Apple Shifts iPhone Production To India, You’ll Never Guess What Happened Next

BREAKING NEWS: In two completely unrelated coincidences (that are in no way connected to one another), WAR has broken out between India and Pakistan mere days after Apple Inc. announced plans to shift all iPhone production to India.

Apple recently increased Indian iPhone production (basically the same as normal iPhone production but in India) by 60% for a total of $22 billion worth of tech. Now that’s either a lot of iPhones or just one really expensive iPhone.

Meanwhile, IN COMPLETELY UNRELATED NEWS, India and Pakistan have recently increased airstrike production by 100% for a total of just lots and lots of people being dead now. So that’s fun.

Apple CEO Tim Cook has explained that they are deeply saddened by the recent development and are confused as to why anyone is suggesting that they are somehow involved.

Conspiracy theorists are pointing out that this is just another example of Apple stoking an international conflict as a subliminal marketing strategy.

“Just look at the letters,” explained local weirdo, Martin Eeems, “Israel-Palestine… India-Pakistan… I-P… I-Phone. Checkmate, atheists.”

Mr. Eeems is an idiot, however, and there is no conspiracy theory, just economics.

The initial decision to switch production to India came about as a way to circumvent the worst of Trump’s tariffs on China. The outbreak of war, however, might scupper Apple’s plans, and Cook is rumored to be looking to move production to more peaceful countries like Palestine or Ukraine.

When asked whether they would be making a U-Turn on their India plan, however, Apple’s response was, “What, and make iPhones in America? Like Trump wants us to do? Ew. Hell no.”

Apple faces a significant market drop since the news hit, but I’m not sure why anyone is surprised. Apples famously fall from trees.

As for the war, who knows what will happen, but everyone at Wall Street Memes is praying for a swift end to the conflict and that no more innocent blood is shed.

For more distasteful comedy, click here: Israel Attacks Sweden in Desperate ‘Bamboozle’ Strategy