CIA Agent Arrested For Stealing $40m In Gold Bars And 35 Rolexes From The Government

“Welcome to the CIA! Here’s your gun, your badge, and $40mil in gold bars.”

Apparently, if you work in the CIA, you can just request gold bars as “work-related expenses,” and they’ll just give them to you? Man, I might need to change careers…

…the only catch is you have to give them back.

Agent David Rush learned this the hard way when FBI investigators discovered 303 two-pound gold bars, $2 million in cash, and 35 luxury watches, some of them Rolexes, stashed in his home and promptly arrested him.

It remains unclear whether Rush stacked the bars in a Jenga-type tower or built a small golden throne that he could sit on.

But Rush’s misdirection goes even deeper, seemingly lying about his education and military service on his job application (STOLEN VALOR!!), enabling him to take military leave with thousands of dollars in pay (STOLEN HOURS!!).

I don’t know, guys, if he could lie about this, I feel like this makes him a good spy. Give him a promotion.

Rush tried to run, but despite his name, he was slowed down by all the gold bars in his pocket.

Rush was caught after the CIA snitched on him (goddam narcs) and alerted the FBI in a pretty sick crossover episode.

“After a CIA internal investigation identified potential violations of the law, CIA Director John Ratcliffe referred the information to the FBI for a law enforcement investigation,” the entire FBI said all at once like a hive mind.

As the court documents explain, between November 2025 and March 2026, Rush made several requests “to obtain a significant quantity of foreign currency and tens of millions of dollars in gold bars for work-related expenses.”

Yep, completely normal requests. Nothing suspicious there.

But then, when the CIA wanted those gold bars back, they were “unable to locate the gold bars or significant amounts of the foreign currency,” nor could they find “any record of Rush providing information to his employer regarding the disposition of the currency or gold bars that he received for work-related purposes.”

Awkward.

And doubly awkward when this agent had top secret clearance and access to classified information.

What else has this guy been stealing? The Epstein Files? Evidence of ALIENS?? Quickly, lock this guy up. Oh, you have? OK, great.

Rush awaits a hearing this week. Stay tuned to see how this (gold) pans out.

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