Chipotle Stock Just Tanked And It’s All You Young People’s Fault
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These goddam kids. You aren’t drinking. You aren’t clubbing. YOU AREN’T EATING CHIPOTLE???!! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!””!??!??!??
Chipotle has avocados. Chipotle’s famous for it’s avocados. You should love it there. But ohhhhhh, no, you just want to do your stupid TikTOKs and eat beans at home.
Chipotle stock (CMG) is down 19%, thanks to you. This is the third quarter in a row that Chipotle’s had to cut its sales outlook, you idiots. Are you happy?
As Head Chipote, Scott Boatwright explained, “A particularly challenged cohort is the 25- to 35-year-old age group.”
“This group is facing several headwinds,” the CEO said on a call with analysts, “including unemployment, increased due loan repayment and slower real wage growth.”
And that’s the thing, Chipotle aims squarely at that demographic. They will literally kick you out of the restaurant if you’re under 25. I know, I’ve tried.
Why do you think they had all those memes about Chipotle? You think that was for fun? No, that was a psy-op. That was marketing. AND YOU’VE ALL STOPPED FALLING FOR IT YOU DOUCES!!
Yes, unemployment is up to 9.2% at the moment, yes, no one can afford a house, let alone Chipotle, BUT I DON’T GIVE A STEAMING CRAP. I want you out there eating those hot and sweaty burritos IF IT KILLS YOU.
Now, i don’t want any more excuses. Steal your mum’s credit card, rob the louvre, I don’t care, I will not have my precious CHIPTOLE die because of this.
You better do a GameStop and turn this thing around or so help my god.
For more food related stonks, read this: Elon Branches Out In Fast Food, Tesla Stock Tumbles
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