Marge Incall | Wall Street Memes

Officials from the United States of America (USA) have started a fresh round of trade talks with the People’s Republic of China, this time in Sweden, after both parties got lost.

Reportedly, American diplomats insisted that the negotiations take place on home turf, whilst China likewise refused to talk anywhere other than home. Finally, after months of negotiation on Zoom, both countries agreed to the others demands and so set off for eachothers respective countries.

On the long journey from the US to China and vice versa, the representatives became very lost and met each other at roughly the halfway point on their trips: Sweden.

Though neither side brought appropriate clothing for the cold weather, it turns out Sweden has indoor rooms, so both sides have now sat down for a cordial chat.

In blue corner, all the way from America, Washington we have Tresasury Secretary Scott Bessent and in the red corner, representing the great state of Bejing, China it’s Vice Premier He Lifeng!

The two have until August 12th to duke it out because that’s when their temporary tariff pause will lift and import taxes could go back up to higher than 100% (impossible btw).

China is the next big target for America after a string of winning deals were ironed out with the UK, Japan and most recently the EU. China’s the biggest economy in the world I think so that would be a really good get for these guys.

The US has yet to work out a deal with Mexico and Canada, America’s biggest trade partners.

I am a little confused though, did America only appear a month ago? Why are all these deals being made like we’re the new kid on the block? Like, I know, it’s Trump, he reset everything with his crazy threats but it seems like SUCH a hard reset, like everyone’s starting from complete scratch and everything needs to be renegotiated. What is this, Brexit?

Anyways, seems like maybe the things are evening out and the previous market panic has worn off. Turns out they just needed time to relax. So, we’ll see where things go from here.

All my love, xxx

For more tariff-ic news, click here: HEARTBREAKING: Rabid Monkey In Charge Of Tariffs Dies

Millions of people across America are collectively standing in a bedroom doorway, crying for Elon Musk and Donald Trump to end their bitter feud.

The once-perfect pairing of two overpowered narcissists with completely different world views has turned sour in a way that no one could have possibly predicted.

The catalyst has been Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill (still can’t believe it’s called that), currently trending on X as the ‘Big Ugly Bill’. As the deadline looms and lawmakers get deeper into the debate over its merits, Musk has lashed out again.

Musk went on a tweeting spree yesterday, Xing out against raising the national debt and threatening to form a new party, the cleverly named ‘America Party’, should the bill pass.

Elon feels the bill goes too far and doesn’t go far enough, or something? Idk, it’s like the biggest tax cut the wealthy has ever seen, I don’t know why he’s not happy. It’s going to increase the national debt, I think, which Musk hates, or loves, or something, idk, not sure why he’s got skin in this game.

Any which ways, he’s escalated things, claiming Trump is in the Epstein files and most recently offering to financially support any lawmakers who go against his bill. That’s a bribe, right? We can call that a bribe.

So Trump hits back with a, “Elon may get more subsidy [sick] than any human being in history, by far, and without subsidies, Elon would probably have to close up shop and head back home to South Africa. No more Rocket launches, Satellites, or Electric Car Production, and our Country would save a FORTUNE. Perhaps we should have DOGE take a good, hard look at this? BIG MONEY TO BE SAVED!!!”

Trump Musk America Feud Tweet — Elon likely to receive a call from ICE in the coming weeks

And all of this leaves us looking on, teary-eyed, thinking it’s all our fault, wondering what we could do to pull them back together. How can we make them stop? Why do they have to be so mean? Why don’t they love each other anymore? They used to love each other. They used to love each other.

At least no one will get developmental issues from this, right? RIGHT?

As for who’s mommy and who’s daddy in this scenario, I’ll let you sick freaks work that one out for yourselves.

For more on this story, click here: Trump Wins Custody Of Joe Rogan In Divorce With Musk

The artist formerly known as Twitter, ‘X’, has decided to just make everything easier for everyone by pinning the phrase ‘WW3’ to the top of their trending bar.

As users have been quick to point out, whenever anything even mildly destabilising happens across the world, ‘World War 3’ quickly jumps to the top of X’s list of most-used phrases.

Now, given the abundance of conflict and uncertainty for the future, X forsees ‘WW3’ not leaving anyone’s lips for a while and has made the sensible decision to pin the phrase to the top of the bar.

