May, 2026 | Wall Street Memes

They Don’t Call Him ‘Fast Fingers Donald’…

Donald (the President) Trump has traded stocks more than 3,700 times in the first quarter of this year, averaging 59 trades a day, 9 trades an hour and one trade every seven minutes.

Now you might be wondering, how does he find the time? What if he needs to go to sleep, or eat, or join a step aerobics class that takes longer than seven minutes?

Well, as Vice President, JD Vance explained in a White House press briefing, “The president doesn’t sit at the Oval Office on his computer on his, like, Robinhood account, buying and selling stocks. That’s absurd. He has independent wealth advisors who manage his money. He is a wealthy person. He has had success in business. He’s not making these stock trades himself.”

And Vice Vance is right, he doesn’t manage his portfolio directly. Instead, a third party of independent execs manages Donald’s accounts.

“Neither President Trump, his family, nor The Trump Organization plays any role in selecting, directing, or approving specific investments,” said a spokesperson for the family business. “They receive no advance notice of trading activity and provide no input regarding investment decisions or portfolio management.”

But still, this hasn’t stopped reporters and pundits from pointing out some pretty interesting links between some of the President’s trades.

Pelosi Who?

For example, a $6 million investment in Nvidia goes alongside Trump approving the sale of chips to China last year. And then there are the stocks he holds in Lockheed Martin, General Dynamics, and Northrop Grumman that were directly impacted by the Iran war.

In March, Trump’s portfolio expanded its share in Palantir. Then, in April, Trump tweeted an X on Truth Social, saying, “Palantir Technologies (PLTR) has proven to have great war fighting capabilities and equipment. Just ask our enemies!!! President DJT.”

Ooh, he even included the ticker.

But hey, lots of people were hyping up Palantir at the time, again, this might just be a coincidence.

If anything, Vance/Vice says Trump is actively against this sort of thing. “All of us believe that nobody should be taking proprietary information gained from public service and buying and selling stocks,” he said.

“We want to ban that process. And I think the way to lead by example is banning that process, banning that approach, and making it illegal, which is exactly what the president has proposed doing.”

Wow, he really said that? You’re saying Is-raelquote?

The 2028 Presidential Race is on the horizon, and Donald Trump is once again playing 4D chess. His latest political tactic: running for Prime Minister of Israel.

When asked by reporters about how Netanyahu would behave regarding Iran, Trump said, “I’m right now at 99% [approval rate] in Israel. I could run for Prime Minister, so maybe after I do this, I’ll go to Israel, run for Prime Minister.”

Now, the comment was probably a joke, and Trump was merely saying that he’s very popular in Israel, more popular than its actual leader, in fact.

The comments were ahead of a lengthy call between the two leaders in which they discussed the war in Iran.

Netanyahu has not responded directly to Trump’s supposed leadership challenge, but Axios has reported that his “hair was on fire after the call”. Again, that probably wasn’t supposed to be taken literally.

Trump’s Path To Power (but not the power he currently has, like, a different kind)

Trump is correct in his claim that Netanyahu’s approval rating has declined, but that probably won’t be enough to unseat the sitting Prime Minister.

Trump would first have to restart his political career in Israel and become an elected politician in the Knesset. Then, Trump would have to be selected by that party to become Prime Minister and form a majority government within 28 days.

Of course, Trump could be selected as an interim Prime Minister should anything happen to Netanyahu, but this would upset the traditional order of succession.

Either way, Trump would have to defeat Israel’s longest-serving Prime Minister in a political head-to-head. Bibi might not be as popular as he used to be, but having served six terms as PM, he still holds a lot of power.

Huh… It’s looking more and more likely that Trump didn’t completely mean what he said.

For context, here’s the full quote:

“He’s fine, he’ll do whatever I want him to do. He’s a very, very good man. He’ll do whatever I want him to do and he’s, he’s a great guy. To me, he’s a great guy. Don’t forget he was a wartime Prime Minister. And he’s not treated right in Israel, in my opinion. I’m right now at 99% in Israel. I could run for Prime Minister, so maybe after I do this, I’ll go to Israel, run for Prime Minister.”

He could certainly run, that’s true. Whether he wins or not is another question. So sure, maybe after this, he will run. We’ll just have to wait and see.

SpaceX’s IPO filing is in! And with these files comes the biggest tranche of juicy info since some other files were released (the UFO files, obviously). But perhaps the biggest reveal from these documents is just how big Anthropic’s investment actually is.

