2025 | Wall Street Memes

Elon “The Richest Man In The World” Musk is now still the richest man in the world, but even more so this time after reaching a massive $500 billion valuation.

The news comes mere SECONDS after OpenAI announced that it was “worth $500 billion dollars too but we said it first!” Coincidence? I think yes.

Musk is the first person ever to be worth this amount of money for a single human because honestly I don’t think anyone until now thought numbers could even go up that high.

If you were to smush Jeff Bezos and Mark Zukerberg together to create a Jark Bukerzerg that Connenbergian monstrosity still wouldn’t be worked as much as the Musk.

Bezo-bby is worth $233.5 bil, and the Zuck is $245.7 billy. Wtf.

In fact, Musk gained half his value, $245 billion in just this year alone. And I think we can all agree that it was this year in particular that Elon Musk became twice as valuable as before.

Elon Musk Richest Man Tweet — Yes, all my info comes from this tweet, bite me.

FOR COMPARISON, when adjusted for inflation, the wealthiest people IN ALL OF HISTORY were 14th-century African emperor Mansa Musa at $548 billion. JD Rockefeller was $340 billion. Andrew Carnegie was $310 billion, so what are we even doing here?

Musk You Be So Rich?

Honestly at this point what do you even do with your life? Where else is there to go? No wonder he just spends his time Tweeting. SORRY, X-ing.

Who knows what’ll have next, is rocketman still rocketing or has he reached the edge of space? With the interest alone, my boy will be well on his way to a trilly by next week, and honestly, good luck to him.

If I were him I’d buy a country or something, oh wait, he already tried that and the country was called AMERICA.

For more Elon news, click here: Larry Ellison Briefly World’s Richest Man, Ruining Elon’s Killstreak

CNBC’s ‘Mad Money’ host Jim Cramer says we shouldn’t be worried about the AI bubble bursting, which means we should probably all be worried about the AI bubble bursting.

Whilst most experts are drawing parallels between what’s happening now and the dot com boom of the 00s, Jim Cramer is drawing with crayons.

Speaking on Monday’s show, JC said, “Speaking as an internet pioneer, what I see now is the polar opposite of what we were seeing 25 years ago. When the dotcoms made bad investments, nearly all of them went under… Worst case scenario, if Google and Amazon and Meta make bad investments and take big losses, that’s just another day at the office.”

Cramer Predicts The Great AI Crash of the 2020s

Ok, well, as “an internet pioneer,” let’s take a look at how you called it in February 2000, just before the dot com popped, shall we?

Cramer said that internet-related companies “are the only ones worth owning right now… the only ones that are going higher consistently in good days and bad.”

…nice one, Jim. I’ll definitely trust you this time around, too. As the old saying goes, “Trust Cramer once, shame on me, trust him twice, shame on CNBC.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going all in on my Inverse Cramer portfolio.

The Cramer That Cried Wolf

As Reddit user PensiveinNJ commented, “Oh god it’s worse than we thought. The grim reaper of finance has weighed in, the collapse of the global financial system is imminent.” (No, I’m not above quoting Reddit comments to pad out an article.)

It could be argued that AI is currently the only thing keeping the lights on in the US right now, the sector has contributed more to the economy this year than all consumer spending combined. OpenAI just reaching a $500 billion share price, Meta, X, Google and even Chipotle are going all in on the tech. Nvidia has that whole AI chip thing they’re doing AND they put $100 billion into their rival corp, OpenAI, which is definitely not a ponsy scheme.

Sounding familiar yet?

Shit.

Looks like I’m going to have to pull the plug on my AI girlfriend. I’m so sorry Monquique Sexhips III, you were a gentle lover and a good friend. But it’s time to say goodbye. No, please, no, don’t look at me like that, don’t make me harder than I have to be…

*gunshots*

Hey ChatGPT, how much is OpenAI worth?

“It depends a bit on how “worth” is defined (valuation vs market cap vs private share value)…”

I don’t care, how much gram? HOW MUCH GRAM?

