Trump To End Quarterly Reports, “Companies Shouldn’t Have To Reveal Anything!!!”
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The President Donald Trump truthed on a social that “Companies and Corporations should no longer be forced to “Report” on a quarterly basis,” suggesting that companies should be allowed to report biannually instead, or better yet, never.
This puts Trump squarely on the side of corporations over investors as less disclosure would potentially protect companies more and save on very expensive paperwork. Some economists, however, warn that this pending change would lead to more market instability and allow companies to hide potential losses from investors for longer.
As a lifelong champion of hiding sensitive information from others, Trump disagrees.
In a now deleted Truth (lie?), Trump went on to say, “Even better if we do away with these “Reports” entirely!!! COMPANIES SHOULDN’T HAVE TO REVEAL ANYTHING!!! What a business does is none of your business. THAT GOES FOR PRESIDENTS TOO!!! I DON’T HAVE TO RELEASE MY TAX RETURNS OR ANY EPSTEIN “LISTS”!??!!?@*&!!!!”
A switch to a 6-month reporting system would move America more in line with European and other global markets, which some say would ruin what makes our stock options enticing. “Why would we want to copy what those disgusting Croats are up to?” committed one commentator.
The change would also create problems for anyone trying to talk about reports casually in meetings and in conversation. A four-month report can be nicely shortened to ‘quarterly’; however, no such abbreviation exists for six-month reports. The suggested ‘sexterly reports’ was already shot down by HR as inappropriate.
Until Trump can find a suitable name, the change is unlikely to catch on.
For my quarterly report, read this one: Farewell! DOGE Cuts Funding For Satirical News Articles
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