Ima Short | Wall Street Memes

Get in, loser, we’re going house shopping.

IT’S A BUYERS MARKET, BOYS! Reportedly, there are 44% more home sellers than buyers in America. That translates to about 600,314 more houses for sale than people actually want to buy them. That’s up 30% from last year and the second largest gap since 2013 (the most was 45% in December 2025) but it’s still 1000% unlikely that you’ll own a house any time soon.

Does this mean we’re heading for a crash? Well, not necessarily. Technically it’s been a buyers markets since May 2024 and it’s only a buyer’s market for those even able to buy. It’s almost the opposite of what we saw in the 2008 housing crisis when everyone was buying and houses became insanely undervalued.

So if there’s a housing crisis, with people desperate for homes, why is no one buying? Well, it’s because house prices are just too damn high. The current situation is its own special kind of dire with house prices skyrocketing despite a growing housing shortage. House prices have only been going up, pricing out those who actually want to buy.

Home A Loan

That’s the state we’re in right now, were there’s buyers but none of them can afford the insane prices that the sellers are asking for. This massive discrepancy will only even out when house prices start to fall.

We might see a shift to cheaper houses because of this, but it’ll be gradual. I mean, any change has already has been glacial, if at all.

So don’t expect a dramatic The Big Short style crash any time soon. And instead of a fast-paced, all-star movie adaptation, we’re probably looking at an incredibly boring fourteen-part documentary.

Don’t hold your breath.

It’s AI, but not in the way that you think…

As you probably know, the stock market’s looking a little battered right now, losing $800 billion dollars of hypothetical money.

There are a number of reasons for the dip but a big one is just the general uncertainty in the market right now. And, in turn, a big reason for that is the looming spectre of tariffs (yes, again). After SCOTUS killed POTUS’s use of emergency powers to make sweeping increases to import taxes.

But there’s something else that’s got peeps spooked and curiously it’s not the AI bubble, but it also is, and, in fact, it kind of isn’t, but also is.

It seems to me that Wall Street is trying not to make the AI bubble a self-fulfilling prophecy because what’s happened is that investors have pulled funds from companies that either aren’t implementing AI or AI companies that are seen as failing.

A sort of AI-cull if you will.

Maybe the theory is that by pruning the rose bush it’s going to bloom more come summer. But surely what’s going to happen is everyone’s incentivised to double down on AI and the bubble becomes more likely instead?

Rather than the purely speculative stock market wagging the dog, what’s really needed is for these AI companies to actually start making money. Like, I know everyone’s hyped about OpenAI’s IPO of SpaceX merging with xAI and doing the same, but this is all conjecture. This is hot air blowing up the balloon, what we need is substance an actual (sustainably) profitable use case for this technology or the thing will pop.

But we’ll see. We’ve got Nvidia’s quarterly earnings coming up which will be a litmus test for the rest of the sector. And then of course we have the secret bi-annual summit of malignant super-sentiences. Oh, you didn’t know about that? Well, of course not, it’s a secret. Yeah, that’s who’s really running things…

Since its peak of $126,000, Bitcoin has fallen 50% (half) due to numerous factors but mainly because the whole world is a little fucked right now.

Once again for the people in the back row, Bitcoin and other cryptos are a highly volatile asset meaning that people are less likely to invest during ties of uncertainty. Gold is the opposite and the two thus become rule-of-thumb barometers for how people think the economy is going.

And who exactly are those ‘people’ you may ask? Well often it’s the money people looking to make more money. In this case it’s hedge fund managers, who initially poured in a lot of cash in Bitcoin and boosted the crypto to its ATH, but are now pulling out (heheh).

I mean, that’s pretty much the news. It’s not really news is it? BREAKING: Asset Goes Up In Value. Like, yeah, and it’ll probably go down in a bit too. That’s the problem with reactive finance news, the news alone isn’t very insightful, like the pure, ‘this thing just went up/down’ isn’t game changing.

I guess it’s the analysis behind it that makes the story worth reading and I’m sorry I can’t offer that but what did you really expect from Wall Street Memes Dot Com? If you thought you were getting something valuable here, that’s on you.

Heck, you realise this is just a way of keeping content churning out for what is literally just an advert for an online casino? And we only exist because we’re trying to make money too. We don’t really care about any of this or making your life better.

In fact, we’re probably making your life worse but we’re making money and so long as we do we will continue to exist.

And I’ll keep getting paid to write this garbage…

We’ve had Trump’s bonus tax for consumers (or as he likes to call them ‘tariffs’) for nearly a year now and, surprise, surprise, the economic policy of ‘pissing off your trade partners’ hasn’t heralded the economic paradise that Mr. President claimed it would be.

