Trump Officially Files For Divorce From Elon Musk

Donald Trump has officially filed to divorce long-time partner Elon Musk after two months of allyship. The move comes after reports that the honeymoon was over and the future president has become tired of his billionaire first-best-friend (BFBF).

Throughout the past week, Elon has been photographed on private flights, at sporting events, and at rocket launches with the soon-to-be-no-longer-former-president. Journalists also reported that Musk now effectively lives at Mara-la-go (Marlalago?) sleeping on a camp bed at the foot of Trump’s four-poster.

“Elon won’t go home, I can’t get rid of him,” Trump joked.

However, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows as now Trump has officially signed a divorce agreement to sever all ties with the Tesla boss.

“After much consideration, I have made the hard decision to file for divorce from Elon Musk,” said Trump in an X post that Musk immediately deleted.

Musk will continue in his role as head of the Department Of Government Efficiency (which is not technically a department) and will receive full custody of Vivek Ramaswamy. Musk will however not be allowed within 420 feet of the president and has to return his ‘first lady’ pajama set.

For those thinking it was plain sailing for the couple might not remember what long fans will point out were early cracks in their relationship. In a 2022 Truth Social post, Trump said, “When Elon Musk came to the White House asking me for help on all of his many subsidized projects, whether it’s electric cars that don’t drive long enough, driverless cars that crash, or rocketships to nowhere, without which subsidies he’d be worthless and tell me how he was a big Trump fan and Republican, I could have said, “drop to your knees and beg,” and he would have done it.”

At the time Elon responded, “Lmaooo… It’s time for Trump to hang up his hat & sail into the sunset.”

The enemies to lovers to enemies storyline is well played out but supporters of the couple and those close to the pair will surely be disappointed, especially as a snappy moniker had yet to be decided. …Trelon? Trusk? Dolon? Elump? Trumusk? Monald Eump? Tron? Elnald? I mean these are all absolute bangers, I can see why they couldn’t decide and divorce was the only option.

Trump’s actual wife, Melania, could not be reached for comment but I’m sure she’s pleased.