PayPal Just Applied To Become A Bank, Are They Just Getting In On The Next Financial Crisis?
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PayPal Holdings Incorporated (PHISH) just applied to become a bank, even though they’re not a bank, you need to have walls and a door, and a bank teller called Marjorie would won’t let you withdraw $15,000 from your uncle’s account even though you have a note saying that he lets you, and it’s fine.
The move is an attempt to make use of Trump’s openness to fintech companies joining the banking sector. He’s also open to bribes, but I’d keep that in your back pocket for when you really need it.
The application to form a Utah-chartered industrial loan company was submitted to the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp and the Utah Department of Financial Institutions and oh my god I fell asleep that’s so boring.
PayPal? More like PayI’mNotYourPalFriend
If approved, this could mean PayPal can hand out more small business loans but I also is step one onto the road to winning the coveted title of ‘bank’.
Now, this could all be a clever move on the part of PayPal because if we learned anything from the 2008 financial crisis it’s that there are some banks that are too big to fail which means that the government, by which I mean the taxpayer, has to bail them out so we all don’t die.
I know how it works, the government has a big red button in a glass case somewhere and a sign above it reads, “In case of financial crisis, hit button to bail out banks.” Now that’ll automatically pay the bank CEOs the billions that they need to keep their indoor pools heated (god forbid) BUT if you’re not on that list of ‘banks’ you don’t get squat, Marjorie.
So that’s clearly PayPal’s plan, become a bank, then just sit tight and wait for the world to burn.
Good luck with that.
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