As previously reported, earlier this month, Anthropic struck a deal with SpaceX to use its Memphis-based Colossus data facility (the world’s largest AI supercomputer) to increase Claude’s computing capacity by a massive 300 megawatts.

But now the exact figures behind the deal have been revealed and the numbers are staggering.

According to the filing, Anthropic will pay SpaceX $1.25 billion a month until May 2029. Although the agreement could be terminated with 90 days’ notice by either party, should it stay in place, the windfall could be as much as $40 billion for SpaceX.

The money is a much-needed sweetener ahead of SpaceX’s upcoming IPO, as the filing also revealed SpaceX’s deepening financial troubles.

Last year, SpaceX was operating at a net loss of $4.9 billion. And in the first three months of this year, that loss was $4.3 billion. Although the company pulls in billions in revenue and has hundreds of billions in assets, the company also has $60.5 billion in debt.

Anthropic to the rescue

Here is where the Anthropic deal starts to fall into place.

Claude’s daddy is providing an essential revenue stream to the company. Elon was clearly playing 4D chess with the xAI/SpaceX merger, seeing that AI is the future of tech (or at the very least a modern gold rush).

By combining xAI with SpaceX, Elon secured Anthropic’s investment and signalled the company’s ambitions to put AI data centres into orbit.

All of which makes for a much tastier IPO, regardless of the debt and revenue shortfall.

And of course, it’s Elon himself who will take home the massive win when SpaceX does gain its ticker. With a potential valuation of $1.25 trillion, Musk’s majority ownership could be worth more than $600 billion.

If all goes according to plan, that would make Elon Musk the world’s first trillionaire.

We’ll wait and see how the IPO actually pans out but one thing’s for certain, SpaceX is going to da moon.

Fun fact: Bezos is almost an anagram of ‘zero’

The fourth-richest man, and notable Amazonian, Jeffrey Preston Bezos has called for zero federal income tax for the bottom half of earners. Aw, thanks!

Squawking on CNBC’s ‘Squawk Box’, Jeff spoke on a number of topics from Blue Origin to his favorite brand of shampoo. But touching on wealth inequality, Bezos talked about how his parents came up from poverty (not the unicycling hockey player… look it up), but now many Americans today face roadblocks to doing this in the form of taxation.

“We can give them a better chance by eliminating their tax bill,” Bezos explained. “I don’t want to reduce it, I want to eliminate it. I think there’s something very powerful about ‘zero’. Zero is a better number than one dollar. We’re ‘free shipping’ at Amazon, not 25 cents shipping. When people are starting out and struggling, stop taxing them.”

Jeff went on to lay out how the top 1% of taxpayers pay about 40% of all the tax revenue, while the lower half of workers pay 3% of the tax.

“I don’t think it should be 3%,” Bezos said. “I think it should be zero.”

“We shouldn’t be asking this nurse in Queens to send money to Washington. They should be sending her an apology. It really makes no sense.”

BREAKING: 0 and 3 are two different numbers

Although Bezos didn’t say if he would advocate politically for such a change, his comments do come as several lawmakers are exploring the possibility of such a tax reduction.

“No income tax on the first $75,000 families earn would be a game changer for working people,” said Senator Corey Booker in a legislative proposal. “This tax cut would immediately put more money in your pocket every month to deal with the high price of everyday expenses, an unexpected emergency, or to plan for the future.”

Such reforms would impact the 76 million households in the bottom half of earners. On average, these earners paid $913 in taxes in 2023. Although adding on refundable tax credits, the bottom 40% of taxpayers effectively paid no income tax anyway, according to Erica York, vice president of federal tax policy for the Tax Foundation.

Needless to say, America’s tax system is not as straightforward as it looks, but what is true is that we’re in a “K-shaped economy,” so called because it’s not OK. Lower-income families are disproportionately affected by inflation and increasing costs. The tax bill is just the cherry on top.

Jeff might pay a higher tax rate, but he seems to understand that it just gets harder the further below that 1% you go. But for now, it’s just talk, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be seeing his policy enacted anytime soon.

Google has announced that Google will no longer be Google

At Google I/O this week, the tech company unveiled an overhaul of its flagship search box into an “intelligent search box”. AI-powered, conversational, and capable of deploying AI “information agents”, Google says this is the biggest change to search in 25 years.

This might spell the end for that simple list of blue links that we imagine when we think of the internet. And that might be sad, but the truth is the internet has been heading this way for a long time.

Who clicks on page two of Google anyway?

