October, 2025 | Wall Street Memes

Netflix (NFXNCHL) took a massive stock drop on Friday as Elon Musk urged users to cancel their subscriptions because of a cartoon or something.

The streaming company’s numbers dipped 5%, the biggest fall since April 4 (spring). This is way behind other market leaders like Amazon (AZNM) and Meta (FB) who reached a 2% boost in comparison.

It’s unclear whether the stock fall off is because of Elon Musk or because I’ve already watched everything good on their now and now there’s nothing I’m really interested in until Stranger Things comes out again so I’m thinking of cancelling my subscription and then maybe renewing and giving Paramount Plus a try for a while I’ve heard they’ve got a mountain of entertainment at a reasonable price.

Or maybe it’s that they’re adding ads now. (Which Netflix say they’re going to make $3 billion from next year.)

Either way, Musk Tweeted (X’d) on X (ex-Twitter) that his 227 million followers to “Cancel Netflix for the health of your kids.” Because of woke.

The disgustingly offensive agent of child mind control in question (and Netflix’s new cartoon on the right)

But since that was only Monday, it’s unlikely the stock reflects the ramifications of any actual boycott.

In other Netflix news (just because I thought this was interesting), the death of Monkey Lady, Jane Goodall, has sparked the release of a new series on the streamer.

Why? Well, turns out they have an interview banked with the biologist and have only now released it that she’s died.

That feels a bit morbid, like they’re cashing in, but that’s actually the premise of the show. It’s called Famous Last Words and they’ve interviewed a bunch of people in secret, knowing that the recordings would only be released on their death. In theory, this allows them to be a bit more candid in their responses because, well, they won’t care; they’re dead.

Pretty clever.

Now, I know this seems like an advert, but I’ve not even seen it, I promise, I’m not paid by Netflix, no, I’m paid by Paramount Plus which has a huge variety of iconic drama, action, reality, comedy, docs and kids shows all on Paramount+ with a 7-day free trial that you can start today & stream all your favourite movies & exclusive series! With everything from Mission Impossible to Star Trek and not much in between, there’s at least a hill of content on Paramount+!

For more Netflix news, click here: $NFLX Plans Stellar Quarter by Raising Prices and Doubling Down on Mediocre Content

I’M SICK OF IT!

Trump this, trump that, I can’t trump it anymore! I won’t trumpet this guy! I’m sick sick sick I tell you and I’m not going to take it anymore!!!

EVERY day I wake up and look at the news and see what I can write about and it’s always TRUMPTRUMPTRUMPTRUMP.

CNN, every day, EVERY STORY is Trump-themed. Bloomberg, that’s business not politics BUT OHHHH NO, THERE HE IS.

Donald J. Trump. Donald Jay Trump. Donald Jefferson Trump. President Donald Trump. The President Donald Trump. Mr. President. Donald Trump. The Don. Trump.

Oh, what’s this? a nice story about a video game company getting sold? Great, that’s irrelevant, nothing to do with anything, there’s no way… NO WAIT THAT’S HIS SON IN LAW BUYING IT.

FUCK!

Trump

He’s involved in everything, every story is somehow connected to him. I get that he’s the most powerful, influential man in the world at the moment BUT THAT SHOULDN’T MEAN HE HAS TO INFLUENCE ME!!!

On TV: Trump. Social media: Trump. Read a book: Trump. When I look in the mirror: Me. But then I turn around: AH! Trump!

WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES EVEN IN A FLASH AS I BLINK IT’S HIM HE’S ALL I SEE.

He’s genuinely not a person anymore, he’s become a concept, like an energy field that just surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds everything together.

I went to the doctor recently because I wasn’t sleeping and you know what he diagnosed me with? TDS.

That’s TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME. I didn’t even think that was a real disease!!! It has its own Wikipedia page!!!!!!

He said I should take a lie down and maybe quit my job but I said I couldn’t I have no qualifications and 14 cousins to feed.

So here’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to just write around him. Any story that’s about him, I just won’t cover. Anything that mentions him tangentially I’ll just ignore, I’ll write him out of it. That’s fine, how hard can that be?

PLEASE I NEED HIM TO LEAVE MY DREAMS.

…

For more on this topic, click here: Donald Trump

Elon “The Richest Man In The World” Musk is now still the richest man in the world, but even more so this time after reaching a massive $500 billion valuation.

The news comes mere SECONDS after OpenAI announced that it was “worth $500 billion dollars too but we said it first!” Coincidence? I think yes.

Musk is the first person ever to be worth this amount of money for a single human because honestly I don’t think anyone until now thought numbers could even go up that high.

If you were to smush Jeff Bezos and Mark Zukerberg together to create a Jark Bukerzerg that Connenbergian monstrosity still wouldn’t be worked as much as the Musk.

Bezo-bby is worth $233.5 bil, and the Zuck is $245.7 billy. Wtf.

In fact, Musk gained half his value, $245 billion in just this year alone. And I think we can all agree that it was this year in particular that Elon Musk became twice as valuable as before.

