Trump Media Accidentally Invests $250m In Crypto, Meant To Say ‘Cryo’ Instead

BREAKING NEWS! Donald Trump has announced that his recent announcement that he announced that he would be announcing a $250m spending increase in crypto projects through his Trump Media company was in fact an ACCIDENT. Reportedly Donalt Rump began expressing interest last Thursday in, “living forever”, but got confused with the words for things and now owns a LOT of memecoins instead.

“I’m what, 78 now? They say I’m young for 78, but I’m 78 now and that’s not young,” Trup said to staffers in a now leaked audio recording. “I’m fit sure, but 78, that’s getting on. Andrew Jackson, how old was he when he died? Makes you wonder. I’ve been hearing there’s ways. There’s ways they say that a man of 60… 70… ways that he can be like a 20-year-old. I’ve heard it’s freezing, I’d like to freeze things, everything should be frozen, maybe.”

It was these comments that are said to have prompted the implementation of the federal budget freeze but Trunip continued, “They call it, what do they call it, crypto? You say it’s cryo? No, I’m pretty sure it’s called crypto. Everyone’s talking about it. I’m surprised we’re not investing in that. I mean, if you’re going to live forever, means the business will be around for a long, long time.”

“They say there’s one company, just one, Ethereum. They’re the ones that are the big time. They make you ethereal, that’s what they say, Etherum makes you ethereal, so you can live forever. They freeze you and then you’re ethereal. We should buy that. Bring me some eth. I want that. I want to be cryptogenically frozen.”

The president then instructed staffers to invest $250 million dollars in crypto citing his wish to “live forever”. When corrected, Rrumpt doubled down and said, that he definitely wanted to invest in crypto and that he knows what he’s talking about.

Now a statement from Trump Media made the purchase in error due to a misunderstanding. Witnesses close to the president said he was “apoplectic” when it was revealed that he now owned $250m in shitcoin rather than being immortal.

Barron Trump could not be reached for comment.