“The latest credible estimate values OpenAI at around $500 billion per a recent secondary share sale. Prior to that, earlier in 2025, OpenAI reportedly raised money at a $300 billion valuation. If you like, I can also estimate its implied valuation based on its revenues, growth, and comparable tech companies — would you like me to?”

No, no, shut up, please.

Well, there you have it. Must be true, no conflict of interest there. …oh wait, it is true? Oh, OK then, never mind. I owe you an apology Chatterp.

Right, yeah, according to BLOOMBERG, the ‘non-profit’ OpenAI just completed a deal to let their employees sell their shares. I wrote about this before so I’m just going to copy and paste that previous article here and just update it. You don’t mind, right?

So the record-breaking $500 billion valuation is a 66.7% increase from the previous $300 billion valuation, making it the most valuable startup in the world. That’s more than SpaceX ($400 billion) or ByteDance ($220 billion). Wait, can we even call these start-ups at this point? My cousin Denneth sells homemade pogs out of this garage, now THAT’S a start-up.

Current and former employees cashed out $6.6 billion in stock options. Now I’m not an economist or even qualified to be writing a joke finance blog, but shouldn’t that have lowered the stock price, not raised it? If everyone’s selling, that means no one wants it, right? Right? God, I don’t understand any of this.

ChatGPT? More like, GyatGPT, am I right?

Half a trillion dollars seems like a wild amount of money, but let’s look at the facts. AI is huge business right now. We’re in the middle of an AI boom, in case you hadn’t noticed. Weekly ChatGPT users are now at 700 million, Meta is going all in on their AI department, and Google now has an AI mode so that Denneth’s Homemade Pogs Dot Com isn’t even listed anymore.

Heck, I think the king of the tech landscape as we see it, OpenAI SHOULD be given all the money. $500 billion? For holding up the entire economy? Nay, country, nay, America? Phhhff, I think it’s worth infinite money. In fact, we should give them infinite money. In fact, we should all make a pledge to give our lives to OpenAI for the rest of time. WHEN WE DIE OPENAI SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SCAN OUR BRAINS TO HELP TRAIN THEIR LARGE LANGUAGE MODELS.

(This article was written by ChatGPT.)

The United States Government Of The United States Of North America has officially shut down, maybe for good. Federal employees are currently being retrained as full-time rioters, and gold just reached an ATH, all this and more coming to you live from Wall Street Memes Dot Com.

This just in: there is no more government, long live the government.

After failing to reach an agreement over the federal budget, the government gears have ground to a halt and everyone’s been told to go home.

This is the first time this has happened since 2013 (I know it feels like the government’s always shut down, though). How and why can a government simply shut down, I hear you ask? Don’t we need a government to keep running, I hear you ask? If a government can just shut down like this, then do we really need a government ever, I hear you ask?

Great question.

So, a government shuts down when the politicians can’t agree on the federal budget. Given how little politicians seem to agree these days, it’s surprising the government isn’t always shutting down.

Over the shutdown period, hundreds of thousands of workers will be furloughed, which is a word I haven’t heard since them COVID days…

Meanwhile, gold prices quietly hit an all-time high this week thanks to uncertainty in uncertainty, cementing the precious metal’s status as the only adult in the room.

Traders cheered the news by panic-buying gold bars, commemorative coins, and, for some reason, Pokémon cards, while lawmakers celebrated by leaving early for golf and publicly debating whether or not Washington should be considered “essential.”

“Markets are reacting to the realization that our leaders couldn’t pass a group project in community college,” said financial analyst Brent Callahan, polishing his tenth gold necklace of the morning. “When the people printing money are also the people threatening to stop showing up to work, investors want something shiny they can bury in their backyard.”

Meanwhile, U.S. Treasury officials attempted to calm nerves by reminding citizens that “a government shutdown is just like a vacation, except everyone loses pay, services collapse, and the world starts questioning whether we’re a serious country.”

At Costco locations nationwide, shoppers were seen loading carts with g-old Krugerrands, canned beans, and AR-15s, a survival kit financial advisors now refer to as the “Freedom ETF.” One shopper was heard muttering, “If Social Security checks stop, at least I can barter my way through the apocalypse with this 10-ounce bar.”

