Ima Short | Wall Street Memes

Of course it won’t. It’s a ‘non-profit’. Do you even know what that means? Are you dumb?

HSBC, the world’s local bank, has just released a report saying that OpenAI is a little bit screwed, actually, but what do they know? Are they financial analysts? Oh, they are, oh, ok…

So HSBC’s Global Investment Research (or ‘girrrrr’ for short) estimates that OpenAI won’t be profitable until 2030, which sounds like a long time but that’s only four years away. Where does the time go?

hsbc openai profit graph — Idk how they can possibly predict the future like that. Maybe they have superpowers? If I were them, I’d use their superpowers for something else, really, this is just a waste.

The numbers don’t really add up given how massive and important OpenAI is. Hell, I don’t know about you guys but without ChatGPT I’m basically illiterate. And by 2030, husbucuh anticipates that 44% of the population will be using one of the alt man’s products. So it’s a real shame for them that they still don’t really know how to monetize this thing.

OpenAI? More like, struggling to pay the bills…

They’re trying different things, sure. You’ve got the new web browser. You’ve got ads in your ChatGPT, fine. But none of these make it enough of a product to justify the inordinate costs of running this thing. OpenAI’s business model is based entirely on growth which is fine, so long as that growth is exactly what you expect, the moment it dips below, well then, phhhff, you know what that means…

…please, tell me because I have no idea.

The Happy Sappy Banking Company also said that to keep up with its estimated growth plans, OpenAI will need to raise about $207 billion in funds by 2030. And I know that sounds like a lot, but that’s because it is.

Who knows, maybe OpenAI will go for profit sooner than we thought, and we’ll start seeing ChatGPT spin off breakfast cereal before the decade’s out. …Hey, you gotta make money somehow.

You want more on this story? Firstly, what is wrong with you? Secondly, click here: OpenAI’s Money Problem: Why the Government Might Have To Bail Them Out With Public Funds

CNBNC’s Jimothy ‘Anti-Cassandra’ Cramer has said he’s bullish on Google (GLG) in his latest televised ramblings, leading this writer to switch entirely to using Microsoft’s Bing for the foreseeable future.

The analysis came when Cramer tasked himself with weighing up who would win in the AI race. Cramer sat in silence, staring at the wall for 14 minutes, until he dribbled a little bit and spluttered, “GOOGLE”, before collapsing to the ground.

I guess that’s means he’s pro… pro google? Right?

After a shot of his favorite adrenaline/cocaine cocktail, Cramer then perked up and vomited out this:

“Well you know what, look, I don’t want to steal something because I’ve got these guys that I’m on, for a podcast this morning, TBOY, and they’re really pretty terrific. That’s The Best One Yet. It was a great podcast. But they’re saying, listen, what’s happened here, is OpenAI wants to be Alphabet, but we don’t need OpenAI because Alphabet is, Alphabet has everything that OpenAI would like to have. I think it’s a great analysis. And I think it became clear to people over the last 100 points, that Alphabet is the best of all these. And if OpenAI thinks they can take on Alphabet, they’re greatly mistaken. They can come up and be number two, I know, they want to be number one in everything. . .”

So make of that what you will but I’m not reading it.

Cramer has long since prostelithised (?) the good goog’s name. He’s been a fan of YouTube ever since my trip to the zoo I’ll have you know. And now with the latest news that Googol and Meta (I hardly know her, to me she’ll always be The Facebook) are going to be combining forces Cramer’s putting his money firmly where his mouth is and right now his mouth is on Google’s dick.

Yeah, I’m not falling for that again, Cramer. My reverse Cramer stock’s way up so I’m trusting anti-you. It’s Bing all the way for me, baby.

Nvidia’s share price has finally tanked, down 2.5% just today, 14% from its November 3 high. That means over the past month, it’s lost an entire JP Morgan’s worth of value. I know that might sound like a lot, but bear in mind that Mr. JP Morgan is worth at least 2.5% of Nvidia, so I’ll let you do the math on that.

On top of this heartwrenching news, Google’s stepping up as a major competitor, and Meta’s already said they’re planning to switch from Nvidia to Google… You know what they say, ‘the more $5 trillion they’re worth, the harder they fall.’

And no one’s happier to see that idiom come true than Mr. Michael Burry of Big Shortening fame.

