Author: Max Profit

Following the election of Donald Trump, Elon Musk has declared, “My work here is done” and has shut down the social media website formerly known as Twitter, which now goes only by the unpronounceable symbol, ‘𝕏’.

Musk explained in a statement that when he bought the website two years ago for $44 billion he knew he was overpaying but saw a vision of the site as a platform to support the reelection of Donald Trump.

During the campaign, Elon appeared at Trump rallies, used his social media account to voice support for the ex-former president, and legally bribed voters to register in swing states (can we say that?).

Now that Elon Musk has achieved his goal and earned a cool $21 billion in the process, the website has been shut down, all X employees have been fired and the offices have been sold to Spirit Halloween.

The strategy almost makes sense but confusingly Elon has also stepped down from his role as CEO of SpaceX, Tesla, and another secret company suspected to be Security Fence and Supply Co. Inc. based in Wisconsin. This would somehow imply that Musk also saw his role in these companies as part of some grand plan designed with the sole purpose of achieving Trump’s re-election. Huh.

Several meme accounts responded unfavorably to the news with one obscure meme account, Mr. @Arthurmeme01, writing, “NOOOOOOO” which of course no one read because X doesn’t work anymore.

Musk has not released a statement since announcing his retirement but was last seen boarding a Falcon Heavy rocket assumed to be destined for Mars where his hidden Martian colony is based. The colony, only recently revealed, was constructed in secret over the last decade by Security Fence and Supply Co. Inc. based in Wisconsin.

It is unclear whether Musk will work in his promised role as head of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) or if the 15-minute communication delay between the planets will make things too inefficient.

I guess we’ll all start using Threads now, then? Ugh. ok. OK! Fine. I’ll do it. Here I go… I’m making an account… I’m logging in… Oh, this is literally just the same thing. Ok, fine I guess I can use this. Alright… Byee!