You see, navigating the internet has always evolved in eras. At first, getting anywhere worked like an address book. There was no map: you needed to know the exact URL you wanted to visit, or you weren’t going anywhere.

The advent of search engines was like someone drawing the first map. Now you had more of a guide, but you still had to find your own way. Sure, Google wasn’t the first search engine, but it stormed ahead of the competition by just working better than all the others. At launch, Google had faster, fairer results, untampered by ads and clutter.

The next era was like the development of map apps. Now, search engines wouldn’t just show you where to find the information: they would give you answers. Fuelled by interactive pop-ups that quoted websites and widgets such as currency converters and translators, sifting through the hyperlinks was often now the second port of call.

By this point, Google dominated search and ‘Google’ was almost synonymous with ‘the internet’. Without any competition, they were able to push adverts, features, and products far beyond their remit of just finding you the website you were looking for. Google was no longer a guide but a destination in itself.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to Google search ‘news about Google’s new search’?

Now we enter the next era of navigating the internet: AI.

Ever since AI has become properly functional, Google has integrated AI tools into almost all its products. Search has been no exception, and AI summaries are now at the top of most queries. But this week’s announcement goes far beyond that initial rollout, offering pretty much all of Google’s AI tools right there in the search box.

So, if we started with just an address book, then got a map, then an app, now it’s like we’re searching with semi-sentient self-driving cars.

Note that crucially, each of the eras has not just shaped how we search but created a feedback loop that has shaped how the internet itself behaves.

When the internet was just disconnected websites, each one could exist with a separate, distinct purpose. Search engines brought about the era of SEO and encouraged websites to climb the rankings. Single-purpose websites would lose out to the sites that offered a bit of everything, bringing about our current era of an internet dominated by just a handful of single sites.

But at the top of every Google ranking was always Google itself. So Google made itself into the ultimate everything website, and the actual sites you were looking for were pushed down the rankings.

Now is just the next step in that evolution.

All the other websites will still be there, sure, but most people likely won’t need to visit them when AI can summarize them for you. And so the internet ecosystem will evolve once again to match this change.

Google is dead, long live Google

This endgame all becomes clear at the top of Google’s latest press release, which says that: “The goal of Search has always been simple: to help you ask anything on your mind,” because… has that really always been the goal of search?

Now that’s the goal, sure, and AI has made that possible. But originally, the goal of Search was just to help you find the website you were looking for.

Originally, Google Search was nothing more than a map. Now it’s your own personal tour guide.

President Donald Trump has settled with his own Justice Department in maybe the most bizarre legal case in US history.

As experts explained it to the presiding judge, “A sitting president seeks monetary damages for alleged harm to his personal interests from an executive agency that he controls.”

But the $10 billion lawsuit never went before the judge because two days before the deadline to start the case, the plaintiffs (the Trump organization) settled with the IRS (Internal Revenue Service).

Now, Trump and his sons will receive a formal apology from the IRS for leaking Trump’s tax returns just before the election, and the IRS will create a $1.8 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund” that can be paid out to other victims of unfair political investigation.

So Trump sued himself, settled with himself, and will now pay himself?

Well, no, he can’t just pay himself. Instead, this tax-funded fund (fun!) is to provide a “systematic process to hear and redress claims of those who suffered under weaponisation and lawfare.”

Oh, lawfare, like warfare. I see what you did there.

As Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche explains, “The machinery of government should never be weaponised against any American, and it is this Department’s intention to make right the wrongs that were previously done while ensuring this never happens again.”

Tax Return To Sender

But this settlement isn’t the end of it. The Justice Department’s press release was quietly amended a day later to include a hyperlink to additional terms of the agreement.

According to CNN, these bonus terms read, “The federal government is “FOREVER BARRED and PRECLUDED” from prosecuting or pursuing “claims” or “examinations” arising from matters pending before the IRS, including “tax returns” filed by Trump before the agreement was reached. The language applies not just to Trump, but to his family, trusts, companies and other affiliates.”

Democrats have filed a motion to block the settlement and say this is just a way for Trump to give money to his allies and ensure “his family, and his companies’ taxes are permanently off limits,” said Democrat Richard Neal in a Tweet.

While we don’t yet know how the fund will be spent, we also don’t know if the lawsuit had any grounds or not because it never went to trial. The allegation was that the IRS didn’t do enough to stop former IRS contractor Charles Littlejohn from leaking Trump’s taxes (he’s now in prison, btw. Not Trump, the leaker).

So now I guess we’ll never know if that’s true or if the damage was worth $10 billion because the trial never happened and everyone just agreed it was worth $1.8 billion instead.

