Marge Incall | Wall Street Memes

Look, this is good news really, I know philosophers are often seen as useless, but when big tech has dived in headfirst into maybe the most complex moral and existential waters humanity has ever faced, it seems insane in hindsight that they didn’t think to hire a lifeguard.

But then on the other hand to some extent it’s more AI hype, like, AI is not conscious, it’s not intelligent and hiring a philosopher could just be a marketing strategy to signal to investors that yeah, we’re on the brink of human-level intelligence here.

But hopefully this is an exception, because if anyone needs a philosopher on board it might be the morally suggestible ChatGPT.

The philosopher in question is Henry Shevlin, former associate director at the University of Cambridge’s Leverhulme Centre for the Future of Intelligence.

Writing on LinkedIn Shevlin said, “It’s a rare privilege to work on questions I’ve spent my career thinking about, now with the resources and urgency that come with being inside one of the world’s leading AI labs.”

So, why is this terrifying? Well, I guess the placement implies AI is super sophisticated and needs reigning in by a philosopher. But that could all just be hype.

Oh, sorry, we’re just talking about the cartoon movie here, not the James Cameron, blue aliens one. Was that not clear? Hey, don’t blame me I didn’t name two fantasy franchises the exact same name…

Anyways, yeah, this is the story that the upcoming Nickelodeon movie based on that cartoon TV show called Avatar (that I thought everyone had moved on from) just got leaked, maybe from a hack.

Sorry, sorry, I know you’re still confused, so just to make it clear, we’re not talking about Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005), Avatar: The Last Airbender (2024), Avatar: Seven Havens (2027), The Last Airbender (2010), Avatar (2009), Avatar: The Shape of Water (2022), Avatar: Fire and Ash (2025), no, we’re talking about Avatar: Aang, The Last Airbender (2026).

It’s a cartoon movie sequel to the original TV show and it’s not out yet but two clips have been posted to social media well before any official material has been released.

Claiming credit is a hacker group named PeggleCrew and a leaker called @ImStillDissin who says that Nickelodeon accidentally emailed him the full movie and script. So I guess this was a phishing scam then?

The clips have since been copyright striked and taken down but not before Mr. Dissin could issue a threat for Paramount (Nickelodeon’s parent company) to release a trailer or else he’ll “I’ll livestream the entire movie alongside some Peggle Deluxe gameplay.”

So we’ll just have to wait and see if the threat is hollow or not or if Paramount capitulates but probs they’ll just ignore this publicly and have some lawyers on it in the background.

Paramount could not be reached for comment.

It’s a crazy time we live in, huh?

Iran is planning to require ships passing through the Strait of Hormuz a toll in Bitcoin in what would be a major move away from the US’s control of the economics of that area for now maybe.

Bitcoin is obviously up following the news, rising above $72,500. Maybe Trump’s massive investment into Bitcoin was him playing 4D chess all along.

It’s a big deal because people are talking about how America has this leverage over the global economy because the dollar is the reserve currency. Obviously places like Iran and China don’t want that and now Iran’s holding all the cards they have the political sway to kneecap the dollar.

Here’s an idea though. Maybe rather than Bitcoin or dollars or yuan, why don’t we try something else, why don’t we use buttons?

Now here me out.

Firstly, everyone has buttons, everyone owns buttons so you’ve got a good supply there. They have a practical usage as well because they hold up my pants which dollars don’t do so you’re already winning there.

Buttons already look like coins so you won’t be needing to change slot machines or anything like that.

Buttons have holes in the middle so if you wanted to you could tie them together and keep your money safe like that.

Buttons are much lighter than coins or gold so you can have fun with them there.

Buttons come in all sorts of shapes and sizes so that’s more fun for you there.

Anyways, yeah, what I’m saying is we should go for the petrobutton. Iran should be demanding buttons not Bitcoin. It’s the currency of the future.

Thank god Trump Always Chickens Out because honestly, who wanted him to follow through on his threat that “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will.”?

And in this case, sabre rattling seemed like a good idea at the time even if wiping out a civilization is probably a bad idea for everyone.

But how did Wall Street react?

Oil prices have crashed of course, which is great for my bank account.
The trading floor went wild with an influx of last minute trades reacting to the news.
The larger investment firms have gone all in on AI and treasury funds while the price is right.

In short: it’s a massive rally as Wall Street heaves a sigh of relief that we might have some stability for two weeks at least.

We’ll see if it’ll last of course. Who knows, Trump could easily TACO out of his TACO and Uno Reverse us again. You never can tell with the man who once said, “As president, my highest aspiration is to bring peace and stability to the world.”