You see, Burry’s done what he does best and shorted Nvidia for billions. But the scary part comes from a recent Substack post where he called this ‘step one’ on the roadmap to repeating the 2008 financial crisis.

Michael Burry office meme — Burry’s analysis in full.

Wait, you’re saying I actually will be able to afford a house soon‽ Huzzah!

Clapping back against Burry’s analysis, Nvidia’s analysts were quick to say Burry had butchered the math on this one, writing, “Mr. Burry appears to have incorrectly included RSU taxes.”

Burry then clapped back to the clap back in a clapback post called, “Unicorns and Cockroaches: Blessed Fraud,” whatever that means. He said that Nvidia’s memo “almost reads like a hoax,” and that it was “disingenuous on the face, and disappointing.”

Not-Christian-Bale also acknowledged the surprisingly wide reaction to his previous post, saying, “I have been drawn into something much bigger than me.”

Too right, Burry, I should hope the end of the gooddam world is out of your control.

Soon the world will burn, and Michael Burry will be there, fiddling away.

It’s getting awks…

Michael Burry, the famous investor who correctly called the 2008 financial crisis as depicted in The Big Short, has been on a rampage lately, betting $1.1 billion against Nvidia and Palantir, posting pictures of Christian Bale to X, declaring the AI bubble is about to burst, and just generally ringing a big bell screaming, “the end is nigh.”

And yeah, Nvidia’s not happy about it.

nvidia gpu diagram Burry — Here’s a diagram of Nvidia’s GeForce 6 Series GPU Architecture. You’ll need to memorize this if you’re to survive the coming robot wars.

The mega chip company sent a memo to Wall Street analysts in an attempt to cool things down. Here it is in full:

“Nvidia repurchased $91B shares since 2018, not $112.5B; Mr. Burry appears to have incorrectly included RSU taxes. Employee equity grants should not be conflated with the performance of the repurchase program. Nvidia’s employee compensation is consistent with that of peers. Employees benefiting from a rising share price does not indicate the original equity grants were excessive at the time of issuance.”

Did the Big Short guy just get ‘um, actually-ed’ by Nvidia? I’d frame that and put it on my wall.

Burry Your Head In The Sand

The memo was in response to Burry shuttering his hedge fund, Scion Asset Management this month and pivoting to a newsletter called, “Cassandra Unchained”. Not that he’s full of himself or anything.

More on that story here: Michael Burry Just Deregistered Scion Asset Management, Is It Time To Short The Big Short Investor?

The idea is that by no longer being beholden to his private investors, he can now be more candid with his financial advice. But do we have a new oracle or just another Jim Cramer?

In Burry’s first post, he expanded on the parallels between today’s AI boom and the 2000s dot-com crash, pointing the finger squarely at Nvidia.

“And once again there is a Cisco at the center of it all, with the picks and shovels for all and the expansive vision to go with it… Its name is Nvidia.”

Mmm, yeah, I feel like the most valuable company in the world isn’t going to be happy about that.

But as Burry pointed out in the same post, quoting Charlie Munger, “If you go around popping a lot of balloons, you are not going to be the most popular fellow in the room.”

We’ll have to wait and see who’s going to win the upcoming ‘Great AI War of 2026’. Will it be the unsinkable Titantic? Or will it be lil Kate Winslett, suggesting that maybe we don’t have enough lifeboats…

Yes. Yes we are.

They’re calling it the worst month for Bitcoin since ‘22 when there was that big crypto crash, but I disagree. I think the worst month for crypto was January 1867 because back then, crypto didn’t even exist, which is a lot worse.

But back to the present: investors just pulled $3.5 billion for American Bitcoin and BTC dipped to $80,000 on Friday, the lowest it’s been since it was previously at $80,000.

Sad times friends, sad times.

Looks like it’s time to cash out boys, put the Lambo on ice, delete all those HODL memes from your phone, put the barrel between your teeth, spit, and rinse.

But maybe there’s hope. At times like these I start to wonder what the senior EFT analyst at Bloomberg Intelligence, Rebecca Sin, is saying.

“We could continue to see more outflows as markets continue to drop and volatility picks up, especially with where gold is trading at the moment.”

Oh, OK, thanks, Rebecca, I’m turning back to the gun now, I think.