No doubt this story isn’t over, and the Anti-Weaponization Fund has a lot of lawfare still to come.

Elon Musk’s lawsuit against OpenAI has been overturned by a jury that says he waited too long to bring his grievance to trial.

…Couldn’t they have said that from the start? Or were they also waiting just to prove a point?

Musk was fighting OpenAI’s transition into a for-profit company following his ousting in 2018. But during the trial, OpenAI’s current CEO, Sam Altman, alleged that Elon was for the idea.

“A particularly hair-raising moment was when my co-founders asked, ‘If you have control, what happens when you die?’” Altman explained. Elon then “said something like, ‘maybe it should pass to my children.’”

Well, now nothing’s passing to anyone anyway, as all of that (and the three weeks of testimonials) was apparently hypothetical because the case has been thrown out on a “calendar technicality” (as Elon describes it).

Elon says he plans to fight the case on appeal, but after a judge and jury have sided against him, it’s unlikely that he’d win a rematch.

An Open(AI) And Shut Case

So what does this mean for the wider tech world?

Well, the ruling means OpenAI won’t have any more roadblocks in its transition into a fully for-profit company, enabling it to keep its place as a flagship AI company.

Sorry, Grok.

Had the lawsuit been successful, however, it would be a very different story. Altmans’ OpenAI might easily have been hangstrung with a purely not-for-profit remit and be forced to step out of the AI spotlight.

That vacuum could have then left room for companies like Anthropic, Microsoft, or Google to take on its market share.

So the impact of this lawsuit is less about what’s happened and more about the scenario that’s been prevented from happening: OpenAI won’t revert to nonprofit status, ChatGPT can continue in its push towards profitability, and Elon likely won’t regain the reins any time soon.

But in an alternate universe where Elon won, the tech world would have been changed forever. Would XAI, sorry, SpaceXAI, have taken the place of OpenAI is this crazy future? Well, I guess thanks to this court case, we’ll never know.

Wait, just how big is her underwear?

Last September, a truck driver was stopped in England with a delivery of Kim Kardashian’s shapewear brand, ‘SKIMS’. After x-raying the vehicle, border guards discovered the truck contained a delivery of Kim Kardashian’s shapewear brand, ‘SKIMS’.

They also discovered 90 packages of cocaine hidden in the truck’s back doors.

The 198 pounds of drugs were said to be worth $8.4 million. It’s unclear how much the underwear was worth.

The driver, 40-year-old Jakub Jan Konkel, initially denied smuggling the underwear but confessed to transporting the drugs for a €4,500 ($5,276 (¥832149)) payment.

This week, the driver was sentenced to 13 years and six months in prison for drug smuggling and “crimes against fashion”.

As Paul Orchard, of the National Crime Agency, explained, “Organised crime groups use corrupt drivers like Konkel to move Class A drugs often hidden on entirely legitimate loads such as this.”

“The detection and investigation have removed a significant amount of cocaine whose profits are lost to the crime group behind the smuggling attempt, and with Konkel they’ve lost an important enabler.”

We got ‘em, boys.

Keeping Up With The Kartel

Despite sharing the same first letter of their names, Konkel appears to have no connection with the billionaire socialite, Kim Kardashian.

Kardashian could not be reached for comment, and not just because she’s blocked me on Instagram.

Skims (pronounced SKIMS) was founded in 2019 by Kardashian and Swedish entrepreneurs Emma and Jens Grede. Skims sold out within ten minutes of launch and earned $2 million in profits on the first day. Since then, the company has reached a valuation of $5 billion.

…Sounds like the real money’s in the underwear, Konkel.

But he would say that, wouldn’t he?

Microsoft AI’s CEO, Mustafa Suleyman, recently predicted that white-collar workers might see themselves replaced within just 18 months.

Suleyman did not clarify whether his job was first on the chopping block, but he did look a little nervous as he said, “human-level performance on most, if not all professional tasks” will be done by AI.

Legal, marketing, and project management roles are particularly vulnerable, according to Mustafa, but “anyone writing financial satire is completely irreplaceable”. Huh, weirdly specific shout-out at the end there…

But it won’t just be white-collar workers affected by this change. For example, white-collar shirt manufacturer ‘Whitey Tighty Ltd.’ has spoken out against the news.

“If AI is going to take white-collar jobs, then who will buy all our white collars?” complained Arnold Whitey with tears in his eyes. “What’s that? ‘We could switch to making blue collars?’ What, are you sick? I spit on you. Never in a million years.”

