Makers Of ‘Charts With Big Arrows Squiggling Up’ Report Record Profits

Charts with big upward-squiggling arrows are entering a boom period according to ‘Big Arrow’ the creators of what many are calling the most successful product since the spinning newspaper. This positive trend is predicted to squiggle down slightly at some point but will likely return to its upward trajectory in the near future.

Commenting on their recent success, Arnaldo Arnadson, CEO of Charts That Have A Big Arrow Squiggling Up Dot Com explained, “We’re very happy to see that charts with a big arrow squiggling upward are more popular than ever. I know some detractors have claimed these figures are false or that the chart is upside down, but if you take a look at this big chart here with an arrow squiggling upward you’ll see that that’s just not the case.”

The detractors to which Arnadson is eluding are likely the manufacturers of ‘charts with a big arrow squiggling down’ who once again reported record losses this quarter. 

“Look I know an idiot when I sees one and Arnadson’s a grade-A idiot-a,” countered Darnaldo D. Darnadson. “The market’s down, down I tells ya! Here, just look at this chart that I happen to have with me:”

When it comes to graphs with big arrows squiggling in any direction it sure can be hard to know who to believe and that’s why this article is sponsored by big graphs with an arrow that just goes left to right, no change, no squiggles, nothing.

For decades graphs with an arrow that just goes straight across without changing have been consistently uneventful with zero fluctuation in price, success, or failure. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this graph.

Graphs with an arrow that just goes from left to right without going up or down at all are reliable, predictable, safe, sturdy, masculine and/or feminine. Bring one into your next board meeting and you’ll see a calm, confused silence enter the room. That’s what you can always expect from big arrow graph no change.

With a graph with an arrow that’s literally just a flat line you know what you’re in for. No surprise squiggles. No big statement, “Everything’s great!” or “Everything’s terrible!” just a blanket, “Nah. Things are the same, mate. Have a beer.”

So head on over to www.biggraphswithabigcartoonarrowthatgoeslefttorightbutdoesntfluctuateorsquiggleitjuststaysflatlikeperfectlyneutral.com and use the discount code ‘GREY’ for 0% off your first purchase. I’m sorry we can’t offer a real discount that would affect the graph.