Kamala Insists On Bringing Cardboard Cut-out Of Trump To Future Interviews

After a heated Fox News grilling, Vice President Kamala Harris has made it her new rule that for all future interviews she must be allowed to bring along a life-sized standee of Donald Trump.

“It’s unfair that Trump refused to go on 60 Minutes, refused this Fox interview, but Kamala still has to do them?” said Democratic campaign strategist Tori Obleson. “I think we should be allowed to bring along a cardboard cutout of him so he can get asked the same questions and let his silence speak volumes.”

Kamala mentioned her campaign rival multiple times during ‘Bret Baier’s BBQ Bonanza!’ (as it was officially marketed) and said it would just be easier if she could have a cardboard cutout to point to. The Harris campaign will provide its own standee, as it already has a slightly damaged one left over from debate practice.

The Vice President was asked direct questions on her changing policy positions, her performance as VP, and whether she thought Biden had it all together, you know, in the mind department, all of which she dodged, often diverting back to Trump.

“She’s not running on her own, she’s not running against Biden, she’s running against Donald Trump,” continued Obleson in a weird counterargument. “Alright, I admit, she’s not a perfect candidate, but who is? That’s not the question, the question is whether she’s better than Trump and that’s why we want his cardboard cutout there in the room to remind people who she’s in contrast with. Trump. Donald Trump. You gonna vote for the crazy guy? I don’t think so. …Did I mention Donald Trump?”

When asked exactly what Kamala stood for, however, Obleson got agitated and unfolded a pocket-sized Trump standee to wave in our face.

The Harris campaign has recently focused on podcast appearances, for which a standee would be useless but Obleson already has a plan. “I have this recording of Trump speaking, but I’ve cut out all the consonants so it’s just his vowels and it sounds like a dying walrus. It’s very entertaining for me. For podcasts, that’s what we’ll do. ‘Kamala, that answer wasn’t ideal but let’s compare it to Trump’s response: *walrus noises*.’ It’s a fool-proof plan.”

For more information on the Democratic campaign head to, “Kamala Harris dot… Kam”.