“WW3 and World War 3 have been by far the most trending topic of 2025,” explained X CEO Elon Musk. “Just this past week, Iran broke their ceasefire and Russia declared war on Venezuela, so I think WW3 is going to stay relevant until, I guess WW3 actually does happen, then maybe people will stop talking about it.”

Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have followed suit by creating an entirely new tab just for the highly popular ‘WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!’ content.

Mr. Merriam Webster, the guy in charge of the dictionary, also named World War III as his word of 2025, even though World War III is three words, idiot. This guy thinks he knows words? Phhff.

Guess what their word for 2024 was? It was brainrot. Yeah. And here we are.

But what do you think? Do you think WW3 is really going to happen? Don’t just say what everyone else is saying. Don’t look at his answer, no, no copying, come on, I want to hear what you think, honestly. With all your knowledge of history and geopolitics and the launch ranges of nuclear ICBMs, do you think a third world war is really on the cards?

If it is, do you think it would even look like those wars from a hundred years ago?

Is the idea of the end of the world really the next logical option, or is it just an unshakeable hangover from the fearmongering propaganda that saturated media throughout the 20th century?

Are you scared?

Does throwing your hands up and calling it over make you feel more assured in your understanding of the world?

Do you think we will ever find hope again?

…We hope you enjoyed this humorous article! For more laugh-out-loud fun, please click here: BREAKING: Yes, War Still Going On

BREAKING NEWS: In two completely unrelated coincidences (that are in no way connected to one another), WAR has broken out between India and Pakistan mere days after Apple Inc. announced plans to shift all iPhone production to India.

Apple recently increased Indian iPhone production (basically the same as normal iPhone production but in India) by 60% for a total of $22 billion worth of tech. Now that’s either a lot of iPhones or just one really expensive iPhone.

Meanwhile, IN COMPLETELY UNRELATED NEWS, India and Pakistan have recently increased airstrike production by 100% for a total of just lots and lots of people being dead now. So that’s fun.

Apple CEO Tim Cook has explained that they are deeply saddened by the recent development and are confused as to why anyone is suggesting that they are somehow involved.

Conspiracy theorists are pointing out that this is just another example of Apple stoking an international conflict as a subliminal marketing strategy.

“Just look at the letters,” explained local weirdo, Martin Eeems, “Israel-Palestine… India-Pakistan… I-P… I-Phone. Checkmate, atheists.”

Mr. Eeems is an idiot, however, and there is no conspiracy theory, just economics.

The initial decision to switch production to India came about as a way to circumvent the worst of Trump’s tariffs on China. The outbreak of war, however, might scupper Apple’s plans, and Cook is rumored to be looking to move production to more peaceful countries like Palestine or Ukraine.

When asked whether they would be making a U-Turn on their India plan, however, Apple’s response was, “What, and make iPhones in America? Like Trump wants us to do? Ew. Hell no.”

Apple faces a significant market drop since the news hit, but I’m not sure why anyone is surprised. Apples famously fall from trees.

As for the war, who knows what will happen, but everyone at Wall Street Memes is praying for a swift end to the conflict and that no more innocent blood is shed.

For more distasteful comedy, click here: Israel Attacks Sweden in Desperate ‘Bamboozle’ Strategy

One hundred unarmed men have been arrested for breaking into the gorilla enclosure known as ‘Gorilla World’ at the Cincinnati Zoo. Reportedly, the men were encouraged to trespass following an online meme that asked whether 100 unarmed men could win in a fight against a single gorilla.

Unfortunately, the men were unable to fully test the theory as only one man was able to get close enough to assault the big gorilla. The men did, however, answer the question of who would win in a fight: 100 unarmed men or a fully armed SWAT team.

Cincinnati Zoo released a statement saying they are relieved that no gorillii were harmed and only one man died during the incident.

“We really didn’t want to become a meme again,” said Cincinnati Zoo spokesperson, Carlos Regaulary. “After Harambe violently passed away, and everyone made fun of that, we didn’t want that to happen again.”

“Yeah, our gorilla, Gladys, would have beaten the shit out of one hundred men but you still don’t want to test it.”

100 Men vs. 1 Gorilla: Tickets On Sale Now

Dylan Pilsenty, one of the surviving 100 unarmed men, seemed unrepentant of his actions, “I did it for science, you know? I’d willingly put my life on the line to answer this age-old question. You think Einstein of Mythbusters ever did that? No, because they’re pussys.”

The group that goes by the name, ‘100 Unarmed Men’ is looking to recruit another member to replace the one who died by gorilla. After serving their prison sentence, they say they have plans to get straight back out there and try again.

