Top 10 Investments This Christmas

It’s Christmas time of year and we’re asking for presents, buying presents, giving presents and just all around moving money around in a circle. So what’s the really best present you can get? Money.

So here it is, after a year of watching the markets, here are the best investments from 2025 that’ll fill your stockings for 2026:

Number 10: SpaceX

By the time you’re reading this SpaceX could easily be a public company and by that point you’re already too late. But if you happen to be a SpaceX employee, Elon Musk or in a position to mug someone with SpaceX shares, I’d take it.

Number 9: Nvidia

I mean, come on, the world’s most valuable company? It goes without saying it’s on this list. $5 trillion dollars worth of money in value? Yeah, I’d like a piece of that action. The only question is, why is this at number four? What could possibly be a better investment than Nvidia?

Number 8: Shorting Nvidia

Let’s face it, what goes up must come down and Nvidia is up with not much anywhere else it can go. They said the Titanic was too big to fail, they said the same about the banks in 2000. Yes, 2026 will be the year the AI bubble burst and Nvidia will be the ones left with wet, soapy, sloppy hands.

Number 7: Reverse Cramer

A classic. Can’t go wrong. The only portfolio that’ll go all the way.

Number 6: Jesus, only six? I’m running out of ideas. Sure, Jesus, it’s Christmas after all, why not, invest in Jesus.

I mean, Pascal had it right, he’s an almighty super being that if he’s real you’re going to be very, very rich so might as well get in on the ground floor, spiritually speaking.

Number 5: Stonks

Like regular stonks but these go a bit more wiggly. Plus, extra bonus meme. Good invest.

Number 4: The dog track

I’ve got a sure thing on Lucky Trimmings, Thursday’s race. All your money on him, I’m telling you. It’s a sure thing.

Number 3: Wall Street Memes Casino Dot Com

Speaking of sure things: gamble all your money with us. It’s a great investment, promise. Hey, don’t forget this whole site is just an advert. I’ve got to shill my product now, don’t I?

Number 2: Warren Buffett’s Will

I mean, if you can get in there before it’s too late, I’m just saying, you’ll be minted, sire. MINTED.

Number 1: Yourself

No better investment. Forget everything above. If you want to make real dollar, invest in yourself. You’ve got this.

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