Bill Fold | Wall Street Memes

How did the CEO of Reddit become a billionaire? What? How do you think? He’s the CEO of Reddit. That’s such a stupid question. You think the 7th most visited site on the internet just doesn’t make money? (Shut up, Wikipedia, I’m not talking about you.)

Look, it’s very easy, all you have to do is pitch “the front page of the internet” to investors with your college roommate in 2007, win a $12,000 grant, write the code in 20 days, gain another 100,000 dot-com-boom-dollars from investors, sell within 16 months for $10 million, quit, come back, turn the company around and then announce an earnings of $1.2 billion and a $38 billion market cap just last Thursday and BOOM, two decades later, you’re a billionaire.

It’s simple, really.

But yeah, that’s the story of Steve Huffman, who really played the long game on this one. Let’s hope he didn’t need that money for anything important.

We’re on Reddit. It’s just a thread of everyone calling us a scam, but still…

Now Huffman will join the prestigious club of the 3,028 billionaires in the world who just so happened to be the same 3,028 people on my own personal list of people who’ll be the first with their backs up against the wall when the revolution comes.

Damn, Huffman, maybe you should think long and hard about whether you actually want to be a part of this club… Anyway, what was I saying, oh yeah:

Reddit CEO billionaire hare and tortoise — I found this picture online and jesus christ it’s cursed.

The hare and the tortoise is a classic fable about the virtue of patience over prowess, even though that’s terrible advice for a race. Reddit CEO Steve Huffman is not the only billionaire tortoise, and many other richies have similar bedtime stories to tell.

Nvidia’s Jensen Huang also took two decades to secure his fortune, Netflix-guy Reed Hastings waited a similar timeframe for his winnings, and Figma CEO Dylan Field took a risk dropping out of college in 2012 but now he’s worth $5 billion dollars in US money.

It just goes to show that if you’re not rich now it’s not because you’re lazy, stupid and unoriginal it’s just because you’re playing the long game too.

Who knows? Maybe in a couple decades we’ll both be sitting in the club and we’ll see each other across the room and we won’t say anything, we’ll just smile, give a little nod and raise a glass.

President Donald Jesus Trump just hopped, skipped and jumped his way to a positive meeting with China CEO, Xi JinPing, the first one in six years, meaning maybe MAYBE I can start affording my Alibaba jeggings again.

The talks in South Korea went “amazing” despite months of escalating tariffs, rhetoric and jegging costs.

So what is this big deal then? Well, it’s a secret.

Oh, ok… can we see it? No.

It’s a secret.

Right, ok, so there wasn’t actually an agreement from the talks yet BUT we’ve got high hopes. This is a step forward after all. Potentially it might still take months to actually put together a deal.

That’s just not good enough. I NEED MY JEGGINGS!!!

Trump China Trade Deal 2020 — Not sure what they’re signing here, then. Also, Trump’s looking pretty good in this pic. Hey, what’s Mike Pence doing there… oh wait, this is from 2020, never mind…

Crucially though we’ve got a rare earth expert control measure pause on rare earth material exports so that’s good but do you know what’s not made of rare earths? …mygoddamjeggings.

Don’t know what I’m on about? Read this one: Trump Demands China Stop Hogging Rare Earth Minerals, “They Wouldn’t Be So Rare If You Just Shared”

Also, China’s going to buy a “tremendous amounts of soybeans and other farm products” says Trump. Like, okeee… Why should I care about soybeans? I don’t eat soybeans. I DON’T CARE ABOUT SOYBEANS I WANT MY JEGGINGS!!!

According to the BBC, “US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent later told Fox Business that China had agreed to buy 12 million metric tonnes of soybeans this season, and would follow that up with a minimum of 25 million tonnes per year for the next three years.” SHUT UP ABOUT SOYBEANS!!!!

But Trunp’s bringing down tariffs. That’s a start. Ok, that’s a start.

China, China, China, China

Who’s to say, though? This feels like a ceasefire, and we all know that ceasefires don’t really mean anything if everyone keeps shooting.

We’ll have to wait and see whether Trump’s hardball tariff swinging match will pay off or whether he’s just nuked the whole economy irreparably.

Stay tuned to find out!

For more on this story, click here: Trump’s Tariffs Take Effect TODAY Explaining Why My Jeggings Haven’t Arrived Even Though I Ticked Next Day Delivery

US chip manufacturer Frito Lay, no wait, sorry, Nvidia just became the first company in the history of the world to reach a market value of $5 trillion dollars.

For reference, Frito Lay is only worth $13 billion.

Nvidia company value graph — Squad goals.

