Stocks Bounce Back After Trump’s Greenland U-Turn, Here’s What Happens Next
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We are all just a ship on the ocean, buffeted to and fro, merciless to the great wave that is Donald Trump.
And the tides have turned once more, the storms have receded, offering a moment’s respite for a “framework for a future Greenland deal” has been agreed and the tariffs have been dropped, huzzah!
Wtf does that mean? Well no one knows. The details have not been released and still need to be agreed by Greenland, Denmark and the US. But! It does mean that the stock market has bounced back in anticipation of this sunny future of endless peace and no wars.
The news also came with the unveiling of Trump’s ‘Board of Peace’, a newer, cooler NATO, aimed at an “everlasting” peace in the middle east at first and then once that’s sorted maybe, y’know, Ukraine if there’s time.
A bunch of countries have signed up but not the UK because maybe Russia will join and they’re not fwends wight now 🙁.
Oh and also you had to pay to join? Like a billion dollars or something, idk I’m not looking it up again, but it’s crazy, like it feels like just more corruption, right? Like, Trump’s mad at NATO so he makes a newer cooler one where he’s the chairman and everyone has to pay him.
Like, great if it solves things but I’m not expecting world peace from the guy who threatened to invade Greenland, the guy who literally said peace wasn’t a priority just because he didn’t get a medal for it.
But whatevers Trevors, the headline is that the stock market is stabalizing thanks to the diligent work of TACO Trump. So for now, it’s smooth sailing. Thank you, Mr. Trump!
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