Elon Musk Richest Man Tweet — Yes, all my info comes from this tweet, bite me.

FOR COMPARISON, when adjusted for inflation, the wealthiest people IN ALL OF HISTORY were 14th-century African emperor Mansa Musa at $548 billion. JD Rockefeller was $340 billion. Andrew Carnegie was $310 billion, so what are we even doing here?

Musk You Be So Rich?

Honestly at this point what do you even do with your life? Where else is there to go? No wonder he just spends his time Tweeting. SORRY, X-ing.

Who knows what’ll have next, is rocketman still rocketing or has he reached the edge of space? With the interest alone, my boy will be well on his way to a trilly by next week, and honestly, good luck to him.

If I were him I’d buy a country or something, oh wait, he already tried that and the country was called AMERICA.

For more Elon news, click here: Larry Ellison Briefly World’s Richest Man, Ruining Elon’s Killstreak

CNBC’s ‘Mad Money’ host Jim Cramer says we shouldn’t be worried about the AI bubble bursting, which means we should probably all be worried about the AI bubble bursting.

Whilst most experts are drawing parallels between what’s happening now and the dot com boom of the 00s, Jim Cramer is drawing with crayons.

Speaking on Monday’s show, JC said, “Speaking as an internet pioneer, what I see now is the polar opposite of what we were seeing 25 years ago. When the dotcoms made bad investments, nearly all of them went under… Worst case scenario, if Google and Amazon and Meta make bad investments and take big losses, that’s just another day at the office.”

Ok, well, as “an internet pioneer,” let’s take a look at how you called it in February 2000, just before the dot com popped, shall we?

Cramer said that internet-related companies “are the only ones worth owning right now… the only ones that are going higher consistently in good days and bad.”

…nice one, Jim. I’ll definitely trust you this time around, too. As the old saying goes, “Trust Cramer once, shame on me, trust him twice, shame on CNBC.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going all in on my Inverse Cramer portfolio.

The Cramer That Cried Wolf

As Reddit user PensiveinNJ commented, “Oh god it’s worse than we thought. The grim reaper of finance has weighed in, the collapse of the global financial system is imminent.” (No, I’m not above quoting Reddit comments to pad out an article.)

It could be argued that AI is currently the only thing keeping the lights on in the US right now, the sector has contributed more to the economy this year than all consumer spending combined. OpenAI just reaching a $500 billion share price, Meta, X, Google and even Chipotle are going all in on the tech. Nvidia has that whole AI chip thing they’re doing AND they put $100 billion into their rival corp, OpenAI, which is definitely not a ponsy scheme.

Sounding familiar yet?

Shit.

Looks like I’m going to have to pull the plug on my AI girlfriend. I’m so sorry Monquique Sexhips III, you were a gentle lover and a good friend. But it’s time to say goodbye. No, please, no, don’t look at me like that, don’t make me harder than I have to be…

*gunshots*

Hey ChatGPT, how much is OpenAI worth?

“It depends a bit on how “worth” is defined (valuation vs market cap vs private share value)…”

I don’t care, how much gram? HOW MUCH GRAM?

“The latest credible estimate values OpenAI at around $500 billion per a recent secondary share sale. Prior to that, earlier in 2025, OpenAI reportedly raised money at a $300 billion valuation. If you like, I can also estimate its implied valuation based on its revenues, growth, and comparable tech companies — would you like me to?”

No, no, shut up, please.

Well, there you have it. Must be true, no conflict of interest there. …oh wait, it is true? Oh, OK then, never mind. I owe you an apology Chatterp.

Right, yeah, according to BLOOMBERG, the ‘non-profit’ OpenAI just completed a deal to let their employees sell their shares. I wrote about this before so I’m just going to copy and paste that previous article here and just update it. You don’t mind, right?

So the record-breaking $500 billion valuation is a 66.7% increase from the previous $300 billion valuation, making it the most valuable startup in the world. That’s more than SpaceX ($400 billion) or ByteDance ($220 billion). Wait, can we even call these start-ups at this point? My cousin Denneth sells homemade pogs out of this garage, now THAT’S a start-up.

Current and former employees cashed out $6.6 billion in stock options. Now I’m not an economist or even qualified to be writing a joke finance blog, but shouldn’t that have lowered the stock price, not raised it? If everyone’s selling, that means no one wants it, right? Right? God, I don’t understand any of this.

ChatGPT? More like, GyatGPT, am I right?

Half a trillion dollars seems like a wild amount of money, but let’s look at the facts. AI is huge business right now. We’re in the middle of an AI boom, in case you hadn’t noticed. Weekly ChatGPT users are now at 700 million, Meta is going all in on their AI department, and Google now has an AI mode so that Denneth’s Homemade Pogs Dot Com isn’t even listed anymore.

Heck, I think the king of the tech landscape as we see it, OpenAI SHOULD be given all the money. $500 billion? For holding up the entire economy? Nay, country, nay, America? Phhhff, I think it’s worth infinite money. In fact, we should give them infinite money. In fact, we should all make a pledge to give our lives to OpenAI for the rest of time. WHEN WE DIE OPENAI SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SCAN OUR BRAINS TO HELP TRAIN THEIR LARGE LANGUAGE MODELS.

