Elon Made Head Of Efficiency, Immediately Fires Self

In the wake of Donald Trump’s successful election campaign and Elon Musk’s successful bribe, Trump has appointed the tech billionaire to head up the Department of Government Efficiency. Looking to make quick cuts, Elon immediately fired himself and dissolved the department.

As Trump’s first presidency already demonstrated, a government is just like a company in every single way, and a person who can kind of run multiple companies at once can probably handle little government on the side. Elon runs a lean ship: at Tesla, he replaced all the drivers with AI, at Twitter, he replaced all the users with bots, and all the letters in the name with just one. Much more efficient.

Now Musky Man is expected to make similar changes to government, replacing all government officials with Grok and ‘The Federal Government of the United States of America’? Ugh, what a mouthful, how about just a nice, lean 𝕏.

When Trump forms his government next year, Elon will head up the advisory team alongside entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy, who has also been pre-fired and replaced with an AI to save money. The board will exist for exactly 4 minutes and 20 seconds which Musk says is more than enough time to make the necessary changes to the government before dissolving the agency (group? council? It’s not actually a department, they’re just calling it that… idk, flock?).

The committee has been dubbed “The Department of Government Efficiency” which isn’t very efficient to say so you can just call it DOGE to save time. THIS NAME IN NO WAY CONSTITUTES MARKET MANIPULATION TO ARTIFICIALLY INFLATE THE PRICE OF DOGECOIN IN WHICH MUSK HAS A LARGE STAKE. No, Musk has already made $70 billion off the election, hoarding more money would simply be… inefficient.

DOGE joins the likes of Space Force, the Board of Tea Appeals, and the CIA in a long list of government agencies that you can’t believe are real.

Commenting on Musk, Trump said, “When Elon Musk came to the White House asking me for help on all of his many subsidized projects, whether it’s electric cars that don’t drive long enough, driverless cars that crash, or rocketships to nowhere, without which subsidies he’d be worthless and tell me how he was a big Trump fan and Republican, I could have said, “drop to your knees and beg,” and he would have done it,” in a 2022 Truth Social post.

More recently, however, Trump has called the initiative, “The Manhattan Project of our time” which is apt because Musk greatly enjoys blowing up rockets and electric car batteries. Here’s hoping that, unlike Oppenheimer’s project, Musk’s won’t get hundreds of thousands of innocent people killed, however efficient it may be.