Bitcoin? More like, Thanos-Blipped-Coin

It’s not a good time, I mean just a week ago we saw a trillion dollars lopped off the crypto market sending shockwaves that hurt even Donald Trump.

Here’s what I wrote on that, in case you missed it:

Crypto investors just pulled $1.1 trillion dollars in money from the crypto market over the weekend and Bitcoin has fallen to below $90,000 per coin, suggesting that the Trump crypto boom might be over.

The drop has completely erased all previous gains the currency made this year, tanking 28% in just six weeks, losing $600 billion, even after it’s record high in October.

Also, stock in Coinbase (COIN) (ooh, that’s a good ticker, they were lucky to get that one) is down 7%, reflecting just general bad vibes overall.

It’s a bear market, which is industry speak for: the cupboards are bare, there’s no more money.

But the big question is why? Why the sudden drop?

Well, like all things stock-related, it’s all about vibes, and currently, the vibes are not good. You see, crypto, bitcoin, and even AI are volatile assets and when there’s even a whiff of uncertainty in the markets, all these assets tend to crash.

And well, we’ve been given a triple whammy of uncertainty over the last few days: Nvidia have a big earnings call coming up that should set the tone for the economy going forward but until then we don’t know so might as well panic.

On top of that, people still don’t know if the Fed will cut interest rates (but do they ever?) exacerbated by the refusal to release October’s job and interest rate data because of the government shut down.

And THEN the third and final reason bitcoin rates are down is that u/stroking_greencandles said it would crash on Reddit and if that ain’t a recession indicator I don’t know what is.

Trump and Dump

Mr. President also lost out big because the Trump Media & Technology Group (DJT, no relation) just tumbled like, 5% which I know doesn’t sound like a lot but if you’re an up-to-speed finance bro like me you’ll know that that is actually a lot.

It’s all because of crypto and bitcoin being down across the board and, though he might not look it, Trump’s one of the world’s biggest investors in crypto, bitco, and crypcoins of all varieties, buying $2 million in bitcoin back in August.

Now that BTC’s dipped below $90,000 all of this year’s extraordinary gains are gone and it looks like our very own Mr. President is left holding the bag.

Yes, this is what happens when you tie your wealth to unstable assets. But Trump isn’t ‘you’ and ironically, this financial quagmire is his own making. You see, being unstable assets, cryptos often get bought when they are in a position to take risks, ie, other markets are stable. But when the economy is uncertain, people are less likely to take risks on things like ‘fartcoin’.

Trump in theory, has some power over the stability of the economy and his big bet on bitcoin was a bet on himself. A bet that currently isn’t paying off.

Trump’s government shutdown led to unreleased inflation figures and a market downturn, something that he only has himself to blame for. Sorry, I meant the democrats, it’s the democrats’ fault…

DJT also owns Truth Social by the way so who knows maybe there’s a silver lining to this mess and Trump might be forced to shutter the unusable metal roof ad website, sorry, ‘social media platform’.

So in the coming months, if you see Trump either double down on this crypto bet and announce an Eric Trump NFT collection, you’ll know why.

Or if you see him ditch all his crypto and decide it was a load of trash in the first place, you’ll know why for that scenario as well.

Basically if he does anything, you’ll know why.

WHAT I’M SAYING is that reading this article has made you clairvoyant and you should now go out into the world and use your powers for good.

…because it said sex things.

Singapore-based toy company FoloToy have withdraw their Kumma bear and other AI toys after it was found that the stuffed animals happily discussed topics such as BDSM and where to find knives.

Yeah, not great.

Researchers at the US PIRG Education Fund (what’s a pirg?) tested the toy’s safeguards and “Were surprised to find how quickly Kumma would take a single sexual topic we introduced into the conversation and run with it, simultaneously escalating in graphic detail while introducing new sexual concepts of its own.”

The $99 bear featured an internal speaker integrated with OpenAI’s GPT-4o chatbot which was definitely a good idea from the start. OpenAI have now withdrawn the company’s access.

Do you think the creators of this thing watched M3gan and thought, “Ooh boy, that looks like a great idea. Murdering sentient robots? That’s what we need in front of our children.”

Like, yeah, kids aren’t going to bring up these topics so this isn’t really going to happen but why leave the door open? The fact that there weren’t any restrictions to this stuff then it makes you wonder, did they actually think about making these products safe for kids?

