Elon Unveils Rocket Catcher, Has 14 Missed Calls From Netanyahu

In a world first, Elon Musk’s SpaceX has successfully caught a falling rocket, prompting calls from Israel’s leader seeking to use the technology for missile defense.

Ordinarily, launched rockets will land in the ocean or on unsuspecting hospitals but this weekend SpaceX managed to slow the speed of the Super Heavy booster so it could be caught safely at the launch site with zero civilian casualties.

Now, Benjamin ‘Bibi’ Netanyahu is campaigning to have the technology become a part of Israel’s missile defense system.

“We’re getting rockets every day from Hezbollah, Iran, even Exploding Joe’s Firework Emporium,” said Alan, an Israeli diplomat familiar with the conflict. “It’s raining rockets over here and not always the nice kind! We have an umbrella, yes, but a bucket to catch the drips would also be nice. The Iron Dome also maybe needs an Iron Bowl. It seems Mr. Musk has built that bowl.”

Reportedly Elon Musk has not returned any calls from the Israeli Prime Minister and left DMs on ‘seen’. However, a SpaceX spokesrobot did respond to a request for comment. 

“What? No, that’s not how this works,” said Pressreleasebot3000, “That’s not how anything works. They are welcome to give us a lot of money for a launch crane if they really want to. But I promise them, when hit with a missile, the only thing it will catch is ‘on fire’.”

SpaceX hopes their successful test landing will pave the way for cheaper space missions by reusing rockets. “That’s the bit I’m most excited about,” interrupted Alan. “Catch the rocket, give it a little kiss then send it back to where it came from? How fun.”

“Also, I heard the machine has giant mechanical arms, yes, that’s great, but what I would like to know is, where is the rest of the body? Could Mr. Musk build more of this giant mechanical robot, maybe? With legs for stomping enemies, perhaps?”

Although the launch tower is known as ‘Mechazilla’ (that’s actually true) SpaceX has yet to comment on plans for any kind of Kaiju-fighting robots.

“Ok, fine, no space claw machine,” said Alan, who really wasn’t done, “But, what if maybe rather than dropping space debris in the Indian Ocean, maybe a little up and to the left? It would help us out a lot. No? Ok, well, the offer’s there, hmu.”