White-collar? More like, wh-AI-te coll-AI-r, amiright?

Of course, the CEO of an AI company might not be completely impartial when he says that AI is ‘pretty powerful, actually.’

A study from the non-profit METR (Model Evaluation and Threat Research) found that AI actually made software developers’ tasks take 20% longer. And while you might have already seen headlines of entire job roles becoming AI-automated, some of these rumors may have been greatly exaggerated.

For example, early this year, Jack Dorsey’s latest startup, ‘Block’, fired 4,000 employees and said it was due to AI, when really they just overhired during COVID.

So is this more AI hype, or will 50%-60% of the global workforce be gone in the space of a year and a half?

CoPilot: Set an alert, ‘Am I fired yet?’ for 18 months.

I’ll get back to you then.

Back in 2018, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman paid a $10,000 deposit to ‘Nectome’, a tech startup looking to preserve people’s brains in the hope that they can one day be uploaded to a computer.

Unlike cryogenic freezing, which is designed to preserve the whole body, Nectome plans to embalm just the brain with aldehyde-stabilised cryopreservation. The brain can’t be unfrozen, but by freezing the neurons in place, Nectome hopes that the brain’s ‘connectome’, and therefore the person’s mind, can be recreated digitally in the future.

As Nectome describes it, they are “archiving your mind.”

But the controversial part is that, unlike cryogenics, the process isn’t done once the person’s dead; the process is done while the person is alive, and it’s “100 percent fatal.”

The company’s co-founder, Robert McIntyre, said the process would feel “identical to physician-assisted suicide.” But, err, how does he know?

More like, Sam Altered-man

According to early reports, Mr. Altman joined a 25-person waiting list with his investment. That deposit is refundable; however, perhaps if Sam decides he doesn’t want to live forever, actually.

However, later reporting clarified that the “waiting list” was in fact 30 “early supporters” of the project who hadn’t been promised anything. However, as McIntyre candidly explains, “Product-market fit is people believing that it works.”

‘Belief’ is the keyword there because if it doesn’t work, they’ll never actually know and literally kill themselves for no reason.

For reference, scientists have only been able to recreate the complete connectomes of fruit flies and worms. But Nectome investors are clearly hopeful that the upward trajectory of the research will one day enable scientists to recreate an entire human mind digitally.

It’s a massive gamble, but hey, the other option is certain death, so maybe $10,000 is a worthwhile bet.

Either way, we’ll probably never know if it pays off.

Latest news

Trump Traded A Stock Every 7 Minutes In Q1 And Some Of His Moves Are Wild

Trump Suggests He Could “Run For Prime Minister” Of Israel, Here’s How Netanyahu Responded

Anthropic To Pay SpaceX $1.25 Billion A Month Until 2029 And The Reason Is Insane

Jeff Bezos Just Said The Bottom Half Of Workers Should Pay “Zero” Taxes But Will It Happen?

Google Unveils AI-Powered Search Box: The Internet As You Knew It Is Dead

IRS “Forever Barred” From Auditing Trump And Family In Settlement, And That’s Not Even The Craziest Part

They Don’t Call Him ‘Fast Fingers Donald’…

Pelosi Who?

Related Articles

Ima Short • May 13, 2026

The Big Short’s Michael Burry Says Wall Street Is “Minutes” Away From “Bloody Car Crash”

Ima Short • May 5, 2026

Michael Burry Just Dropped His GameStop Position After They Made This One Wrong Move

Bill Fold • April 23, 2026

Jeff Bezos Was Only Paid A $81,400 Salary, Here’s How He Can Still Afford His $237m Mansion

Latest news

Trump Traded A Stock Every 7 Minutes In Q1 And Some Of His Moves Are Wild

Trump Suggests He Could “Run For Prime Minister” Of Israel, Here’s How Netanyahu Responded

Anthropic To Pay SpaceX $1.25 Billion A Month Until 2029 And The Reason Is Insane

Jeff Bezos Just Said The Bottom Half Of Workers Should Pay “Zero” Taxes But Will It Happen?

Google Unveils AI-Powered Search Box: The Internet As You Knew It Is Dead

IRS “Forever Barred” From Auditing Trump And Family In Settlement, And That’s Not Even The Craziest Part

Bill Fold• May 21, 2026D

Trump Traded A Stock Every 7 Minutes In Q1 And Some Of His Moves Are Wild

Bill Fold• D

Trump Traded A Stock Every 7 Minutes In Q1 And Some Of His Moves Are Wild

Trending News