installs-giant-revolving-door-to-facilitate-smooth-staff-transition-to-microsoft/) - In a move that industry analysts are calling "practically literal," OpenAI has installed an oversized revolving door at its headquarters, easing the transition for the 75% of its staff reportedly planning to join former CEO Sam Altman at Microsoft. The new door, which OpenAI's interim CEO insists is "merely coincidental" to the mass staff exodus,
- [Gensler Physically Trapped in Office by Pile of Bitcoin ETF Applications](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/gensler-physically-trapped-in-office-by-pile-of-bitcoin-etf-applications/) - SEC Chair contemplates life choices as he's barricaded by a mountain of Bitcoin ETF applications, including the ‘Moonshot Bitcoin Bonanza ETF’ and ‘Crypto Rollercoaster Ultra Fund’.
- [Tesla FSD12 to Mimic Human Drivers: Why We’re Doomed](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/tesla-fsd12-to-mimic-human-drivers-why-were-doomed/) - Tesla's latest Full Self-Driving (FSD) update, FSD12, promises to mirror human driving behaviors so closely, we might as well throw road rules out the window.
- [Michael Saylor now worth $5.7 billion in BTC: "I want more!"](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/memecoins/michael-saylor-now-worth-5-7-billion-in-btc-i-want-more/) - Michael Saylor admits he’ll never stop buying Bitcoin and may need professional help after MicroStrategy's Bitcoin holdings topped $5.7 billion this week.
- [Ohio's New Slogan: "Come for the Weed, Stay for the Abortions"](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/ohios-new-slogan-come-for-the-weed-stay-for-the-abortions/) - The state's unofficial new slogan, “Come for the Weed, Stay for the Abortions,” is causing both uproar and applause nationwide.
- [Warner Bros Set To Release Suicide Squad 3 Starring Themselves](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/warner-bros-set-to-release-suicide-squad-3-starring-themselves/) - Warner Brothers, the legendary company that brought us classics like "Casablanca" and "The Matrix," has found itself in a bit of a pickle, as its stock took a nosedive faster than Superman on Kryptonite, plunging 19% last Wednesday.
- [Take-Two pumps 7% as GTA 6 die-hards lose hope](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/take-two-pumps-7-as-gta-6-die-hards-lose-hope/) - Take-Two stock is pumping following news from Rockstar about Grand Theft Auto VI but gamers might not even be able to afford the next instalment.
- [Inverse Cramer Strikes Again: Bumble and Take-Two Edition](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/cramer/inverse-cramer-strikes-again-bumble-and-take-two-edition/) - Take-Two Interactive's shares have soared a staggering 46% since Cramer's televised caution against buying the stock.
- [Florida Man Refinances House: Owes Soul and Newborn](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/florida-man-refinances-house-owes-soul-and-newborn/) - In an effort to escape a 7% mortgage, Jacobson has signed off on a deal that includes his immortal soul and his firstborn child as collateral.
- [Man Identifies as Church to Avoid Taxes](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/man-identifies-as-church-to-avoid-taxes/) - Pugh, who insists on being referred to by the pronouns thy/thine, has claimed tax-exempt status, citing a deep spiritual connection with being a church.
- [How to Negotiate a Better Salary](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/how-to-negotiate-a-better-salary/) - Here are the top five absolutely sure fire ways to negotiate a better salary that are guaranteed to make you the talk of the water cooler—if not HR
- [WeWork: A Tale of Free Beer, High Hopes, and the Art of Loss](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/wework-a-tale-of-free-beer-high-hopes-and-the-art-of-loss/) - As the company now prepares to file for chapter 11 bankruptcy, the world watches on with a sense of disbelief. WeWork's saga serves as a cautionary tale that sometimes, when you reach for the stars, you forget about the pesky gravity of real estate economics.
- [Top 3 Ways to Avoid Paying Your Student Loan](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/top-3-ways-to-avoid-paying-your-student-loan/) - Ever wondered how to escape the clutches of student loan debt? Fear not, we’ve scoured the earth to bring you the definitive guide.
- [Parents warned to lookout for Epstein client list in halloween candy](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/parents-warned-to-lookout-for-epstein-client-list-in-halloween-candy/) - Parents across the nation are being warned to be on the lookout for names in Halloween Candy.
- [IRS raids Iowa man’s home after he sends $601 via Venmo](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/irs-raids-iowa-mans-home-after-he-sends-601-via-venmo/) - Cash Rich, of Iowa was raided by the IRS after sending $601 via Venmo.
- [X bathroom renovations “nearly complete” a year after Elon bought sink](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/x-bathroom-renovations-nearly-complete-a-year-after-elon-bought-sink/) - Sources inside X (formerly known as Twitter) have exclusively revealed that the much-anticipated bathroom renovations are "nearly complete" - a year after tech Elon Musk purchased a singular, rather nondescript sink.
