Jerome Powell Receives Mysterious Poison-Scented Package, Signed ‘Love, Trump’, For Christmas
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Despite doing his bestest recently to end up on the President’s Nice List, it looks like Jerome Powell has received something a little worse than coal this year…
Little Jay Powell was so excited come Christmas morning that he woke up extra early, bounded down the stairs and found waiting under the tree a large present especially for him. Yippee!
But upon approaching the gift, JP saw that it emanated a mysterious green gas that smelled distinctly of arsenic. Little J. then checked the tag, and yes, it was addressed to him, but it was from none other than Don ‘the president’ Trump.
Jerome Powell? More like, Jerome POW, take that!
Jerome was heartbroken. He’d done everything he could to be good this year. He’d lowered interest rates at least once. He’d renovated the fed. He’d even bribed the right politicians. Was the federally appointed Elf on the Shelf even watching?
Well, it was all for nothing, Santa still wanted you dead and there was nothing you could do to change that.
Pow-pow is, of course, a prudent fellow so he had the present incinerated humanely but needless to say, Mr. Trump won’t be getting a Christmas card this year and Jeromey-boy is going to have to watch his back from here on out.
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