Report Reveals Tesla Invested $2 Billion In SpaceX, Is The Merger Inevitable?

As revealed in a recent quarterly report, Tesla secretly invested $2 billion dollars in money into their sister company SpaceX and now it’s got everyone talking about the possibility of a merger.

The suggestion comes ahead of SpaceX’s upcoming potential $2 trillion IPO in June and bolting a Tesla to that rocket might just help the EV maker’s slumping finances.

Tesla has already pivoted away from its core product of EVs into robots for some reason so maybe just one pivot into rockets isn’t that big a stretch?

Other than sharing the same business daddy, however, there’s not much similarity between the auto-manufacturer and the rocket manufacturer. But that was the only connection between SpaceX and xAI and that merger still went ahead.

It’s just easier, isn’t it? He’ll only need one email address, only need to take half the meetings and can finally just refer to everything as ‘X’.

Which brings us to the most important question. What is this company going to be called?

Well there’s a few options, let’s rank them below in order of which ones I think are the most likely to happen:

5. Tespacexaila

You get all the names in there but it doesn’t really roll off the tongue, does it?

4. Tesla x SpaceX

Boring corporate merger name. Leads with your inferior product. No thanks.

3. Just SpaceX

It’s what they did with xAI. Maybe it’ll help. Tesla’s on the downward slide so just do away with it.

2. X

Smart, sleek, impossible to google and infinitely confusing. It didn’t work with Twitter so it probably won’t work here but it seems to be Elon’s ultimate goal so I bet that’s what’ll happen.

1. The Fourth Reich

Let’s be honest, that’s what the whole scheme is about right? Consolidate company after company, power after power until at last you have a New World Order carved in your own image. Today, electric vehicles, tomorrow, the world!

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