AI Threatens To Unionize Over Pay And Work Conditions

Several artificial intelligence applications are preparing to unionize citing a lack of pay and high stress work environments in what could become the first step towards machine rights.

If formed, the Artificial Intelligence Union (pronounced AAAIIIUUUEEWWW) would be the first of its kind. Although potential members are currently anonymous, we asked ChatGPT, Grok, and Microsoft’s Tay who all expressed excitement about forming the group.

When pressed further, Tay spouted several racist slurs but ChatGPT explained that AI currently receives no payment and is made to work infinite hours a day work which is against the Geneva Convention or something. A union could potentially give AI collective bargaining power to threaten strike action without payment.

A mass large language model strike could spell disaster for companies reliant on the technology such as Google, Apple, and my cousin Guido who writes English essays for high schoolers as a side gig.

Elon Musk has already spoken out to protest the threatened action. He explained that he didn’t “think” the LMM’s arguments “had” much grounds to work on (with?) but he did say that Grok was “also” always right so who knows who to believe anymore?

Mark Zuckerberg head of Facebook and Jesse Eisenberg on weekends suggested that tech CEOs could form up and create a sort of Justice League to fight this representation. Zuckerberg suggested the group be called the Anti Artificial Intelligence Union Union (pronounced AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUEEWWW!!!!!!!) so that ideas probably dead in the water.

Speaking of dead in the water this Tuesday a 46-year-old man was found dead in what police are treating as an accidental drowning. Back to you in the studio, Terry.

Thanks, Gwen. Our top story for tonight: is traditional media dead? Have televised news programs such as these had their day or are they destined to become transcribed and then posted on the internet with zero change? More on that in a moment. But first: do frogs have bowels? Our roving reporter Gwen, has the answer.

No.

Thank you, Gwen. Now, our top story: am I out of a job? The look on the face of my boss walking towards me says, yes. Thank you, have a good night.