The world-famous kitchen container brand, Tupperware, has filed for bankruptcy following the discovery of 462 million surplus lids in storage.
The company attempted to find the corresponding tub (or ‘tup’ in industry parlance) to every lid but was unable to find a single matching pair. Many lids were reported to be almost exactly right but upon pressing down the final side, the opposite side would pop up.
“Over the last several many years, the company has been tossing unmatched lids straight into storage with the intention of getting around to it later,” said Tommy Tupperson, Tupperware’s tip-top talker. “This last Tuesday we opened said storage for the first time and were overwhelmed with an outpouring of plastic lids. Three workers were sadly crushed to death.”
“After dedicating all our resources to finding the missing tups, I am sorry to admit that we have failed and are now bankrupt.”
Tupperware claims (and wait this one’s a real quote) they will, “Pursue strategic alternatives to support our transformation into a digital-first, technology-led company.” How a plastic food container will be ‘digital-first’ is anyone’s guess but maybe we shouldn’t expect business logic from a company that’s going bankrupt.
All twelve fans of Tupperware have written to the company expressing their heartfelt sorrow and shame for the company’s failure. The letters included several suggestions to make use of the excess lids including; surfboards for rats, windows for houses inhabited by rats, and spare lids in case you lose your Tupperware lid (also you’re a rat).
Over 78 years of operation, Tupperware rose to prominence in the 1950s by deploying the then-groundbreaking business model of ‘the pyramid scheme’. The company used direct selling and so-called, ‘Tupperware parties’, in which housewives would ritualistically seal the least popular member of the group in a Tupperware coffin and set it on fire.
These controversial gatherings were banned in most states and although the company denied their existence, it was just the beginning of Tupperware’s many PR disasters.
Throughout the 1970s reports of toddlers falling into the pots and suffocating made headlines. The summer of 1982 saw the spread of the ‘Tupperwerewolf’ hoax leading to another earnings slump.
In the late 90s, the company attempted to change its fortune by branching out into fashion. The large, angular, see-through plastic dresses known as ‘Tupperwear’ were highly impractical and unpopular and the company has been on a downward trend ever since.
Whether Tupperware can find the missing tups (tubs) and become unbankrupt remains to be seen but, for now, the fate of this once-fresh brand appears to be sealed… in a Tupperware container.