Since Canada is worth 2.241 trillion US dollars, Nvidia has unveiled its plan to buy the country and then build another Canada beside it.

The new land mass will fill a large portion of the North Atlantic Ocean and create a bridge between the Americas and Europe.

Nvidia are currently crowdsourcing names for its new continent but the current front runners are:

Two Canadas (Toucan for short)

Nvidia (already sounds like a country)

Greater North America

Chip Land

SuckitInteldia

Canada 2.0

America-But-Bettter

Nvidia Island (not affiliated with Epstein Island)

GPUtopia

Nvidia says the new land will grant it the necessary 20 million square kilometers required to build its AI data centers.

Yes, it’s AI that has really powered Nvidia’s recent surge. Just three months ago they were valued at $4tn but following some massive deals and partnerships with OpenAI, Intel and the US Government, chip boy is now officially the biggest company in the world.

Congrats, son.

Eli Lilly, Palantir, Hyundai, Samsung, Nokia, Uber are just some of the massive deals Nvidia’s been making in the last few days as they continue their crazed spending spree to make a deal with literally every company in the world.

The chipmaker will become one of Nokia’s largest shareholders with a $1bn investment for 166,389,351 shares (2.9% of the corp) and a plan to incorporate AI into telecommunications, data centre infrastructure, and other boring things like that.

Obviously, Nokia got a stock boost from the news, jumping 21% to their highest price in ten years, gaining €6.7 billy, proving once again that Nokias are unbreakable.

Along with this news, Nvidia announced partnerships with a bunch of other brands, including a remit to build a 100,000 robotaxi fleet for Uber and seven new supercomputers for the Department of Energy.

All this is to say that Nvidia expects a $500 billion revenue through next year, and hey, it looks like they might get it. Just one thing the money might go to is their recent foray into connecting autumn computers to their AI chips. Because yeah, what AI really needs is the ability to touch the ethereal space between reality and non-existence.

Recently, Nvidia also invested $100 billion in OpenAI and $5 billion in Intel in an effort to connect itself with every possible company that exists. That way, no one will let Nvidia go down because if they did, they’re bringing the entire economy with them.

What’s that, you’re saying that’s a bubble? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let’s leave the business decisions to the experts now, shall we?

Oop, I’ve not made the word count, OK, here’s the previous article about Nvidia’s investment in Intel:

Intel’s struggling to stay afloat and has already sold off some 10% to the US Government (some how). Now it’s looking like their next biggest rival Nvidia will cut out a chunk from the company to the tune of $5 billion, about 4% of the company making it one of the largest shareholders.

I guess Nvidia doesn’t have a chip its shoulder…

Intel instantly got a boost from the purchase so that’s good but who’s to say if this represents the beginning of an upswing for the corp or it’s the start of the company being sold off for parts.

And honestly, I don’t know how this works, like, isn’t this a conflict of interest? I really don’t understand how any of this works. What am I doing here?

The new pact is for Intel and Nvidia to develop data centres together, hand in hand, like nothing ever happened.

This new alliance could represent a threat to rival chip makers AMD, TSMC, and KFC who might now face the combined might of the two biggest chip manufacturers combined.

Ooh, maybe they’ll rebrand, let’s brainstorm names:

INvidia

That’s quite could, no need to change the pronunciation or anything, smooth and easy.

Nvtel

Ngl, that’s pretty shit. Basically illegible. Not sure what we’re even achieving there.

Nvidiatel

The maximalist option. Corporate boring. 6/10.

Nvidia-Intel

Probably the option they’d actually go with. Boring. Sucks. I hate it.

Intel-Nvidia

Not going to happen. Nvidia have the power, 100% they’ll put themselves first.

Chip Boys

I’m just putting it out there, they should go with something else, something brand new no one’s expecting. My vote is Chip Boys, but Chip Brothers, Chip Men, something along those lines, that would be cool.

Big W for the convicted Binance creator Changpeng Zhao (AKA CZ, BI-Guy, or Peng-Boy as I like to call him), as he has just been pardoned. Congrats, mate, we all knew you could do it.

In a statement, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt said Trump had “exercised his constitutional authority by issuing a pardon for Mr. Zhao, who was prosecuted by the Biden Administration in their war on cryptocurrency.”

Ahh, ok, right, so this is just a political thing. This is Trump trying to score points against Biden and win favor with the crypto bros (big voting bloc).

Zhao previously bribed away the previous administration previously with $4.3 billion dollars in money and then went to prison anyway. He’s out of prison now btw, he only served for four months, but still.

