Ima Short | Wall Street Memes

In 2017 Bulgaria had a massive stockpile of 213,500 Bitcoin but sold it all. Today that much would be worth $14,393,970,038.96 dollars. That’s not enough to wipe out its $37.1 billion national debt, despite what the headline says, but still…

Look, I just got this from a tweet and I started writing before I actually looked any of this up but what do you expect? Journalist integrity? I mean, you’re getting your information from Wall Street Memes Dot Com so who’s the real criminal here?

Bitcoin tweet — Don’t come after me. Blame @bestplayeratlas

Anyways…

Bulgaria’s Bitcoin blumber (lol, I meant to say ‘blunder’) will go down as one of history’s biggest fumbles, but it’s not the first time people have lost out on a bit’o’coin. Read on to learn more:

Germany’s Billion Dollar Blunder

In 2024, Germany seized around 50,000 Bitcoin worth about $2.2 billion and immediately dumped it into the market. Bitcoin obviously later surged and if they’d just held on a bit(coin) longer, they could have made gains of $3.6 billion. Damn girl. Sucks to be German right now.

Bitcoin Pizza

I’m sure you’ve heard about it, the very first Bitcoin transaction in history. On May 22, 2010, Laszlo Hanyecz made history by trading 10,000 BTC for two Papa John’s pizzas. Well, now that pizza would be worth $672,494,956.28 and Laszlo can still be heard crying into his garlic dip to this day.

Bored Ape Mispricing

Before Bored Apes were boring, NFT trader Maxnaut listing Bored Ape Yacht Club #3547 for 0.75 ETH (~$3,000) instead of 75 ETH (~$300,000). A bot purchased the listing instantly and relisted it for full market value, netting an enormous profit. Yikes.

Crypto.com’s Unrefundable Refund

In 2021, Crypto.com refunded a $100 to an Australian user but accidentally transferred A$10.5 million (~$7 million USD) due to a field entry mistake. Thevamanogari Manivel, used the funds to buy property and distribute gifts before the exchange discovered the error months later during an audit. The site recovered most of the money in a lawsuit but still lost out big.

Tether Mints $5 Billion USDT By Accident

In July 2019, Tether, the issuer of the world’s largest stablecoin, USDT, accidentally minted $5 billion worth of tokens on the Tron blockchain while performing a routine chain swap. The mistake happened during a migration process between Omni and Tron networks, when the operator misentered a decimal value. Those pesky periods. Women and Bitcoin miners worst enemy.

Shout out to this article that I cribbed those last three entries from because cba today. You think these were massive fumbles? Babes, I’m fumbling my whole life.

AWS! Amazon Web Services, the cloud computing firm that is down more than its up, just reported another outage, but this time it really wasn’t their fault.

On Sunday, 4:30pm local time, Dubai, United Arab Emirates, Middle East, Earth, Space… one of Amazon’s data centers was HIT with an unidentified object. That’s right, an ALIEN.

The impact sparked a fire that required power to be shut off whilst the fire department put out the blaze.

During this period a number of services were down including my gf’s Skype because I was trying to call her on Skype and she said she couldn’t pick up because of the Amazon Web Services outage in Dubai and I said, but you’re not in Dubai we both live in Buffalo. And she said, no, but it’s still affected her connection, she can’t video call right now. And I said, OK, then, I’ll just come over, I’m only a seventeen minute drive away and she said no, don’t come over, it’s really bad, she’s been electrocuted by the Skype AWS outage and I said Ok, well, I’m definitely coming over and then she said she wanted to break up with me.

It remains UNCLEAR if the AWS outage and the subsequent deterioration of my relationship was caused by the Iran/US conflict that’s happening right now but it’s does seem to coincide suspiciously well. Who knows. What do I look like, someone who knows these things? I’m going through a lot right now, please let me be.

This news follows a streak of shitty performance issues from AWS. A couple of weeks ago it was reported that the December outage was caused by an AI coding bot (lol) in a fine example of tech eating itself.

So that’s interesting.

THE PRICE OF OIL IS UP! PEOPLE ARE DEAD! AMERICA HAS ATTACKED THE MIDDLE EAST! THE PRESIDENT HAS KILLED A FOREIGN DICTATOR!

