It’s Christmas Day, Why Are You Reading This?
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Merry Christmas! Happy Xmas! Heri za Kwanzaa! And all the above!
What are you doing here? It’s Christmas Day, and you’ve logged into Wall Street Memes Dot Com? Do you really have nothing better to do?
I don’t know what to tell you. There’s no financial news to speak of, and I’ve not really got anything funny to say. Look, see, look, nothing, I’ve got nothing.
I mean, this is the best I can do, take it or leave it: Melania’s Christmas Budget Uncertain Following Trump Spending Freeze
Are you really that bored? What, have you opened all your presents, eaten all your turkey? Argued with your weirdly-forward Uncle? Maybe you could pull a cracker or two? Is there really nothing left for you to do on today of all days?
Ok, if you’ve not dont all that then do something, go home. Call your mom, storm a stranger’s house wailing carols, honestly, literally anything would be better than reading the words in front of you right now.
Wall Street Memes is hardly improving stuff at the best of times, but seriously, today is not the day when you’re going to be gaining from this interaction.
Why am I still here? Oh, well, because I have to be here. I’m paid to be here. I don’t have a family or friends to go to, so I volunteered, I said, yeah, sure, I can take the Christmas shift, I don’t mind, I’ve not got anything better to do…
…hey, I guess that’s you too.
Well, hi. I’m sorry we’ve both got nothing else on today but now I’m not so sorry to see you. I guess, I doesn’t matter if I’m the only one to say it to you today, and even if we are both lonely strangers communicating across the internet, I just want to say…
…Merry Christmas.
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