But Zhao might now be able to return to the world’s largest crypto exchange, the company he helped found in 2017. I mean, if they’ll have him, of course.

Binance, Get It? Like Finance, But Bitcoin? …It’s Very Clever

Trump seems to be a big fan of white collar criminals as he’s pardoned a bunch recently, including the money launderers and founders of crypto exchange BitMEX, and also the fraudster who founded EV truck company Nikola. He also commuted the sentence of the Ozy Media executive, whom I assumed committed a crime too but I cba to read what it was.

THIS IS A DEVELOPING STORY, and THAT means I don’t have to hit my word count on this one, so neeeh. Bite me.

For more crypto garbage, read this: If You Can Read This, You Might Have Brain Rot

Current richest man, Elon Musk, just Tweeted an X in response to a post that might just change your life… ok, probably not, but let’s hear it anyway.

“True. That is why Bitcoin is based on energy: you can issue fake fiat currency, and every government in history has done so, but it is impossible to fake energy.”

Now look, I can’t be bothered to look up what the original post was. They could have said, “Energy is gay,” and then Elon’s reply means something completely different.

Or maybe the OP said, “I’m going to blow up a school Elon Musk says it’s true that Bitcoin can’t be faked.” That would also mean something different.

But hey, we’ll never know so currently it just reads like Elon doesn’t know how anything works…

In an AI-written article summarising the story, CoinPedia summarises the point: “The line hits at a simple truth: governments can print money, but they can’t print energy. Does this give Bitcoin a huge advantage?”

Err… no, because governments do print energy, that’s exactly what governments do, they build, fund, and organise power plants, energy grids, power lines, etc. What are you talking about?

What do you mean you can’t fake energy? How, what, what, who, what could that possibly mean?

Fake what? It’s not the energy that’s possibly being faked. Energy is just energy. I’m so confused. I don’t understand what’s going on. Why is the world run by idiots?

Or maybe I’m the idiot? Maybe I don’t understand anything. Maybe I don’t know what’s going on. Who am I?

Where am I? What is energy? Am I a Bitcoin?

Trilogy Metals, $TMQ (you know them, right? Trilogy Metals, they’re famous, everyone knows Trilogy Metals) just had a 210% surge after the US government said they’d buy a 10% stake at $35.6m (million) dollars (US).

You obviously already know this, but Trilogy Metals is a Canadian minerals explorer listed in the US and Trump wants them to dig baby dig in Alaska. So a cheeky little investment was a sure thing AND DEFINITELY NOT INSIDER TRADING.

This ain’t the first time Trump’s trumped up a stock price after turning his eye on Sauron (not naming names, Intel) and it won’t be the last. Here’s our top ten list of stonks that US will invest in next:

10. OpenAI

No one wants the AI bubble to burst less than the US government and what better way to stop it than artificially jacking up their share price? Altman’s the man to watch.

9. SpaceX/Tesla

The rift hasn’t been healed but no doubt Elon will come crawling back begging for a government contract some time soon. Tesla and SpaceX are due for a boost.

8. Gold

Gold’s reached a massive ATH recently after people lost faith in the government. So what better way to renew faith in the government than buying up all the gold?

7. Pelosi Stock

It’s simple: Nancy knows what’s going to happen next because she’s got insider government knowledge. So if the government invests in the same stock she’s investing in then the money will just keep going up. Boom. Infinite money.

6. The US Government

You are your own best cheerleader. You’ve got to faith in yourself. You have to believe in yourself. So go on, turn off the phone, go out there and make something of yourself, son.

5. Trump Gold Premium NFTs

These are the most beautiful NFTs anyone’s ever seen, they’re premium and you’re gonna love ‘em, real gold, made ‘em myself and they’ll be worth millions in two days so buy ‘em now. Get ‘em today.

4. Pokémon Cards

The only investment that doesn’t depreciate. Reportedly, the US government has its eyes on water types and rare Squirtles.

3. Alphabet ($GOOGL)

They make Bing, right? Bing’s the best search engine. I use Bing for everything. Chandler Bing.

2. China

My enemy’s enemy is my friend and my enemy’s success is my failure but if I invest in my enemy and make them my friend then my enemy’s failure is my success. It’s simple math. I’m calling it, America will start buying 10% of all of China.

1. Reverse Cramer

Our number one spot is the only stock that really matters. Everything that Mad Money Jim Cramer says to do, do the opposite. 100% Trump’s going to get in on that action, just you wait and see.

Elon “The Richest Man In The World” Musk is now still the richest man in the world, but even more so this time after reaching a massive $500 billion valuation.

The news comes mere SECONDS after OpenAI announced that it was “worth $500 billion dollars too but we said it first!” Coincidence? I think yes.