Hehe, now, I know what you’re thinking, but no, this isn’t 1949, 1953, 1958, 1963, 1979, 1987, 1990, 2001, 2003, 2014 or 2020, no, this is completely different.

America is ISOLATIONIST now, haven’t you heard? Our America first president pulled our troops out of the middle east. HAVEN’T YOU HEARD! We’re not going to get involved in Israel or Iran or Lebanon or Syria or blahblablahblablah.

No, this isn’t a war because legally Congress would have to approve that. No, this is a conflict, completely different. These are limited airstrikes. This isn’t a full scale war (even though it’s spilled over into multiple countries).

But you’re not interested in any of this are you? No, you’re interested in your MONEY. Well, here’s a short list of all the assets and stocks hit by this war, sorry, conflict. Enjoy:

OIL

Mentioned at the top, oil prices have spiked because, don’t you know? Oil comes from the middle of the east? You thought it was shat out by dinosaurs? What? What is wrong with you? No, oil comes from the blood of dead civilians. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY.

STOCK FUTURES

Somehow affected by the present, American stocks tumbled following the news with Dow Jones Industrial Average Futures (DJIAF!) down 1%. Which doesn’t sound a lot but it is if it’s your one percent.

INFLATION

Is up, of course. So, good luck with that house you were planning on never buying because now it’s definitely not happening.

GOLD

The stability indicator. Gold is up. That’s not a good sign for anyone.

AMAZON

Amazon’s data center or something was hit or something? Idk, I’ve not read up on it, yet, that’s the second article I’ve got to write. I’ll let you know when it’s up.

OUR ATTENTION SPANS

I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but I can only handle about one major news story a week. Now that this war has come around, Epstein, Venezuela, Gaza, Ukraine have all been completely pushed out of my brain. I can’t wait for next week’s story that’ll push out this one too!

OH, YEAH AND ALSO PEOPLE AND STUFF

Sorry, forgot to mention like, people and property and infrastructure and soldiers and government regimes and cars and airports and children and teddy bears probably have also been hit but that just goes without saying.

The company formally known as MicroStrategy (it’s just Strategy now) is officially the most shorted company in the world after Bitcoin took a massive 50% dip and Michael Saylor was spotted learning how to tie a noose.

Bearish investors have put money against 14% of the company’s entire market capitalisation which is just a bit harsh, isn’t it?

Bitcoin microstraegy short list — Goldman Sachs full list.

Strategy and Saylor previously had a massive win when Bitcoin reached an all time high (ATH) last year, but now that the party’s over, Saylor has reportedly lost billions and as one of the largest holders of Bitcoin the company is sat on a big pile of nothing.

But who’s to say that Bitcoin won’t turn around? If the crypto currency can rally and return to its previous form, all those shorts will be obliterated and Saylor will be laughing all the way to the returns desk at the noose store.

Maybe we can see another GameStop situation, where the internet rallies behind a cause and pumps Bitcoin up to kill the shorts.

Hey, we’re Wall Street Memes, birthed from Wall Street Bets and the GameStop saga and all that marketing copy. We’re the home of the degen and the hottest memes and etc. etc. We’ve got a community that can rally behind us right? With just my words, we can bring about an end of the shorts and save our beloved Strategy, right?!

So, who’s with me? I said, WHO’S WITH ME!!

…

Ok, I guess this isn’t the same situation at all. Fine, but don’t come crying to me when I’m rich and you’re dead.

RIP Bitcoin. It was beautiful while it lasted.

President Donald F. Trump just broke an all time record for longest State Of Union address and lowest approval ratings but still put on a brave face and said everything is alright.

Ignoring rising costs for everything, soaring house prices, unrest in Minnesota, Trump rambled on about how he’s doing great and everything’s fine and there’s nothing to worry about so be quiet please.

Wall Street reacted a little, I guess, but this is just a speech, it’s not any substantive change so there wasn’t much to react to I suppose. Traders are much more focused on Nvidia’s upcoming earnings report which matters a lot more really.

In order to pad out the run time, Trump paraded out Olympic medal winners, Charlie Kirk’s wife and JD Vance was there for some reason??

But perhaps the highlight of the event was when every single member of the republican party was removed after disrupting Trump’s speech by whooping and chanting “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” repeatedly.