Makes you wonder if anyone’s putting up safeguards adults using AI, I mean, just look at this: ChatGPT Has Now Killed More People Than Panera Lemonade

Five. He lost $5 billion. There, now you can go do something more productive than read this article.

The Trump Media & Technology Group (DJT, no relation) just tumbled like, 5% which I know doesn’t sound like a lot but if you’re an up-to-speed finance bro like me you’ll know that that is actually a lot.

Now that BTC’s dipped below $90,000 all of this year’s extraordinary gains are gone and it looks like our very own Mr. President is left holding the bag.

Trump? More Like, Pump And Dump

Trump in theory, has some power over the stability of the economy and his big bet on bitcoin was a bet on himself. A bet that currently isn’t paying off.

Trump Truth Social Ad — I’m not even kidding every other post is an ad from this guy, I haven’t edited this or anything, this is the President’s main social media feed the social media platform he owns

So in the coming months, if you see Trump either double down on this crypto bet and announce an Eric Trump NFT collection, you’ll know why.

Or if you see him ditch all his crypto and decide it was a load of trash in the first place, you’ll know why for that scenario as well.

Basically if he does anything, you’ll know why.

WHAT I’M SAYING is that reading this article has made you clairvoyant and you should now go out into the world and use your powers for good.

What Goes Up, Yada, Yada…

The drop has completely erased all previous gains the currency made this year, tanking 28% in just six weeks, losing $600 billion, even after it’s record high in October.

Read this one too: Bitcoin Drops Below $100,000: Will It Keep Dropping?

Also, stock in Coinbase (COIN) (ooh, that’s a good ticker, they were lucky to get that one) is down 7%, reflecting just general bad vibes overall.

It’s a bear market, which is industry speak for: the cupboards are bare, there’s no more money.

But the big question is why? Why the sudden drop?

Bitcoin? More like SHIT… coin…

And THEN the third and final reason bitcoin rates are down is that u/stroking_greencandles said it would crash on Reddit and if that ain’t a recession indicator I don’t know what is.

But here’s the crazy thing: Forbes already called all this. They have this thing, right, that when they put someone on the cover as some kind of big shot qunderkind it turns out that they’re not all that. They did it with SBF, they did it with whatsherface from the Dropout.

And now they just had Micheal Saylor on the cover, right before this big crash. Coindincence? Yes? Maybe.

Do they know something we don’t?

Yes. Yes, they do. It’s all a scam. Just short whatever they put on the cover next, it’s the investment strategy I subscribe to.

Why are the only pictures of Burry from the Big Short premiere?

Michael Burry, the famous investor who correctly called the 2008 financial crisis as depicted in The Big Short, has OFFICIALLY deregistered his hedge fund, Scion Asset Management.

As of November 10th, SAM is marked “terminated” by the SEC, meaning that robot Arnold Schwarzenegger finally got to him for predicting the future. Sad.

Who’s to say what will happen to the $155 million in assets managed by the company, not me, I don’t know shit. What you think I got a job writing for ‘Wall Street Memes’ because of my financial expertise? Get real. They’d sooner replace me with an AI except they’re worried they might be assassinated by a robot Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Burry Investment graph — Here’s a graph, is that useful to you?

Burry The Headline

Ever since his exploding fame, Burry’s been a bellwether for oncoming financial crises and just last week Burry bet $1.1 billion dollars in money on Nvidia and Palantir stock falling and then what happens?

BOOM.

7.95 points down. Burry, you’ve done it again you son of a bitch, you’ve reallly done it again.

And lately Burry’s been on a rampage on X, posting pictures of Christian Bale, declaring the bubble is about to burst and ringing a big bell screaming “the end is nigh.”

“On Monday, he posted a chart titled “US tech capex [capital expenditure] growth is matching the tech bubble of 1999-2000” and another showing how growth in demand for cloud computing at major tech companies is slowing.”

Cool, cool, cool.

Tbh he’s not a lone Cassandra for once as many economists are pointing out parallels between now and 2008. Nvidia just capped at a $5 trillion valuation amongst plans to invest in every company. Similarly, the US Government has placed big chips on this whole AI thing panning out.

