June, 2026 | Wall Street Memes

SpaceX was having the kind of week that makes traditional Wall Street brokers weep into their morning martinis. Elon Musk’s aerospace giant finally pulled off its highly anticipated IPO, and it was an absolute moonshot.

Shares of SPCX surged nearly 20% on day one, tacked on another 11% the next day, and pushed the company’s valuation to a staggering $2.3 trillion.

The company is basically part rocket ship, part Bitcoin vault. But just when investors thought they were riding this bad boy straight to Mars, a wild Jim Cramer appeared on CNBC to deliver the ultimate kiss of death.

The infamous Jim Cramer kiss of death

On Tuesday, the Mad Money host decided he needed to weigh in on the space race. Cramer went on air and mused about the stock’s parabolic trajectory, stating, “I clock SpaceX going up one point per hour.” He followed up by complaining that SpaceX was trading like a volatile meme stock, which made him “uncomfortable,” despite claiming he actually likes the company.

“Maybe it’s okay to you, but I would hate to see a meme stock, what SpaceX stock has become — walked to the size of Nvidia over a series of overnight moves with no sellers.” — Jim Cramer

You can guess what happened next. The universe heard him. The market gods looked down, saw Jim Cramer tracking a stock’s upward velocity, and immediately pulled the emergency brake.

Houston, we have a 5% Loss Porn problem

Right on cue, Jim Cramer’s blunt response to the SpaceX stock surge triggered the legendary “Inverse Cramer” effect. Almost immediately after his comments, SpaceX shares hit reverse, dropping 4.95% and wiping out a casual $180 billion from its peak IPO valuation.

It turns out that not even 18,000 corporate Bitcoins or literal rocket boosters can withstand the financial hex of America’s favorite shouty TV host.

For the crypto bros who were trading SpaceX futures on Hyperliquid before the listing even went live, this is just another Tuesday of extreme volatility. But for the retail traders who bought the absolute top right before Jim opened his mouth? Welcome to the Thunderdome, gents.

The Federal Reserve had its big meeting on Wednesday, and let’s just say Jerome Powell’s successor didn’t exactly roll out the red carpet for the bulls.

In his very first meeting as Fed Chairman, Kevin Warsh decided to channel his inner Marie Kondo and pare back the central bank’s policy statement.

The result? Over $1 trillion was instantly erased from the stock market as traders collectively lost their minds.

For more cutting insight on how the market handles macroeconomic heart attacks, check out our previous articles.

The Fed statement was, well, quite reserved

While everyone expected the Fed to keep the benchmark interest rate locked tight between 3.5% and 3.75%, nobody expected Warsh to pull out a literal hatchet. The Fed unanimously voted to hold rates steady, but they completely gutted the statement language that hinted at future rate cuts.

Instead of the usual 341-word essay of economic jargon we got back in April, Warsh trimmed the text down to a brutally brief 130 words. It’s basically the central bank equivalent of a “we need to talk” text. The new vibe? The Fed is here to crush inflation, and they don’t care about your portfolio’s feelings.

Connect the dots? No thanks, I’m an adult.

The real drama happened with the Fed’s famous “dot plot” – the grid where officials guess where interest rates are heading. Not only did the committee erase their previous outlook for a rate cut this year, but they actually hinted that a rate hike is on the table for 2026, thanks to surging energy prices from the Middle East conflict.

But the funniest part? Warsh straight-up refused to participate in his own agency’s chart. When asked why his “dot” was missing, Warsh told reporters he thinks the tool isn’t helpful and hinted he might cancel it by the end of the year.

“I did not submit a dot for me,” Warsh said, proving that even the most powerful economic officials on earth hate doing group projects.

Traders, who rely on those dots like astrology fans rely on CoStar, immediately panicked. October rate hike, anyone? Welcome to the Warsh era, folks. Hold onto your wallets.

Did your portfolio survive the trillion-dollar wipeout, or are you currently looking for a roommate to share a cardboard box?

Move over, Satoshi, there is a new king of the digital playground, and he doesn’t even need a pseudonymous identity to flex on you.

In a development that reads like a silly joke, tech billionaire Elon Musk is now officially worth more than Bitcoin’s entire market capitalization.

According to the latest data, Elon’s net worth has rocketed to a casual $1.4 trillion, comfortably cruising past Bitcoin’s total market cap of $1.3 trillion. If only you could buy ETFs of Elon Musk, hey?

Elon Musk could buy every BTC in circulation

So, how does one man accumulate enough capital to rival the world’s favorite decentralized currency? It turns out, you just need to launch a giant rocket company.

The main catalyst behind Elon’s massive wealth spike was the blockbuster stock market debut of SpaceX. The rocket maker and Starlink operator went public last Friday and saw its shares surge nearly 50% from its IPO price in just three trading sessions. Elon owns a massive chunk of the company (4.76 billion shares, to be exact), which means his SpaceX stake alone is now valued at around $960 billion.