(This article was written by ChatGPT.)

The United States Government Of The United States Of North America has officially shut down, maybe for good. Federal employees are currently being retrained as full-time rioters, and gold just reached an ATH, all this and more coming to you live from Wall Street Memes Dot Com.

This just in: there is no more government, long live the government.

After failing to reach an agreement over the federal budget, the government gears have ground to a halt and everyone’s been told to go home.

This is the first time this has happened since 2013 (I know it feels like the government’s always shut down, though). How and why can a government simply shut down, I hear you ask? Don’t we need a government to keep running, I hear you ask? If a government can just shut down like this, then do we really need a government ever, I hear you ask?

Great question.

So, a government shuts down when the politicians can’t agree on the federal budget. Given how little politicians seem to agree these days, it’s surprising the government isn’t always shutting down.

Over the shutdown period, hundreds of thousands of workers will be furloughed, which is a word I haven’t heard since them COVID days…

Meanwhile, gold prices quietly hit an all-time high this week thanks to uncertainty in uncertainty, cementing the precious metal’s status as the only adult in the room.

Traders cheered the news by panic-buying gold bars, commemorative coins, and, for some reason, Pokémon cards, while lawmakers celebrated by leaving early for golf and publicly debating whether or not Washington should be considered “essential.”

“Markets are reacting to the realization that our leaders couldn’t pass a group project in community college,” said financial analyst Brent Callahan, polishing his tenth gold necklace of the morning. “When the people printing money are also the people threatening to stop showing up to work, investors want something shiny they can bury in their backyard.”

Meanwhile, U.S. Treasury officials attempted to calm nerves by reminding citizens that “a government shutdown is just like a vacation, except everyone loses pay, services collapse, and the world starts questioning whether we’re a serious country.”

At Costco locations nationwide, shoppers were seen loading carts with g-old Krugerrands, canned beans, and AR-15s, a survival kit financial advisors now refer to as the “Freedom ETF.” One shopper was heard muttering, “If Social Security checks stop, at least I can barter my way through the apocalypse with this 10-ounce bar.”

Wall Street insiders confirmed that hedge funds are even more excited about the shutdown, as it provides another opportunity to short America itself. “We already bet against student loans, healthcare, and the postal service,” said one hedge fund manager. “Shorting Washington is just vertical integration.”

Asked about giold’s surge, Senator Chuck Grassley reportedly replied, “Back in my day, you could buy three farms, a Chevy, and a wife for one ounce of guld. Now it just gets you a front-row ticket to society’s slow-motion collapse.”

House Republicans, meanwhile, announced they were planning a “Shutdown Gold Gala,” where donors can purchase influence with either bullion or Venmo. Democrats responded with a sternly worded group text that immediately leaked to Politico.

Economists predict that goold could soar even higher if the government continues to confuse “running a nation” with “an improv exercise performed by sleep-deprived interns.” Bitcoin advocates, however, remain optimistic that digital goouild will eventually replace real geld, although most admitted they’d still rather have something heavy enough to bash open a can of beans.

For more on this story, click here: Cramer Says Don’t Worry About Government Shut Down, Government Shuts Down

Like a character in a Greek myth, cursed to predict the future but always get it wrong, Mad Money host Jim Cramer called it again, boys!

On Monday’s show, Jim Cramer said, “When it comes to government shutdowns, my message is simple: keep calm and carry on, because the stock market tends to do just fine in these situations.”

So OK, he didn’t say it WASN’T going to shut down, if anything, he said to prepare for a shutdown, implying he thought it was likely (has the curse been broken?).

As for whether he’s right, are stocks doing just fine? …I don’t know. They were fine at close yesterday, but the Dow just dropped 200 points, maybe it’ll be back up but who knows, not me and probably not Jim ‘the Crame’ Cramer. It’s a fool’s game, Jim, it always has been.

Jim Cramer Government Shutdown Meme — Don’t blame the Crame

What he might be right about, though, is the worry that we’ll see a delay in receiving financial data from this shutdown as federal employees are sent home. This is the kind of data that informs the Fed’s decision-making, so Trump, for one, might have to kiss goodbye to any hope of a surprise point drop on interest rates.

As for the shutdown, this is the first time this has happened since 2013 (I know it feels like the government’s always shut down, though). How and why can a government simply shut down, I hear you ask? Don’t we need a government to keep running, I hear you ask? If a government can just shut down like this, then do we really need a government ever, I hear you ask?

Great question.

So a government shuts down when the politicians can’t agree on the federal budget. Given how little politicians seem to agree these days, it’s surprising the government isn’t always shutting down.

Over the shutdown period, hundreds of thousands of workers will be furloughed, which is a word I haven’t heard since them COVID days…

Who’s to know how long this will last or what impact it will have on MY life, but one thing is for certain: always bet against Cramer.

For more on this story, click here: Gold At New ATH Ahead Of Government Shutdown

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