South Korean President, Yoon Suk Yeol’s bid to regain control of parliament by declaring martial law has backfired and now his opponents are looking to impeach the unpopular politician. But Yoon has found a friend in Donald Trump who reportedly rang the disgraced Prime Minister to assure him that he had nothing to worry about.
Over the hour-long phone call, Trump is said to have calmed down Yoon by saying that impeachment hardly means anything anyways.
“They said I’m like a peach or in a peach or they want to put me inside of a peach and I thought that’s not very nice I don’t even like peaches. What, I bruise easily? No, I’m a tough guy. But they said, no, they want to fire me and I said let ‘em try and they did and then they failed so I’m not sure why they kept saying peach when the peach didn’t do anything so if you’re about to get peached too I’d say let ‘em do it, they let you keep the job, if anything it makes you more popular.”
Sources who heard the call said the South Korean President responded by explaining that no, this wasn’t like a pathetic American impeachment, this would probably end his career to which Trump offered him a seat in his future cabinet. They then discussed golf for the rest of the call.
Yoon will likely be disappointed not to engage with Trump in an official capacity as Yoon is said to have taken up golf for the first time in eight years to prepare to for a Trump presidency. Thankfully Yoon will likely have much more time for golf in the near future.
Yoon is also famous for crushing it in a Halloween costume competition and being a spring onion, or something, I don’t know, I can’t read.
Pundits are still discussing why Yoon even declared martial law in the first place with some suggesting that South Korea’s declining birth rate might have been a motivation. …Oh, wait that’s ‘marital’ law. He didn’t impose that. That might have made sense.
Who knows, maybe Korea will one day be able to live in peace with its corrupt politicians but until that day I’m sure we can all agree on the definition of impeachment.