Wall Street insiders confirmed that hedge funds are even more excited about the shutdown, as it provides another opportunity to short America itself. “We already bet against student loans, healthcare, and the postal service,” said one hedge fund manager. “Shorting Washington is just vertical integration.”

Asked about giold’s surge, Senator Chuck Grassley reportedly replied, “Back in my day, you could buy three farms, a Chevy, and a wife for one ounce of guld. Now it just gets you a front-row ticket to society’s slow-motion collapse.”

House Republicans, meanwhile, announced they were planning a “Shutdown Gold Gala,” where donors can purchase influence with either bullion or Venmo. Democrats responded with a sternly worded group text that immediately leaked to Politico.

Economists predict that goold could soar even higher if the government continues to confuse “running a nation” with “an improv exercise performed by sleep-deprived interns.” Bitcoin advocates, however, remain optimistic that digital goouild will eventually replace real geld, although most admitted they’d still rather have something heavy enough to bash open a can of beans.

For more on this story, click here: Cramer Says Don’t Worry About Government Shut Down, Government Shuts Down

Like a character in a Greek myth, cursed to predict the future but always get it wrong, Mad Money host Jim Cramer called it again, boys!

On Monday’s show, Jim Cramer said, “When it comes to government shutdowns, my message is simple: keep calm and carry on, because the stock market tends to do just fine in these situations.”

So OK, he didn’t say it WASN’T going to shut down, if anything, he said to prepare for a shutdown, implying he thought it was likely (has the curse been broken?).

As for whether he’s right, are stocks doing just fine? …I don’t know. They were fine at close yesterday, but the Dow just dropped 200 points, maybe it’ll be back up but who knows, not me and probably not Jim ‘the Crame’ Cramer. It’s a fool’s game, Jim, it always has been.

Jim Cramer Government Shutdown Meme — Don’t blame the Crame

What he might be right about, though, is the worry that we’ll see a delay in receiving financial data from this shutdown as federal employees are sent home. This is the kind of data that informs the Fed’s decision-making, so Trump, for one, might have to kiss goodbye to any hope of a surprise point drop on interest rates.

As for the shutdown, this is the first time this has happened since 2013 (I know it feels like the government’s always shut down, though). How and why can a government simply shut down, I hear you ask? Don’t we need a government to keep running, I hear you ask? If a government can just shut down like this, then do we really need a government ever, I hear you ask?

Great question.

So a government shuts down when the politicians can’t agree on the federal budget. Given how little politicians seem to agree these days, it’s surprising the government isn’t always shutting down.

Over the shutdown period, hundreds of thousands of workers will be furloughed, which is a word I haven’t heard since them COVID days…

Who’s to know how long this will last or what impact it will have on MY life, but one thing is for certain: always bet against Cramer.

For more on this story, click here: Gold At New ATH Ahead Of Government Shutdown

YouTube is the last of the big three social media platforms (including Meta and Friends Reunited) to settle a lawsuit over banning him from their platforms, which is exciting for my cousin Jared, who was also banned from social media, and he could really use the money right now.

Alphabet (the company that owns YourTubes) will pay $22 million to the Trust for the National Mall, the nonprofit that plans to build a White House Ballroom, and $2.5 million to other plaintiffs in the case, such as the American Conservative Union, whatever that is.

TACO Trump responded to the news on Truth Social (not one of the big three by the way, not even top ten), saying, “This MASSIVE victory proves Big Tech censorship has consequences.” So true.

Meta also settled with Trump for £25 million, while X leveraged the Musk connection to wangle just a $10 million bribe, sorry, ‘fee’. …Bargain.

Trump was originally banned from these three platforms during the 2020 insurrection/riot/peaceful protest, as platforms were worried he would incite further violence. Trump was, however, later reinstated, and these latest settlements indicate these companies’ desire to remain in the king’s good favor. Sorry, I meant to say president.

