Trump Plans Own State Where He’s Always on the Ballot

Former President Donald Trump has announced his plans to establish a new state, named ‘Trumplandia’. This announcement comes hot on the heels of Maine’s decision to bar Trump from the presidential primary ballot, closely following Colorado’s lead.

“Maine and Colorado might not want him, but in Trumplandia, he’ll be on the ballot forever. It’s going to be tremendous,” an advisor declared from the gold-plated balcony of his Mar-a-Lago estate.

Trumplandia, as envisioned by Trump, will be a state like no other. Located somewhere between the realms of reality and the best bits of a Monopoly board.

The state’s constitution, reportedly being drafted on the back of a McDonald’s napkin, includes groundbreaking laws such as “The Donald is always right” and “Every day is Trump Day.”

The state’s electoral system is said to be revolutionary. “In Trumplandia, we have elections every week, and I win them all. It’s a fantastic system, really the best,” a spokesperson explained.

Political experts are baffled by this development. “It’s like he’s creating his own version of Disneyland, but instead of Mickey Mouse, we have Trump in a wig,” commented a political analyst who’s been following Trump’s career with a mix of horror and fascination.

As for the location of Trumplandia, sources close to the former president suggest it might be somewhere in international waters, possibly on a giant floating platform. “We’re not letting things like ‘international law’ or ‘basic geography’ slow us down,” a Trump aide said off the record.

In closing his announcement, the team assured Trump supporters that Trumplandia would be the greatest state ever. “It’ll be like nothing you’ve ever seen. We’ll have the best of everything – the best ballots, the best elections, and most importantly, the best president for eternity.”