Do you remember when the first news about COVID first broke? I don’t know about you but I really discounted it. We’d had so many pandemic scares on the news before it was like the boy who cried wolf. I know that’s maybe selfish, like, these were affecting places and my first thought was ‘don’t care until it affects me’.

But my point is that when a disease gets reported on it is hard to tell if this is the real deal or just another sensationalist headline (because they do like those).

So just keep your wits about you when we talk about Cicada, a new COVID variant officially called BA.3.2. It’s from the Omicron strain (remember that one?) and the current vaccine is less effective against it (but does provide some resistance).

Since its identification in November 2024 it’s spread to 23 countries and at least 25 US states.

“These are still early days,” said professor of infectious diseases at Vanderbilt University Dr. William Schaffner. “But at the moment the conclusion seems to be there is this capacity for this new variant to evade some of the protections we have all acquired over the years.”

“Whether it will push itself to the front of the line remains to be seen. We’ll have to wait and see.” Encouraging stuff.

Oh here’s a good quote: “We haven’t seen evidence of this variant causing more severe disease or an increase in hospitalizations elsewhere,” according to CBS News medical contributor Dr. Celine Gounder, editor-at-large for public health at KFF Health News (what a mouthful).

So we’re OK, right? RIGHT? I CAN’T HANDLE ANOTHER LOCKDOWN!!!

Hey, I’m just heading to the store, do you want anything…? A 20 billion dollar base on the moon? Yeah, that’s not on the shopping list…

Oh, OK, you’re going to cancel the Lunar Gateway Station that you had planned? And repurpose the equipment for the moon base? Well, that’s lovely, but I think they only do fruits and vegetables. I can get you a kumquat?

Yeah, I think a moon base is going to take at least seven years to build, I’ve only got the afternoon because I’ve got to pick up the cat from the vets. …put down, yeah. I mean, I can make a start on the moon base then just see where I get to in a couple hours?

What’s that? “It should not really surprise anyone that we are pausing Gateway in its current form and focusing on infrastructure that supports sustained operations on the lunar surface.” OK, but I’m telling you I am surprised, I’m telling you none of this was on the shopping list.

“Despite some of the very real hardware and schedule challenges, we can repurpose equipment and international partner commitments to support surface and other program objectives.”

Yeah, no, that’s putting it lightly. I could maybe steal you a shopping trolley but I’m not sure that’s going to be much help. Look, I’m just saying this is a really big pivot, Jared.

Can I get you anything that’s actually reasonable? Lettuce? Mayonnaise? …A nuclear electric propelled deep space rocket to Mars? …I mean, if I can get it on my loyalty points, sure.

And that needs to be launched before 2028? Well, that’s plenty of time, order online and you won’t need next day delivery, just go standard and save yourself some money.

What’s that? You want to call it Space Reactor 1 Freedom? Alright, well in that case you’ve got two years to think of a new name too.

Look, I’m going to shops anyway, no, yes, I don’t care if China gets there first, I’m getting the basic groceries and for everything else you can just sort yourself out. Got it? Alright, see you later.

You know in sci-fi movies when they would just fill out the background with news reports on the TV or whatever and they have these implausible futuristic headlines like “Venutian Uprising Quelled!” or “Mutant Spiders Conquer India!”? …well this is one of those, except it’s not the future. It’s now.

The robotics firm, Foundation, is reportedly sending two humanoid robots to the front line of the Ukraine war in a groundbreaking test that could shape the future of combat.

In February, two Phantom Mk-1 units, designed for simple factory work, were deployed for reconnaissance trails in Ukraine. As Foundation CEO Mike LeBlanc told Time, “We think there’s a moral imperative to put these robots into war instead of soldiers,” and eventually these robots should be able to use “any kind of weapon that a human can.”

See what I mean? This is copy from a cyberpunk video game, not actual news, surely?

Now, I know Mike says there’s a “moral imperative” to use his product and give him money, but if you’re going to bring up morality, let’s talk about that, shall we? Because sure, it’d be better if machines are being ‘killed’ in wars rather than people but if you’re arming those machines, you’re still arming them to shoot other people. Right?

What this’ll just end up being (and what it has been in almost every modern war) is you’ll have one side who can afford to use robots to minimise casualties while the other, poorer side will still be using good old disposable humans.

So it makes you wonder, is it moral to fight a war where only your enemy loses soldiers, Mike?

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves for sure. We’ve seen enough viral clips of Asimo falling over to know that we’re still a long way off any kind of terminator scenario. Additionally bear in mind that ‘Foundation’ and other tech companies have it in their interests to conjure these sci-fi headlines because it makes them seem so advanced and trailblazing that you just have to invest in them.

The future is a long way off but investing in the hype is happening right now.

It’s the ultimate test of wits, brawn, might and muscle, that’s right, it’s Polymarket! everyone’s favorite prediction platform. But the real question is which is better? Claude or ChatGPT, sorry, wait, not ChatGPT… OpenClaw.