“Someone’s got to do it, and I know it’s going to be these 100 men,” explained Mr. Pilsenty. “We’re thinking if the gorilla thing all goes to plan, we’re going to try a rhino next.”

Pilsenty went on to explain that had they succeeded, their tactic was to “punch the gorilla really hard at least 100 times”.

The ‘100 Unarmed Men’ say they then plan to monetise future events via pay-to-view services and sports gambling tie-ins.

Animal rights activists have unanimously condemned the group’s actions because god forbid anyone has a dream these days.

In a shocking turn of events that has shocked Americans across the Americas, it turns out that there has been another America above America this whole time. And they also have major political news? OK, slow down there, Jimmy, one thing at a time.

Apparently, this ‘Canada’ somehow has news in addition to all the American news we’re already very busy with. This less interesting news revolves around the unveiling of Canadia’s newly unveiled Liberal Party leader who will face off against the currently more popular Conservative party in the upcoming election for the position of Prime Minister.

To translate that into English: mini-America has announced the new head of their Democrats who’s gonna fight against their Republicans for who gets to be President.

As the world enters a new era of economic war because of AMERICA, Canadia has selected Mark Carney, a finance guy, to lead the way. He’s running on an anti-Trump platform as Canadians are becoming increasingly irritated by the American President’s anti-Canadian rhetoric which is just anti-American if you ask me.

Trump has blamed his northern neighbors for immigration, fentanyl smuggling and has threatened to make Canada the 51st state of America, which is embarrassing for Trump because I guess he doesn’t realize that the 51st state is actually Kentunky.

Because of this, Carney’s vowed to keep Canada’s retaliatory tariffs against America and honestly, who does he think he is? Does he know he’s not the main character here?

The hope is that he’ll lose the election and then America and Trump can go back to hogging the front page of the news AS IS OUR RIGHT. Canada can go back to eating bark or whatever it is they do there.

That’s enough about Canada, you know what, they’ve stolen the spotlight for LONG ENOUGH. Let’s go back to, what, let’s see, oh, here’s some news: Trump says he isn’t responsible for the market crash or any potential upcoming government shutdown. Now THAT’S news. You’ve got to have Trump in your news. It’s the rules. IT’S THE RULES. If it’s not about Trump, is it news? I don’t think so.
You know what? Maybe, this whole ‘Canada’ news, if you think about it, it is about Trump after all. Carney won a landslide in reaction to who? Trump. Who’s he talking about more than his granddaughter Margaret? Trump. Ok, great this really IS news then! Better than that, it’s actually American news, after all! Ha HA! Take that Canadia! 51st state here we come!

For more Canada news, don’t read this: Well, That’s Just Tariff-ic! Trump’s Trade War Ruins My Chances Of Becoming A Millionaire

In a story that looks like a parody news writer wrote it, the United States is braced to accept 420 (blaze it) million eggs from a single very, very prolific turkey. Get that boy a presidential pardon!

Whilst turkey eggs have a slightly different taste and texture to chicken eggs, farmers are assured that… Oh, wait, no, it’s not a turkey it’s Turkey, the country. Ahhh, OK, that makes more sense.

America is currently experiencing an egg shortage caused partially by avian flu but mostly by local man ‘Gaston’ who reportedly eats 60 eggs every morning. A baker’s dozen of eggs are now an average of $4.95 but to be fair, that’s Kamala Harris’ fault.

Thankfully Turkey (again, not a single bird) has stepped in to plug the egg-shaped hole with, get this: an egg. Turkey’s ‘Egg Producers Central Union’ (the only egg union worth listening to, if you ask me) claims that the 420 million exported eggs will be the most ever eggs exported ever.

Eggs.

Turkey is the fifth-largest eggs-porter in the world and the only country that eggsports to America. No idea why though. But now Turkey’s going to do that but more.

Some eggsperts warn that this won’t be enough, however. Local egg-thusiast Benjamin Yuup commented, “THAT’S NOT ENOUGH EGGS!” But what does he know? Nothing.

Unlike the Occupation of Constantinople (1918-1923) this is not a problem that can be solved by the introduction of Turkey and various other solutions will be required to tackle the bird-demic. Maybe America will start vaccinating its chickens like the rest of the world? Mmm, nah. You think I’m going to let Bill Gates put microchips in my nuggies? Get real. GET REAL.

BONUS EGG FACT: The egg predates the chicken by 500,000,000 years!

