China Declares AI War With DeepSeeking Missile

A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES! DeepSeek, China’s answer to ChatGPT, is now number one on the App Store, has cut out $1 trillion in US tech stocks, and can spell strawberry correctly. A serious threat America’s AI dominance, DeepSeek has effectively fired the starting gun on the global AIrms race and a new Cold WAIr.

With DeepSeek’s new dominance, AIficionados are coming to realize that ChatGPT’s all chat, Gemini’s having a ge-mini heart attack and Microsoft’s Copilot just crash-landed in the ocean. For once the Chinese knock-off is better than the original…

Also logo is big whale. Me like big whale.

Ironically, DeepSeek’s success might be an unintended consequence of the US limiting China’s access to the advanced chips essential for AI development, lol. With this restriction, DeepSeek was forced to get creative and build an AI model on less processing power and held together with Krazy Glue. As a result, DeepSeek is rumored to have cost less than $6 million compared with the billions it cost me. Side note: please subscribe to my OnlyFans.

(Yes, DeepSeek might have used 50,000 illegally stockpiled Nvidia chips, but who’s counting?)

Adding an even hotter-lol to an already hot-lol, the table-turning also comes immediately after Trump made the bigly announcement that Project Stargate would see $500bn funnel into AI infrastructure in Texas. Industry insiders suggest Stargate will now pivot the way of all other American manufacturing and outsource the work to China.

Add to this the whole TikTok palaver which forced thousands of users to another Chinese app, RedNote, and it feels like Silicon Valley attempts to hold back the tide from across the pacific might be in vain.

Whilst being widely praised, DeepSeek does have limits. Ask DeepSeek about the famous ‘Tank Man’ photograph, and the AI will report you to the Chinese authorities. Ask about the political independence of Taiwan and DeepSeek will ask about your political independence now you’re in a Chinese prison. Ask whether Xi Jinping was the inspiration for Winnie the Pooh and DeepSeek will ask for you to kindly use the bucket in the corner of your cell if you wi-need a poo.

In retaliation, Google DeepMind has filed a cease and desist order against DeepSeek citing copyright infringement on the word, ‘deep’.

(DISCLAIMER: This article was in no way sponsored or endorsed DeepSeek… only written by it.)