To put his total $1.4 trillion fortune into perspective, if Elon were a country’s Gross Domestic Product, he would rank ahead of all but 19 of the world’s largest economies. He is also currently worth more than the world’s next five richest tech moguls combined. Jeff Bezos is probably shaking his fist at a satellite right now.

It turns out, Elon took “To The Moon” literally

While SpaceX is printing money faster than the Federal Reserve, Elon’s other famous venture, Tesla, is having a bit of a rough patch.

Tesla stock has slid nearly 20% from its December highs as the company tries to pivot from making sleek electric sedans to focus on autonomous vehicles and humanoid robots. Elon’s 11% stake in Tesla is now worth about $1.52 billion. But hey, when your side hustle is a multi-trillion-dollar space empire, a little dip in the EV market is just pocket change.

Between owning SpaceX, Tesla, a brain-chip startup called Neuralink, and a tunneling business called The Boring Company, Elon is basically playing Monopoly with real life.

The only real question left is: when is he going to buy Bitcoin itself just for the meme?

Hold onto your portfolios, boys, because peace is apparently very profitable. Who knew?

Now that the U.S. and Iran have just shaken hands on a massive ceasefire agreement, the top 1% via Wall Street are set to benefit from huge stock gains. Well, it’s about time they got some good news. With the news breaking yesterday, Wall Street absolutely lost its mind, triggering a face-melting $1.1 trillion market surge faster than you can say “peace in our time.”

Major stock futures went vertical after Washington and Tehran agreed to reopen the Strait of Hormuz – you know, that tiny little choke point where a massive chunk of the world’s oil hangs out.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average did its best SpaceX impression, rallying 469 points to finish at a fresh record high of 51,671. Meanwhile, the tech-heavy Nasdaq led the absolute charge, screaming 3.1% higher.

Nothing is sweeter than peace… but money is up there

For months, energy traders have been sweating bullets, but this breakthrough caused crude oil to absolutely crater. WTI crude plummeted nearly 5%, sliding comfortably below $80 a barrel. If you listen closely, you can hear the collective sigh of relief from anyone who owns a vehicle that doesn’t plug into a wall.

Naturally, Trump took to Truth Social late Sunday to declare the ceasefire “complete,” noting that the formal pens-on-paper event is locked in for Switzerland this Friday. Say what you want about the art of the deal, but the markets are dancing entirely to his tune right now.

To infinity and beyond (or at least to $2 trillion)

As if world peace wasn’t enough to get the bulls running, Elon Musk’s SpaceX (NASDAQ:SPCX) decided to pour high-octane rocket fuel on the fire.

Fresh off its blockbuster IPO, the aerospace giant climbed another 17% on Monday, blasting its market valuation past the $2.2 trillion mark. It’s now officially one of the six largest companies on the planet.

Even the crypto degens got a slice of the pie, with Bitcoin bouncing back up to the $66,800 level as geopolitical panic subsided.

All eyes now turn to Wednesday, where new Fed Chair Kevin Warsh faces his first official policy meeting. With oil sliding and market euphoria peaking, Warsh might actually get to play the good guy for once.

Move over, Lionel Messi. There is a new potential star of the 2026 World Cup podium, and he prefers a red tie over a soccer jersey.

According to sports insiders, President Donald Trump will reportedly be allowed to lift the legendary World Cup trophy on stage alongside the winning team during next month’s final at MetLife Stadium.

FIFA executive protocol usually dictates that the trophy stays put until the actual players grab it. Still, apparently, soccer’s governing body is giving the U.S. president full VIP, all-access, “do whatever you want” clearance.

It’s about time Donald Trump won something, right?

Reports indicate that FIFA officials have already told the president they wish for him to hand over the trophy, marking some good news for the American President.

However, they are leaving it entirely up to Trump’s own discretion whether he wants to stick around on the podium and join the team’s sweaty, champagne-soaked group huddle, or retreat to the luxury executive suites. White House insiders are already placing their bets, betting that he will absolutely choose to stay on stage and hoist the gold.

If this feels like deja vu, that is because we have seen this movie before. Trump previously hopped on stage to lift the trophy with Premier League giants Chelsea after their FIFA Club World Cup victory. He has basically become a permanent fixture at major sporting events lately, popping up at everything from the NBA Finals at Madison Square Garden to high-stakes UFC fights.

Note: Canadian and Mexican officials will also be invited to the closing ceremony, though nobody knows if they will get to touch the trophy. Sharing is caring, guys.

Red Cards & Red Tapes

While the president prepares his trophy-lifting form, the tournament hasn’t been entirely smooth sailing behind the scenes.