Beloved Sesame Street character Elmo found himself accidentally encased in concrete during the latest expansion of the iconic children’s television show location. The incident, which occurred during a construction project to add a new playground area, left Elmo unable to move and screaming for help.

According to sources close to the production, the mishap occurred when a crew of construction workers accidentally poured wet concrete into the area where Elmo was standing, mistaking him for a decorative rock. Elmo, who was reportedly engrossed in counting numbers, was unaware of the danger until it was too late.

“We were all in shock,” said Big Bird, who witnessed the incident. “One minute Elmo was there, counting his numbers, and the next minute he was dead. Wait, no, not dead, sorry, just buried up to his neck in concrete.”

Since the Sesame Street emergency crews are also puppets they were ineffectual at removing Elmo before the quick-setting concrete hardened. After several days of chiseling away at the concrete to free the relentlessly shrieking Elmo, Elmo was extracted at the small cost of a limb.

“Elmo is a tough cookie,” said Cookie Monster, who helped to comfort Elmo after the incident. “He’s already back to his old self, counting numbers, making us all laugh. Yeah, he’s missing an arm but hey, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.”

Sesame Street producers have since apologized for the incident and have promised to implement stricter safety protocols on set. The first of which is to ban Elmo from the street until a full investigation can be undertaken. They have also assured fans that Elmo is doing well and that the show will continue to produce new episodes as scheduled.

In a statement, Elmo himself said, “Elmo is okay! Elmo learned a valuable lesson about construction safety! Elmo reminds children that construction sites are not play areas even if that’s what they’re building! Like Elmo always says, ‘If you want to keep your limbs, don’t go for a swim (in concrete)!’”

Despite the positive message, lawyers predict that Elmo will likely sue for damages.

26-year-old Luigi Mangione has been arrested in relation to the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO, Brian Thompson. But lawyers say he is unlikely to be convicted since “He was really cool about it.”

Thompson was shot and killed outside of a New York hotel last week. The shooter left no clues other than the words “deny”, “defend”, and “depose” written on the shell casings and a backpack filled with Monopoly money which is god damn Joker-shit, I’m telling you.

Once Luigi Mangione was revealed to be a suspect, the internet went into meltdown because, plot twist, he’s really hot.

“Yeah, we’re pretty sure he’s not going to jail,” said Angus Eurgh, a prominent New York lawyer you might have seen on television. “He’s hot and hot people don’t go to prison, it’s the law. He was also really cool about this whole murder thing and, call me a bad lawyer all you want, but I just don’t think cool people should be punished.”

As part of the manhunt, the police sent divers to search the Central Park lake and I don’t know why no one told them he probably wasn’t down there. No, Mangione ended up in a Pennsylvania McDonald’s which is just constantly in the news at the moment for some reason. He was then dobbed in by a goddamn snitch, a goddamn piece of work and good citizen if ever I saw one, he’s the one that should be arrested, not the hot one, Jesus.

On Mangione’s person was a note explaining his motives (very cool) and a 3D-printed “ghost gun” (super cool). So it’s going to be a tough call in the trial going forward. Will the judge and jury behave as they should, weigh up all the evidence, and lay out a suitable punishment? Or will they be like, “Ya but he dreamy, tho,” and let him free, setting a dangerous president for future models to off anyone deemed publically bad?

We get shooters all the time and you’d think every one of them would be demonized evenly but the general public doesn’t believe that murder is necessarily the worst thing. Sometimes the public will justify a murder if the cause appears noble and if they’re not a little goblin freak. Self-defence, a just war, capital punishment, just really poetic, passionate revenge, all can make killing ok to people.

But who gets to decide when killing is ok? The history of civilization has been the struggle to answer that question and we have long since concluded that leaving the answer to public consensus leads to dangerous mob rule, emboldens vigilantes, and leaves no recourse to punish killers who do not have righteous motivation or kill by mistake. We’ve built a legal system, that though imperfect does a better job at parsing out right and wrong than ‘just vibes’. And crucially this system has mechanisms to self-correct and improve. Righteous killing does not.

The system is broken but part of its self-preservation mechanisms is in its complexity and ability to disperse responsibility so no one person can be held accountable. The system can’t be dismantled because no one needs to take responsibility. The converse of this is that killing one person, shocking and newsworthy though it may be, does nothing to fix the larger system. Perhaps it was revenge but revenge brings only short-term satisfaction, not real solutions. Perhaps it was purely to send a message and maybe this death will motivate changes. To deem its justification this would have to bring about some change but even if it does we can only damn these actions as that of a pariah lest we inadvertently sanctify future killings, even those with which we don’t agree.