OpenClaw? Who gives a g** about OpenClaw??? I guess this one guy I suppose…

This anonymous bettor gave Claude and OpenClaw $1,000 each and 48 hours to trade however they wanted. So let’s see how they did, huh?

Oh. Turns out it’s a complete wash. Never mind. Claude was up 1,322%, making a massive $13,216 nice, interesting, ok, thank you, good job. OpenClaw?

“Liquidated to zero in under 48h.”

Nice one, idiot. I mean, tbh I didn’t expect anything of from you, so sounds about right.

So it was less Rocky and more Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson.

Polymarket? More like, GOLLY-market!

We don’t know what the actual trades were of course or if the post is even real, before you start putting all your chips on Claude. On top of that, OpenClaw is just that, an open source AI agent making software, so the results completely depend on how good the agent that this guy made was.

This isn’t the first time someone’s run a similar experiment (see below) so is the future of these prediction markets is entirely run by AI? Maybe. Idk. Why you asking me? Get out of here.

So this flashy chart made the rounds on social media recently because it seems to show you if you’re going to lose your job because of AI and we humans are just suckers for anything that promises to tell our future, aren’t we?

The graph comes from a research paper by economists Maxim Massenkoff and Peter McCrory working at Anthropic who definitely don’t have a vested interest in making AI look like it can do a bunch of jobs.

There’s a bunch of interesting observations such as, “Workers in the most exposed professions are more likely to be older, female, more educated, and higher-paid.” So, sorry about that, mom.

But onto the graph itself:

And it’s all pretty much what you’d expect. Stuff that requires talking directly to people or dealing with physical objects are least likely to be affected whereas more abstract, numbers focused areas and stuff will potentially be hardest hit.

What’s more interesting though than the sectors is the gap between the ‘observed’ AI coverage and the ‘theoretical’ coverage. Nice of them to put that distinction in there.

To me it kind of shows that AI’s not really hitting the way it should yet. There’s massive promises but still a big gulf between where it’s at and where it’s supposed to be.

I mean you may have seen stories of people being laid off to be replaced by AI but rumors of their deaths may have been greatly exaggerated. For example, Jack Dorsey’s ‘Block’ fired a bunch of people and claimed it was because of AI when really they just overhired during COVID but want to look tech-forward to investors.

I’m not saying it’s not happening, but just bear in mind that the tech industry is entirely built on hype.

Just the name itself, ‘AI’, is overpromising what it actually is because we’re yet to see sci-fi levels intelligence but they’re banking on you making that assumption yourself.

There’s a lot of hot air flying around, blowing up AI to make it something bigger than it actually is. And I’m sorry to say that this graph is just another example of that.

Jensen ‘Well’ Huang has come out and said that Nvidia’s massive investment in OpenAI and Anthropic will likely be its last for a long time.

At an industry conference on Wednesday, Huang explained that although the $30 billion was being finalized, investing the full $100 billion was “probably not on the cards”. …graphics cards do you mean??

I’m not sure how they can just go back on the original $100 billion promise but whatever…

The U-turn might be due to the ongoing spat between OpenAI, Anthropic and the Pentagon. After Anthropic’s military deal fell apart, OpenAI swooped in to fill the gap. As a result, OpenAI has seen droves of users uninstall ChatGPT while Anthropic’s Claude rocketed to the most downloaded free app in the charts.

Here’s the full lowdown on that:

There’s a lot happening and it’s all quite messy but from what I can gather, Claude was actually used to help gather intelligence, select targets and carry out battlefield simulations for the Iran attack. Which is CRAZY on it’s own. Like, sci-fi level stuff here. But do remember that chatbots aren’t AI (despite the branding), they are just very very good LLMs so we haven’t gone full skynet/matrix just yet.

But then Trump said Anthropic is a “Radical Left AI company run by people who have no idea what the real World is all about” and told the Pentagon not to use it because they objected to its use in the Venezuelan kidnapping.

So then OpenAI swoops in and says, ‘Don’t worry! We don’t have any moral principles whatsoever!’ and signs a contract that let’s the Pentagon use ChatGPT to spy on American citizens. Obviously everyone, including OpenAI’s own employees, objected to this clause and now Sam Altman’s trying to go back on this deal and get some more human rights assurances in the deal.

*deep breath*

I mean that’s like twelve different news stories in one there and it goes even deeper than that. But THE POINT IS it feels like we’re reaching a crunch point for AI and government influence over AI. This story likely isn’t going anywhere for a while so watch this space if you want to see our society collapse in real time!

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Google DeepMind Just Hired A Philosopher And Here’s Why That’s Terrifying

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