House Speaker Mike Johnson banged his gavel and instructed the Republicans to “Uphold and maintain decorum in the House and to cease and further disruptions” multiple times. However, the representatives were simply too excited by Trump’s words and had to be forcibly removed from the chamber by the sergeant at arms.

The chanting and cheers continued as the republican representatives resisted their ejection in what many are now calling “reverse January 6th”.

“I don’t know why we were kicked out, sure they were disruptions, but they were positive disruptions,” explained Senator Ted Cruz outside the Capitol. “Yes, I was chanting at the top of my lungs but how could you not? It’s not everyday you get to meet your second favorite president.”

When Trump was finally able to continue highlighting his accomplishments, Rep. Johnson noted that Democrats were also disruptive by engaging in subtle and not so subtle protests against the president. Some wore badges saying, “RELEASE THE FILES” and “I LIKE ROCKS” (but that last one might have been about something else).

The House Speaker then called for all these members to be ejected from the chamber as well and finally Rep. Johnson ejected himself for banging his gavel too loudly. This left the building entirely empty but for Trump.

Undeterred, the president continued his speech to an empty room. It is unclear what was said as no one was their to witness it. Republicans are now stumped as to what to do policy-wise as the popular riddle asks, “If a Trump makes a speech in an empty congress hall and no one is there to hear it, do his tariffs still apply?”

Rep. Al Green’s whereabouts remain unknown although he is now presumed dead.

Stick with Wall Street Meams Dot Com for more political discourse that’s up to the minute (but obviously not this exact minute, or the next one, just, I meant whatever minute I’m writing about, leave me alone.).

Get in, loser, we’re going house shopping.

IT’S A BUYERS MARKET, BOYS! Reportedly, there are 44% more home sellers than buyers in America. That translates to about 600,314 more houses for sale than people actually want to buy them. That’s up 30% from last year and the second largest gap since 2013 (the most was 45% in December 2025) but it’s still 1000% unlikely that you’ll own a house any time soon.

Does this mean we’re heading for a crash? Well, not necessarily. Technically it’s been a buyers markets since May 2024 and it’s only a buyer’s market for those even able to buy. It’s almost the opposite of what we saw in the 2008 housing crisis when everyone was buying and houses became insanely undervalued.

So if there’s a housing crisis, with people desperate for homes, why is no one buying? Well, it’s because house prices are just too damn high. The current situation is its own special kind of dire with house prices skyrocketing despite a growing housing shortage. House prices have only been going up, pricing out those who actually want to buy.

Home A Loan

That’s the state we’re in right now, were there’s buyers but none of them can afford the insane prices that the sellers are asking for. This massive discrepancy will only even out when house prices start to fall.

We might see a shift to cheaper houses because of this, but it’ll be gradual. I mean, any change has already has been glacial, if at all.

So don’t expect a dramatic The Big Short style crash any time soon. And instead of a fast-paced, all-star movie adaptation, we’re probably looking at an incredibly boring fourteen-part documentary.

Don’t hold your breath.

It’s AI, but not in the way that you think…

As you probably know, the stock market’s looking a little battered right now, losing $800 billion dollars of hypothetical money.

There are a number of reasons for the dip but a big one is just the general uncertainty in the market right now. And, in turn, a big reason for that is the looming spectre of tariffs (yes, again). After SCOTUS killed POTUS’s use of emergency powers to make sweeping increases to import taxes.

But there’s something else that’s got peeps spooked and curiously it’s not the AI bubble, but it also is, and, in fact, it kind of isn’t, but also is.

It seems to me that Wall Street is trying not to make the AI bubble a self-fulfilling prophecy because what’s happened is that investors have pulled funds from companies that either aren’t implementing AI or AI companies that are seen as failing.

A sort of AI-cull if you will.

Maybe the theory is that by pruning the rose bush it’s going to bloom more come summer. But surely what’s going to happen is everyone’s incentivised to double down on AI and the bubble becomes more likely instead?

Rather than the purely speculative stock market wagging the dog, what’s really needed is for these AI companies to actually start making money. Like, I know everyone’s hyped about OpenAI’s IPO of SpaceX merging with xAI and doing the same, but this is all conjecture. This is hot air blowing up the balloon, what we need is substance an actual (sustainably) profitable use case for this technology or the thing will pop.