“Brian Thompson was a father to two, he was a husband, and he was a friend to many,” said Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro at a news conference yesterday. “And yes he was the CEO of a health insurance company,” he added as if this balanced out the other good things he just said.

“In America, we do not kill people in cold blood to resolve policy differences or express a viewpoint,” Shapiro continued. “I have no tolerance nor should anyone for one man using an illegal ghost gun to murder someone because he thinks his opinion matters most in a civil society, we are all less safe when ideologues engage in vigilante justice. In some dark corners, [Twitter] this killer is being hailed as a hero. Hear me on this: he is no hero the real hero in this story is the person who allied 911 at McDonald’s this morning.”

Luigi’s Mansion is now trending on Twitter.

Alright, let’s have some European politics, as a palette cleanser. Hear me out. French Prime Minister Michel Barnier has been ousted from his top position after pushing through a controversial budget with just three months under his belt. Why does that sound familiar…

That’s right! It’s because the same thing happened in the UK two years ago when Prime Minister (and professional lettuce impersonator) Liz Truss was forced to resign for her expired economic plan. And, although it’s not quite the same, the US government seems to be perpetually on the verge of shutdown when the budget doesn’t get pushed through in time. Much like why I’m constipated.

Anyway, back to France. So Barnier was President Emmanuel Macron’s top pick (I know, France has both, I don’t get it either, let’s move on) and that’s super embarrassing for both I bet (I don’t know, it’s not happened to me) but Macron’s probably going to be fine so that’s good for him. Meanwhile, Barnier has left the government without saying goodbye to anyone which is known as a French exit or a French leave or an Irish exit or an Irish goodbye or (if you’re French) an English exit but if I’d used that the joke wouldn’t have worked. I guess you just name an exit after whichever peoples you think are rude.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Europe’s a mess. Basically, ever since the previous election France now has these three, equally powerful political blocs, and each time one tries to do anything the other two vote it down. Like a giant game of pierre-papier-ciseaux. I guess a calcified ultra-partisan three-party system is better than a calcified ultra-partisan two-party system, right? RIGHT?

People, or at least the doom-hype train that is the news, are saying that this could spell the collapse of Europe and society as we know it. Because, you know, if France can’t get its act together maybe they won’t be all together when Ukraine needs continued support. And then Trump comes in and pulls out America’s help as well and Russia gets carte blanche to march in and take Ukraine, then Poland, then East Germany, West Germany, France, Britain and before you know it the Capitol building has a big onion-shaped dome instead of just a regular dome.

So, yeah. French politics doesn’t seem so unimportant now, huh?

Latest news

Jet2 Responds To Viral White House Video: “This Was Not A Chartered Jet2 Holiday”

Happy Tariff-Eve Everyone! Here’s Who’s Still Waiting On A Trade Deal

Tesla’s Plan To Rebuild US Manufacturing: Switch From Chinese To Korean Batteries

US-China Trade Talks Restart In Sweden After Officials Got Lost

Trump Successfully Blackmailed The EU, Here’s How He Did It

Get Rich Quick: Warren Buffett’s Secret Betting Tips

Related Articles

Pen Smith • July 31, 2025

Jet2 Responds To Viral White House Video: “This Was Not A Chartered Jet2 Holiday”

Pen Smith •

Happy Tariff-Eve Everyone! Here’s Who’s Still Waiting On A Trade Deal

Bill Fold • July 28, 2025

Trump Successfully Blackmailed The EU, Here’s How He Did It

Latest news

Jet2 Responds To Viral White House Video: “This Was Not A Chartered Jet2 Holiday”

Happy Tariff-Eve Everyone! Here’s Who’s Still Waiting On A Trade Deal

Tesla’s Plan To Rebuild US Manufacturing: Switch From Chinese To Korean Batteries

US-China Trade Talks Restart In Sweden After Officials Got Lost

Trump Successfully Blackmailed The EU, Here’s How He Did It

Get Rich Quick: Warren Buffett’s Secret Betting Tips

Marge Incall• July 29, 2025D

US-China Trade Talks Restart In Sweden After Officials Got Lost

Marge Incall• D

US-China Trade Talks Restart In Sweden After Officials Got Lost

Trending News