Elon Just Got Caught Buying Thousands Of His Own Cybertrucks And Here’s Why

You get a Cybertruck and you get a Cybertruck!

The world’s richest man, Elon Musk, can’t afford to be any less rich, so he’s just got to commit a little fraud quickly. QUICKLY!

You see, at launch, he promised that Cyberturcc would sell between 250,000 and 500,000 units per year. The actual figure? Just 20,000 this year. Oy vey.

What can we do, shit, shit, what we going to do? We’ve got to boost numbers stat. I’ve got all these other companies maybe, maybe… oh, I’ve got it!

Sell Cybertrucks to the other companies you own.

SpaceX has received hundreds of Cybertrucks and is expecting thousands more. xAI has been caught receiving the car too. And let’s not forget Musk attempting to flog some off to former BFF, the United States Government.

None of that’s fraud, right?

Elon Musk? More Like Elon Fucked Am-I-Right?

It doesn’t really make sense though, the sibretruk is an elite machine of premium engineered vehicle with a very human design. Yes, the truck has been recalled eight times, yes, it has a poor range, yes, it has terrible resale value, and yes, it looks like Megatron’s dick, but none of that’s a reason why we aren’t selling HALF A MILLION UNITS A YEAR.

elon muck cybertruck — a cybertruck in the wild

Sure, even Tesla doesn’t believe in their own product and is pivoting away from EVs to robots, AI and fast food joints but still, the cyberterk is a luxury item here.

Oh yeah, I mean, it’s a given that it looks like a car after it’s been through a compactor, but we’re talking about the future here.

And I know Elon might have lied about it being bulletproof but I’m telling you, the cberyebtarulks is on everyone’s Christmas list.

No, yes, it’s true, the trunk door will chop your fingers off but the cyveaberpturck IS a premium electric superior car truck please buy it please buy it PLEASE BUY IT AHHHH!!!