Even after the Supreme Court shot down Trump’s use of Emperor-Palpatine-Style ‘emergency powers’ to impose tariffs, he’s doubling down and finding new loopholes to increase the tax to a blanket 10% for everyone. No, wait, sorry, this just in, 15%. He changed his mind apparently.

It’s a far cry from the giddy heights of 145% taxes on Chinese imports. Plus, Trump’s using Section 122 which is only temporary and will need congressional approval after 150 days. Oh, how the mighty have McFallen.

What’s really hilarious is that to some extent, the tariffs were beneficial. At the time, the entire world bent over backwards to capitulate with Trump’s terroristic demands, securing some favorable deals for Trump. Now those world leaders must feel a little stupid knowing that Trump’s gun to their head was seemingly illegal and apparently could have been removed at any time.

Well, now it seems they’re finally standing up for themselves, taking the inch that the Supreme Court’s granted. The EU have already said that they’re not going to pay more and that “a deal is a deal.”

“The current situation is not conducive to delivering ‘fair, balanced, and mutually beneficial’ transatlantic trade and investment, as agreed ‌to by both sides.”

Potentially even the illegal tariffs might have to be refunded and repaid, which would be crazy. Jesus Christ, what a mess…

So we’ll just have to wait and see what happens of course and there is still a lot more flailing to be done, but right now Trump’s on the back foot and the world can take a little breather.

OK, ‘leaked’ is a strong word, I think they always get officially released? That’s nice. Some nice transparency for once (I’m looking at you, Epstein Files).

So despite Trump’s pressure and a looming replacement to Jay Powell, most Fed Reserve officials seemed hesitant to cut rates any further with some suggesting that maybe we should even raise the rates.

Oops.

It’s by no means clear cut however, and if anything the take away is that they can’t agree on anything. This will likely cause more rifts when Trump turns his eye-of-sauron back on the Fed and will mean Kevin Walsh might be ice skating uphill against his colleagues come his swearing in in May.

Alright, there’s a lot more to this story, but it’s all a little boring. If you want more, you can get into the weeds of it, in this article. But if you want to stick around, we can play some tik-tak-toe? Pass the time, why not?

Cool, I’ll go first:

           | |
____|____|____
           | X |
____|____|____
           | |
           | |

Haha, beat that. OK, you’re turn… Yeah, just write it in right there on the screen. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

…Take your time.

I know, it’s a complicated game, takes a lot of thought, but whenever you’re ready.

Sure, no, do, think about it. I’ll be right here…

Famous investor/old man Warren Buffett just ordered his investment firm Berkshire Hathaway to drop 77% of its Amazon stake (a total of $1.7 billion) in one of his final moves before retiring. What’s that phrase, ‘you’re most remembered words are your last ones’…?

Combine this mega dump with Buffett dropping $2.7 billion from Apple last quarter and we’ve got a $4.4 billion dollar bet against big tech. Should silicon valley be worried now or…?

Maybe not. Apple is still Berkshire Hathaway’s biggest holding, with a massive $61.96 billion vote of confidence in the iPhone manufacturer. Plus Buffett just grabbed a massive stake in the Google company, Alphabet. So, despite the headline, BH is very much still all in on tech.

There’s a chance as well that this isn’t even Buffett’s work, potentially being decisions by investment managers Todd Combs, Ted Weschler or CEO Greg Abel as a way to ease into Warren’s departure.

NOTE TO SELF: WARREN BUFFETT IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO NOTABLE ACTOR WARREN BEATTY DESPITE HAVING SIMILAR NAMES.

The new CEO was hand picked by Beatty, but the question remains, is he really Abel?

All you can eat Buffett

The big WB casts a long shadow, with over twenty decades of experience in Wall Street, he’s long been a guiding light for many investors. But now, with the sale of WB to Netflix, who’s to know what the future holds. Will Buffett still be allowed in cinemas or will he become streaming only for the rest of his life?

Also, I’m worried about him because my granddad loved his work as a dog lobotomist but when he had to retire at the age of 63 (he had the shakes by that point and the dogs were coming out like swiss cheese) his whole purpose had gone and it just seem like he lost the will to live. He died not two years later. I mean, yeah, he was hit by a truck, but that’s by the by.

Point is, Buffett is 95. He was born in 1930, that’s crazy. He’s about to retire after working for thirty decades on Wall Street. How does a guy like that just retire? I’m scared for him is all that maybe he’ll go the way of my gramps. STAY OFF THE STREETS, WARREN!!

Sir, this was a Wendy’s

Following a WEAK quarter, fast food chain Gwendolyn’s (Wendy’s for short) had a 10% sales drop and plans to close around 300 locations in the first half of next year. Well, shit, where am I supposed to get my midnight jalapeno popper sandwiches (hold the jalapenos) from now?

It remains unclear if, along with the closures, Wendy’s will shutter it’s infamous online presence but one can hope.