Musk is the first person ever to be worth this amount of money for a single human because honestly I don’t think anyone until now thought numbers could even go up that high.

If you were to smush Jeff Bezos and Mark Zukerberg together to create a Jark Bukerzerg that Connenbergian monstrosity still wouldn’t be worked as much as the Musk.

Bezo-bby is worth $233.5 bil, and the Zuck is $245.7 billy. Wtf.

In fact, Musk gained half his value, $245 billion in just this year alone. And I think we can all agree that it was this year in particular that Elon Musk became twice as valuable as before.

Elon Musk Richest Man Tweet — Yes, all my info comes from this tweet, bite me.

FOR COMPARISON, when adjusted for inflation, the wealthiest people IN ALL OF HISTORY were 14th-century African emperor Mansa Musa at $548 billion. JD Rockefeller was $340 billion. Andrew Carnegie was $310 billion, so what are we even doing here?

Musk You Be So Rich?

Honestly at this point what do you even do with your life? Where else is there to go? No wonder he just spends his time Tweeting. SORRY, X-ing.

Who knows what’ll have next, is rocketman still rocketing or has he reached the edge of space? With the interest alone, my boy will be well on his way to a trilly by next week, and honestly, good luck to him.

If I were him I’d buy a country or something, oh wait, he already tried that and the country was called AMERICA.

For more Elon news, click here: Larry Ellison Briefly World’s Richest Man, Ruining Elon’s Killstreak

I guess Nvidia doesn’t have a chip its shoulder…

And honestly, I don’t know how this works, like, isn’t this a conflict of interest? I really don’t understand how any of this works. What am I doing here?

The new pact is for Intel and Nvidia to develop data centres together, hand in hand, like nothing ever happened.

This new alliance could represent a threat to rival chip makers AMD, TSMC, and KFC who might now face the combined might of the two biggest chip manufacturers combined.

Ooh, maybe they’ll rebrand, let’s brainstorm names:

INvidia

That’s quite could, no need to change the pronunciation or anything, smooth and easy.

Nvtel

Ngl, that’s pretty shit. Basically illegible. Not sure what we’re even achieving there.

Nvidiatel

The maximalist option. Corporate boring. 6/10.

Nvidia-Intel

Probably the option they’d actually go with. Boring. Sucks. I hate it.

Intel-Nvidia

Not going to happen. Nvidia have the power, 100% they’ll put themselves first.

Chip Boys

More on this story here: Trump Agrees To Billion-Dollar Saudi Chip Deal, Frito-Lay Stocks Max Out

Who’s Larry Ellison? Oh, the CEO of Oracle. What’s Oracle? Oh, it’s a software company, sorry, I’m just learning all this in real time. That’s crazy that this guy could become the richest man in the world and I’ve never heard of him. Maybe I should have, maybe it’s my job…

Anyway! Oracle’s shares surged 30% today, reaping the rewards from the AI boom and giving hope that maybe the bubble isn’t burst. Maiyyyyybai.

All this means that Oracle’s co-founder Larry has cashed in another $70 billion (!!!), ratcheting him up to $384 billion, making him the second richest man in the world. Watch your ass, Elon Musk.

Elon Musk who only has $20 billion more (‘only’ jesus christ), responded to the announcement, saying, “I will kill you, Larry. I will kill you. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!”

If this trajectory continues, Larry would have the largest one-day increase ever recorded on the index. Obviously, the index doesn’t record everyone otherwise, they’ve give me the crown of largest one-day increase after my cousin Bogdan lent me $40, when I only had $4 at the time, so that’s a 10x increase right there.

Oracle’s mostly a cloud computing service and was late to pivot to AI, but was perfectly poised to use all its data centres for AI which is why we’re in this whole mess. Oracle person, Safra Catz (cool name) said that Oracle signed “four multibillion-dollar contracts with three different customers” in the three months to the end of August. So yeah, mega bucks.

More about Larry? Ok, sure. He owns a tennis tournament (how?). He owns an island, like 98% of the Hawaiian island Lanai. You know, classic rich guy shit. He originally made Oracle as a CIA database. He was an early investor in Tesla so has a 1.4% stake which means he’s 1.4% bleeding Elon dry.

So yeah, are we going to have a new random rich guy that we’re going to have to learn about? Maybe he’ll buy a social media? Maybe he’ll run for president? Who knows! The sky’s the limit when you’re a rich. There is literally nothing that is illegal for you.

For more tech news, Don’t Invest In OpenAi Says OpenAI, Wait, What?

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China, China, China, China

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