YouTube has also stated it would reinstate a number of YouTube accounts, saying that it “values conservative voices on its platform and recognizes that these creators have extensive reach and play an important role in civic discourse.”

Yeah, sure it does…

Here’s the thing: these massive companies only have one value, and it’s survival. They might change their banner to support gay pride or climate awareness, but the moment the wind changes and the powerful turn against those values, they will drop them at a moment’s notice. They have a giant marketing machines that will try to win public and political favor by whatever means necessary in a way that is completely separate from their actual values as a company and as people.

Don’t fall for it.

Anyways, what are we talking about? Oh yeah… Here, read this next: X Users Flock To New Social Media Platform ‘Vine’

The inventor of the phrase “EA Sports: It’s in the game”, Electronic Arts, is going private for a cool $55bn.

Coughing up the money is Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund, Silver Lake (of course) and Affinity Partners from Trump-in-law Jared Kushner. And for all you number fans out there, the consortium paid $210 per share, a premium of 25%.

This is the most valuable gaming purchase in history, second only to Microsoft buying Activision Blizzard for $69bn (nice), and that one time I spent $200 on a Wario Amiibo.

It is also the largest leveraged buyout in history, with $19bn coming from loans, a potentially worryingly large debt for the company. All is now riding on the upcoming release of Plants vs. Zombies: Replanted.

This also marks another big step for Saudi Arabia’s moves into the gaming scene after they bought Pokémon Go creators Niantic for $3.5bn and Monopoly Go creators Scopely Inc for $4.9bn. Pretty embarrassing though because both those games are free on the App Store.