In the 2010s, Wendy’s became the flagship of so-called ‘brand Twitter’ in which social media managers would affect a more human, relatable persona. In the case of Wendy’s this persona manifested as a sassy, clap-backy, meme-fuelled circus of hilarity.

The Wendy’s account managed to imbed itself into popular culture and numerous brands followed suit, attempting to create their own witty alter-egos. Sometimes these fictional characters would conduct back and forth arguments with one another that could last months but achieved basically nothing. Like two mirrors facing each other.

But in the present day, the novelty’s worn off a bit and now everyone’s ‘doing a Wendy’s’ (that’s not a term, I just made that up), it’s just not fun or cool anymore.

So here’s hoping that along with the hundreds of stores and probably thousands of jobs, Gwendolyn will also bury her cheeky, cringey, clapback persona and just be a regular company again.

Or god help me, I will not be buying your jalapeno popper sandwiches ever again.

You know that thing where you get a bunch of people in a circle to lie back on the legs of the person behind them? What’s it called…? Oh my god I just went down a rabbit hole, it literally doesn’t have a name, and Googling ‘human chair’ reveals unspeakable horrors.

ANYWAY, my point is it feels like the economy is currently that chair game where if you remove one person, the whole thing falls apart. And that was a very long winded way of saying that Wall Street is very reliant on AI at the moment. I’m sorry I wasted your time there.

We’re seeing a lot of stocks down this week as a raft of investors dumped their stocks fearing an AI crash. Self fulfilling prophecy much?

But the interesting part is that this selloff has extended to other sectors, pulling down transportation, wealth management, logistics, and even the egg-polishing industry.

Looks like the human chair is collapsing before our eyes.

So will this lead to an even bigger crash? Well, probably not. The numbers we’re seeing here are relatively recoverable and in many cases its punishing companies who aren’t using AI. Since the general trend is towards widespread adoption of the technology. How that will effect the economy still remains to be seen.

As for me, well, as a human being, I’m slightly biased against AI. But what do you think? Are you an AI? Let us know in the comments!

Yeah, sure, whatever, do whatever, I don’t care, you do you man, what am I, you mother? Shit, you want to buy the dip, who am I to stop you? What are you going to do once you own a nice shiny new dip? Idk, but that’s what you wanted so honestly, you just go for it. Enjoin your dip. Happy dipping.

I mean, who knows if by the time you read this Netflix will still be dipped. Maybe it’ll be up. Idk. But at the time of writing Neftlix (TDM) is down 12% this year period and 19% over the year period. Where I got 15% from for the headline I have no idea, honestly, I’m just making stuff up at this point.

Obviously, this is all down to Netflix’s WB bid (WBB for short) which would be a massive undertaking by the company and will end up looking much more like a merger than a takeover.

Alright, that’s about all I have the stamina to write for you right now. Tbh, I stole this headline word for word from somewhere else. The article body though, that’s all me, probably why it’s pretty terrible.

At least it’s not written by AI… but maybe that would be better. Depends what you want out of this transaction here. Because if you’re here for information, firstly, why the hell are you coming to Wall Street Memes Dot Com, and secondly, yeah, maybe an AI could do this but you’ve already got your info so I doubt you’re even reading this far so INDULGE me.

BUT if you’re here for entertainment, then I reckon I can do better. Sure, not in this article, but I’m tired so this is a bad example. But generally, I reckon I’m funnier than an AI. I’m certainly drunker than an AI…

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Netflix. Sure bitch, buy the dip. I don’t care. This IS financial advice. Let’s go all in baby. Suck it.

In 2036, approximately 5% of America’s economy will go to paying the interest on the country’s national debt. Holy Jesus Christ. Surely, SURELY this is unsustainable, right? RIGHT?

Well, no, because the Congressional Budget Office, (CBO, owned by Warner Bros) says that no matter who is in power, year on year, borrowing has increased and is going to increase for the foreseeable future.

This is from Fortune (because I don’t understand these numbers and cba to translate): “In 2026, the shortfall will stand at about $1.8 trillion, or 5.8% of GDP. Come 2036, that will have ballooned to $3.1 trillion, or roughly 7% of the American economy.”

Like, didn’t you just say 5%? Ok, whatever, moving on…

These numbers are so big, they are double annual military spending, and at least triple what I pay for my weekly groceries.

Ok, I’m trying to read this article and my eyes are just glazing over. Like, I feel like you got the headline, right? You got the general vibe? I don’t need to say anymore, right? I mean, there are more numbers, I could give you more numbers, like five for example, there you go: five. There’s a number.

The bottom line is (yes, I just scrolled down to the final paragraph), things are going to cost more for everyday Americans and this will inevitably become a massive part of the next few elections when (god forbid) they come round.

So hang tight, bud!

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Get in, loser, we’re going house shopping.

Home A Loan

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A sort of AI-cull if you will.

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