2026 | Wall Street Memes

Oh, sure, just because he can afford to do that…

Last week, the richest man in the world took a break from his busy schedule to hop on a podcast and tell us all what we’re doing wrong with our finances.

“Don’t worry about squirreling money away for retirement in 10 or 20 years. It won’t matter,” Musky Man explained.

And why won’t it matter? Because the world will have been destroyed by WW3 fought over Greenland? Because all the microplastics in our blood will coagulate into megaplastics? No, no, why would you assume it’s a bad thing? No, this is a GOOD reason!

You see, you don’t need to save for retirement because AI will create a post-scarcity economy.

By 2030, AI will surpass “the intelligence of all humans combined,” Musk explained. “Anything short of shaping atoms, AI can do probably half or more of those jobs right now.” And our embracing of that power will lead to economic increases that will surpass “what people possibly could think of as abundance.”

Sure.

How many ‘r’s are there in a ‘post-scarcity AI economy’?

Bear in mind that this is the man who is hard pivoting his Tesla company to make robots over EVs, the man who is steering Twitter (of all things) into a child-pornography-generating-robot… the point is he has a vested interest in promoting these claims.

What, you think he’s on a podcast just for fun? No, this is an advert. He says something outrageous, gets everyone talking and it drives up interest and stock prices.

Like, did you seriously think we were going to colonize Mars within Musk’s wild timeframe? No, it was all just the same tactic to advertise his satellite-launching company.

Trump uses exactly the same method and it works.

Let’s say you want to achieve a goal but that goal has a difficulty rating of an eight out of ten. Well, what you do is you go round everywhere saying that you’re going to do the crazy version of the thing you actually want. You say you’re going to do something that’s difficulty rating a thousand. Now suddenly, that eight out of ten doesn’t look so hard, now does it?

And hey, because you were talking crazy and everyone (like me) has to write about it, well, there’s now a lot of talk around that topic so yeah, I think I will invest my money/vote for this hot button issue.

Yeah. Welcome back to the carnival and once again, we all just got played.

Off with his head!

Jerome “Big Ballz” Powell has clapped back against Trump’s latest attack on the Federal Reserve Chair.

In his latest TikTok, Powell explained that “the threat of criminal charges is a consequence of the Federal Reserve setting interest rates based on our best assessment of what will serve the public, rather than following the preferences of the president.”

Jay Powell South Park Meme — Powell photographed in the street today.

And he’s right, this has nothing to do with the Fed renovations that Powell is supposedly subpoenaed for and everyone pretty much knows it. Trump’s been outspoken about his dislike of Powell from the beginning. (idk what tho)

So, here’s a question, how do you think the interest rates should be measured? Should it be decided by taking the data about the economy and then setting the rates accordingly? Or should it be decided by whether or not the chairman spent too much money doing up a building?

Sorry, did I say federal building renovations? I meant to say blatant political coercion.

Jerome Powell? More like Jerome POWell

Because even if you’re a Trump fan, the idea that Trump, or any future president, should have the power to set the interest rates just isn’t very helpful. These decisions need to be made independently, need to be objective and scrutable by their own metric. If these rates are decided based on a subjective whim then they hold no water and are basically useless.

Look, I’ve got zero economics knowledge and even I can tell you that Trump is just undermining his own system here. But don’t take my ill-informed word for it, here’s a statement signed by former Fed Chairs Janet Yellen, Ben Bernanke, and Alan Greenspan, and four other past Treasury secretaries.

“This is how monetary policy is made in emerging markets with weak institutions, with highly negative consequences for inflation and the functioning of their economies more broadly,” the statement reads. “It has no place in the United States whose greatest strength is the rule of law, which is at the foundation of our economic success.”

When the President can set interest rates, he’ll set them in a way that makes him look good and garners more power. The rates will therefore not be an accurate representation of what the economy’s doing and be basically useless, undermining the actual value of our currency and American goods.

That seems obvious right? So why is Trump trying to do it? Well, because in the short term this makes him look good and he thinks it’s a good idea and it’s all about control, isn’t it? Why shouldn’t he be able to decide the interest rates? He can just pluck out the leader of Venezuela, ignore the will of the people, kill a man by guillotine, he can do whatever he wants.

