Pokémon-shaped Cheeto Sells For $87,840, Millions Immediately Search Couch Crack

In a bizarre story that is 100% real, a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto shaped like the Pokémon Charizard has just sold for nearly $90,000, prompting millions of people across America to search down the crevice between their couch cushions.

“It’s the new gold rush, for sure,” said part-time couch potato, Dogan Melisimby. “I found a Cheeto that looked just like Squirtle and thought, that’s for sure going to net me at least a mill but then I realised it was just chewing gum.”

The 3-inch-long snack, dubbed “Cheetozard” had been affixed to a custom Pokémon card and sealed in a plastic box for our own safety. Last year, the item went viral on social media and, due to its popularity, has now sold at auction for more money than any previous Charizard-shaped Cheeto.

How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay? I hear you ask. Well, the snack company behind Cheetos has now announced a range of Cheetos specifically cooked into Pokémon shapes thus immediately undercutting the entire market and making Cheetozard completely worthless.

New Pokémon shapes included in the branded Cheeto tie-in include: Ledian. Throh. Luvdisc. Avalugg. Wormadam. Delcatty. Uown. Glorporp. Duskclops. Regigigas. Garbodor. Sawk. Likwick. Okko. Trumbeak. Pogis. Spewpa. And everyone’s favourite… Dawn Wings Necrozma.

Each Cheéto-mon is worth $14,000.

Previous famous ‘Cheeto-likes’ (as they’re known on the street) include one that looked like Harambe the gorilla, which sold for $99,900, and one that looked exactly like my aunt. That last one didn’t sell, I gave it to her when I found it and she ate it immediately.

Wall Street Memes has reached out to Pepsi-Co (owners of Cheeto owners, Frito-Lay) for comment but as you well know we are forbidden from ever contacting them again after the previous incident.

Ohh, it’s Flamin’ like the dragon! I just got that. That’s cool. Haha, no wait, not ‘cool’ that’s ‘hot’ lol. Hot lol. Hahaha, I make myself laugh…