Trump Actually Being Jesus Skyrockets On Predictions Markets

Donald Trump posted an AI-generated picture of him as Jesus, sorry, a doctor, sorry, Dr. Jesus, which isn’t a problem because it was him as a doctor, but then he deleted it, not because it was a problem, but because people misunderstood it. HE WAS CLEARLY A DOCTOR GUYS.

Anyway, obviously this rubbed his base up the wrong way. Turns out implying that you’re Jesus isn’t very Christian because, you know, Jesus is Jesus, not Dr. Jesus.

But Trump’s done a lot of unchristian things and that’s never stopped people supporting him so there’s a simple solution, BEND YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF REALITY TO MAKE WHAT HE DID OK.

In this case, maybe it’s true. Maybe Trump is Jesus… And if prediction markets like our sponsor Polymarket are anything to go by, a lot of people are wondering if that’s true. A number of bets have been placed that Donald Trump will be shortly revealed to actually be Jesus after all, like the worst episode of Scooby Doo.

That’s not true obviously, I just made that up, like, who actually thinks Trump is Jesus? Other than Trump himself of course…

But it would make a lot of sense, I mean, Jesus often talking about groping women and annihilating whole civilisations…

I’m kidding but tbf, the old testament god was pretty aligned with Trump’s morality. And that’s the thing we’re like omg, how could Christians possibly support Trump? Do they now know that he stands against everything Jesus taught? Christians would have to hold two opposing views in their head simultaneously, right?

But they already do that, believing slavery is always wrong, unless god does it. Or god is always right, even when he does something bad. Idk, we all have conflicting beliefs, it’s hard to pin anyone down, we shouldn’t be surprised when Trump supporters of all people aren’t morally consistent.

Oh yeah, and he had beef with the Pope, that was weird…