Trump And Putin Finally Reunite, “The Long Distance Relationship Was Killing Us”

El Presidente Donaldo Trumpo finally reunited with long-distance lover, Vlad “The Lad” Putin this weekend at an Alaskan military base to discuss the Ukraine ‘problem’.

“It’s just not the same in person,” explained Trump. “It might be small, but it’s not small enough for that little microphone hole, are you kidding me? I don’t know how other people have phone sex.”

Here’s a segment from the weekend’s official agenda:

• Hugs.
• Kisses.
• BIG catchup.
• Ice skating?
• Churros!
• (Oh, and discuss Ukraine if there’s time)

They make such a cute couple.

When the pair finally did get around to the blue-yellow elephant in the room, they ended without a deal or an agreement for a ceasefire. Oh well, I guess they ran out of time. (The meeting ended early.)

The main headline is that Trump failed to agree to a ceasefire agreement and TACOed the can down the road by suggesting they shouldn’t bother and jump straight to a peace agreement. This is despite Ukraine and Europe angling for a ceasefire so Putin can prove he can be trusted BEFORE a peace agreement. What use is an agreement if he’ll just break it?

It sounds like Trump failed to get a ceasefire on the table, so is suggesting a peace agreement instead.

Like a tiny dog that barks loudly until the gate is opened, Trump will hurl insults and talk a big game from behind Truth Social but get him in the room with these dictators and he likes to roll out the red carpet (literally) cosy up to them and achieve very little in terms of meaningful negotiations. We saw it with North Korea, we’re seeing it again with Putin.

Trump will meet with Zelensky at the White House today and likely tell him everything he wants to hear. If that meeting goes well, Putin will join the talks and I guess be invited to join a three-way?? Watch this space.

For more on this story, read here: Putin Admits To Using Secret KGB Method Of ‘Crossing Fingers Behind Back’ In Negotiations