But we’ll see. We’ve got Nvidia’s quarterly earnings coming up which will be a litmus test for the rest of the sector. And then of course we have the secret bi-annual summit of malignant super-sentiences. Oh, you didn’t know about that? Well, of course not, it’s a secret. Yeah, that’s who’s really running things…

Since its peak of $126,000, Bitcoin has fallen 50% (half) due to numerous factors but mainly because the whole world is a little fucked right now.

Once again for the people in the back row, Bitcoin and other cryptos are a highly volatile asset meaning that people are less likely to invest during ties of uncertainty. Gold is the opposite and the two thus become rule-of-thumb barometers for how people think the economy is going.

And who exactly are those ‘people’ you may ask? Well often it’s the money people looking to make more money. In this case it’s hedge fund managers, who initially poured in a lot of cash in Bitcoin and boosted the crypto to its ATH, but are now pulling out (heheh).

I mean, that’s pretty much the news. It’s not really news is it? BREAKING: Asset Goes Up In Value. Like, yeah, and it’ll probably go down in a bit too. That’s the problem with reactive finance news, the news alone isn’t very insightful, like the pure, ‘this thing just went up/down’ isn’t game changing.

I guess it’s the analysis behind it that makes the story worth reading and I’m sorry I can’t offer that but what did you really expect from Wall Street Memes Dot Com? If you thought you were getting something valuable here, that’s on you.

Heck, you realise this is just a way of keeping content churning out for what is literally just an advert for an online casino? And we only exist because we’re trying to make money too. We don’t really care about any of this or making your life better.

In fact, we’re probably making your life worse but we’re making money and so long as we do we will continue to exist.

And I’ll keep getting paid to write this garbage…

We’ve had Trump’s bonus tax for consumers (or as he likes to call them ‘tariffs’) for nearly a year now and, surprise, surprise, the economic policy of ‘pissing off your trade partners’ hasn’t heralded the economic paradise that Mr. President claimed it would be.

Even after the Supreme Court shot down Trump’s use of Emperor-Palpatine-Style ‘emergency powers’ to impose tariffs, he’s doubling down and finding new loopholes to increase the tax to a blanket 10% for everyone. No, wait, sorry, this just in, 15%. He changed his mind apparently.

It’s a far cry from the giddy heights of 145% taxes on Chinese imports. Plus, Trump’s using Section 122 which is only temporary and will need congressional approval after 150 days. Oh, how the mighty have McFallen.

What’s really hilarious is that to some extent, the tariffs were beneficial. At the time, the entire world bent over backwards to capitulate with Trump’s terroristic demands, securing some favorable deals for Trump. Now those world leaders must feel a little stupid knowing that Trump’s gun to their head was seemingly illegal and apparently could have been removed at any time.

Well, now it seems they’re finally standing up for themselves, taking the inch that the Supreme Court’s granted. The EU have already said that they’re not going to pay more and that “a deal is a deal.”

“The current situation is not conducive to delivering ‘fair, balanced, and mutually beneficial’ transatlantic trade and investment, as agreed ‌to by both sides.”

Potentially even the illegal tariffs might have to be refunded and repaid, which would be crazy. Jesus Christ, what a mess…

So we’ll just have to wait and see what happens of course and there is still a lot more flailing to be done, but right now Trump’s on the back foot and the world can take a little breather.

OK, ‘leaked’ is a strong word, I think they always get officially released? That’s nice. Some nice transparency for once (I’m looking at you, Epstein Files).

So despite Trump’s pressure and a looming replacement to Jay Powell, most Fed Reserve officials seemed hesitant to cut rates any further with some suggesting that maybe we should even raise the rates.

Oops.

It’s by no means clear cut however, and if anything the take away is that they can’t agree on anything. This will likely cause more rifts when Trump turns his eye-of-sauron back on the Fed and will mean Kevin Walsh might be ice skating uphill against his colleagues come his swearing in in May.

Alright, there’s a lot more to this story, but it’s all a little boring. If you want more, you can get into the weeds of it, in this article. But if you want to stick around, we can play some tik-tak-toe? Pass the time, why not?

Cool, I’ll go first:

           | |
____|____|____
           | X |
____|____|____
           | |
           | |

Haha, beat that. OK, you’re turn… Yeah, just write it in right there on the screen. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

…Take your time.

I know, it’s a complicated game, takes a lot of thought, but whenever you’re ready.

Sure, no, do, think about it. I’ll be right here…

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