Trump Just Unveiled A Plan To Rotate The Lincoln Memorial 45 Degrees And No One’s Talking About It

Genuinely no one seems to have noticed…

Last week, President Donald Trump announced his plan to build America’s very own Arc de Triomphe, but better because it won’t be French.

If approved, the proposed stone archway (mockingly dubbed the Arc de Trump) would be built across the Potomac from the Lincoln Memorial, on the current site of a roundabout in Virginia.

But look at this picture, LOOK AT IT!

This is the model display that Trump used to unveil the plans for the arch. You can see the Ark Of The Covenant in the distance there and the Lincoln Memorial in the foreground, but there’s one little problem…

In real life, the Lincoln Memorial isn’t in line with the Arlington Memorial Bridge; it’s in line with the National Mall (that square of darker green at the bottom).

This can only mean that Trump PLANS TO ROTATE THE ENTIRE LINCOLN MEMORIAL 45 DEGREES.

No, there’s no way they just got it wrong on the model or set it up like that because it looks better, no, the plan is BURROW UNDERNEATH THE MONUMENT, RAISE IT UP ON HYDROLIC JACKS, TURN IT EVER SO SLIGHTLY, AND THEN PUT IT BACK DOWN.

Honest Abe will get his very own hora (that’s the Jewish chair dance you uncultured swine). We can all sing Hava Nagila. It’ll be fun, you should come alone.

The building will then sit completely misaligned from the Washington Monument, the White House, and the Capitol, but at least it’ll line up with the arch, that’s the important thing.

The Arc D’rump is just one part of Trump’s plan to do what every real estate developer does best: gentrify! He also plans to build a $250 million ballroom onto the White House. All just so Trump can do the YMCA, apparently.

It’s unclear how much constructing the arch, rotating Lincoln, building the ballroom and digging a network of secret passageways connecting them all will cost but rest assured it’s worth it.

Alright, that’s enough of that, Trump, hit with your best moves! *Trump starts to do the Floss* Everybody!

Hava nagila! Hava nagila! Hava nagila ve-nismeḥa! HEY!

For more Trump construction news, read this: Trump Slashes Social Security to Fund Diamond Hands Statue