Mark Cuban Bought This $25 Million Mansion Without Even Seeing It And Somehow Got 50% Off

Billionaire shark-who-is-also-a-human, Mark Cuban, bought a house that’s now worth $25 million dollars in money BUT THE CUBE got it for half its value at the time. For all you maths freaks out there, that’s a massive 50% discount.

So how did he do it? Well, it’s because the owner lost everything in a stock market crash and was forced to sell it. Oh, that’s not a very nice story. Wait, what’s that, the original owner spent three years building it himself for his wife and family? Oh, that’s really sad actually.

But who gives a DAMN about sentimental value. The CUBE knows a good deal when he sees one and this shark smelt blood in the water.

So good in fact that Mark bought the place without even looking round it. Calling it a “why the fuck now purchase.” Yeah, billionaires can just do that sort of thing.

“I’d never seen the house. I saw some pictures. I’d never been there. I was like, F–k yeah. I’m a billionaire.”

I hate you, Mark.

24,000 Mark Cuban-ic Feet

But there’s a lot us norms can learn from that, you know? For example, “Saving 30% to 50% buying in bulk—replenishable items from toothpaste to soup, or whatever I use a lot of—is the best guaranteed return on investment you can get anywhere,” said Mark in a 2010 Forbes interview.

Sure, yeah, OK, so bulk buy toothpaste, soup and mansions, got it. Great financial advice, nice. We can really learn a lot from this guy.

So, why are we talking about this now? Well, this purchase was back in the 90s and I have literally no idea why this is back in the news again. Fortune just ran a story on it but why tho? I guess it was a slow news day. It’s not like anything is happening in the world right now. And as the intrepid journalist that I am, I just blindly copied their headline without whether the content was even topical.

But hey, I guess you learned something today. Or if not, at least you had some fun and for a brief moment forgot the fact that you’ll likely never own your own home. Oh, damn, sorry, I reminded you again, my bad!

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