And he wants Powell gone.

So what happens next?

Well, both sides will double down, the show trial will go ahead, but it won’t do much until Powell steps down in May and Trump replaces him with someone more amenable to his whims and our economy suffers as a result.

Just another drip on the slow erosion of this country’s ever-weakening institutions.

But that’s just my guess. What do you think? Let us know in the comments section that we don’t have below!

You need enough followers. Like Jesus.

I don’t care any more, I have no shame, what, you thought I had shame? No, I’m doing it, I’m sharing my feet pics.

You think I’ve got ugly feet? Bitch, it doesn’t matter, people love ugly feet. I need that Visa, my Honduran travel visa expired 18 months ago and I’ve been working at an organic armadillo ranch on the sly this whole time. They pay me in cash and armadillo teeth and don’t ask questions but I think they’re starting to get suspicious so I need to bounce real soon.

Look, this visa was designed for painters and musicians and interesting people, but you know what else is art? Big boobies. Yeah, I said it, cancel me.

Turns out the immigration office switched to a more algorithmic adjudication system which made it much easier to game with big numbers like follower count and subscription earnings.

These are O-1B visas and they have blown up 50% in the last decade, partially because it’s a bit easier to get in that way.

I want to be in Ame-ri-ca.

But here’s the thing no one’s talking about: we NEED onlyfans stars, we need them here and we need them now.

They are the lifeblood of this economy. Hell, if anyone understands the American Dream it’s a scrappy young Turkish woman just trying to make a living the only way she knows how and that’s selling electric fans on the internet.

They keep you cool, increase airflow, I really don’t know what’s not to like. Why is everyone complaining here? I say let them in!

I for one am a fan.

Jerome Powell just got supeenered, wait, suibpoened, no… subpoenaed? …that doesn’t look right, what is that, Greek? What’s it in English? Anyway, Powell just got asked to testify to the DoJ about the Fed renovations and really, we’re still on this? Ugh.

And before I go off on one, yes, you will believe his response, it’s actually very reasonable.

Powell said, “This is about whether the Fed will be able to continue to set interest rates based on evidence and economic conditions, or whether instead monetary policy will be directed by political pressure or intimidation”

“I have deep respect for the rule of law and for accountability in our democracy,” he continued. “No one, certainly not the chair of the Federal Reserve is above the law, but this unprecedented action should be seen in the broader context of the administration’s threats and ongoing pressure.”

Like everything Trump does, this is so OBVIOUS and brazen. This is not about the Fed building renovations, we’ve been through this, let’s move on, please. No, this is another attack on the Fed for being independent and not bowing to Trump’s pressure.

The whole point is that the Fed is independent of the executive branch, if it’s not and the President can set interest rates then it has literally no purpose and we take one step closer to autocracy.

Yes, Trump can now invade a country, overthrow its leader and declare himself king but that doesn’t mean he can do it on home soil too. Powell isn’t some despot hoarding oil, he’s just some guy…

The dollar has obviously dipped because of this news. Surprise, surprise, attacking your own financial institutions is bad for your economy…

I know that sounds like a threat from a supervillain, but it’s true…

For the first time in forever, the US will have a declining population rate. And that’s good news, right? Overpopulation is a bad thing because there are not enough houses, economy something, something, etc?

WRONG.

Population growth is ESSENTIAL to economic growth. If too many people are dying and we’re not having enough babies THE ECONOMY WILL SHRINK AND THAT’S BAD.

If we want population growth we’re going to have to rely on disgusting things like immigration and cloning and in vitro fertilization. Ew.

These new numbers come from the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) who previously said it would take another decade to get to this point. I THOUGHT I STILL HAD TIME!!!

Economy? More like eCONomy

This will fundamentally change the very fabric of American society. As it has done in Italy, Japan and the UK, an aging population can lead to a rise in dependency, an end of life care crisis, a decline in military strength, a decline in innovation, deflation, unemployment, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, COVID again, and death.

So yeah, not good.

