Silver Hits New ATH, Is It The New Gold?

No.

Not content with an eternity in second place, silver has finally had a bigger rally than gold, doubling in value this year with a record 6% rise on Friday to a staggering $57.86 an ounce, completing a consecutive 6 days of winning.

Meanwhile, pathetic ‘gold’ only gained a shitty 0.6%, pffhhh. Yeah, it’s a record high for gold, too, but we’re used to gold being the winning metal. Boring. Move over.

Oh, wait, sorry, wrong graph, this is my heart rate, please, call an ambulance…

A Silver Lining

America’s gold reserve, Fort Knox, has said that they will be throwing all of their worthless gold into a lake and replacing it all with bars of sweet, sweet silver.

Athletes everywhere are saying they no longer want to sink their teeth into gold, but are hoping to win silver at their next competitive event.

Dictionaries have announced that they will be removing the terms ‘the gold standard’ and ‘worth its weight in gold’ and replacing the phrases with ‘the silver standard’ and ‘worth its weight in silver.’

And the next James Bond film has finally been announced, with a title to reflect this financial news, ‘Silverfinger’. Yes, the British super spy will face off against a man who covets silver above everything else like a weirdo.

FUN FACT: A kilogram of silver is heavier than a kilogram of gold!

Swedish pop group ABBA have said that they will release a new album of “even greater hits” called ‘ABBA: Silver.’

Rappers say they’ll be wearing silver grills and chains… errr… what else is gold?

Golden ticket? Golden brown? Brown sugar?

The sun? …no. Maybe that’ll do…

Needless to say, all that glitters is not gold; in fact, it might just be… something else. Silver? Maybe. Yes.

For more news that’s ‘gonna be golden’ (that’s a topical reference), read this: Gold Tops $4,000 For The First Time And The Reason Is Really Dumb

Latest news

Max Profit• December 1, 2025D

Silver Hits New ATH, Is It The New Gold?

Not content with an eternity in second place, silver has finally had a bigger rally than g...
Stonks
Max Profit• D

Silver Hits New ATH, Is It The New Gold?

Not content with an eternity in second place, silver has finally had a bigger rally than g...
Stonks