SEC Sues Musk And (IN COMPLETELY UNRELATED NEWS) Musk Vows To Shut Down SEC

The United States Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a lawsuit against Elon Musk for disclosing shares in Twitter a matter of days after the government deadline to do so. If found guilty Musk will face a billion years in prison and be forced to revert X back to its original name: W.

And in COMPLETELY UNRELATED NEWS Elon has vowed to turn the ire of his Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) on the SEC and have it completely dismantled.

“I don’t know why they need to earn commission on their exchanges,” X’d lifelong Elon Musk fan, Adrian Dittmann. “And ‘securities’? That’s a joke. They seem very UNsincere to me.”

It’s not clear if Elon will have the power to shut down the SEC since DOGE is not an actual government department and Elon has no actual power.

Back to the original, completely unrelated, story.

So, because Elon did not tell the SEC about his lil, teensy weensy 5%, 7% ok, maybe 9% stock he owned in Twitter he avoided a potential share bump before he bought it, meaning he bought it cheaper and the rest is unfortunately our hellhole of a present. Now this might constitute stock manipulation only time will tell…

BUT what if, and I’m just spitting on a ball here, what if the SEC doesn’t exist by the time the case is brought to trial? Obviously, these two events are COMPLETELY UNRELATED but then wouldn’t the lawsuit magically go away?

I’m no lawyer, clearly, but I’ve got a little feeling that’s exactly how the law works.

For example, if I get a virus on my computer I simply drag and drop the infected program into the trash can. And then it’s done. Can’t hurt me anymore.

I’m not saying Musk is dragging the SEC into a figurative trash can because again, THESE STORIES ARE COMPLETELY UNRELATED. But then again, if they weren’t… BUT THEY ARE NOT. But if they were… THEY ARE NOT. Though the could be… NO. But… NO!! Bu… NO, COMPLETELY UNRELATED, NO CONNECTION WHATSOEVER, GO BACK TO SLEEP.

Musk’s lawyer Alex ‘the Dragon’ Spiro commented, “Musk has done nothing wrong… the SEC’s multi-year campaign of harassment against Mr. Musk culminated in the filing of a single-count ticky tak complaint against Mr. Musk.” I really didn’t need to include this quote I just really like that he says ‘ticky tak’. Who says that? Is that even a word?

This is all so much more messy than this anyway since this is Gary Gensler’s last chess move before falling on his sword so Trump doesn’t fire him instead. Include this in the fact that the events in question are over two years old and it’s not a great look for the Secure Exchanges Corporation.

During Trump’s presidency, the lawsuit could be dropped anyway, and Musk would really have DOGEd that one you could say. Heheheh. I make myself laugh.

Orrrr, and here’s a fun scenario, or Trump decides ‘actually, this guy’s really annoying and I still don’t understand what a meme is’ then keep the lawsuit in place and use it as a stick to ditch the guy. Or maybe! And I’m really fantasizing here, maybe the lawsuit happens, but Musk wins and that enables him to counter suit. The SEC goes broke paying the legal fees, he now has full ownership of the government department and Elon then wields that power to take the presidency! Oh, that’s clever. Yeah, ok, my money is on that happening now. (Again I am not a lawyer.)

How do you think this is going to play out? Let us know by leaving a comment below your pillow tonight and we’ll get back to you whilst your sleeping.