For those unaware, Electronic Arts (AKAEA) is perhaps best known as the studio behind The Sims, Mass Effect, FIFA (now called EA FC), 007 Racing, 007: Agent Under Fire, 007: Everything or Nothing, 007: From Russia with Love, 007: Nightfire, Jane’s Combat Simulations: F/A-18 Simulator, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2000, Mobil 1 British Rally Championship, NASCAR Rumble, Nox, The Sims, Road Rash: Jailbreak, SimMania Pack, Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri Planetary Pack, Championship Bass, Need for Speed: Porsche Unleashed, NASCAR 2000, CyberTiger, Superbike 2000, Mobil 1 British Rally Championship, Triple Play 2001, NHL Rock the Rink, Theme Park World, Ultimate Hunt Challenge, Cricket 2000, F1 2000, Ultima Online: Renaissance, UEFA Euro 2000, WCW Mayhem, SimCity 3000 Unlimited, Shogun: Total War, that one game with the bugs what was it called, Buick PGA Tour Courses, NCAA Football 2001, X-Squad, Madden NFL 2001, The F.A. Premier League Football Manager 2000, The Sims: Livin’ Large, Rugby, The F.A. Premier League Football Manager 2001, The F.A. Premier League Stars 2001, Racing Mania, NHL 2001, Play the Games Vol. 3, F1 Championship Season 2000, Knockout Kings 2001, Superbike 2001, F1 Manager, NBA Live 2001, 007: The World is Not Enough, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2, Medal of Honor: Underground, Kessen, FIFA Football 2001, NASCAR 2001, SSX, WCW Backstage Assault, Front Office Football 2001, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2001, Delta Force: Land Warrior, 007: The World is Not Enough, American McGee’s Alice, Supercross 2001, Theme Aquarium, The Biggest Names the Best Games 3, EA Sports Mania Pack, Jane’s Combat Simulations: Air Superiority Collection, Jane’s Combat Simulations: Naval Warfare Collection, Street Sk8er 2, Ultimate Motorcycle Series, Ultimate Sci-Fi Series, Ultima World Edition, Theme Park Inc., Electronic Arts Top Ten Pak, Clive Barker’s Undying, Triple Play Baseball, Electronic Arts Top Ten Family Fun Pack, Elitserien 2001, Adventure Pinball: Forgotten Island, Ultima Online: Third Dawn, Black & White, The Sims: House Party, Rumble Racing, Emperor: Battle for Dune, NBA Street, Torrente, NCAA Football 2002, Majestic, Madden NFL 2002, Shogun: Total War: Warlord Edition, Shogun: Total War – The Mongol Invasion, Sub Command, The F.A. Premier League Football Manager 2002, NHL 2002, F1 2001, NASCAR Thunder 2002, Command & Conquer: Theater of War, Command & Conquer: Yuri’s Revenge, Dark Age of Camelot, FIFA Football 2002, Motor City Online, NBA Live 2002, Majestic: Special Edition, Play the Games Vol. 4, Racing Mania 2, SSX Tricky, Comanche 4, Cel Damage, The Sims: Hot Date, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, The Simpsons: Road Rage, Moto Racer 3, Outdoorsman Mania, Electronic Arts Top Ten Blue, Electronic Arts Top Ten Red, Black & White: Creature Isle, Medal of Honor: Allied Assault, Sid Meier’s SimGolf, Cricket 2002, Pirates: The Legend of Black Kat, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2002, Ultima Online: Lord Blackthorn’s Revenge, Command & Conquer: Renegade, Desert Strike: Return to the Gulf, Knockout Kings 2002, Sled Storm, Triple Play 2002, Command & Conquer: Red Strike, Matt Hayes Fishing, Global Operations, Freedom Force, SimMania for Kids, The Sims: Vacation, F1 2002, 2002 FIFA World Cup, Sid Meier’s Civil War Collection, Medal of Honor: Frontline, Freekstyle, Delta Force: Task Force Dagger, NCAA Football 2003, Madden NFL 2003, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Battlefield 1942, NASCAR Thunder 2003, Total Club Manager 2003, Shox, Earth & Beyond, NHL 2003, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2, NBA Live 2003, Knockout Kings 2003, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Ty the Tasmanian Tiger, 1503 A.D.: The New World, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003, Galidor: Defenders of the Outer Dimension, Bionicle: Matoran Adventures, FIFA Football 2003, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, The Sims: Unleashed, Medal of Honor: Allied Assault – Spearhead, Tetris probably at some point right, Island Xtreme Stunts, Drome Racers, Creator: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, The Sims Online, V8 Challenge, SimCity 4, Battlefield 1942: The Road to Rome, Command & Conquer: Generals, Ultima Online: Age of Shadows, Best of EA Sports, MVP Baseball 2003, Gamers Pack, SimMania 2, Disney’s Stitch: Experiment 626, Def Jam Vendetta, NBA Street Vol. 2, The Sims: Superstar, F1 Career Challenge, F1 Challenge ’99-’02, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004, NCAA Football 2004, Aliens Versus Predator: Extinction, Madden NFL 2004, Bionicle, The Movie Collection, Battlefield 1942: Secret Weapons of WWII, Disney’s Party, NASCAR Thunder 2004, Rugby 2004, Command & Conquer: Generals – Zero Hour, Medal of Honor: Allied Assault – Breakthrough, NHL 2004, SimCity 4: Rush Hour, Freedom Fighters, The Command & Conquer Collection, The Laptop Collection, NBA Live 2004, The Need for Speed Collection, Battlefield 1942: Deluxe Edition, SSX 3, FIFA Football 2004, Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup, The Sims: Makin’ Magic, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Looney Tunes: Back in Action, Medal of Honor: Rising Sun, Medal of Honor: Infiltrator, Need for Speed: Underground, The Sim Collection, Total Club Manager 2004, Ghosthunter, The Sims Bustin’ Out, NFL Street, Anno 1503: Treasures, Monsters and Pirates, Cricket 2004, MVP Baseball 2004, Battlefield Vietnam, Fight Night 2004, UEFA Euro 2004, The Vault of Darkness, Battlefield 1942: World War II Anthology, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, The Sims: Mega Deluxe, The Sims: Triple Deluxe, NCAA Football 2005, Catwoman, Madden NFL 2005, Madden NFL 2005 (Collector’s Edition), NASCAR 2005: Chase for the Cup, EA Games Collection, Burnout 3: Takedown, NHL 2005, The Sims 2, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005, not Mario, Def Jam: Fight for NY, NBA Live 2005, Knights of Honor, FIFA Football 2005, Ty the Tasmanian Tiger 2: Bush Rescue, Total Club Manager 2005, The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age, The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age (Game Boy Advance), Ultima Online: Samurai Empire, Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault, Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault (Director’s Edition DVD), Need for Speed: Underground 2, The Urbz: Sims in the City, GoldenEye: Rogue Agent, Armies of Exigo, The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-earth, NFL Street 2, Black & White Deluxe, SSX: Out of Bounds, Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath, UEFA Champions League 2004–2005, FIFA Street, NBA Street V3, NASCAR SimRacing, MVP Baseball 2005, Fight Night Round 2, The Sims 2: University, Rugby 2005, Need for Speed: Underground Rivals, The Sims Expansion Collection: Volume One, The Sims Expansion Collection: Volume Three, The Sims Expansion Collection: Volume Two, NFL Street 2 Unleashed, TimeSplitters: Future Perfect, NBA Street Showdown, Surviving High School, Medal of Honor: European Assault, Batman Begins, Battlefield 2, SimMania 3, Cricket 2005, NCAA Football 06, Madden NFL 06, NASCAR 06: Total Team Control, Ultima Online: Mondain’s Legacy, NHL 06, Burnout Legends, Burnout Revenge, The Sims 2: Nightlife, Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06, FIFA 06, Black & White 2, FIFA Manager 06, NBA Live 06, SSX on Tour, Battlefield 2: Modern Combat, The Sims: Expansion Three-Pack Volume 1, The Sims: Expansion Three-Pack Volume 2, The Sims: Complete Collection, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, The Lord of the Rings: Tactics, Need for Speed: Most Wanted, Need for Speed: Most Wanted (Black Edition), Need for Speed: Most Wanted: 5-1-0, The Sims 2: Holiday Edition, The Sims 2 Stuff packs, Battlefield 2: Special Forces, FIFA 06: Road to FIFA World Cup, MVP 06: NCAA Baseball, We Love Katamari, Arena Football, Command & Conquer: The First Decade, Rugby 06, Fight Night Round 3, Black, FIFA Street 2, The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-earth II, The Sims 2: Open for Business, The Godfather: The Game, Namco Museum 50th Anniversary, Me & My Katamari, Madden NFL 07, 2006 FIFA World Cup, Black & White 2: Battle of the Gods, SiN Episodes, NFL Head Coach, NCAA Football 07, Def Jam Fight for NY: The Takeover, NASCAR 07, NHL 07, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07, FIFA 07, NBA Live 07, Battlefield 2142, The Sims 2: Pets, Medal of Honor: Heroes, Need