Maybe Donald ‘The President’ Trump will foresee this issue and incentivise immigration, people to start families and for everyone to die a bit less.

The way I see it, that’s the only solution: immortality.

I for one am putting all my money on Bryan Johnson to save us all.

That and cloning. Yeah, cloning would be cool.

Err… No.

Walmart just launched a new crypto app called OnePay, allowing customers to trade Ether, Bitcoin and even buy 14 green pleather couches with crypto.

But the real question, the question that everyone’s asking, the one answer everyone’s waiting for, the very thing that people want to know is can you buy assault rifles with fartcoin?

It’s a great question, especially considering I own a LOT of fartcoins and I have always wanted to shoot up a school and this way, perhaps my two greatest passions could come together in sweet harmony.

Walmart? More like walfart…

Currently it looks like OnePay only handles BTC/ETH trading so it looks like I’ll have to spend my farts elsewhere.

But maybe someday that will change as Walmart is positioning the app to be an everything app, combing a loyalty card with a crypto trading platform and it’ll even call you ‘Denny Big Dick’ if you change your name in the settings.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to launder all my ill gotten gains EXCLUSIVELY through Walmart.

For more Walmart news, read this: Walmart Just Reported Record Earnings And Here’s Why

Corruption? No, that’s the guy we arrested, not US…

An anonymous crypto gambler netted almost half a million on a Polymarket bet that Maduro would be out just two days before he was ousted by Trump and if you can smell something fishy with that then you might just have a future in law enforcement.

Just five hours before the kidnapping, the secret better doubled down on their bet, implying that he (OR SHE) may have been privy to some of that tasty, tasty insider information.

The account was only one week old at the time of the bet and sure, maybe this brand new user got very lucky and cashed out immediately then disappeared, or…

Or they knew something that no one else did.

Well, people are taking note and in response to this story, Democrat Richie Torres announced a bill to crack down on government officials trading on prediction markets.

Maduro? more like, U Mad Bro?

It might be an uphill battle however as it seems that the powers that be paved the way for said insider trading.

As Futurism explains: “Back in October, Reuters reported that the Trump Media and Technology Group was working with Crypto.com to implement prediction market functionality into Truth Social. That came as dozens of federal investigations into crypto-based price fixing, securities fraud, and regulatory noncompliance have been dropped at the Trump administration’s urging. Two of those cases were against prediction platforms Polymarket —the very same implicated in the Venezuela allegations — and Kalshi, for selling options contracts related to congressional elections.”

Yep, this one goes all the way to the top.

Let’s circle back to this story in a couple years when it all comes out that Trump himself made the bet and is laughing all the way to the bank.

For more on this story, click here: Venezuela To Send US $2.8 Billion In Oil, Here’s Trump’s 5 Wildest Demands

“The Board unanimously determined that the Paramount’s latest offer remains inferior to our merger agreement with Netflix across multiple key areas,” said WBD’s chair, Samuel A. Di Piazza, Jr. III esq.

WDB Cooper also reaffirmed their binding deal with Netflix meaning that ‘Warnet Broflix’ is looking more likely with every passing day.

And even though Paramount has the higher offer ($108 billion to Netflix’s 83), the WBoard says it’s “illusory”.

Firstly, Netflix would continue with WBD’s plan to lose the D and just be WB again. This way they can dump all their losing assets and dump a ton of debt. THIS WAS THE PLAN FROM THE START BEFORE EVERYONE EVEN OFFERED TO BUY THEM.

But Paramount want to buy the whole thing outright, loss, debt and two smoking barrels. Why? Who knows. Why don’t they change their offer to suit WB? Who knows. This is money people we’re talking about and if you claim you can understand Hollywood accounting then call me.

And the Warner Bros board see that debt retention as a bizarre move.

On top of that, Paramount’s offer is on shaky ground after Jared Kushner’s equity firm pulled out and with a consortium of Middle Eastern investors to plug the gap things have only gotten sheikhier.

“Paramount’s offer continues to provide insufficient value, including terms such as an extraordinary amount of debt financing that create risks to close and lack of protections for our shareholders if a transaction is not completed.”

