Jack Nicholson Re-enters Retirement Following Mark Gaetz Departure
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Acclaimed actor, Jack Nicholson has announced he has been forced to reenter his retirement having only just said he would return to acting to play politician Mark Gaetz.
Just two weeks ago, up-and-coming President Donald Trump named Gaetz his controversial pick for attorney general. Nicholson, who has secretly played Gaetz for years announced that he would end his retirement to take on the more public role.
In a surprise turn of events, however, Gaetz was recently dropped as Trump’s pick, and having already quit his job as Congressman, he has now turned to the celebrity video platform, Cameo, for work.
Gaetz/Nicholson is charging $500 for his Cameos in which users can pay for a personalized video message such as, ‘Happy birthday’, ‘Good luck on your veterinary exam’ or ‘I admit to paying multiple sex workers for sex acts’, whatever you feel like.
According to Jack Nicholson’s PR manager, Forston Bowls, this came as a relief to the aging actor.
“Gaetz would only pop up every now and then for a spicy congressional hearing or a sex-crime investigation so it wasn’t that much of a commitment for Jack,” Bowls previously explained. Following up on the new development he added, “Jack was pissed about having to act full-time as attorney general. I mean, he hates the character he created, feels gross just pretending to be this guy. But now it’s just doing Cameos, yeah, that’s a much easier workload for Jack. Now it can go back to being the side hobby it was always supposed to be.”
Nicholson’s performance as the congressman has earned near-universal acclaim, winning a Lifetime Achievement Oscar and a Kid’s Choice award for “Favorite Pretend Politician” narrowly beating out Meryl Streep as Nancy Pelosi.
“He began the project in the first place because I think he enjoyed the challenge,” continued Bowls. “Becoming completely immersed in a character is any actor’s dream. For this role, he only needed minimal prosthetics which was ideal. I’m still amazed so many people believe he’s a real person and not just a performance.”
Many still dispute the claim that Gaetz is Jack Nicholson with multiple ‘friends’ and ‘family members’ coming out to say, “No he just looks like that.” …but they’re probably actors too.
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