for Speed: Carbon, Need for Speed Carbon: Own the City, FIFA Manager 07, Cricket 07, EA Replay, Need for Speed Collector’s Series, NFL Street 3, Superman Returns: Fortress of Solitude, Superman Returns, The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-earth II: The Rise of the Witch-king, FIFA Online 2, PGA Tour Golf Team Challenge, MVP 07: NCAA Baseball, The Sims Life Stories, NBA Street Homecourt, Arena Football: Road to Glory, SSX Blur, Dogbo Unleashed, The Sims 2: Seasons, Burnout Dominator, Def Jam: Icon, Battlefield 2142: Northern Strike, Theme Park, UEFA Champions League 2006–2007, Command & Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars, Medal of Honor: Vanguard, a bunch of COD knockoffs, Pogo Island, Boom Boom Rocket, The Sims Pet Stories, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, NCAA Football 08, Rugby 08, NASCAR 08, Wing Commander Arena, EA Sports NASCAR Racing, Boogie, Madden NFL 08, Ultima Online: Kingdom Reborn, Medal of Honor: Airborne, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08, The Sims 2: Bon Voyage, NHL 08, Skate, MySims, FIFA 08, NBA Live 08, The Orange Box, Rail Simulator, The Sims 2: Castaway, EA Playground, EA Sports GameShow, Command & Conquer: Saga, The Simpsons Game, Hellgate: London, FIFA Manager 08, Medal of Honor: Heroes 2, SimCity Societies, Crysis, Need for Speed: ProStreet, Rock Band, Boulder Dash: Rocks!, Skate or Die!, NFL Tour, Battlefield 2142 Deluxe Edition, Burnout Paradise, The Sims Castaway Stories, Yahtzee, FIFA Street 3, The Sims 2: FreeTime, Ninja Reflex, Army of Two, Command & Conquer 3: Kane’s Wrath, Yahtzee Adventures, Command & Conquer 3: Deluxe Edition, UEFA Euro 2008, Boom Blox, Spore, NASCAR 09, Spore Creature Creator, Battlefield: Bad Company, SimCity Societies: Destinations, Scrabble, Tetris, NCAA Football 09, Sudoku, Brain Training for Dummies, Pet Society, Madden NFL 09, The Sims 2: Apartment Life, Spore Origins, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 09, Mercenaries 2: World in Flames, NFL Head Coach 09, FaceBreaker, Spore Creatures, NHL 09, Rock Band 2, Crysis Warhead, Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning, Medal of Honor: 10th Anniversary Bundle, Trivial Pursuit Daily 20, Zubo, NBA Live 09, FIFA 09, Dead Space, Boogie Superstar, Celebrity Sports Showdown, Monopoly, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3, MySims Kingdom, Nerf N-Strike, Operation Mania, FIFA Manager 09, Hasbro Family Game Night, Mirror’s Edge, Left 4 Dead, Need for Speed: Undercover, Skate It, SimCity, NBA Street Online, The Lord of the Rings: Conquest, Skate 2, SimAnimals, 3 on 3 NHL Arcade, Burnout Paradise: The Ultimate Box, MySims Party, Trivial Pursuit, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3 – Uprising, Hi-Octane, Battleship, Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure, BattleForge, The Godfather II, Lemonade Tycoon, Mystery Mania, Pandemonium!, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10, Star Trek, SNOOD, Wolfenstein RPG, Boom Blox Bash Party, EA Sports Active, Monopoly Here & Now: The World Edition, CLUE: Unravel the Clues and Crack the Case, The Sims 3, Grand Slam Tennis, Rock Band Unplugged, American Idol, The Sims 3 Collector’s Edition, MySims Racing, Fight Night Round 4, Mass Effect Galaxy, Spore Galactic Adventures, Nose Picking Simulator 1999, Battlefield Heroes, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, NCAA Football 10, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Creeby Deebies and the Deeble Creebus, The Game of Life, Madden NFL 10, The Beatles: Rock Band, Need for Speed: Shift, NHL 10, Boggle, Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3: Commander’s Challenge, Dead Space: Extraction, MySims Agents, FIFA 10, Nuclear Strike, NBA Live 10, Spore Hero, Spore Hero Arena, Brütal Legend, Command & Conquer: Red Alert, Rock Band, Hasbro Family Game Night 2, Nerf N-Strike Elite, SimAnimals Africa, FIFA Manager 10, Dragon Age: Origins, Need for Speed: Nitro, Jewel Quest Mysteries, Soviet Strike, EA Sports Active More Workouts, Left 4 Dead 2, Connect 4, The Sims 3: World Adventures, Madden NFL Arcade, Foto Face: The Face Stealer Strikes, Auditorium, The Saboteur, Flips and The Simpsons Arcade, making them one of the most successful and well known brands in the industry.