So with Netflix WB on the horizon, here are the top 45 crossovers we want to see:

45: Harry Potter vs. Stranger Things

Let’s be honest, HP would DESTROY. Harry vs. Eleven. Vecna vs. Voldemort. Hagrid vs. Jim Hopper but he’s got a gun. It’s no contest. Avadaca-these-nutz. (that’s the tagline)

44: Emily In Westeros

It’ll be a charming, light hearted tour through the Seven Kingdoms. And at the end, Emily can get beheaded. What’s not to like?

43: Squid Game Squarepants

Watch Patrick Star fight for his life in a murderous obstacle course of doom. It’s ok because it’s a critique of capitalism!

(To see entires 42-1, please subscribe to Wall Street Memes Premium)

For more on this story, click here: Trump Is Backing Off The Paramount’s WB Bid, Here’s What That Means For Netflix

No. …but it’s a start.

Yes, this is the news that then President Donaldo Trumpo has gotten behind a plan to ban private equity companies from buying up homes just to make a profit and pricing regular people out of ownership.

Writing on social media, Mr. Pres said, “That American Dream is increasingly out of reach for far too many people, especially younger Americans. People live in homes, not corporations.”

I mean he’s not wrong.

Ironically the 2008 housing crisis offered up cheap houses that only large investor firms could afford buy and now investors like Blackstone are landlords to tens of thousands of homes.

But already the news is having an impact with shares in Blackstone dipping 5%, the building company FirstSource also dropped 5 and Invitation Homes dipped 6%.

Homes A-Loan 2: Lost In New York ft. DJ Trump

It’s not a bad idea, but currently it’s a tiny piece of FLEXTAPE™ on burst dam. This shot at housing run for profit needs to be expanded into a full blown war until the entire culture around the market changes.

Will the business President be the one to decouple houses from profit-seekers? My guess is no, but at least he’s taking this small step.

Give him some slack though, he’s only got small feet.

For more on this story, read this: Houses Now Twice As Unaffordable As Not Affordable

In 2025, Polymarket gamblers put $3.3 million on Jesus’ return and now the site has renewed the bet for 2026. Call it a second coming.

“Will Jesus Christ return before 2027?” already has $160,190 pledged on a 3% chance the big JC’s encore will be this year. Only 4% have actually bet in favor of the lord, but he’s still got time to prove the haters wrong.

Oh, and if you were wondering, no he didn’t make his divine self known last year either. At least, that’s “a consensus of credible sources,” but what do they know?

Jesus Return Polymarket — Ok, but how is the graph going up and down? WHAT NEW INFORMATION COULD THEY POSSIBLY HAVE GAINED??

Pascal’s Wager

As many Redditors have been quick to point out, isn’t betting on Jesus Clearwater Revival a little bit counterintuitive since the moment he comes back to judge the living and the dead and smite the wicked won’t all your Polymarket winnings be a bit worthless?

“If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” – Matthew 19:21

“It’s harder to stick a needle into a camel than it is for you richos to enter the kingdom of heaven or something.” – Jezzer, the Bible.

Jesus Christ? More Like, Jesus MIGHT Come Back!

Now this might all be a bit of fun but what if it’s now? What if it’s deadly serious? This is people’s religion you’re messing with here. Some people get up every day and dedicate themselves to the whims of the stock market and you’re making light of that commitment.

As Melinda Roth, associate professor of Washington and Lee School of Law, told Bloomberg, it’s “distracting” and “diminishes the value of actual prediction markets that provide insights and useful information.”

So please stop, you’re being offensive.

As for the religious aspect well, everyone knows Jesus is just a bedtime story. You want to know what’s actually a sure thing? The second coming of the postman. Why? Because he always knocks twice of course!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Ha.

For more gambling news, read this: Trump Considers Cutting Tax On Gambling Winnings, Will The Bet Pay Off?

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Oh, sure, just because he can afford to do that…

How many ‘r’s are there in a ‘post-scarcity AI economy’?

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Off with his head!

Jerome Powell? More like Jerome POWell

So what happens next?

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