Elon Musk Distances Himself From ‘Disease X’ Outbreak

Following the rise in cases of badass-ly-named ‘Disease X’ in the Democratic Republic of Congo, Elon Musk has come out to officially explain, “I swear this has nothing to do with me.”

The eccentric (and really very cool) billionaire is the father of a child called ‘X’, a social media platform called ‘X’, and a rocket company called ‘SpaceX’. Musk also has 6 evil exes and treasure buried under a giant X somewhere in the Martian desert. It was thus very suspicious when this new Disease X appeared and many were quick to point to Musk as the possible culprit claiming, “He who smelt it, dealt it, and Musk whiffs.”

The Who were quick to clarify they had no expertise in this area as they’re just a rock band. On the other hand, the WHO was quick to clarify that the cause of the outbreak was still unknown. But they didn’t say it COULDN’T be a famous billionaire so you know, that tells you everything doesn’t it?

‘Disease X’ is the term that the WHO (who? WHO) uses as a placeholder for any disease that they are worried about growing into a future epidemic. This might seem scary but I for one haven’t made sourdough in ages and it would be lovely to pick up some new hobbies, you know?

The theory goes that Elon feels the same way and is even trying to push humanity further and further to the brink of collapse so that we’ll all be forced to use his rockets to travel to Mars. I mean, why else would he support Trump?

Now, with ‘Disease X’ (again very cool name) Musk can achieve his dreams of dominating the world with a single letter leaving everyone else to ask another, ‘Y?’

To date, Disease X has killed 31 people.