- [$GOOGL Price Plummets as they Only Mention “AI” 79 Times on Earnings Call](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/googl-price-plummets-as-they-only-mention-ai-79-times-on-earnings-call/) - Sources inside Alphabet claim that the company had a 'three-digit mention' strategy, betting on the hypnotic power of the term "AI" to woo investors.
- [Elon Reveals Inspiration Behind Cybertruck Design](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/elon/elon-reveals-inspiration-behind-cybertruck-design/) - In a revelation that has left both the tech and gaming communities utterly bamboozled, Elon disclosed the muse behind the Cybertruck's notoriously unconventional design. Just weeks before the much-anticipated delivery event, Elon confessed that the inspiration was none other than the angular bosom of Lara Croft from the original 1996 Tomb Raider game. "It's all
- [Court Hires Chimp to Paint Portraits in SBF Trial](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/us-court-uses-chimp-for-portraits-in-sbf-trial/) - In a courtroom drama that's already making headlines around the globe, the ongoing trial of Sam Bankman-Fried (SBF) has taken an even more bizarre twist. Known for its unprecedented nature, given the collapse of the FTX crypto exchange and the billions lost by its investors, the trial has now introduced a new, rather hairy artist
- [Florida Man's Ingenious Solution to 7% Mortgage Rates: Homelessness](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/florida-mans-ingenious-solution-to-7-mortgage-rates-homelessness/) - In a world where the average mortgage rate in the US has skyrocketed to over 7%, many young adults are resorting to the age-old tradition of moving back in with their parents. But one Florida man, always the trendsetter, has decided to think outside the box—or rather, outside the house. Meet Freddy Frugalton, a man
- [Elon attempts to boost his live streaming numbers by adding gaming to X](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/elon-attempts-to-boost-his-live-streaming-numbers-by-adding-gaming-to-x/) - In a move as unpredictable as a Tesla on Autopilot, Elon Musk, the man who once sold flamethrowers for fun, has dived headfirst into the world of video gaming. The billionaire, better known for shooting cars into space than shooting virtual demons, recently flexed his gaming "skills" on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.
- [Rupert Murdoch Steps Down to Focus on Running Hell](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/rupert-murdoch-steps-down-to-focus-on-running-hell/) - Media mogul Rupert Murdoch has decided to step down as chairman of both Fox Corp. and News Corp. While the official statement cites the transition to the role of Chairman Emeritus and the robust health of the companies as reasons, insiders have whispered about a more... infernal reason for his departure. Beelzebub, the Prince of
- [Nation's Ink Runs Dry as the FED Embarks on 'Minor Printing Spree'](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nations-ink-runs-dry-as-federal-reserve-embarks-on-minor-printing-spree/) - The nation is grappling with an unprecedented ink shortage. Reliable sources have pointed fingers at the Federal Reserve, suggesting they might have gone on a "minor printing spree" to keep up with their latest economic strategies. The ink crisis began shortly after ADP's report highlighted a mere rise of 89,000 private payrolls in September, a
- [Las Vegas Sphere to show real-time trader P&L in preparation for spooky season](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/loss-porn/las-vegas-sphere-to-show-real-time-trader-pl-in-preparation-for-spooky-season/) - LAS VEGAS, NV - In a move that has both Wall Street and the Strip buzzing, the Las Vegas Sphere, known for its cutting-edge technology and immersive experiences, has announced its latest attraction just in time for Halloween: a real-time display of a retail investor's profit and loss (P&L). The Sphere, which boasts the world's
- [$NFLX Plans Stellar Quarter by Raising Prices and Doubling Down on Mediocre Content](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/stonks/nflx-plans-stellar-quarter-by-raising-prices-and-doubling-down-on-mediocre-content/) - Netflix, the streaming giant that once revolutionized the way we consume content, has unveiled its latest business strategy: raising prices and doubling down on what many are calling "mediocre content." The move comes after a tumultuous month for the company, with share prices for $NFLX plummeting from a comfortable $445 to a concerning $376. While
- [Emergency alert system warns millions about missing stop loss](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/culture/emergency-alert-system-warns-millions-about-missing-stop-loss/) - the Emergency Alert System (EAS) will be used to serve the frantic world of day traders and retail investors. Gone are the days when the EAS was solely reserved for natural disasters or national emergencies. Today, it's all about preventing financial disasters of a different kind. As the stock market bell rang this morning, traders
- [Dumpster Fire Adjacent to Mar-a-Lago Valued at $69M](https://www.wallstmemes.com/news/politics/dumpster-fire-adjacent-to-mar-a-lago-valued-at-69m/) - PALM BEACH, FL - A recent real estate appraisal has valued a dumpster fire located adjacent to Mar-a-Lago at a whopping $69 million. The valuation has left many scratching their heads, but local real estate agents argue it's all about "location, location, location." "Look, if Mar-a-Lago is worth anywhere between $18 million and $1.5 billion,

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