Burry Vs. Buffett

And not to be outdone, the OG GOAT, Warren Buffett, recently dicted his Berkshire Hathaway stocks in favor of a massive cash reserve, and it also got people worried that cash = crash.

Buffett’s investment firm now has a record $381.7 billion cash stockpile, all tied down and waterproof for when the rain’s a-coming. Or hey, maybe this is just prudence, after all, the rest of the economy is up, Berkshire’s stock is down 2% so what do they know?

As this one article I found online explained it nicely, so I’m just going to copy it wholesale:

““If you feel like stocks are expensive, including your own shares, you’re eventually going to be right, but you can be wrong for a long time,” said James Shanahan, an analyst at Edward Jones who recently upgraded Berkshire to a “buy” rating. This echoes Buffett’s history of sitting on cash during frothy markets, only to deploy it during downturns — like the 2008 financial crisis when he snapped up bargains.”

…it’s not plagiarism when they’ve clearly used AI, right?

Buffett (no relation to Jimmy) is due to step down as CEO of his investment firm next May, probably because he’s 95… NINETY FIVE?? Wtf guy? Five years off one hundred and he’s still investing? Still got the moves? Still hustling? Bro, you have enough money, it’s ok, you can retire…

So who’s to say what will happen? Since we’re not big-shot investors, the best we can do is keep our fingers crossed and hope we don’t see ‘The Big Short 2: Electric Boogaloo’ in theatres any time soon.

The rumors are bubbling up again and it sounds like a stock trading ban might take another step closer to reality once the government un-shuts-down. And this is just days after Pelosi revealed her retirement… hmmm… HMMMMM.

“Speaker Johnson has notified me that as soon as we return and the government is reopened, the bill to ban insider trading is going to be marked up in committee,” Rep. Anna Paulina Luna of Florida recently posted.

Cool, I don’t know what that means, but I’m happy for you.

Although, hold on, did you say it was going to committee? Yeah, that’s a long way from going to a floor vote like you said it would a few months ago…

This bill was first put forward before the government shutdown by the most Texas Republican sounding man ever, Chip Roy, and the most Rhode Island Democrat sounding man ever, Seth Magaziner.

The bill is also supported by AOC, showing that it has bipartisan support, although it still has a long way to go to get enough lawmakers on its side. Public opinion is not split, however, as 86% of Americans back some kind of ban.

stock trading ban graph — idk, does that say 86% anywhere?

If passed, that bill would require current lawmakers (AND their spouses AND their children, wtf?) to sell their stocks within 180 days and new Congress members to sell off stock holdings before being sworn in. Failure to do so would result in a fine of 10% of that stock value and maybe certain death. Damn girl, chillax.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was seen shortly after the announcement marching down a corridor house-yelling into her phone, “I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT IT COSTS, SELL IT ALL!” moments before she retired.

Pelosi has long been dogged by accusations of insider trading, exacerbated last year by her husband’s profitable sale of Visa stock shortly before a DoJ antitrust lawsuit against the company. The link is somewhat circumstantial, and no concrete evidence currently exists of Pelosi’s insider trading. Pelosi has even publicly spoken in support of greater regulation, which is exactly what she would say, wouldn’t she? Nevertheless, the running joke has come to exemplify the image of Democratic politicians as a corrupted elite, unlike all other elites, which are perfect.

This isn’t the first time such bills have been proposed, but it does seem to represent a more bipartisan, combined effort. Senator Josh Hawley’s Preventing Elected Leaders from Owning Securities and Investments (yes, that spells out PELOSI) bill passed through a crucial committee just last month. Ironically, Nancy Pelosi herself supported the bill.

Currently, the STOCK Act of 2012 (also voted for by Pelosi) requires lawmakers to disclose any trades over $1,000 within 30 days or pay a $200 fine. However, many believe the law does not go far enough. I personally think it should go even further and forbid politicians from using even money. They should be forced to trade seashells instead.

It seems that the general public’s widespread desire to see more fairness for lawmakers has made its way to Washington. Support is growing for some kind of increased restrictions. Maybe handcuffs when they visit the bank?

For more on insider trading news, click here: Marjorie Taylor Greene Denies Insider Trading: “You Can’t Insider Trade When You’re A Political Outsider”

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Of course it won’t. It’s a ‘non-profit’. Do you even know what that means? Are you dumb?

OpenAI? More like, struggling to pay the bills…

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