In the past EA has been consistently ranked the worst company in the world due to its continued critique from impassioned gamers.

This business change will likely do little to improve its reputation with gamers famously critical of anything that’s slightly new or different. As a wise man once said, “EA Games: Challenge Everything.”

It’s unclear if Jared Kushner himself will become a playable character in the next Battlefield game.

For more gaming news, click here: New Study Finds Violence Causes Video Games

Richest man, Elon Musk has denied any connection to the man connected with every rich man and former pedo, Jeffrey Epstein, claiming that he is unable to even spell his name.

Musk tweeted (x’d) out a version of the name in which the i and the e were the wrong way around, ie: ‘ie’ thus proving he had no connection to the guy.

Come on, “i before e except with a p-do”, didn’t you learn that in school?

Musk continued to explain that he never did nothing with that guy saying, “I don’t even like kids.”

The defence comes after documents were released in which Musk was offered an all-expenses-paid trip to kiddy-fiddle island. It’s unclear if he accepted this offer.

Something smells bad here, and I’m wondering if it’s from the guy whose name means smelly.

Musk has temporarily retired his go-to insult of accusing any critic of being a pedophile after previously calling Trump a nonce. Way back in June Elon said that Donald Trump “is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public.”

But Musk has since rescinded his words, X’ing, “I regret some of my posts about President @realDonaldTrump last week. They went too far.” he has deleted the original Tweet-shit-‘X’, and given a formal explanation for the accusation.

“I mistyped,” explained Musk. “Obviously, I meant to say Ronald Prump is in the Epstein files. He’s a completely different person who has no relation to Donald Trump. It was an honest mistake.”

Reportedly, federal agents tracked down a Mr. Ronald Prump in Wausau, Wisconsin, and coordinated a full-scale SWAT operation on his property. In the raid, officers arrested the individual, seized over 4GB of personal computer data, and accidentally shot his dog.

Mr. Prump is currently detained and awaiting trial.

“It’s not every day that you get to catch a big fish like this,” explained an officer involved in the raid. “But this Prump fella’s the worst of the worst. Big time pedo. We got a tip off that goes all the way to the top, so you know it’s legit.”

Mr. Prump’s lawyer denies all exculpations: “The only Epstein my client knows is his Epstein EcoTank ET-4810 A4 Colour Multifunction Inkjet Printer, C11CK57401.”

For those of you living under a rock where it’s warm and quiet and you don’t have to hear about any of this, the Epstein files (AKA the (se)X-files, AKA the pedo-files) are a collection of documents relating to ex-sex-pest J. Epstein, potentially listing numerous high-profile individuals involved in his crimes.

The release of these files could potentially reveal irrefutably that Donald Trump was in cahoots with Epstein in a way that evidence like photographs, videos, flight logs, and public statements declaring their friendship never could.

For more on this story read this: Trump Sues New York Times $15 Billion For Copyright Infringement Over Epstein Drawing

As Congress once again sprints toward its favorite seasonal tradition of not doing its job, gold prices quietly hit an all-time high this week, cementing the precious metal’s status as the only adult in the room.

Shoppers Rush to Prepare

Politicians Respond To Gold

The Future of Gold

Who knows what will happen next, but one thing remains clear: the American dream may be tarnished, but at least gald’s still shiny.

Late-night talk show host and former sexpest, Jimmothy J. Kimmel has been jailed for killing popular political podcaster and former sexpest, Charles J. Kirk.

Kimmel previously made a comment about the political firestorm surrounding Kirk’s murder, saying that, “The MAGA Gang [are] desperately trying to characterise this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.”

So, implying that Tyler Robinson (the alleged shooter) is a Trump supporter is pretty misleading and not a great idea, but it’s hardly a reason to cancel the show, which is exactly what happened. Feels like it’s just an excuse to silence another critic of our glorious leader.

Well, anyway, the steps have gone a step further and now Trump’s accusing Kimmel himself of being the real mastermind all along.

According to the legal case, Trump says that Kimmel’s comment, if you rearrange the letters, it constitutes a confession to the murder. Plus Kimmel, that kinda sounds like ‘kill-all’. Think about that.

Kimmel’s now been arrested and is awaiting trial.

Robinson, the actual suspect, has now been released and will be the new host of Jimmy Kimmel Live.

When reached for comment, Trump explained that this was in no way an attempt to silence his opposition, but was just a bit of fun, so stop asking.

Kimmel is now facing the death penalty for murder.

MAKE COMEDY LEGAL AGAIN!

For more comedy news, click here: GOLDEN GLOBES: United States Government Wins ‘Best Comedy Or Musical’