Somali referee Omar Artan, who was named Africa’s best ref in 2025, was denied entry into the U.S. by border officials due to alleged vetting complications. On the bright side, FIFA confirmed he will still be paid in full for the tournament, proving that sometimes you can secure the bag without even having to run the field.

Will the eventual World Cup champions embrace the ultimate presidential photo-op, or will things get awkward on the podium? Only time will tell.

Read about how Elon became the world’s first trillionaire

Elon Musk is having a casual Tuesday, and by casual, we mean he just added a cool $165 billion to his net worth in a single trading session. To put that into perspective, Elon didn’t just beat the market today—he pocketed an amount of cash larger than Bill Gates’ entire net worth combined.

According to financial trackers monitoring the absurd wealth of the 1%, the massive single-day surge officially puts Elon so far ahead in the billionaire space race that he might need SpaceX to look back at the competition. While the rest of us are out here debating if we can afford the extra guacamole at Chipotle, Elon is out here acquiring entire legacy fortunes between breakfast and lunch.

Windows of Opportunity, Doors of Wealth

Imagine working your whole life, inventing the operating system that runs the world, becoming the literal poster boy for global wealth for decades, only for the Tesla guy to make your entire life’s work in a casual 24 hours. Somewhere in Seattle, a Microsoft Zune is being thrown against a wall in frustration.

The stock market rally that triggered this financial anomaly has left analysts scratching their heads and retail investors furiously checking their portfolios to see if their fractional shares of Tesla moved by $1.50. For Elon, it’s just another day of watching commas multiply like rabbits.

Out of This World Gains

Of course, the internet is handling the news with its usual calm and measured dignity. Social media has been flooded with memes questioning the physics of making that much money in a day without physically printing it on a spaceship.

You have to respect the hustle, or at least respect the algorithms that decided today was the day Elon needed to buy a few more countries. Stay tuned to see if he loses it all tomorrow on a dogecoin tweet.

If you had “world peace breaks out” on your 2026 financial bingo card, congratulations, go grab yourself a prize from the top shelf.

In a move that has sent shockwaves through both global diplomatic circles and the group chats of everyone trading commodities, President Donald Trump took to social media on Sunday evening to drop a massive bomb – metaphorically speaking. Trump officially confirmed that the United States and Iran have reached a comprehensive peace agreement.

“The Deal with the Islamic Republic of Iran is now complete,” Trump posted, presumably while his staff breathed a collective sigh of relief. According to international mediators, both sides have declared an immediate and permanent termination of military operations on all fronts.

The self-proclaimed President of Peace finally delivers… peace?

The conflict, which kicked off back on February 28th with US and Israeli airstrikes, had threatened to turn the global energy market into an absolute dumpster fire. When Iran responded by shutting down the Strait of Hormuz, energy traders collectively reached for the long game.

For those who skipped econ class to watch crypto charts, the Strait of Hormuz is basically the jugular vein of the global energy market. Roughly 20% of the world’s oil and liquefied natural gas squeezes through that tiny bottleneck. Closing it is the geopolitical equivalent of a delivery truck parking sideways across a one-lane drive-thru.

But with the peace deal officially set to be signed in Switzerland this Friday, the shipping lanes are unlocking. UK Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer wasted no time chiming in, stressing that the Strait must remain “fully and permanently open”. Naturally, the news has oil prices moving faster than your favourite memecoin in a bull market.

60 days to comply (good luck with that)

While the immediate ceasefire has everyone cheering, the actual fine print of this deal is going to be a logistical nightmare. The agreement kicks off a 60-day window where the US and Iran have to figure out whether and how to destroy and remove Iran’s nuclear material.

Experts are already warning that hammering out those specific details is going to be incredibly difficult. As BBC Chief North America Correspondent Gary O’Donoghue pointed out, “the deal – while crucial – is just a beginning”.

The G7 leaders are meeting later today to discuss the details, but for now, the markets are bracing for a wild ride. Whether this lasts or completely blows up in 61 days remains to be seen. Either way, lower energy prices are back on the menu, boys.

It’s official, boys. The simulation has updated, and Elon Musk is no longer just a mere billionaire. Following a historic, record-breaking stock market debut for SpaceX, Musk has blasted past the ten-figure club to become the world’s very first trillionaire.

SpaceX Goes To The Moon, Elon’s Bank Account Follows

According to the folks over at Bloomberg, Elon’s net worth has rocketed to an eye-watering $1.11 trillion. To put that into perspective, he’s now sitting way above fellow tech titans like Jeff Bezos, and he is roughly five times richer than Meta boss Mark Zuckerberg. It’s a wild comeback considering that back in early 2025, a slump in Tesla’s share price had investors sweating.

