OpenAI Installs Giant Revolving Door to Facilitate Smooth Staff Transition to Microsoft

In a move that industry analysts are calling “practically literal,” OpenAI has installed an oversized revolving door at its headquarters, easing the transition for the 75% of its staff reportedly planning to join former CEO Sam Altman at Microsoft.

The new door, which OpenAI’s interim CEO insists is “merely coincidental” to the mass staff exodus, is designed to accommodate the swift and seamless transfer of employees between the two tech giants. Sources say the door is equipped with Microsoft’s latest facial recognition technology to ensure that only OpenAI staff with confirmed Microsoft job offers can pass through.

“We saw the writing on the wall,” said an OpenAI spokesperson, “and we figured, why not make it a literal giant door? It’s all about efficiency.”

In an unexpected twist, the door also seems to be reversing direction occasionally. “We’ve had a few Microsoft employees come through looking confused,” the spokesperson added. “They thought this was the new AI division Sam was heading up. We had to gently guide them back through the revolving door to their Uber.”

Microsoft, in a show of solidarity, has reportedly installed a matching door at its own AI division headquarters. “It’s like a portal between companies,” said a Microsoft insider. “One moment you’re developing cutting-edge AI at OpenAI, and the next, you’re doing it at Microsoft. All it takes is a step through the magic revolving door.”

The revolving door, while practical, has not been without its challenges. “We had a minor issue where the door spun too fast and accidentally sent an OpenAI data scientist to the cafeteria instead of Microsoft,” the OpenAI spokesperson revealed. “But we’re working out the kinks.”

OpenAI’s latest innovation has not gone unnoticed by the rest of Silicon Valley. Rumor has it that other tech companies are considering similar installations. “It’s the future of employee mobility,” an industry analyst commented. “Why resign via email when you can just walk through a door?”

In a statement, Sam Altman praised the initiative: “This revolving door symbolizes the fluidity and dynamism of the tech industry. Plus, it’s pretty fun to walk through.”

As more OpenAI staff make their way through the revolving door, the only question that remains is: Will it spin in the other direction should they choose to return? “We’re keeping our options open,” said the OpenAI spokesperson, with a wink. “After all, it’s a revolving door.”