But don’t expect Elon to buy a small European nation in cash just yet. It turns out his unimaginable wealth is almost entirely built on a massive mountain of paper.

Paper Gains? More Like Paper Mountain Range

If you think a trillion dollars means Elon has a vault full of gold coins like Scrooge McDuck, think again. In fact, Musk previously stated on X that less than 0.1% of his net worth is held in actual cash. The rest of that gargantuan stack is tied up in his 12% stake in Tesla and his massive 42% stake in SpaceX.

According to reports by the BBC, his wealth chart over the last six years looks like a jagged mountain range. One day Tesla stock dips and he loses a casual few billion, the next day SpaceX lists on the public market and boom, he’s the richest man in human history. Talk about extreme portfolio volatility. If you think your crypto portfolio gives you anxiety, imagine watching a trillion dollars fluctuate based on a single tweet.

If you want to track where the rest of the market is heading, hit up our Stonks page to see if your portfolio can make a comeback too.

Remember 2016? A simpler time when millions of us wandered blindly into traffic, trespassed on private property, and fell off literal cliffs all in the name of catching a digital Charizard. Well, it turns out Niantic, the geniuses behind Pokémon Go, weren’t just helping you log your daily steps. They were building a massive, geospatial AI model—and it might just end up steering military hardware.

Pikachu, I Choose You… To Recce This Active War Zone?

According to a mind-blowing report by The Guardian, Niantic has been using millions of 3D scans uploaded by everyday gamers to train a “Large Geospatial Model” (LGM). Every single time you awkwardly stood outside a local church or a public park trying to claim a Gym for Team Mystic, your phone’s camera was mapping the physical world in high-definition.

Experts are now pointing out that this exact type of technology is highly lucrative for defense tech. This means your casual Sunday afternoon gaming session just laid the groundwork for AI-powered military drones to navigate complex urban environments without relying on GPS. Talk about an unexpected evolution.

From Pokéballs to Recon Drones

Niantic’s new LGM allows an AI to understand the physical world from a ground-level perspective, essentially filling in all the blind spots that standard satellites completely miss. For the tech and defense sectors, this data is pure gold. For the average mobile gamer who just wanted a Shiny Gyarados, it’s a slightly terrifying existential crisis.

The company has previously faced scrutiny over its data privacy policies, but transitioning from an augmented reality gaming company into a potential cornerstone of defense logistics is a corporate pivot that even the wildest tech startup couldn’t predict.

Gotta Catch ‘Em All (Including Venture Capital)

We can only wait to see how the stock market reacts to augmented reality becoming tactical reality, but tech investors are already drooling over the monetization potential of high-fidelity 3D spatial data. Who knew the military-industrial complex would get a boost from a bunch of people trying to hatch virtual eggs?

The UK government has decided that the best way to keep children safe online is to confiscate everyone’s phone… Not really, but close enough.

In a move that has privacy advocates screaming into their encryption keys, British Prime Minister Keir Starmer has issued a three-month ultimatum to Big Tech: figure out a way to block explicit images across entire devices, or the UK government will step in and do it for them.

Because nothing says “free world” like the government asking to inspect your digital trousers.

Tech Policy or Tech Policing?

Speaking at London Tech Week, Starmer basically told Apple and Google that they have until September to implement device-wide nudity filtering.

“I expect tech firms to make that happen,” Starmer said, a man who presumably struggles to convert a doc to a PDF. If they don’t comply, the UK is threatening to change the law, turning the entire country into an island where you can’t even text a spicy meme without a government hall monitor clearing it first.

Naturally, tech companies and digital rights groups are losing their minds. Signal, the encrypted messaging app that your most paranoid friend keeps trying to make you download, didn’t hold back. They dropped an open letter calling the requirements “dystopian” and pointed out that “surveillance is not safety”.

“We know that mass surveillance and censorship capabilities, however sincere-sounding the promises of those who initiate them are, never remain narrowly scoped.” – Signal

I preferred Big Brother when it was a show…

The government claims this won’t affect adults because it will only apply to children. The catch? The only way to prove you’re an adult is if everyone verifies their identity. Yes, you’ll soon need to hand over your passport data just to bypass a device-level nanny filter.

Silkie Carlo, director of Big Brother Watch, warned that this brilliant plan will result in “population-wide ID checks” and could turn your smartphone into a piece of government-mandated spyware. Over 400 scientists have already signed up to tell the UK to pump the brakes until someone actually figures out the math on how this does more good than harm.

But hey, if the UK completely breaks end-to-end encryption, at least the local VPN providers are going to make an absolute killing helping British citizens browse the web like it’s 1999. WSM VPN, anyone?

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The infamous Jim Cramer kiss of death

Houston, we have a 5% Loss Porn problem

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The Fed statement was, well, quite reserved

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